Prologue
Travis Michael Swanson was born August 12th, 1995, to Derrek and Jeanette Swanson, in the small, rural town of Pottersville, OH.
Travis had been a fit boy, long and lean. Not what you'd call muscular, but he wasn't anyone's idea of scrawny either. He had a spat of golden brown hair that always looked like he'd just walked through a windstorm, and his brown eyes were so dark they were almost black. Two months before his fifth birthday, his little sister came into the world.
Allison Louise Swanson was born June 30th, 2000, to the same couple, still living in the same town.
In contrast to her brother, Allie had been a plump little cherub. She had platinum blonde curls that coiled in tight springs and beautiful golden ringlets, with eyes a shade of green that could make emeralds jealous.
So there they were. Travie and Allie Swanson. Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Joined at the hip. If you saw one, you knew the other wasn't far behind. This is what people would say about them. And it was absolutely true. Allie's first steps were toward Travie. And she'd been following him around ever sense.
Travie didn't mind having Allie around constantly, like most little boys might. His friends hated having a girl in their group, but to Travie she was never the annoying tag-along or a pest in his eyes. She was just Allie. She was the little sister. And he was the big brother. It was his job to teach her stuff. To protect her. To love her.
As the two got older, Travis grew significantly taller. At least, a few inches taller than most of the other boys his age. He was a handsome boy, already showing signs of a squared off jawline. His hair darkened to a more chestnut brown, and lost its unkempt attitude.
Allie thinned out as well, losing her baby fat as she grew, becoming a lithe little thing. Well, except her thighs. They never got the memo, and remained pleasantly thick, which suited Allie just fine. Not actually short for her age, she still appeared small when standing next to her brother. Her hair darkened some as well, the platinum rescinding itself to just highlights, as the curls loosened and took on a more proper golden hue.
When Travis had first found out he was getting a baby sister and not a brother, he made a wish that she'd at least be a tomboy. And as they grew older, Travis learned quickly what the phrase "be careful what you wish for" meant.
Where Travis was practical, Allie was impulsive. Travis always tried to remain cool, and did so for the most part. Allie, on the other hand, was a constant whirlwind. If Travis was the Calm, then Allie was most assuredly the Storm. And whenever Allie got wound up over something, there was only ever one person who could talk her down and make her see reason.
Only one voice she could hear, only one she'd listen to. Only one that could permeate through her rage. It wasn't mama's stern tone. Or even daddy, with his booming voice. There wasn't a teacher, preacher, or cop alive that could do it. Just Travis. As with everything concerning Allie, it was always, only, Travis.
Two and Seven (2002)
Two or three times a month, mom and dad's work schedules would overlap, and Travie and Allie would have to spend the night with their father's mother, Granny Gerty. And Granny Gerty absolutely hated it. She hated them. At least that's what it felt like to Travie. The only reason she even agreed to watch them at all is because dad picked up where her pension left off when it came to her bills.
It didn't matter what time mom and dad dropped them off. Granny would give them both a 'snack', usually a little cup of out-of-date applesauce for Allie and a piece of crusty, buttered bread for Travis. (Sometimes it was just bread, no butter.) Then she'd give them a half full, room temperature bottle of water to share. And then it was 'bedtime'. Didn't matter if it was 6 o'clock or 8 o'clock. Hell, Travie was pretty sure if they got there at noon, it would be 'bedtime' shortly thereafter.
So they spent most of their time at Granny's confined to and poking around in a dirty spare bedroom. Just a thin, stained mattress on the floor and a bunch of old, broken toys. The toys had been their dad's when he was a kid, and they were already old when he had them. That's how decrepit this junk was. But Travie made do. He kept Allie entertained as best he could.
Allie was in the process of potty training, and had it down pat pretty well. But whenever they were over at Granny's, she'd shove Allie in a pull-up diaper. Whenever Allie needed to potty, Travie would go out to tell Granny. And Granny would yell at him for coming out of the room and tell him that's what the pull-up was for. That she'd clean her up in the morning before they got picked up.
And then in the mornings, she'd yell at little Allie the whole time she cleaned her up. Telling her she was bad for pissing or shitting herself, and having to make their "poor old Granny" clean up after her. Allie would cry, because she didn't understand why she was in trouble. She would've went to the potty, if she'd just been allowed to.
Allie rarely pooped while they were there, since they weren't really getting fed anyways. But she would pee two, maybe three times a night. Travie was tired of them getting yelled at in the mornings. And Allie was doing so well with her potty training. He didn't want their witchy Granny ruining her progress. He'd tried to take Allie to go potty once and Granny had yelled and called him a little pervert. Whatever that meant.
Travie was at a loss. Peeing in diapers wasn't good for Allie. She got rashes. And she really was doing good with the potty training. "I'm the big brother," he thought. "I have to do something." He trudged through the sad remnants of toys, looking for anything that could be a makeshift potty. A bucket, a plastic helmet, anything. Just something she could pee in. He could sneak whatever it was to the bathroom when he went and dump it out.
But the toy selection was limited to say the least, and Travis couldn't find anything resembling a container of any sort. "Trabie, I haffa pee," Allie said. "Shit," Travis thought. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd had an idea, but he wasn't crazy about it.
"Ok, Allie," he said. "C'mere." "Otay Trabie," she said, and waddled over to him. "I'm sorry Allie. But we gotta do something kinda weird ok?" He was already regretting this idea. But he was the big brother. And that witch wasn't gonna yell at his little sister no more.
"Where is da potty?" Allie asked. She was already taking off her pull-up. Travie sighed. "Um, right here Allie," he said, and laid down on his back on the dirty floor. He said, "I know it's weird Allie. But you're gonna havta pee in my mouth." Allie looked confused, so Travis grabbed her little hand and said, "Like this."
He guided Allie's hips and legs till she was standing above his face. Then he said, "Ok Allie. Now you sit down like you're on the potty, ok?" And as she sat he put his lips around her tiny vagina, making sure to completely envelope her labia. The initial shock of feeling his mouth on her sensitive parts caused Allie to start peeing immediately. Travie started swallowing as quickly as he could. "This isn't too bad," Travie thought. "She never pees a lot anyways."
When Allie was done peeing, before she could stand up, Travie stuck the tip of his tongue out. He wasn't sure why he did it, he just did. It planted itself between her lips, and he couldn't help but wiggle it once, getting the last few drops of piss out of her.
Allie just sat there, frozen. She didn't yell, or cry. She looked down at her brother, his face barely visible between her chubby thighs. "What was dat, Trabie?" she asked, head cocked to the side. Travie lifted her up a bit so he could speak. "That was my tongue, Allie," he said quietly, slightly embarrassed. "Oh," the little girl said, simply accepting the answer.
"Is it ok that I did that? Did it feel ok?" he asked her. He still wasn't sure why he'd done it, but something about it excited him. Allie pondered a minute, then said, "Dunno. Doot again. Lessee if I like." So Travie stuck out his tongue again, and wiggled it between her tiny folds a few times.
Allie giggled. "Mm, tickles," she said, still giggling. Cocking her head again and giving it some thought, she finally said, "I like, Trabie." Travis smiled. "Good. Can I do that everytime you're done peeing?" he asked, hopeful. "Sure Trabie!" came the excited reply.
After a few more overnights at Granny's, this just became a normal routine. If Allie needed to pee, Travie laid down and opened his mouth. No big deal. He had even gotten used to the taste. And it kept Allie from getting yelled at. That was all that mattered to Travie. He found it funny that Granny wasn't suspicious when Allie suddenly started having clean pull-ups in the morning. The old witch was just grateful she didn't have to clean Allie up.
Luckily, Allie was a very smart little girl. She'd caught on quickly to the potty training, and she'd caught on quickly to this setup as well. Potty in the potty at home. Potty in Travie's mouth at Granny's. She never once asked to or tried to pee in his mouth any other time, or any other location. Never once said anything about it to anyone. It's just how things worked, as far as Allie was concerned.
Once Allie was fully potty trained, Granny had no choice but to let her go when she needed to. And that was that. Allie never thought about peeing in Travie's mouth again. And Travie had traded embarrassment for pride a long time ago. He'd done what he had to. He'd protected his little sister.
Besides, even though she no longer needed him to drink her piss, Allie still let him lick her small slit whenever they got a moment alone. In fact, she asked him to do it just as often as he asked her if he could. She liked how it made her tingle. And he liked the taste of her, and the feel of her smooth skin on his lips. It gave him tingles down below, too.
And thus began the sibling's sexual encounters with one another. Though neither of them would truly grasp that that's what was happening until they were a little bit older.
Seven and Twelve (2007)
Travie and Allie were at Granny Gerty's once again. It'd been awhile. Once the kids were older, Travie could babysit whenever mom and dad both had to work. The only reason they were here now was because their mom's sister, Aunt Maureen, was moving up from Tennessee. So mom and dad had gone down to help her pack and get everything moved. That meant they were stuck here for two weeks, but trying to make the best of it.
Now that they were older, Granny Gerty would just shove them out the door after a breakfast of bland scrambled eggs and watered down milk, and tell them not to come back till dinner. This was absolutely fine with the kids. Granny may be a witch, but her trailer was surrounded by woods to explore. There was a shallow creek nearby. And even a old, rundown workman's shack and tool shed on the property. Travie was there now, trying to masturbate before Allie found him. But then Allie found him.
"What are you doing, Travie?" Allie said, coming throught the door, shocked. "Oh my God Allie, get outta here!" Travie yelled at her. He quickly grabbed up the shorts that had been down around his ankles. But he was having a hard time. Literally. His penis was sticking straight out and hindering the process.
Allie pointed at it and said, "Geez Trav, what did you do to your penis?!" (Trav had taught her all the real words for genitals the previous year, because he said hooha and peepee were dumb baby words.) Travis had his shorts up now and was fighting to push his penis back into them. "I didn't do nothin' to it," he mumbled. "It does it to itself." He sounded quite upset. "What do you mean?" Allie asked, head tilting for a better look.
He heard her tone change, and groaned. She was now in 'Concerned for My Big Brother' mode. As much as Travis protected her, Allie protected him too. Years of his example had taught her how. And you didn't want to mess with Travie if Allie was around. She was damn near feral. And the kicker? Allie was always around.
But that was kinda the problem lately. Travis loved having Allie around. He really did. But things were happening to him now. Things he needed to 'take care of'. Things she shouldn't know about. And now here she was, knowing about them. "Well, no turning back now," he thought.
He let his shorts fall back down. Allie stared at his penis, like she was analyzing a bug or something. "Geez, Trav, does it hurt?" she asked leaning in, and reached out with a finger to poke it. He slapped her hand away. "Hey! Cut that out!" he said. Undeterred, her visual scrutiny continued.
"And no. Doesn't hurt. Well, maybe. Kinda? Sometimes. God, Allie I don't know!" He sounded very frustrated. "Sometimes?! This has happened before?" she asked, her pitch rising. "Yeah. Quite a few times, actually," he mumbled again. "And I'm just now hearing about it?!" she chided. Now she was in 'Stern Mama Allie' mode. "You shouldn't know about it at all!" Travie said, exasperated.
Allie paid him no mind. "This," she said matter-of-factly, "is a 'Problem'." Travis groaned again. He'd told Allie a long time ago that whenever a 'Problem' came up, they'd figure out a solution together. No matter what. Because they were 'Problem Solvers', he'd said, and there wasn't anything they couldn't fix if they worked together.
"We have to think of a solution," she said, tilting her head the opposite way to get a different angle. "Allie, oh my God! No we don't, cause I have a solution!" Travis cried. "Well it doesn't look like it!" she said condescendingly, and managed a poke before he could swat her away again. "Hey, I said stop that!" Allie just stuck out her tongue and blew him a raspberry.
"I do have a solution. I was in the middle of it when you barged in!" Trav explained. "Oh," Allie said, and looked at Travie sheepishly. "Um, oops? I'm sorry, Travie," she said quiety. "It's ok," he said, looking miserably at his erect penis. "The 'solution' wasn't working this time anyways."
"Why? What's wrong with the solution?" Allie asked, still curious about the whole affair. "Well, usually if I rub it really hard and fast, it'll go away after a bit. But sometimes," he said, looking at his penis like a misbehaving child, "I need lotion to help. Don't suppose you have any on ya?" he asked, but he wasn't overly hopeful.
Allie shook her head. Thinking the whole thing over she asked, "Does it have to be lotion? Or will anything slippery work?" "I mean, I've used soap in the shower before, so anything slippery should do," Trav admitted. "Hmm. Something slippery, something slippery...," Allie muttered, thinking. Travie was rubbing his penis again, but only half-heartedly. He knew it was pointless without some lubrication.
Allie saw the frustration and, was that sadness? Yes, sadness on his face. His own body was doing this to him, and he currently could do nothing about it. But was there anything she could do? Allie thought she might have a solution. "Would spit work?" she asked. "Like, if we both spit on it, would that work?" "I don't know," Travie admitted. He was almost frustrated to the point of real anger. "Hell, let's give it a shot," he shrugged.
Travie held his penis in his hand, tilted his head down, and spit on it. Allie leaned in and did the same. Travie started to rub again. Allie looked on, both fascinated and curious. She asked Travie, "Why does your body do this?" "Puberty," he sighed, rubbing hard.
"It'll happen to you too," he said through clenched teeth. "'Cept you'll get tits and a period." He rubbed more, to no avail. Allie nodded solemnly. Mom had told her all about periods last year when Allie had walked in on her changing out a tampon. It didn't sound fun.
"This isn't working either Allie. I mean, it was working, but I couldn't cum before the spit dried up," he sounded defeated. "Cum?" Allie looked at Travie with confusion. "Cum where? You got someplace to be?" This genuinely made Travie laugh. Then he explained to her about cum and 'cumming' as he'd heard it from Billy Sage. Billy was three years older than Travie and had been masturbating for a long time now. When she asked why there was cum, he explained that to her too, much to her horror.
"That's how you make a baby?!" she yelled. "Yup," he said, and spit on his penis again. They'd both been taking turns spitting on it during the whole converstion. Travie said, "I keep getting really close to cumming, but the spit dries up before I can!" Genuine frustration. Allie hated seeing him like this. She looked at his poor stiff penis. Travie had been rubbing so hard that it was starting to get red and raw. Allie desperately wanted to help her struggling brother. Then she had another idea.
"So, the problem is the spit isn't staying slippery long enough, right? Well, what if the spit didn't dry up? Could you cum then?" she questioned. "More'n likely, yeah," was the boy's reply. "But how you gonna keep spit from drying up?" "Look, just tell me when you're gonna cum so I can be ready for it," she said as nonchalant as talking about the weather. "What're you talking ab-" Travie's words cut off quickly as Allie bent down and put her mouth around his penis.
"Allie! Jesus!" Travie swore, at a loss for words. Allie, however, wasn't. She took him out of her mouth long enough to say, "You lick me all the time, whenever I ask! I'm just returning the favor. Now hurry up or we'll be late for dinner. You don't wanna get yelled at and still have a hard penis too, do you?" Then, pop. Right back into her mouth. There was no use in trying to argue. She had a point. He did still lick her whenever they could get away with it. And she was right, they were running out of time.
Travie started moving his hips, using his sister's mouth like he'd use his own hand. It was quite a new experience. Her lips pulled at the skin on his hard penis, her tongue exploring along its length, her saliva providing lube. "Allie, I'm gonna cum soon!" he half whispered, half hissed. Allie just said, "Mm-hmm," around a mouthful of her brother's penis.
The vibrations from those two little syllables was enough to send Travie over the threshold. He came quickly, and Allie squealed and flinched back, letting his penis shoot cum all over the floor. She thought she'd been ready, but she was wrong. What little bit of cum that did get in her mouth was warm, gooey, and salty. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about it. Maybe another taste later....
Travie pulled up his shorts. He was breathing heavy, but the smile on his face spoke volumes. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He scooped his sister up and whirled her around, making Allie giggle. "Now let's get going so we don't get our eardrums busted by that bellowing witch," he said, feeling so much better.
For the remainder of their time at Granny's, the two would sneak off two or three, sometimes even four, times a day to the shed. Allie would do her due diligence as a loving little sister, and let her big brother cum in her mouth. She'd decided that the taste and texture weren't that bad after all, and had quickly become accustomed to it.
Plus, she was more than happy to help, since Travie would lick her little pussy for her whenever she was done. It made her feel really good and tingly all over. Travie told her that when she got all tingly like that and shook all over, that was how girls came. She assumed, and quite correctly, that it must be a similar sensation for Travie. So in Allie's mind, it just made sense to do these things for each other.
What brother and sister wouldn't want to make each other feel good?
Interim (2008-2009)
They took what they learned about each other, with each other, back home with them from Granny's. And for a while, the two got each other off using only their mouths. But as they got older still, they learned how to use their hands as well. Soon it wasn't just blowjobs and pussy eating, but handjobs and finger fucking as well.
As far as either of them were concerned, all this was no big deal. They were just a brother and sister helping each other out, making each other feel good. The fact that other siblings didn't do the same didn't matter. They knew what they were doing wasn't considered 'normal', though, and were smart enough to keep their activities to themselves.
But it all felt normal to them, and they had no shame or embarrassment about what they got up to when left alone together. In fact, they looked forward to every moment alone they could get. They'd helped each other through puberty, and taught each other about the bodies of the opposite sex. (Not that either of them had attempted, or even wanted, to try anything with anyone else other than each other.)
They didn't realize it at the time, and maybe they never would. But they'd imprinted their love maps onto one another. And neither had any intentions of ever giving anyone else a chance. They belonged to each other, they just weren't fully aware of it yet.
Ten and Fifteen (2010)
When Granny Gerty died, everyone all pretended to be upset for the sake of one another, including their father. None of them wanted to admit that they really weren't that sad about it. In fact, it was very hard for Allie to not go around being happy about it. Travis felt the same, though he did hide it better.
Her funeral felt like taking care of some weird errand that needed to be done and gotten out of the way, and then forgotten about. Just some chore to push through so they could get on with the rest of their day.
After they'd gotten back home from the funeral, Travis pulled Allie aside. "Hey, wanna talk to ya for a sec," he said. "Ok, what about?" Allie said cheerily, her grandmother's death already forgotten. "I just wanted to tell you," Travis said, then froze up. He looked a little embarrassed, and figeted for a minute. Then Allie said, "Yes? You wanted to tell me....?"
Travis cleared his throat, looked around nervously, and continued, "I just wanted to tell you, I'm glad Granny treated us the way she did. If she hadn't, then maybe we wouldn't be so, you know, close," he finished. Allie was confused at first, because they'd always been close. But then she got his meaning.
"Oh!" she said, surprised. "Yeah. I mean, I guess. If there's anything good that came outta having to deal with that old witch, that'd be it." She smiled at Travis. She could tell he was just trying to be sweet. "Sooooo," she said, giving him a mischievous grin. "Wanna go play in my room? We could pretend we're at Granny's.'"
Travis grinned back. "Yeah? You wanna pretend to be back at that dump?" Allie giggled. "At least let me show ya what I have in mind," she said in a mock whisper. "Hmm, show me, huh?" Travis played along. Allie grabbed his hand and shoved it under her dress. She was already sticky through her panties. Travis grinned wide.
"Ok, well, let's go before we get caught," he warned, looking around to make sure mom or dad hadn't seen. "C'mon then, silly!" Allie said excitedly. She pawed at Travis' crotch, grabbed him by his erection, and pulled him down the hall to her room.
As soon as her door was shut, Allie lifted her dress and yanked off her panties. "Ugh," she muttered, and tossed them into her hamper. Travis said, "C'mon, lay down." Allie hopped onto her bed and did as instructed. Travis immediately put his head under her dress.
He began to use his tongue on her small clit, lapping at it like a cat, while sliding a finger in and out of her tight little hole. Allie giggled, then sighed, then huffed as Travis worked her through the stages of her orgasm. Her small frame shuddered. "Travie, that was...." she began, but couldn't finish. "Yeah. I really liked it too, Allie," he said truthfully.
She beamed down at him, then hopped up. "Your turn, Travie," she whispered, and bit her lip as she watched him pull his penis out over the top of his pants. It had been getting a bit bigger recently, and the whole thing amazed Allie to no end.
"I'm pretty close already, Allie," Travis admitted. "So it shouldn't take too long." Allie pouted, but understood they needed to be quick. She kneeled in front of him, and began sucking immediately. Normally she'd like to play a bit first, but sadly now was not the time. Travis hadn't been lying. She'd only been sucking maybe a minute, two at most, before his legs stiffened up.
Travis grunted quietly, and came hard into his sister's little mouth. Allie swallowed it all in two big gulps, then grinned up at him. "Damn, Travie! That was so good! We really gotta start doing this more often," she giggled. "Yeah. And with more time so we can really get in to it," he said excitedly. "That's kinda hard to do, huh?" Allie said. "Yeah. But we'll figure it out. Too bad there's no more going to Granny's. Heh, maybe I am sad that witch is dead," Travis said jokingly, and Allie laughed.
Eleven and Sixteen (2011)
"Travis! Get up! Get your sister! We gotta go! Now!" Jeannie yelled, bursting into his room and scaring the living shit out of him. He sprang up, grabbed his pants and a shirt, and threw them on as he ran into Allie's room. "Allie, get up! Something's wrong!"
"Huh? What? What's wrong?" she asked, blinking herself awake. "Dunno yet, but mom is frantic. Like, bad," he said. She heard the tremor in his voice and snapped fully awake. She jumped out of bed, grabbing clothes just as Travis had on their way out.
In the living room, their mother paced, waiting on them. "What's..." Travis began, but Jeannie broke in. "Come on, we gotta GO! I'll explain in the car!" The three ran outside and got into Jeannie's car, which was still running in the driveway.
She was still in her waitress uniform, and Travis realized she should still be at work. Jeannie swung wide backing out of the driveway, threw it in drive, and punched it. "Mom! What's going on?" Travis practically yelled. "It's dad," she said, her voice trembling. "He's in the hospital. He's been shot!"
Allie stopped struggling to put on her pants in the back seat and sat up. "What? How? Wasn't he at work?" "I don't know yet, baby. They think he was mugged while on his smoke break," Jeannie said. Something in her voice told Travis that wasn't quite all to the story, but didn't say anything. "Oh my God!" Allie cried. "Is he gonna be ok?"
"Allie, I don't know, dammit!" Jeannie yelled. She saw her daughter's terrified face in the rearview, and said, "I'm sorry, honey. I don't know anything yet. I don't know if he was just grazed or if they shot him a bunch or anything. They just called the diner, said he'd been shot, and that we'd better get down there."
"That's not good, then," Travis thought. "They wouldn't have asked her to go home and grab us and get to the hospital ASAP if things were gonna be ok." He glanced back at Allie. She was pale as a ghost, and visibly shaking. He was sure she'd just come to the same conclusion.
His mother may not have known how bad it was, but he knew that she knew it was bad enough. "Fuck," Travis thought. "We're about to lose dad." The thought was too unbelievable to make him sad. He just sat there, dumbfounded, as his mother raced through red lights and his sister struggled to get dressed.
They didn't make it in time. When they all came bursting through the ER, the doctor came out to greet them, shaking his head. Jeannie hit the floor sobbing. Allie, still in shock over all of it, just kept asking, "What? What's wrong? What does that mean?" to both Travis and the doctor. Travis just stood there, frozen, his mind reeling.
His thoughts were broken when he heard a commotion behind him. Some woman was wailing loudly, as a man swore at her. He looked like he'd been in a fight, and was being lead away in handcuffs by two cops. All Travis caught was: "I'll kill you too, if I ever get out, your cheating bitch!" The woman wailed out sorry after sorry, but the man still called her everything but a white girl.
Then Travis knew. He knew what must've really happened. Why his mother had lied about a mugging. His mother. Shit. He spun around to take care of his family. Allie had begun shrieking at the doctor, incomprehensible question after question. Jeannie bawled on the floor, begging whatever god there was to make it not so.
Travis went to Allie first. He knew mom would take more effort than he had right now. "Allie! Come on! Come here!" he yelled over the din. She perked up at his voice. Her rock. Her anchor to sanity. She went to him and threw herself into his arms, sobbing. He held her for several minutes, as hospital staff got his mother into a wheelchair and sedated her.
Travis was greatly relieved when about that time Aunt Mo walked in and rushed over. Travis told her what he knew, and also what he suspected, Allie still clutched in his arms. After hearing what Travis had to say, Allie stiffened up and said, "What?! Are you saying he was out fucking around?! That's what got him killed?!"
Jeannie, slurring from the wheelchair and doped to the point of honesty, said, "Yup. Thass ezacly wha happened. Her ole man caught 'em. Shot your daddy. Wass gonna kill 'er too, but cops got dere afore he could." Allie wiped her snot and tears off on the back of her sleeve. She was already seething mad, her sadness but a vague memory.
It was going to be a long night. Hell, it was gonna be a long night for the foreseeable future. Aunt Mo helped Travis get his mother into the car. He tried to make Allie go with them, but she refused. "I need to talk to the doctor, Allie," he said. "Alone." "The hell you do," she said. "I'm not going any damn where. I wanna hear for myself, same as you." Travis sighed and relented. This wasn't any time to argue.
They spoke to the doctor. They spoke with some nurses. The cops that arrested the other man came back, and they spoke with them. Travis called a funeral home to set up a time to speak with them. And through it all, Allie fumed. "Not an unsurprising emotion coming from her," he thought. "But not necessarily out of place for this situation, either."
The next few days where a whirlwind. Travis barely remembered half of it. He was pretty sure Aunt Mo had taken charge on more things than she let on, God bless her. He'd been able to speak with Allie only briefly during all of it, and knew her anger was getting worse the closer the funeral got.
He was finally able to corner her and ask, "How you doing, kiddo?" She scoffed. "I'm peachy fucking keen. It's the rest of you assholes that are all bent out of shape," she spat. "The fact that mom is still moping around is ridiculous. Why isn't she pissed off? Hell, she oughta be down at the jailhouse singing Tim's praises. He did her a goddamn favor, if ya ask me."
Travis looked sternly at his sister. "Allie, I get it. I do. But don't you dare say any of that around mom!" "It's ok, Trav," their mother said quietly from behind them. They both jumped. "Allie's right. I should be mad. And I am, a little. Just, more sad than mad. Excuse me," she said and pushed past them. "Fucking hell," Travis swore. "More like, fucking whatever," Allie sneered, and stomped off.
The day of the funeral, Travis went to Allie's room. He wanted to make sure she was getting dressed. She'd been adamant she wasn't going to attend, and Travis was going to make sure she did. Because he knew if she didn't, she'd regret it forever. He was mildly surprised to see her almost ready, and was taken aback by how beautiful she looked in that black dress.
"Hey. We need to get going soon," he said quietly. "Yeah. Duh. Working on it," she said, gesturing to her dress as she dug around for her good dress shoes. "Allie," Travis sighed. "You've hardly said anything to me for days. I didn't do this. So let me in. Tell me what's going on in your head, kiddo." Allie stopped her search and turned to face him.
"You know what's bothered me the most about this, Trav?" she asked. Travis shook his head no, not wanting to speak, to interrupt her now that she was opening up. "How long? How long has this affair been going on? Because all signs point to fucking forever, right? Years, easily. Right?" Travis nodded. The more info that they had gotten, the worse the whole thing became. Apparently their father had been sleeping around with this woman for a long, long time.
"And we were just shipped off to Granny's every time a 'shift' overlapped with mom's, weren't we?" Travis nodded again, then scrunched up his face. Where was she going with this? What did Granny have to do with any of this? "Allie, what...?" he began, but she cut him off with a bombshell revelation.
"Who knows how many times we had to stay with that witch just so dad could go fuck around," Allie said heatedly. "What?" Travis asked, genuinely confused. Allie sighed. "Think about it, Trav. When else would he have had the time? He'd hafta pretend to have a shift when he really didn't."
"That's the only way he coulda gotten away with it for so long, especially when we were younger. Till we were old enough to watch ourselves, at least," she finished. But then quickly added, "Not that we weren't already watching ourselves over there at her house."
Travis just looked at her dumbfounded. That hadn't yet occured to him. "Fuck," he said, his voice low. "Yeah, fuck. That's exactly what he was doin'. To her, to mom, to us. Only he was fucking her for real, and just fucking us over," she spat, still agitated. "While he was out getting his rocks off, his wife was at work. And his daughter was pissing in his son's mouth to avoid the wrath of his equally selfish mother," she continued.
Travis winced. "Damn if she ain't right, though," he thought. "Christ, Allie," was all he could manage. "Yeah," she muttered, and dug around some more for her shoes. Allie had just finished getting ready when Aunt Mo knocked on the bedroom door. "You two ready to go?" she asked, her voice tinged with worry.
Allie yanked the door open so fast Aunt Mo let out a small yip. "Yeah," she said, pushing past her aunt. "Let's get this bullshit over with." She stomped down the hall, scowling. She didn't even look up at her mother on her way out to go wait in the car.
Travis drove, his mother riding shotgun. Aunt Mo and Allie sat in the back. Allie sat behind Travis so she could glare at him in the rearview. It was the quietest, most intense car ride any of them had ever had. When they pulled into the funeral home parking lot, Jeannie's quiet weeping escalated into full blown sobs. The reality of it hitting her all over again.
Travis let his mother and aunt out at the front door, and then went to park. "Come on," he said softly, opening Allie's door. "I'm good," she snapped. Travis sighed. She was being selfish again, thinking only of herself. But he knew in this instance, she had every right to be. She was allowed to feel however she wanted to about this. So Travis made concessions where needed.
"Ok," he said. "Just, please...come in soon, ok? For mom. I know you think she should be as furious at him as you are. But she ain't, ok? She's just plain sad. So fuck him. Who cares about him? Just be there for her, ok?" Allie looked up at him, perturbed.
She wasn't quite feeling ashamed, but she was feeling the teensiest bit sorry about how she'd been acting. She sighed heavily and held her hand out. Travis took it and helped her out of the car. And then the Swanson kids walked into their father's funeral, hand in hand.
The service was your standard, cookie cutter sermon, delivered by a preacher who didn't know the family well. Travis had to grab Allie's hand and squeeze more than once whenever she'd roll her eyes at whatever nice thing the preacher was saying about their father. He was a good man, a hard worker. No mention of him being a good husband, of course. But even a hand squeeze couldn't keep Allie from scoffing at the mention of him being a doting father.
After the service, everyone loaded up and headed to the gravesite for the burial. Travis had decided on the way there to just focus on his mother and leave Allie to her own devices. If she wanted to be angry, he wouldn't try to stop her. "She should be able to grieve however she wants, just like the rest of us," he thought.
Allie stood far back from the grave at the burial. As far away from everyone else as she could. Anyone that stopped to offer their condolences were met with a curt reply or a snide remark.
She was doing her level best to make sure she was avoided at all costs. Because she'd be goddamned if she was gonna let anyone see her cry for that man. And she knew, despite it all, she would cry. How could she not? Bastard that he was, he was still her dad.
The ride back home was just as quiet as the ride there, but tension had been replaced with exhaustion. After they arrived, everyone quietly went their separate ways. Aunt Mo left to go to her own house. Jeannie went to her bedroom to take turns crying and sleeping. Allie went to her room, and Travis to his.
He wasn't sure how long he'd slept, or what time it was. But darkness outside the window told Travis it was late, whatever the time. Still pretty groggy despite the long nap, he went to roll over and go back to sleep. But something was wedged against his back. Travis reached behind himself to discover a curled up Allie, snoring lightly.
"Aw, Allie," he thought, his heart aching to find her there. He slowly maneuvered himself till he was facing her, trying not to wake her, and failing. "Hey," Allie said sleepily, barely opening one eye. "Hey kiddo, just getting comfy," Travis whispered. "Go back to sleep." "Mm? 'Kay, Travie," she mumbled and snuggled in closer.
She threw her arm across his chest and laid her head on his shoulder. "You're killing me, kiddo," he thought, his heart reaching out to her. He kissed her lightly on her curls and nuzzled her cheek. And soon they were both snoring.
Twelve and Seventeen (2012)
They were walking up the breakfast aisle of the grocery store. Jeannie was asking Allie what kind of cereal she wanted, but Allie never heard her. The rage had hit her pretty quickly, and all that was in her ears was her own heartbeat, thick and pounding.
"You. Fucking. WHORE!" Allie yelled, each word louder than the last. Travis spun around in time to see Allie spring forward, hands hooked into claws. She was like a bolt of lightning. Travis' only saving grace was that his legs were longer. He made it to her in three strides, deftly wrapped an arm around her waist and hoisted her up over his shoulder.
She screeched like a banshee and pummeled his back with her fists. She was thrashing about, desperate to break free, all the while shooting daggers with her eyes at the other woman. No, literally. The other woman. The one their father had been fucking.
Jeannie saw her too, then, and began shaking as her own anger began roiling up. "Ma," Travis said, low but clear. He was still wrestling the wildcat on his shoulder. "Ma, don't," he said. It was as much a plea as it was a command. His mother glared at Cindy a moment longer, but then looked at Travis and gave a quick nod. They both turned, cart abandoned, and headed toward the door.
Allie howled and spat curses the whole way out to the parking lot. The other customers stared, wide eyed. Everyone in town knew what had happened. Knew who all was involved. And Allie's anger had a reputation all its own. Honestly, it was a wonder that their paths had taken this long to cross. What wasn't a wonder was Allie's reaction when they finally did.
As they made their way to the truck, Cindy ran out behind them, clearly looking as if she felt she needed to say something. But as she approched, Travis, never breaking his stride and still struggling with his feral sister, shot her a look and said, "Get bent, whore." Cindy stopped in her tracks, her face contorted. She looked as if she might cry. A small, proud smile crossed Jeannie's lips as she helped Travis stuff Allie into the back seat.
"Why in the fuck did you stop me?!" Allie swore at Travis as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward home. "Oh, I don't know," he replied, exasperated. "Maybe because this family has enough on it's plate right now without you adding an assault charge to the mix," he snapped.
Allie huffed and crossed her arms, pouting. It reminded Travis of tantrums of old when they were younger, and he had to hide a smile despite his frustration. Allie sat in the back, fuming. Mostly because she knew Trav was right. "Goddammit," she thought. "Just once I wish could he be wrong about somethin'."
By the time they got home, most of Allie's anger had subsided. At any rate, she'd decided Travis hadn't really deserved the brunt of her hostility. After they all got inside, before she stomped off down the hall to her room, she looked at her brother and quietly said, "Thank you. For stopping me." Travis raised his eyebrows in shock as she slammed her door. "Was not expecting that," he said.
Jeannie just looked at him sadly and said, "She does love you, ya know? She just doesn't know how to show it sometimes." Travis smirked a bit. "Oh, she has her ways," he thought. "But she's finally old enough to realize that you keep her from self destructing because you love her," she continued. "Yeah, I guess so," Travis shrugged.
Then he gave a mischievous grin. "You know, under any other circumstances, I'd have let that play out back there." "Truth be told, Trav," Jeannie said with a grin of her own, "I probably would've too." "She'd have killed her," Travis chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, most definitely," their mother confirmed, and laughed. It was good to hear that again, his mother's laughter. From down the hall, his brooding sister thought so too.