Waking up the next morning was different than any other morning. Today I woke up and my first thought was to whether I had dreamt the events of last night. This certainly wasn't my bed and this certainly wasn't my bedroom. I looked over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was 7:30 in the morning. Outside, the first rays of sunlight were peering through the curtains. But more importantly, I saw a pair of pink panties on the floor. I could see some other items of clothing strewn on the floor from where I laid. I smiled, it wasn't a dream. I turned over in bed and to see Bianca lying naked beside me. She laid on her back as she slept, a serene expression on her face, her hair a tangled mess, the sheets draped across only the lower half of her body, one long naked leg out of the covers, her breasts rising and falling alluringly with every breath she took.
I watched her sleep for a long time. I smiled as she unconsciously moved her hand up to her left breast and rubbed her nipple slightly in her sleep. I slowly and gently moved my hand to cup her breast. Once more, Bianca's hand instinctively moved to her breast, this time she touched my hand instead. Beneath my hand, I could feel the warmth from her breasts, and above I could feel her hand against mine. Her slender fingers interlocking with my own. With a simple touch and gentle squeeze of her firm and ample breast, the memories from last night flooded back to me. We had made love in the dark, so to see her body so clearly in the morning light was still a new experience. But the touch felt the same.
As I lay on my side facing her, I continued my visual exploration of her body. All those sexy curves which the sheets didn't do much to hide were revealed to me. I moved my hand from one breast onto the other. My hand lingered there for several moments, gently brushing her nipple with my thumb before I moved to nestle may hand in between her breasts. Whereas the skin all over her body was cool, in between her breasts, it was anything but. I stopped for a moment just to think about things for a second.
Two week ago, this scene right here, would've seemed like an impossibility. Hell, the odds of me and her in the same room would've seemed remote two weeks ago. But here we were. I think in the back of my mind, I've been waiting for this for a long long time. Not that I ever would've admitted to it. But now that we're both here, in bed, and obviously not "just friends", I wanted the whole world to know. She was mine. I couldn't help but think to myself, how the fuck did this happen. Actually, I know exactly how it happened. Three years of close friendship, all the while mild flirty started to creep in. One year of zero contact. And then the events of the three days. Just three days and everything between us changed. These three days...
***
THREE DAYS AGO
Here was a familiar feeling I thought as I stared blankly at my phone, just waiting for a reply text. She normally doesn't reply promptly. Actually, Bianca never replies promptly. I don't know why today would be any exception, but I continued to sit there and stare.
Perhaps some context would help. Bianca, my closest high school friend, now finds herself in the category of people who I would list as having fallen out of touch with. I like to think of myself as an island, not a very social person, stay in on a Friday night type of guy, but Bianca was the one person girl I was always willing to change for. At first I just figured that with her, I had reached a new level of platonic friendship that I had never reached with anyone else. But of course, typically, it took me until high school was over and University started that I finally realised I had true feelings for her. For any other person this wouldn't be much of a problem. But I relied on school to maintain my friendships. The consistency, the institutionalisation, the thought that day after day you will keep seeing these people. And if you're lucky, it's people you like. It's a wonderful institution, school is. You come there to learn but only a mere 4 years afterwards, you can barely recall any of the mathematics or English literature but what you do remember is the people. For me, it wasn't plural, it was singular, it was Bianca.
But university is a different beast, it seems the same, go to a building, study, meet people, go home. But it's different. Less hours for starters, a lot more people in your lectures and tutorials, you never seem to have the same people in your class one semester as you did the last. It's harder to build friendships in an environment like this, and furthermore, your hours spent studying seems to be tenfold that of high school. Doesn't leave much time for old friends.
So that's what happened with Bianca and I. Notwithstanding the fact I was a social cripple a lot of the times, studying really took up all our time. In the end, we started to fall out of touch. Actually, we had fallen out of touch. Only yesterday did realise that I hadn't seen her in almost a year. I couldn't really recall when our last meeting was. I think we when we bumped into each other in a coffee shop. I don't remember what we talked about; I just know it was so long ago. But I do remember our friendship slowly declining since high school.
So here I was, a year later, sending her a message in the vain hope that she would reply and we'd go out and get lunch some day. All the while I tried to recall old times, and was thinking what I should do about these feelings of mine should she come back into my life again in a big way. I don't know why I'm waiting here hoping the phone will start vibrating. She never replies that quickly. If anything, I shouldn't expect a message for another 3-
And suddenly the phone burst to life. I picked it up immediately, opened the message. And lo and behold, it was from Bianca. It read:
"Hey Nate, so gr8 2 here from u. I'm sry but I cant do thursday, I hav a lecture on @ that time-
My heart sank. I wasn't surprised. I had gotten this message and variations of it many times. She could never fit me into her schedule. But then I saw there was more to the message. I half heartedly scrolled down not expecting much.
"-but wat r u doing now? I can use a study break."
Needless to say, I stood up in the middle of my lecture and got the hell out of there quietly.
***
It's a strange feeling meeting up with someone who you hadn't seen in over 12 months. You wonder if the familiarity is still there; the friendliness and the warmth. And then you wonder why you hadn't heard from each other in so long. It couldn't just have been because we've been too busy with university. The summer and semester breaks are more than ample. I began to wonder if it was something I had said. This is of course how my brain usually is. Full of paranoia and self assessment.
Then she walked in the door. In a café full of elderly people and high school students skipping class, she stood out very brightly. I had forgotten how beautiful she looked. Her hair was still at shoulder length; dark and wavy as ever. She looked slightly slimmer than I remembered but still retained that bell curve shaped body. Had she been working out? I could swear her breasts were larger. Not huge, just the normal size breasts for a girl her size and age. She always did have a bit of a flat chest. Maybe it was just the shirt that accentuated that particular feature today. Or maybe I should wave her over to the table instead of staring at her breasts. And that's exactly what I did. She came over, smiled and moved to sit down. Should I have hugged her, I thought to myself. We were always close but never really showed it through hugs and cheek kisses. She took her seat opposite me and casually said,
'Hey Nate.'
'I'm not one for clichés but you don't call, you don't write,' I said jokingly.
'It's horrible I know. How long ago since we last saw each other?'
'10 and a half months but who's counting,' I said dryly.
'You should've called sooner.'
'I did. You didn't respond.'
She covered her mouth with her hand and said, 'Crap! I'm so sorry. I remember that text message you sent me now. I meant to reply to it but, well, you know me.'
I laughed. 'Don't apologise. It's no ones fault. The important thing is that you're here now. Coffee?' I asked gesturing to the front counter.
Bianca stared outside for a moment and then back at me. 'Are you kidding? It's sweltering outside. I had to stop by my gym about an hour ago just to take another shower.'
'So...that's a no on the coffee then?'
She laughed and finally sat back in her chair and relaxed. 'Alright, I'll admit it. I've missed you. And I don't say that to many people, least of all, guys. So you're extra lucky.'
I smiled. 'What would Jonathan think if he heard that?'
She stopped smiling briefly before saying. 'John and I broke a while ago.'
'Oh I'm sorry,' I said instinctively.
To my surprised Bianca giggled and said, 'You're so full of shit.'
'What? I always liked John.'
Bianca scoffed. 'No you didn't. You never liked him. And you especially didn't like us together.'
'Says who?' I protested.
'You did,' she chuckled. 'After we broke up shortly after high school.'
She just shook her head and we both laughed. We just looked at each other smiling. It seemed as if we couldn't keep our eyes off of each other.
I laughed, 'Fair enough. And I still stand by that. Fact of the matter is, I only liked him because he made you happy. But then again, a lot of better guys could also do the same.'
Bianca averted her gaze and I think for a moment, she smiled. 'So, she says, changing the subject. In the year since I last saw you, anyone special pop into your life. Are you seeing a special someone?' she asked.
'Bianca, it's me we're talking about here. I get obsessed with girls and just end up doing nothing but lurking their Facebook page.'
'Like you did with Jane back in high school.'
I smiled. 'Actually, I stalked her Myspace page in high school.'
We both smiled and continued to look at each other. Neither of us said anything for about 30 seconds. We were probably the only people at a table in the café who weren't talking. I think in those seconds, our minds just went back to high school as we remembered old times. Well, my mind did anyway. The whole time though, I was still looking right into her eyes. They're blue, I never knew she had blue eyes. Finally I broke the silence.
'I sometimes forget how much we told each other.'
'Am I still the only person to know about your infamous high school crush on Jane?'
'You were the first. But no, a few other people know about it now. Even Jane knows now that I had a crush on her now.'
'She does? How did that happen?
'Yeah, we kinda had a short little thing. And no one knows about that except me and her.'
'Really? You and Jane for real?! I'm flattered you told me that. I don't understand why you did but I'm flattered,' she said.
I leaned forward. She took that as a signal to sit up straight. I started slowly. 'We were the closest of friends in year 12. Told each other secrets and confided in each other and all that crap. But after high school, I don't know, we kinda lost something. Can't blame a guy for wanting to get it back.'
'I don't think we lost anything. In fact, out of all my high school friends, I probably see you most often.'
'Me?! I haven't seen you in almost a year,' I paused for a moment before saying.
She shrugged, 'Even so. '
I sat back in my chair, somewhat happy with this revelation. I looked at Bianca who seemed unsure of something. I was about to prompt her when she asked me,
'So you and Jane huh? Is it over?' she said obviously choosing her words carefully.
'Yeah, it was over pretty quickly.'
'What happened?'
'Well, you chase after a girl for three years and when you catch up with her, you're so exhausted that all you want to do is crash on a bed.'
Bianca had a bemused look on her face. Almost like she didn't quite know whether to feel pity or laugh. Or she might not have known what the hell I was talking about. And so I explained,
'For the record, she was on the bed.'
Bianca nodded slightly. There was silence again. 'The bed is a metaphor for sex,' I explained further.
She burst out laughing, 'Yeah, I figured. It's just a stupid analogy, that's all.'
I laughed, 'In the end, we just weren't right for each other. I think we both knew it from the start. And so we mucked around for a few weeks but we realised in the end, we only ever worked as part time friends. Glorified acquaintances if you will. I think I just liked the idea of being with the most popular girl from high school and she just needed a rebound after a break up.'
'She wasn't the right girl for you huh? Too bad,' she said as big smile spread across her face.
'You seem happy with that.'
I saw Bianca was obviously trying to suppress a smile. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, the smile would come back. She was obviously happy with this news for some reason. I wasn't angry. More amused.
'I'm not smiling,' she said while still trying not to smile. 'It's too bad things didn't work out.'
'Bianca.'
'I'm not smiling Nate. Oh by the way, it's probably a good thing you called me today because I still have your CD back at my place. You gave it to me well over a year ago.'
'Wow, that was a really subtle attempt to change topics there,' I said sarcastically. 'Nevertheless; which CD?'
'The Beatles, The White Album. You gave it to me so long ago I begun to think it was mine. I only remembered it was yours just now.'
'Of course, I was wondering where that was. I forgot I gave it to you. What else of mine do you still have?'
'Apart from a disturbing amount of high school work I copied from you all those years ago, nothing. Anyway, you can swing by my place and pick it up after we're all done here.'
'After we're done here? I thought you had a lecture to go to after this.'
Bianca shrugged. 'You were always telling me I should skip classes. I never did because I never had a good reason. And now I do.'
'And that reason is...?' I asked.
She finally picked up a menu from the table, peered over the top to looked at me and simply said,
'You.'
***
True to her word, Bianca decided to skip her class allowing us to take our time eating lunch before wandering around town aimlessly and giving us more time to talk and reminisce. Of course it took us only one minute to realise how bad an idea this was seeing as how it was ridiculously hot outside. Although in that brief minute or two of walking around, it did allow me to look at her properly. It's funny, we had only really known each other in high school during our senior year, and then the first two years of university but less frequently. Despite this, I was still unaccustomed to seeing her without her old high school uniform. Obviously, the high school uniform was pretty conservative and far from revealing. So it was always a pleasant surprise when I saw her dress as she did today, very simply in loose fitting pink shirt showing off some very mild cleavage and tight shorts. The fact she had obviously worked out and exercised in the year since I last saw her enhanced her beauty more.
But as I mentioned before, we didn't stay out in the sun long and so she offered to take me back to her place to collect my CD. And by "offered to take me back", I of course mean I drove her home.
***
'You know, I think this may be the first time I've ever been to your house,' I said as we walked up the drive way to her house.
'Well, I'm not in the business of taking boys home to show to my parents.'
'What's the harm? I'm not your boyfriend?'
'But you are a boy, and because of that, the moment you leave, my parents will start interrogating me for information about you. That's just the way they are. Don't want their precious eldest daughter hooking up with some loser without a job or an education,' as she took out her keys and begun to unlock the door.
'So why are you inviting me in now?'
She opened the door and walked inside. And without looking back, she said.
'It's a weekday. Nobody's home. It's just you and me.'
I froze in the doorway for a moment. I didn't quite know what to make of that last remark. Did it mean anything? Once more, as has been the case for so much of our friendship, the line between platonic friends and relationship was beginning to blur. What's wrong with me? She offers to give me back my CD and suddenly I'm imagining fantasies of me and her hooking up and becoming a couple? It was then that it finally dawned on me, I think I'm in love with her. Meeting up with her again today has made me realise how much I've missed her. These feelings have always been here, but only now are they truly on the surface. And now, she's invited me into her empty house and about to lead me into her bedroom. All these thoughts rushed through my head during the 20 or so seconds in took to get from the front door to her bedroom near the back of the house.
When I stepped inside her bedroom, I was surprised by how neat everything was. It wasn't an overly feminine room except for the clothes lying around and the makeup and perfume by her table and on the shelf. The bed was a double at least, furniture seemed quite expensive, random photos were stuck to the mirror on her desk. I walked over to look at them as she rummaged through all the disks around her CD player.
'It's here somewhere. Just hold on a second, I'll find it.'
'Take your time,' I said as I peered at the photo collage she had made next to and around the mirror.
One or two of the people in the photos I recognised from high school, some I had seen from her Facebook page but there were many I didn't recognise. It was then I said to her,
'You know, I don't think we've ever taken a photo together.'
'What?' she said half chuckling.
'It's just that we've known each other a while and I don't have a photo with you.'
She turned around and gave me a quizzical little look. I smiled and said,
'What? I can't act normal and be sentimental?'
'It's not that. It's just that you're always usually so sarcastic and sadistic.'
'Sadistic? Sarcastic yes, but sadistic?! That's a bit harsh,' I laughed.
'And true. I don't think you really listen to how you talk sometimes,' she smiled.
'Ah! Here it is,' she said cheerily as she walked over to me with the CD in hand. 'The Beatles' The White Album, it's yours. Sorry about the very very very late return.'
'Very late. But thanks,' I said.
To be honest I didn't really care about the CD all that much. I was just so focussed on her right up until the second she excused herself to go to the bathroom.
'You have your own bathroom?'
'Yeah, when we first moved into the house, me and my sisters played rock papers scissors to see who would get the bedroom with its own bathroom. I won.'
I laughed and sat down on the bed looking absently at the CD. It seemed to be in good condition. From the bathroom I heard her turn on the faucet. I didn't quite know what was going to happen when she came out. Would we just sit and talk or would I leave or would she surprise me and come out the bathroom in nothing but her lingerie. She didn't by the way. But in the meantime, I looked over to the bathroom and saw the door was slightly ajar. Despite my brain telling me not to look, I couldn't help it. In the basin mirror, I saw her splash water onto her face and neck. A lot of the water slowly trickled down her neck and down to the curves of her breasts. She took a wash cloth and dried her face and neck before soaking up the water on her chest. As she did so, I could see her straighten her shirt and her hair. She quickly adjusted her bra before looking into the mirror. I don't know if she saw me looking at her but I quickly averted my eyes. After several more moments, she came out of the bathroom looking refreshed.
'Sorry. But it's way too hot today. Can I get you any water?'
'No I'm fine.'
We paused and looked at each other. Me sitting at the front of her bed, her leaning against the bathroom door. We were apart by only about five metres. So close yet so far. Neither of us said anything for a moment, we just stared at each other as we had done several times today. Eventually I just blurted out something before it got awkward.
'Uh, you probably have work to do. I should leave you to it.'
She quickly said, 'No Nate, it's fine. You can-'
'-No, it's probably best I leave. Or else I might do something stupid,' I said interrupting her.
'Something stupid?' she asked.
'You know, like...' I said as I trailed off.
Eventually we both just laughed awkwardly and I slowly made my way back to the front door, her close behind me. As I was about to step outside, I turned back to face her and said.
'Bianca.'
'Yes Nate?'
'Don't make me wait another year to see you again. I've actually missed your company. It's been weird not having someone to listen to me whinge about all my shitty problems.'
'Don't you whinge to anyone else apart from me?'
'Nope. Only you.'
'Why? I mean, in the whole scheme of things, I don't haven't known you as long as some other people.'
'I trust you. And I've always been more comfortable talking to you than anyone else for some reason.'
She smiled absently before looking back up at me. 'I'll call you soon. Don't worry.'
I laughed. 'Last time you said that, we fell out of touch for a year.'
'I'm sorry. Won't happen again. I tell you what, how about the movies this weekend?'
'My my, I could never get you come out of the house before and now you're the one offering. I like this new you.'
'So that's a yes?'
'Saturday, we'll go to the cinemas. I'll pick you up.'
'I'm looking forward to it Nate. I'll seeya later,' she said smiling widely.
She slowly walked up to me and to my surprise, she wrapped her arms around my body and neck as she hugged me. Like I said before, we never really showed any physical affection despite our closeness during all those years. It was nice, and somehow strange at the same time. But mainly nice. I stood there for probably 5 seconds before I put my arms around her. Her head was nestled on my shoulder beside my head. Her hair in my face, I could smell that perfume of hers. It was always the smell I associated with her. It was intoxicating. The hug wasn't a quick one, it lingered for several seconds. It lingered for about 10 seconds. More than just a normal goodbye hug between friends I thought to myself.
Slowly, very slowly we both withdrew. Her hands were slow to slip off of my shoulders. My hands were slow to slip off of her back and her waist. Our faces moved away from each others. But as they did, I felt my cheek grazed hers. The perfume was still there, alluring as ever. I couldn't explain my next move, I guess I was just so drawn to her in that moment, I just couldn't help myself. On any other day she might've pushed me away violently, but on this particular day, on this particular day, meeting up a full year since we last saw each other, I moved my lips over to hers and I gently kissed her. I could see her eyes shoot wide open at first. Her soft supple and moist lips, didn't move as I softly planted a kiss on them. As I slowly drew away, expecting the consequences of what I just did, she leaned in and returned the kiss. It was just as gentle as mine. Very soon we were slowly kissing in the door way. Her lips moving with mine. Her tongue, slowly slipping between her lips and into my mouth.
Very slowly, without breaking the kiss, I moved out of the door way and back into the house, closing the door behind me before giving her my full attention again. Figuring I was in it now, I reversed our positions and gently pushed her up against the front door. I finally broke the kiss and looked at her. She was breathing heavily. Her breasts rising and falling seductively. She looked at me with those green eyes of hers. Slowly slipped my hand up her shirt and cupped her right breast through her bra. They were bigger than I had expected, but still couldn't have been much more than a C cup, maybe a D at most. My knowledge of bra sizes is terrible. I could feel her nipple poking through the thin fabric of her bra. I fumbled with the bra clasp for a moment before giving up and roughly pushing her bra out of the way. I could feel her breasts spring free and for the first time, I clutched her naked breast. I gently gave it a squeeze eliciting a soft moan from between Bianca's lips as I continued to kiss her more passionately with every passing moment.
With one hand, I continued to play with her lovely breasts, with my other hand I begun caressing the side of her body, savouring her curves. Eventually, my hand found its way to her waist and from there, her thighs. I slowly wrapped my fingers around the elastic band of her shorts and slowly slipped them down her silky smooth thighs. I broke our kiss and moved both of my hands to her panties and slowly slipped them down her legs too. I moved my hands behind her and grabbed her tight ass. It took her by surprised as she flinched a bit at the contact. Like the rest of her body, her ass was near perfect. She was a slender girl but still maintained a rather fleshy bottom. But I wasn't so much as interested in her ass as I was her vagina which was revealed to me.
I quickly undid my pants with one hand before grabbing both her thighs and hoisting her up off her feet and against the front door. She quickly wrapped her legs around me. I was ready, she was ready, we were both so turned on and so focussed on each other that nothing else mattered in that moment. All that mattered was her arms were around my neck, her naked legs around my waist, only a thin layer of clothing separating her bare breasts from my chest, the scent of her perfume everywhere. I was about to do what we both so dearly wanted in that moment, but like I said, we were so focussed on each other than nothing else seemed to matter. So when we both heard the automatic door to the house's carport open, we both froze.
Bianca jumped off of me and planted her feet to the floor and opened the front door slightly to take a look outside.
'Shit, my parents are home. You have to hide,' she hissed.
'Fuck,' I groaned in frustrated. I quickly did up my pants as Bianca picked her panties and shorts off the floor and hurriedly put them back on.
'Good thing my car's parked across the road. I'll make a run for it. Maybe your parents won't see me.'
'No no, they're already out the door,' she said panicked as we indeed did hear the car doors closing. 'Go to my room, hide in the bathroom. I'll sneak you out after.'
'Fuck,' I muttered again.
I was about to head for her room when I stopped quickly, pulled her to me and kissed her quickly. When I looked at her afterwards, she had a strange expression on her face. One of embarrassment, regret. She wasn't even trying to hide it.
'Go quickly,' she said as she gave me a push in the right direction.
I ran back to her room and into bathroom to hide. I wasn't quite sure what to make of what just happened. We were so close to having sex by the front door when we were rudely interrupted. And now I'm hiding in her bathroom. I waited there for a few minutes as Bianca's parents came into the house and they made small talk. Eventually I decided not to wait and climbed out of the window to her room. Carefully I snuck out of the backyard and ran quickly to my car and off I was. Bianca and I didn't make love that day. But like I said, it was a three day story from meeting her at the café to waking up with her in the morning two days later. And that was only day one.
***
TWO DAYS AGO
I woke up in the morning, the events of the day before still fresh in my mind. In the space of 24 hours, my non-existent love life became very real and very very complicated. But I hadn't woken up on my own accord, next to me on my bedside table, my phone was vibrating. The caller ID was none other than Bianca. I hadn't expected it to be anyone else. Kinda shows where my social life is at. Nonetheless, I grabbed the phone, flipped it open and said in a very groggy and tired voice,
'Hello?'
'Hey, it's me Nate. Did I wake you?' Bianca said softly.
'Yeah but don't worry about it. I should be up already anyway.'
'Oh okay. Listen, I was thinking we could talk about yesterday.'
'Yeah, I figured. Let me just start off by saying that I'm kinda unsure about whether I should be apologising to you or not.'
'No Nate, don't. It wasn't your fault. It was, well, I'm not sure what it was. But I think it shouldn't happen again.'
I didn't respond to that. I didn't know how to. And so I just stayed quiet. For about 10 seconds, I just laid there, listening to her breathing on the other end. Eventually she said,
'You still there?'
'Yeah, sorry. I'm just not sure how I feel about that.'
'I want to go back to being friends. We've always been good friends. Why mess with things?'
'We could be more.'
'Do you really want that?' she asked.
'Yes, I do. Absence makes the heart grow fonder Bianca. And in your long absence from my life, I've grown very fond of you. But cheesy lines aside, that's not the point here. The important point is; what do you want?'
'I told you. I want us to remain friends.'
'There's no changing your mind huh?' I sighed.
'No, probably not.'
'So what do we do?'
I heard her take a deep breath before saying weakly, 'You can either accept friendship, or you can get shot down. I'm sorry if that sounded a little too harsh.'
'Yeah, it kinda was. So you don't feel the same way huh?'
'I don't know. You really haven't told me how you felt.'
'I want us to be together. If we go on being just friends, well, that may just torture me way too much and I may do something incredibly stupid when that happens.'
'Nate, I love you, but just not in that way.'
'Fair enough.'
'Is there anyway we can be friends without you being "tortured" by it.'
I sighed. 'I've gotten over crushes on various girls before. I guess I'll have to get over you then. Shouldn't be that hard. You're not all that charming,' I said once more hiding behind my sarcasm and wit.
On the other end of the line, I heard her chuckle. 'Thanks Nate. I know it'll be hard. But I think it's for the best.'
'Yeah. I guess.'
'Alright, thankyou for making this easy. Really, I mean that.'
'Yeah no problem,' I lied.
There was silence. I just lay there in bed, listening to her breathing on the other line. I didn't know what to say. After a few moments, she said.
'You still there?'
'Yeah, sorry. My mind is elsewhere. There anything else?'
'Yep, just this one thing. I don't know if this would make things too awkward but do you want to tag along with me when I meet up with Marty tomorrow just in case we end up with nothing to talk about.'
'Marty? Wait, who are we talking about.'
'Marty from high school. Marty Faulks.'
'Oh right. I bumped into him a few weeks back too.'
'Anyway, I forgot to bring it up yesterday but I bumped into him and he asked me out for coffee and I said yes. You like Marty don't you?'
'I like him okay. Don't know if I want to see him but if you want me there. What time?'
'8ish I think.'
'That's a bit early isn't it?'
'No no. 8 at night. Pm, not am.'
'8? At night? For coffee? Sound likes a date to me.'
'You think?'
'I know.'
'I'm sure its nothing. Coffee is coffee regardless of the time. Do you still want to come with?'
'I'll think I'll sit this one out.'
'Oh, okay. We're still on for Saturday right.'
'Saturday?'
'The movies. Remember, we made vague plans yesterday.'
'Oh right. Right before we um...' I said before drifting off.
'Yeah, right before that,' I heard her say awkwardly.
'I'll think I'll sit that out too unfortunately. Something came up,' I said as I found myself lying to Bianca again in a matter of minutes.
'Oh really? Just like that?' she said clearly dispirited.
'Just like that. Listen, I have to go. I'll call you, we'll do something later.'
'Promise?'
'Yeah.'
I hung up the phone and lay back down in bed. Women, it's like they're from another planet. I know that's a massive cliché if there ever was one, but it's oddly true. Things are going to be awkward between Bianca and I for a long long time yet. Fuck...
***
YESTERDAY
7:00 pm. I'm at home staring at the clock. I tried not thinking about the fact Bianca was going out with Marty. I spent all of yesterday thinking about it. What made things worst is I tried thinking about what Marty was like in high school and as much as I wanted to hate and despise him for what I viewed as him stealing my girl, I remembered he was a really nice guy. Of course I could be completely wrong and they could just be going for coffee like Bianca and I did only 2 days ago. But in my warped mind, any guy who hangs out with Bianca, it's a date.
Ah paranoia, it's a fascinating thing. In my mind, Bianca's night would go like this. She and Marty go for drinks. They hit it off. They start reminiscing. Suddenly it's just like old times and they're chatting and having a great time. Then they start flirting. As they do so they drink more and more. They go back to his place. They chat and flirt more. He makes his move. They have sex. And suddenly they're a couple and he has the relationship with her that I so dearly wanted. And I spend the entirety of their relationship asking "what if". What if I had gone to Bianca's place and done something about it? Stop her from going on her date. Perhaps win her over or get rejected. Either way, I wasn't just going to sit her looking at the clock and watching Simpsons reruns on TV, no matter how good the episode they're showing just happens to be.
Before I knew it, I was in the car and driving to Bianca's place. Well, more accurately, I spent 15 minutes impeccably doing my hair and choosing what jacket I should wear to win her over. As if she'd be swept off her feet by nice hair and an $80 jacket.
***
I walked up her drive way. With every step I took I grew more nervous. What am I going to say to her? Don't go on this date with Marty because I want a relationship with you instead? But she wants the status quo. What happens now? My train of thought was interrupted when the front door opened and out came Bianca's parents. For some unfathomable reason, I hadn't anticipated their presence. Now I needed to find an excuse to come inside. Oddly enough, this was only the third time I had ever met them.
'Hi, I'm a friend of Bianca's. Is she here?'
'Hey there, Marty is it?' the father said extending a hand.
'No, my name's Nate,' I said shaking his hand.
'Oh good, never did like Marty. Although I do very much like the look of you.'
I laughed nervously as the mother said to me.
'We're actually on our way out but lucky for you, Bianca chose not to come with us tonight. She's up in her room preparing to go out.'
'Great. Where are you off to, if you don't mind me asking?' I asked, attempting to be on my best behaviour.
'Wedding down at the bay. The kids don't know the newly-weds-to-be so we didn't force them to come although Bianca's sisters are going,' replied the mother.
'So it's just Bianca home tonight?' I asked, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.
'Yep. Although I think she's leaving soon,' Bianca's mother said as her dad popped his head back inside the house and shouted.
'Bianca! Your friend Nate is here!'
From the back of the house, Bianca shouted back. 'Send him in!'
'Well, in that case. Have fun you two,' the dad said.
Bianca's two little sisters came out of the house, dressed very fancily in formal clothes. I decided to do the nice thing and waved them off as they got in the car and backed out of the drive way. I turned around and stepped inside the house and closed the door behind me. My eyes lingered over the door, the events of the other day still very vivid. I looked around and didn't see Bianca.
'Bianca, where are you!'
'Sorry, I have my hands full at the moment. Come into my room, make yourself comfortable.'
I walked to her room. I entered slowly, only the bedside lamp was on, a green dress was slung over her chair. She came out of her bathroom dressed in only a black tank top and pink panties. She was obviously just out of the shower, her hair still was dripping wet. It took me by surprise as I instinctively averted my gaze.
'Shit. Sorry, didn't know you were in there.'
'Nate, I think we're a bit beyond that now.'
I looked back at her, trying my best to look her in the eyes and not at her slender legs. She walked over to her chair, a bathrobe hanging off of it. She reached for it, her hands momentarily hovering over the robe, before she took a step back and leaned against the bathroom door, still only in her tank top and panties. We looked at each other as we stood in pretty much the same positions we have the other day, me at the bed, her leaning against the bathroom door, me sitting at the front of the bed. The silence was longer this time. I stared at her, she stared right back. Her top accentuated the curves of her body very well while drops of water dripped down from her hair and onto her neck and then her chest. Coupled together with the dim lighting her lamp provided, and she looked stunning.
'How are you tonight?' I asked.
'I'm good.'
'Not going to the wedding with the family?'
'Nah, it's too much trouble for a couple I've only met once. That and I'm meeting Marty in 40 minutes.'
She didn't seem to be in a particularly talkative mood. This wasn't so strange for her, but at the moment it made things especially tense considering everything.
'Listen, the reason I came over was to talk, face to face, about our thing,' I said eventually.
'So talk.'
'I love you.'
'Oh,' she said as if she was surprised.
'Oh? That's your response.'
'I don't know. I thought we settled this yesterday morning,' she said.
'Not really. You told me what you wanted and I didn't want to fight so I grudgingly agreed.'
'Until now?'
'Well I was probably just too sleepy yesterday morning to come up with a coherent argument about why we should be together.'
She laughed quietly before saying. 'Nate, we're friends. Why would you want to mess with that? What's wrong with what we've been doing since we first met?'
'It's just not enough I suppose. I couldn't stand the thought of us continuing to be "just friends" for a single day. That should tell you how strong my feelings for you are. I didn't see you for almost a year. And when you finally walked through the door of that coffee shop the other day, something happened. Seeing you again made me realise how I felt about you. I was too close to you to get any perspective. But now I have some perspective, and it's made me realise the thing I want most in this world is you.'
'Aw, that's sweet. But-'
'Bianca, enough with the "ifs and buts". I need to know right now if I just ruined a friendship by telling you what I just told you or if our relationship is now moving beyond just friends.'
'I do love you Nate, but just as a good friend. I don't know if there's anything more. Please, can you just give me some time to think about this? Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have to get changed. I don't want to keep Marty waiting.'
'No. You've had more than enough time to think. And I can never get a straight answer out of you without having to do some probing, so come on, let's hear it.'
She sighed and said, 'You know that if we don't work out, we probably won't be friends afterwards. Ex's can't be friends.'
'That won't happen. I believe in our ability to work as a couple.' 'Nate, how old do you think we are? We're both only 21 and you're acting like we can have some grand sweeping timeless romance. And if I recall correctly, neither of us are exactly professionals at relationships. I broke up with John almost solely because my parents didn't approve of him. And you and Jane split because, what was it you said, because you didn't truly love her but just liked the idea of being with her. You set your eyes on a prize and pursued it. How do you know this isn't the same thing?'