Chapter 5: The Iron Skirt and the Domino Effect of Doom part-1
[Request denied. Get some sleep, Host. Tomorrow is team placement day. Imagine the possibilities! Three-man cells! Cramped spaces! Joint training!]
I let out a long, despairing groan.
Tomorrow was going to be a nightmare. I could feel it.
I woke up the next morning with the enthusiasm of a prisoner walking to the gallows. Today was the day. The day of the Team Assignments. The day I would be contractually obligated to spend every waking hour with two other people, likely of the male gender.
I stared at the ceiling of my room, pulling the duvet up to my nose.
(I cannot go. I will fake an illness. I will tell them I have... Chakra Allergy. Is that a thing? It sounds like a thing.)
[Good morning, Host. "Chakra Allergy" is not a recognized medical condition. However, "Chronic Clumsiness" is currently defining your existence. Rise and shine.]
I groaned, rolling out of bed. "System, I have 2,250 Shy Points from yesterday's... disasters. Is there anything I can buy to protect myself? I cannot face Sasuke Uchiha or Naruto Uzumaki without some kind of insurance."
[Opening Shop...]
The blue screen flickered into existence. I ignored the "Romantic Incense" (why does that even exist?) and scrolled straight to the defensive items. My eyes landed on the item I had seen yesterday.
Technique: Iron Skirt Jutsu (Passive)Description: By applying a constant, thin layer of chakra to your clothing, this technique ensures that your skirt will strictly obey the laws of gravity and modesty. It will never flip up, regardless of wind, explosions, or being upside down.Cost: 2,000 Shy Points.
"I will take it!" I practically shouted. "Buy it now!"
[Transaction Complete. Remaining Shy Points: 250. The "Iron Skirt Jutsu" is now active. You may now backflip with confidence, though I do not recommend you try.]
I let out a sigh of relief. This was a game-changer. At least one variable of embarrassment had been removed. I felt a surge of unearned confidence. I dressed quickly, fastening my headband around my neck, and marched out of the Hyuga compound. I even managed to say "Good morning" to Ko without tripping, although he did flinch and cover his waistband when he saw me coming.
............…
The Academy classroom was buzzing with nervous energy. The students were grouped in clusters, speculating on who would be on whose team.
I walked in, clutching my bag. My plan was simple: get to my seat, do not make eye contact, and wait for Iruka Sensei.
"Hey, Hinata!"
My heart seized. It was Naruto. He was waving at me from his desk. Next to him, sitting with his chin resting on his hands and looking bored, was Sasuke Uchiha.
"G-Good morning, Naruto-kun," I whispered, keeping my distance.
I tried to slide past the row of desks to get to my seat in the back. The aisle was narrow. Naruto was leaning back in his chair, rocking on two legs. Sasuke was sitting perfectly still.
(Okay, I have the Iron Skirt. I am invincible. Just walk past them.)
[System Alert: Proximity to Main Characters detected. Calculating trajectory... Calculation complete. Initiating "The Domino Effect."]
(Wait, what is a Domino Effect?!)
As I squeezed past Naruto's desk, the heel of my sandal caught on a loose floorboard. It was the same floorboard from yesterday. I should have remembered it.
"Ah!"
I pitched forward.
My hand shot out to grab something. I grabbed the back of Naruto's chair.
Because Naruto was leaning back, balancing on two legs, my added weight disturbed his equilibrium instantly.
"Whoa!" Naruto yelled.
His chair flipped backward. Naruto's legs kicked up into the air. One of his flailing feet connected squarely with my hip, propelling me forward with increased velocity.
I flew through the air like a missile. My target: Sasuke Uchiha.
Sasuke, sensing danger, turned his head. "What the—"
He did not finish his sentence. I crashed into him.
Unlike the romantic slow-motion falls in shojo manga, this was a violent collision of limbs. Sasuke's chair spun around from the impact. I landed straddling his lap, my chest pressed firmly against his face, my arms wrapped around his neck to stop myself from hitting the floor.
Because of the Iron Skirt Jutsu, my skirt stayed perfectly down, wrapping around his legs like a modest blanket. However, the position was arguably worse. I was essentially giving the class genius a very aggressive, very intimate hug while sitting on him.
Silence. Absolute silence.
Sasuke froze. I could feel his body tense up completely. His nose was buried in the fabric of my jacket.
From the other side of the room, a dark aura began to manifest. It was Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka. Their eyes were glowing red.
"H-H-Hinata..." Sakura growled, her voice sounding like a demon from the depths of hell. "Get... off... Sasuke-kun!"
[Ding!]
[Achievement Unlocked: "The Uchiha Throne." You have successfully claimed the lap of the primary rival.]
[Bonus: You have incited the wrath of the Fan Club. Danger Level: Extreme.]
[Reward: 600 Shy Points.]
I scrambled backward, pushing off Sasuke's chest (which only made things look worse) and fell onto the floor in a heap.
"I am sorry! I tripped! Naruto kicked me! I mean, not on purpose! I am sorry!" I babbled, bowing my head repeatedly while sitting on the floor.
Sasuke adjusted his collar, looking slightly flushed and extremely annoyed. He glared at Naruto, who was currently untangling himself from his chair. "You idiots are annoying."
I crawled—literally crawled on my hands and knees—to my seat in the back row and hid under the desk until Iruka Sensei arrived.
.............
"Alright, settle down!" Iruka shouted, bringing order to the chaos. "I will now announce the squads."
I peeked out from under the desk and climbed into my seat. My face was still burning.
(Please let me be on a safe team. Maybe a team with girls? Is that possible?)
"Team Seven," Iruka announced. "Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno..."