"Back in my era, the shinobi world didn't have nearly this many gay ninja. But after I was brought back with Edo Tensei, everything had changed so much I barely recognized the place anymore."
"From everything Maki and the others have told me these past few days, along with the information I gathered myself, all of these changes seem to trace back to that man named Makoto."
"So… is it possible that he deliberately guided the shinobi world into becoming a paradise for gays? That way, when it comes to beautiful kunoichi, he wouldn't have any competition left."
Pakura voiced her theory with a conflicted expression.
As a celebrated war hero who had once been betrayed and murdered through Rasa's conspiracy, the fact that Pakura had not completely fallen into darkness after her resurrection was already impressive.
That was largely thanks to seeing her disciple Maki almost immediately after returning, along with learning that Rasa, the man responsible for her death, was already dead himself.
Even so, Pakura could never truly return to the person she had once been.
Her instinctive suspicion toward others and tendency to see conspiracies everywhere had become almost impossible to suppress.
"That… actually doesn't sound completely impossible."
Maki immediately supported her teacher.
"Impossible. Absolutely impossible!"
Temari rejected the theory without the slightest hesitation.
"Temari, I know I had a grudge against your father, but your father was the one who had me killed. I didn't kill him.
"I have nothing against you or the current Kazekage, so why are you suddenly opposing me for no reason?"
Pakura frowned.
The conspiracy-theory flavor immediately returned to her voice.
Temari was speechless.
Still, Pakura was right about one thing.
Rasa had been the one who arranged Pakura's death, so Temari could understand why Pakura now had serious problems trusting people.
That was not something that could be fixed overnight.
For many villains, death sometimes brought clarity.
A person might finally understand certain truths when facing the end, and after being revived through Edo Tensei, they could return with a different perspective.
Uchiha Itachi was one example.
It took dying once before he finally understood that he should have trusted other people instead of trying to carry everything alone.
By the same logic, death could also leave a shadow in the heart of someone who had originally been good.
Pakura was exactly that kind of person.
But that did not mean she could casually slander people!
"No reason?"
Temari immediately argued back.
"Pakura, you think turning male shinobi into gay ninja would benefit Makoto because it removes his romantic competition.
"But there's one problem.
"Those guys were never competition for him in the first place.
"And once all those men become gay, have you considered that Makoto himself might become the delicious little treat they all start eyeing?"
Temari's argument was firm and completely confident.
"That's also possible."
Maki nodded again.
This time, she was not merely agreeing with her teacher.
As a representative of the three-woman gossip squad, she had genuinely listened to Temari's reasoning and found it convincing.
"…"
Pakura fell silent.
She genuinely had never considered the situation from that angle.
But after Temari pointed it out…
It actually made sense.
And although the phrase "delicious little treat" sounded harmless enough at first, after repeating it twice in her head, Pakura felt goosebumps rising across her skin.
"It's true, Sensei."
Maki continued earnestly.
"I heard that Sarutobi Asuma, the Third Hokage's son—you know, that bearded middle-aged guy—was targeted by local gay ninja while he was on a mission in the Land of Hot Water."
"Apparently, to those people, even someone like Asuma could count as a cute young thing."
"Think about it, Sensei. If Sarutobi Asuma was already that popular, then if gay ninja ever saw Makoto, wouldn't he really become their 'delicious little treat'?"
Maki spoke one word at a time, patiently trying to convince her teacher.
"Wait. Where the hell are you getting this information?"
Pakura stared at Maki in disbelief.
She did not even doubt whether the story itself was true.
She was simply shocked by her disciple's sources.
"I heard about it."
Maki looked completely matter-of-fact.
They were a gossip group.
Digging up information like this was basic professional competence.
"Asuma was assassinated and died in the Land of Hot Water, so afterward, Konoha sent ANBU there to investigate."
"They caught two local gay ninja who had disguised themselves as bathhouse attendants."
"Apparently, what they used while scrubbing Asuma's back wasn't ordinary bath soap at all. They had even mixed some special drugs into it."
"They planned to sneak into Asuma's room later that night."
"But right when they were preparing to make their move and standing lookout, they saw another black-clad figure sneak into Asuma's room first."
"At the time, they assumed someone with the same interests had beaten them to it."
"They were disappointed and even considered following along to see whether they could somehow join in."
"But after taking only a couple of steps, they suddenly heard Asuma scream."
"At first, they thought the newcomer had done something horribly rough to him."
"But they quickly realized the scream was different."
"It went straight through the soul."
"That was the scream of someone dying."
"They immediately assumed the person who entered Asuma's room wasn't merely another gay ninja, but someone with an especially terrifying fascination with death."
"So they got scared and hid back inside their own room."
Pakura's expression grew stranger with every sentence.
Maki continued.
"When Konoha's ANBU interrogated those two, they were foreign shinobi conducting an investigation inside the Land of Hot Water, so local officials were present to supervise the questioning."
"Konoha's ANBU obviously wouldn't leak any of those details."
"But the Land of Hot Water was different."
"Their entire economy depends on hot-spring tourism."
"They absolutely couldn't allow rumors to spread that tourists might get murdered in their hotels."
"So they secretly arranged for the 'truth' of the incident to be made public."
"The official story became that Asuma had simply gotten too wild with some gay ninja and accidentally died because things went too far."
"So everyone could continue visiting safely."
"The Land of Hot Water wasn't dangerous at all."
"Tourists just needed to remember not to get too adventurous."
"…"
Pakura stared at her.
"The Land of Hot Water had some nerve!"
"Did Konoha seriously not send anyone to explain what actually happened?"
"They just tolerated another country secretly destroying the reputation of one of their shinobi—and not just anyone, but the Third Hokage's own son?"
"Konoha absolutely wanted to send someone over and strongly condemn the Land of Hot Water."
Maki nodded.
"But then something happened afterward, and the whole matter quietly disappeared."
"What happened?"
"The Land of Hot Water sent representatives to Asuma's funeral."
"They even volunteered to provide a complete funeral service."
"But while preparing Asuma's body and appearance for the funeral, they discovered something strange."
"There were unusual smells and traces on his body."
"And there were even signs on his back."
"If Asuma had simply learned the Sage Mode shortcut early and accidentally made a mess while training alone in his room, there was no reason anything should have ended up on his back."
"So there was only one possible conclusion."
"Asuma really had been involved with gay ninja at some point."
"…"
Pakura's mouth opened slightly.
Maki spread her hands.
"Once Konoha's people discovered that, they became too embarrassed to keep condemning the Land of Hot Water."
"They hadn't expected Asuma's own record to be less than spotless."
"So the whole incident was quietly dropped."
"So that's what happened…"
Pakura's expression went blank.
What an incredibly satisfying piece of gossip.
No wonder these three girls loved talking about other people so much.
Apparently, gossiping really did feel this good.
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