"SASUKE'S JUST AHEAD! HAHAHA, WE DID IT! WE FOUND SASUKE, NINE-TAILS!"
After a frantic dash using Sage Mode tracking, Naruto finally spotted his target.
[Good, now hurry up and meet him. I won't disturb you.]
In the past, the giant fox would have told Naruto to shut the hell up.
But now, it couldn't bring itself to complain.
Naruto's obsessive longing for Sasuke was actually a blessing for the Nine-Tails.
It pushed them one step further away from the Great Toad Sage's cursed romance prophecy!
"SASUKE, I'M HERE!"
Naruto's Sage Mode deactivated as his excitement peaked.
He leaped from the canopy, spin 360 degrees in mid-air, and stuck the superhero landing with a heavy thud, flashing Sasuke a bright thumbs-up!
Sasuke, who was chilling by the river using his Chidori Sharp Spear to electrocute fish for lunch, blinked.
A flicker of genuine warmth crossed his edgy face, forming a rare brief smile.
However, that smile froze in an instant.
"Naruto... since when do you wear glasses?"
Sasuke didn't ask why Naruto was tracking him or what he wanted.
He went straight to the real issue.
The reason was simple. Seeing Naruto in thick spectacles, Sasuke recalled a highly specific, "friendly" medical tip Orochimaru had written in a training scroll: Never practice the 'arts of self-pleasure' too often..... It causes severe blurred vision.
'Naruto... he's probably just wearing them as a fashion statement, right?' Sasuke prayed inwardly.
"Oh, the glasses? My new training routine has been pretty exhausting lately. Its a side effect—my vision got a little blurry, so I started wearing them. What's up?" Naruto asked, tilting his head.
"Training..."
At the mention of 'training', Sasuke's expression turned dead serious.
His fists clenched.
Power.
He needed power!
Orochimaru told him he needed to build a solid foundation first. Once his body matured, true power would be within his grasp.
But...
"Naruto, tell me the truth. Did you run into any Sound Ninja on your way here?" Sasuke asked, his voice trembling a bit.
He knew Otogakure's layout and defenses intimately.
"Hell yeah I did! That guy was a real jerk. He pretended to be my dad to ambush me. Good thing I mastered Sage Mode at Mount Myōboku! Oh, right! Granny Toad and the old geezers praised my Sage Mode as flawless! SASUKE, AM I AWESOME OR WHAT?!"
Naruto puffed out his chest, his chin held high with pure arrogance.
As the former dead-last, being called a genius by ancient toads had totally gone to his head!
"...I'm not looking at it," Sasuke muttered, taking a cautious step back.
"Alright then." Naruto didn't register the sheer disgust in Sasuke's tone, assuming his rival was just jealous and didn't want to admit how cool his new Sage Mode was.
...Though considering how Naruto activated it, refusing to look was pretty much the right call.
"SASUKE, I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU! I'M DRAGGING YOU BACK TO KONOHA!" Naruto finally remembered his actual mission and pointed a dramatic finger at Sasuke.
"Save me? I'm not in any danger. And I'm not going back. I'm staying here to continue my training," Sasuke replied, finding Naruto's behavior completely baffling.
"NO! OROCHIMARU WANTS TO TAKE OVER YOUR BODY! YOU HAVE TO COME BACK WITH ME!" Naruto interrupted, his voice laced with panic.
"...He does? I don't think Orochimaru gives a shit about my body anymore. Naruto, where the hell did you hear that gossip?" Sasuke asked, genuinely confused.
The first time they met in the Forest of Death, the snake Sannin looked terrifying.
But hadn't Orochimaru's twisted personality been "corrected" lately? Sasuke even heard the Third Hokage re-acknowledged him.
"SASUKE, STOP BEING SO STUBBORN! IF YOU DON'T COME BACK, I'LL BEAT SOME SENSE INTO YOU! EVEN IF I HAVE TO BREAK ALL YOUR LIMBS, I'M TAKING YOU BACK!" Naruto clenched his fists, his face etched with melodramatic sorrow.
"???????"
Sasuke scratched his head.
'How am I being stubborn? All I wanted was to ask where you heard this outdated rumor! Just tell me your source, you idiot! Threatening to break my arms and legs at the drop of a hat...'
Provoked by the insane threat, the calm Sasuke grew irritated.
"Are you saying you can defeat me anytime you want? And Break my bones?"
"NO! I'M SAYING WE'RE FRIENDS!" Naruto declared with a dead-serious glare.
This cursed exchange perfectly mirrored the legendary dialogue between Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju.
Unfortunately, Sasuke hadn't awakened his Susanoo yet to defend his dignity.
Naruto, however, was about to drop his Sage Mode!
Back in the day, right after Hashirama shouted, "We're friends!" the God of Shinobi immediately clasped his hands together to gather natural energy.
Naruto prepared to do the same.
Except he didn't clasp his hands together.
Instead, he reached for his waistband...
"Naruto, what are you doing?" Sasuke frowned.
"Naruto, stop for a second..." Sasuke took another step back.
"NARUTO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Sasuke's face twisted in sheer, unadulterated horror!
You really can't blame the original timeline's Sasuke for constantly demanding, 'What exactly am I to you?!'
If you were in Sasuke's shoes, witnessing Naruto's obsessive stalking, you'd question his motives too.
Similarly, don't blame this universe's Sasuke either!
Put yourself in his place: your rival shows up wearing thick glasses, breathing heavily about "exhausting solo training."
Then he summons a hundred Shadow Clones, and they all simultaneously reach for their zippers to perform a cursed version of Wood Release: Deep Forest Emergence.
You'd be terrified too!
This Sasuke didn't have the Mangekyō or an armored Susanoo to protect his purity yet!
Faced with a hundred unzipping clones, he felt like he was about to get stabbed into a sieve.
"SASUKE, JUST WAIT! ONCE I WHIP THIS OUT AND ENTER SAGE MODE—SASUKE, STOP WITH THE LIGHTNING! WAIT, HOLD ON—!"
When Sasuke launched his desperate counterattack, Naruto panicked.
The Chidori Sharp Spear, originally meant for fishing, sniped the Shadow Clones one by one, forcefully putting an end to Naruto's indecent public display!
Naruto grew frantic.
More than half his clones popped before they could even use their "Suction cup," leaving him with a massive lack of sensory feedback...
'Wait.' Naruto blinked.
He realized he was already entering Sage Mode!
"SASUKE, YOU CAN'T BREAK OUR BOND!" Naruto dispelled the surviving clones, clenched his fists, and yelled.
"Your chakra natures are Fire and Lightning! Mine is Wind! Kakashi-sensei said Wind is the only thing that counters Lightning... But I think my Wind is the only thing that can make your Fire burn even brighter! And I never expected that your Lightning could shock my clones and help me enter Sage Mode even faster! THIS IS AWESOME!"
Naruto's tone softened, looking at his rival with deep, weird affection.
"Sasuke, you're no match for me in Sage Mode. Give up. After I drag you home, I still have to go save Pervy Sage..."
"Save Jiraiya? That old creep deserves to be toyed to death by Orochimaru." Sasuke snapped out of his traumatized daze, his voice dropping to a cold, venomous glare.
In Sasuke's mind, the only person depraved enough to turn the once innocent Naruto into this cursed, public flasher was Jiraiya!
Kakashi had been a suspect too.
But Sasuke reconsidered. Kakashi was a closet pervert who read smut, but he maintained a serious facade in public.
He wouldn't teach a kid to whip out their dick in a forest.
"WHAT?! SASUKE, HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?! HAS OROCHIMARU BRAINWASHED YOU?! DAMN IT, I'LL BEAT YOUR TWISTED THOUGHTS STRAIGHT, ONE PUNCH AT A TIME!"
Enraged, Naruto charged forward.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY FACE WITH THAT UNWASHED HAND OF YOURS!!!" Sasuke shrieked in genuine panic, desperately activating his Three-Tomoe Sharingan just to dodge the biological hazard!
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