Should I just. .. stay,?. ..
Huh, how could I even think that. ...
These thoughts have stayed with me since the night,replaying over and over again, as though they were an option. I knew they were not. I couldn't bring myself to neglect maa and sis. I didn't even dare to imagine how that'd be like. Staying with these monsters.... I wasn't safe with them and I knew that.
However the past few days of continues fevers and shivers and never ending pain, and more shame as I still needed help to walk and help to sit or stand, these few days had taught me that pain... could be just as much a weapon for threatening if inflicted right.
And this time, it seems I'd had myself begotten by death.
I wasn't safe here, I wasn't safe with them either. And I knew it. After all what prisoner in Kantama was ever safe in his prison.
However now, I didn't dare to think of ever escaping.
I stared at the men dinning by my side. A discreet stare, just enough to not get caught. However I was startled stiff when Don's eyes caught mine, his eyes boring into mine until it rested on my barely touched meal. It was not at all that I wasn't hungry or the dish wasn't a good one however, the sore on my belly only hurt worse when I stretched it too tight.
I could only eat so little now if I didn't want a swell and then never ending pain.
I noticed how his eyes flew to my tummy as though recognizing whatever was causing such discomfort. I mastered enough courage to look longer in his eyes searching,wishing and waiting to see if any regret laid in there... But there was nothing, nothing except pity and pride as he looked away...
A scoff almost escaped my lips, but how could I let it out, the damage done to my lips was far from healed up. I couldn't take whatever pain was inflicted to keep it shut in that room again.
I felt the burning of a stare to my right, only to find Dan's eyes, he looked my way too when I met his,
a careful look though and I realized,he was not looking at me, he was staring at my tummy too.
Of course they will recognize the pain they'd both caused, the markings they both left there. On me.
I should've flinched when, Don who sat to my right moved to my side, but I couldn't , my body won't let me. Our encounters in the ... That hellish room taught me he hated that-(my flinching away from him and not wanting him... )He forgot I didn't want any of them at all..
His fingers reached for the loose robe I wore today.
Grabbing a strap and with a thug, my bodice layed bare.... I didn't scream, nor did I finch away, I didn't even dare breath.
I was fine, I had to be... I knew no one was at the hall, no one to witness this, after all they had made it clear I was only theirs to stare and have and mess up and tear apart...
I was going to be repaired to a better state everytime only for the torture to begin again.
I felt his cold touch tracing the swollen and glaring inscriptions on there.
"property of Dom and Don..." It read,
The detestable markings fell right beneath my chest and above my tummy in damnable bold prints large enough to round the half of my tummy, it wasn't a tattoo, a tattoo wouldn't cause such terrible pain. I could still feel the lingering buzz in my brain as it thundered with pain while the burning tool, (if it could be called that) was traced upon my skin. These inscriptions, I could tell, was going to be impossible to get rid of.
I was worse than a slave now, after all a slave could be set free to do his will if he was sold right... But I had no will any more, I was property, an owned good. I belonged to them, that much had been made clear the night before. Their threat to make me crippled if I dared escape also felt too real to be doubted.
"Pur,..."
I heard Dom call my name, and although by all wishes possibly granted I wished it was Dan who fell by my feet now. I knew from the night before he was no better than his brother, he was just as sinister if he was having fun. And in this case, torturing me had been the game.
After the night, I had almost cried in fury when I realized they'd both assumed the roles of caring partners it was unnerving the way, they'd cooed and patted me to sleep when they both knew what they had done. They knew what had caused me such terrible pain and where the marks that tore my skin had come from.
They, for some reason of sorts (I'm guessing one was because they owned me,) did not even allow the doctor to touch me when he walked in.
I knew whoever that doctor was, wasn't going to report what he had seen and could obviously guess. He wasn't going to help me, and I didn't dare to ask for help, after the names at the cemetery, I wasn't sure if I was going to ever ask anyone for anything...the doctor, he probably worked for them too.
After the torturous night though, Dan has retreated from his talker self since and instead only watched carefully at times when Don touched or talked to me. He would still grin and smile silly my way. But I wasn't stupid to fall for it, not again, and I wasn't blind to the fact that he let Don have his way with me now, not at all stopping him. And surprisingly Don could talk,well after having a good release.( Which again is torturing me).
Was this my punishment, is this how he was going to punish me? Let his very very critically deranged brother have his way with me. I knew he enjoyed what they'd both done to me that night.
I learnt a hard lesson then. Whenever I saw him grin in my face as I called out for his help when I could still speak, to save me from his broken brother.
He hadn't restricted himself much either... Maybe it was because when Don had finished with me, I had been too damaged, too out my mind and head to see what happened next and too numb to guess. But I could still feel the pain the ache and jarring pain. He had caused that, I realized now, to my dismay.
He hadn't cared nor did he mind at all how I had been battered.
They were both damaged in the head she was sure of that now.