"Great Guardian, I ask for your guidance."
Useful ones. If it were those pointless things like 'this is your fate', he'd probably attempt a mass murder.
"Please shine over this pitiful subject and grant me peace."
Keeping his embarrassment in check was proving to be an issue. Such cringy things...that damn guardian!
"You are the only one who can help me."
If only there were another way. This better work! He'd been suffering from chills because of this creature; helping is the least he could do.
"So please forgive my misgivings and grant me your aid."
Why couldn't he have a generous guardian who helps on their own?
Sincerity was apparently a waste of time when it was not felt from within. Faking it worked, almost everywhere, except when the receiver could see through your lies.
Or hear through them.
Reis solemnly stared out the window, as if unbothered by worldly affairs. The said receiver in this case could definitely hear the jumbled mess in his mind very clearly.
He was done for. There's no hope anymore. This was the end. It had to be.
Reis didn't know who this was, God, demon, or some other being.
But if he could practically hear Reis's every thought, forget helping, he'd probably help the enemies instead.
Why did he have to think those things? All he had to do was shut down his brain and recite those words. What would happen to him now?
Reis didn't want to be turned into a cube.
"Stop spewing nonsense. You're giving me a headache."
|Achievement: Cause physical or mental damage to a higher being.|
'Is this a joke to you?'
|I'm merely informing you.|
"Uh…I…um, I do mean it when I say you're the only one who can help…" Reis made a pitiful attempt at damage control.
He really didn't mean to add those things. But what was he supposed to do when all he had was a negative experience with Odyssey? It wasn't humanly possible to control his thoughts, Ok?
"And why should I help you?"
"..."
'He's my freaking guardian! What else is he supposed to do? '
"Because you are a great being who can?"
|You could at least try to be polite…|
Tasty food. Blue sky. Comfy bed. No cursing.
The system did say that the guardian wasn't obliged to help. But if this being was the only one with the authority to help him, that had to be his job. And no one actually likes to work; he knew that, but this guy was invading his mental privacy. The least he could do was help.
"What do you want then?"
Reis's solemn eyes finally lit up. 'I want to escape from the Ascendancy trials! Help me drop out!'
"That's under heaven's jurisdiction. Whether you are in or out is their decision."
'But the system said you can help…'
"That would require me to physically intervene."
Reis stared ahead, confused. It almost felt like someone was scrutinizing him.
'Can't you do that much?'
Were there special rules that said guardians could only watch? That didn't sound right. Otherwise, the system wouldn't have mentioned this idea; it's not that incompetent, is it?
|...|
|Your current stats are not appropriate for a proper summoning of your guardian.|
He stared at the stat screen shown with the other screen.
"It's not my fault that you are weaker than the weakest human without mana or physical training."
And how was that his fault either? Did he pick this character?
"I had to pour in my energy to even cross you over."
Reis gaped, trying to remember the time he asked to be crossed over to another world. Oh right. That never happened.
And what? Did this man want to be compensated for it? He thought back to some shows where some characters would ask for it because they used up too much energy to help out the main characters.
"Don't think too highly of yourself, puny human. You couldn't drain my energy in your entire lifetime."
Again, how is that his fault? Reis didn't ask to be a delicate prince who was only good at sleeping and running away. Now, even the capability to run away was compromised.
|It's not particularly your fault.|
|This is something that can be fixed with a few stat upgrades.|
He sighed, half annoyed, half dejected. "Please, help me. I have no one else to ask for help. You are the guardian! I'm sure you have a way to help."
"You are strangling me in your mind, while asking for help."
". . ."
It shouldn't count.
To strangle someone, even in the mind realm, you need to be able to imagine their appearance; otherwise, it is not satisfying. Just him clutching a formless person...
Wait no. Not Again!
"I didn't mean it to be like that! I swear! I just can't help it!"
The servants better not have heard his pleadings. He didn't have that thick of a skin to survive that kind of embarrassment.
Did the guardian really not have a way to help without being summoned? Are otherworldly beings supposed to be really strong, no? What was so hard about helping a human? Heavens didn't care that much; even he knew that. And he was the least knowledgeable here.
|...|
|It is entirely in the guardian's hands.|
'I bet he'd be bitter even if he had fifty hands to help.'
"Say that when you actually meet the criteria of receiving help."
"I will help you once you successfully summon me."
Reis's face lit up momentarily but then froze again.
That may not be a good thing, not after what he did just now. And this guy seemed like he held grudges.
|By the system's formative rules, the guardian cannot cause you any harm intentionally as long as you are his ward, even if he doesn't help you with anything.|
So what was the ominous feeling then?
He wasn't given so much as a nail's worth of help so far. Demons lured humans to make contracts with them. And the result is not that bright.
Couldn't he grant him some power instead? Any simple thing that could be of use. Or was he just too stingy?
"Ow!"
It was an awful feeling to have ice thrown into your shirt. One of the worst sensations, worse than bathing in ice water knowingly.
That was what it felt like as soon as the thought passed.
"Humans and their narrow thoughts."
"I granted your deepest wish, how ungrateful of you to still complain."
What wish?
It sounded like this man fulfilled his dying wish. Only that he had made no such wish, nor was he granted any special powers. So what was this guy bragging about?
"Truly, I was assigned to the weakest and most foolish one."
Well, sorry for being incompetent then.
He was no use here anyway. He should be sent back immediately. Reis was more than ready for it.
"You foolish Human."
|The Guardian indeed bestowed a blessing on you. It has just not been necessary until now.|
Really?
Gasoline wouldn't light up as fast as the prince by proxy did. A gift. There really was something.
"Greedy humans."
Yes.
Reis was grasping at straws at this point. Anything would do as long as it could help him run away.
|Would you like to try it?|
Yeah!
|Initiating.|
|Scan Complete. Skill: Insta Klean in effect, 3…2…1|
He stared through the huge flash of light, heart beating loudly. Could he have an overpowered skill after all?
Not even in the age of electricity had he ever seen such a blinding light up close. It was as if the sun itself had been summoned into this room, and what the light left behind was even more blinding.
|Skill Use Successful.|
|Your room has been thoroughly cleaned.|
|Would you like to try another room?|
He blinked.
Then stared.
And blinked again.
He didn't know the words to express his feelings as he stared at the table that almost reflected his face. It was such an odd feeling, nothing he had ever felt before. He opened his mouth to speak and closed it again, repeating the process a few times.
"Are you so surprised that even the weird, annoying voice went silent?"
God forbid, even the third prince's greatest enemies wouldn't call his voice annoying, just like no one would call him ugly. Those were his only positive characteristics.
But yes, the so-called annoying voice that couldn't stop spewing something negative did go quiet for a good few minutes.
Reis was so surprised, he didn't even know what to think, let alone utter the words.
He did, though, once the impact of the shock wore off and he looked back at the blue screen.
"Does the great guardian not know how the world works, or is this on purpose?" Reis asked from genuine curiosity.
"Don't mind me asking, but is he, for lack of a better word, an idiot?"