I had never seen such a strange plant. It was bright green and about half a person tall, with four leaves at its base and a long neck rising from the middle. Its head was a wide mouth shaped like an O, with two black eyes and a green braid-like shoot behind it that looked like an unopened leaf bud.
"Peashooter!" I jumped up on reflex. "What Peashooter?" Evan Hall looked confused. "I think it looks like a pitcher plant head blown up a hundred times and laid on its side!"
"Peashooter from Plants vs. Zombies, idiot!" I flicked him on the head. "So that's it!" Fatty yelped in pain, then his eyes lit up. "Doesn't that mean we hit the jackpot?"
Plants vs. Zombies was a very popular single player game. Back then, Lori, Evan Hall, and I had stayed up all night playing it, but all of us failed at the final Endless Trial. I only made it to level thirty two, Lori pushed herself to level forty, and Evan Hall was a total beginner who got his brain eaten at level eleven.
"Don't move." I grabbed Fatty, and he looked at me in confusion. "Don't act rashly. This place might be an experimental base of United States or Russia, and this pea could be something they made."
I did not mention certain island countries because those had already sunk. Poor kids, no chance at all. The Peashooter kept its mouth open and its eyes fixed in our direction, and both Fatty and I were very tense, unsure if it was really watching us.
If people from United States or Russia found out we had broken in here, we would definitely be dead. A dull rumble sounded, and I looked at Fatty. It was just his stomach growling again, something that scared people half to death every time.
I remembered once in a park when Fatty was hungry and his stomach made the same sound. It scared an old man so badly that he had a heart attack, though he was saved in the end. Otherwise Fatty would have carried a heavy sin and gone straight to Avici Hell after death.
Fatty looked at me with an ugly expression. I checked my pockets, and aside from my phone there was only a wallet with a few hundred in cash, useless for buying food. The most valuable thing was a photo of Lori, smiling as charmingly as ever.
An idea suddenly came to me. "Fatty, we have food!"
"What food?" Fatty became interested. I nodded toward the Peashooter. "It's that big. There must be a lot of peas inside it."
Fatty's eyes lit up again. I could hear him swallowing as he crept toward the pea, muttering, "You can't see me, you can't see me." He really thought he had special powers, like this was going to work.
After a few steps, Fatty turned back. "Brother Zack, this thing isn't poisonous, right? We can really eat it?"
"It's edible," I answered firmly. "Stop lying. Every time you trick me, you look this serious. I remember it well. If you're telling the truth, don't let your right eyelid twitch," Fatty shouted.
None of us noticed that the Peashooter's mouth closed slightly and then returned to normal. "Forget it. It's green food. If you won't eat it, that's your problem," I snapped, annoyed that I could not control my eyebrows.
I did not know if Fatty truly believed me or was just tempted by the words green food. His greed was famous, the kind of guy who would fight a shark in the ocean for a bowl of shark fin. Eating mattered more to him than his life.
He twisted his hips and moved in an S-shaped path toward the Peashooter. The pea plant did not seem to notice at all, its eyes fixed in one direction without moving.
Suddenly, when Fatty was less than ten meters away, the Peashooter's eyes flashed. A round object rapidly rose up its arm-thick neck, and it tilted its head back. "Puh."
A round ball wrapped in soft green light shot out of its mouth. Everything happened in just a few seconds, and Fatty had no time to react before it hit him square on the head and knocked him flat on his back.
A huge lump swelled on Fatty's forehead. He covered it and cried with tears streaming down. "Brother Zack, I'll never believe you again. You're a total bad guy!"
He did not dare get up at all. One white ball after another floated past his eyes, showing that whatever the Peashooter fired could not change direction.
These softly glowing green balls lost power about four or five meters from me and dropped to the ground. They really were peas. I estimated the Peashooter's range at about fifteen meters, with no killing power beyond that.
Fatty was lucky. If the Peashooter had fired again when he was within five meters, I would probably be collecting his body. "Stop yelling at me. You're strong, so this job has to be yours," I said as I pulled Fatty out of the firing range.
As expected, it did not shoot again. It just watched us quietly, like a soldier standing guard. "Don't sweet talk me. You call yourself my brother. If I died from that, I would haunt you as a ghost," Fatty cursed while brushing dust off his pants.
"Don't rush to curse me. I didn't trick you," I said as I picked up a pea from the ground. "Look, aren't these all peas it fired?"
Each pea was about the same size, almost as big as my fist, weighing two or three pounds. No wonder it knocked down someone as tough as Fatty. I dug my fingernails into one, cutting the skin and letting green juice flow out. It really did look like a genuine pea.
"Fatty, where's the fire?" "Roasting peas?" Fatty handed me the lighter.
"Nonsense. Do you have a pot? We can only roast them. Go find firewood." Hearing there was food, Fatty immediately became lively again and forgot about his sore forehead.
He happily picked up scattered branches, though he kept a wary eye on the pea plant, looking extra cautious in a funny way. I ran to the roots of a tree, scraped out some dry grass with a branch, piled it up, and stacked the branches he brought back.
The flames soon grew strong. We skewered the peas on sticks and roasted them over the fire. When the stick pierced the pea, we glanced at the diligent shooter, which did not move at all.
Of course, it was just a pea plant. What expression could it have? I told myself I was overthinking. Soon the outer skin charred, and a rich smell spread out.
We must have been starving, because even without seasoning the smell felt intense, as good as food from a five-star hotel. "Here, Fatty, don't be polite," I said, holding the stick up to him. "Sorry you suffered earlier. You know I usually think in terms of tactics."
Fatty was so moved that his eyes filled with tears. I almost softened, thinking I really should not treat foreign friends like this in the future. He took the pea and prepared to bite, his mouth stopping just one millimeter away.
"Brother Zack, are you sure this bean is really edible?" My heart skipped. This Fatty was getting smart at the worst time.
"If you don't believe me, I'll eat first." I did not explain further. I grabbed the pea and took a big bite. It smelled good and tasted pretty nice, so I took a few more bites, enjoying the smooth texture.
Fatty finally could not hold back. The way he ate was hard to watch, like a prisoner swallowing everything whole. Actually, when Fatty was gathering firewood earlier, I had soaked ants in the pea juice, and they were still alive, so it should not be poisonous.
I just wanted to tease Fatty. I always treated him like a real brother, so there was no way I would truly put him in danger, except for letting him test the Peashooter earlier. I ate two peas and burped in satisfaction. Fatty ate four and hesitated with his stick, wondering whether to roast a fifth.