Shawn needed an answer.
A good one.
One that made sense.
One that didn't raise more questions than the ones already piling up.
Standing in the center of the room, hands covering the only thing he could cover, he had a centuries-old vampire queen in front of him who had just asked him two very specific and very direct questions.
'Think,' Shawn told himself. 'Think, think, think.'
The truth was off the table from the start. Answering:
"Hi, I'm a guy from another world that God turned into a girl to cleanse his sins, and now I show up naked every time I travel between dimensions because apparently that's part of the package."
No.
That wasn't going to work.
Shawn looked at Iris.
Iris kept looking at him, with that calm, patient expression belonging to someone accustomed to waiting for answers.
And then, something came to Shawn.
It wasn't an elaborate plan.
It wasn't a carefully constructed lie.
But if it worked…
Shawn took a breath.
Straightened up a little.
And with a confidence that had absolutely no real backing, said:
"I came to this world by the work of God to teach everyone about His mercy."
Silence.
Iris said nothing.
She stood there looking at Shawn with her eyes slightly wide and her mouth barely parted.
It wasn't the expression of someone convinced.
It was the expression of someone who had just heard something so unexpected that her brain needed a few extra seconds to process it.
Shawn held her gaze.
Iris blinked once.
Then twice.
And then, she let out a small laugh.
It was brief.
Almost involuntary.
Like she hadn't been able to help it.
"You don't need to make things up…" said Iris, with a tone that blended amusement with something that sounded almost like patience. "I do suspect you, yes. I won't deny it."
Shawn didn't respond.
"But whatever treatment you used yesterday with that strange book…" she continued, "it worked. I feel much better."
A brief pause.
"Were you serious when you said you'd only healed me a quarter of the way? Because—"
Shawn opened his mouth.
"I was completely serious when I said I'm here because of God."
Iris raised an eyebrow.
Just one.
Very slowly.
It was a small gesture, but on someone who had been queen for centuries, that gesture carried considerable weight.
Nobody interrupted her.
Or at least, nobody who had done it before had made that mistake twice.
"Who exactly is God?" asked Iris, her voice still calm but now carrying a very thin edge.
Shawn considered the question for a second.
"The being who created everything in this world."
Iris tilted her head slightly to one side.
"Everything?" she repeated.
"Everything," confirmed Shawn.
"Does that include mana?"
"Yes," said Shawn. "Everything that exists. The mana, the kingdoms, the vampires." He paused half a second. "You. Me. All of it is God's creation."
Iris fell silent.
Her red eyes moved slowly, not fixing on any particular point, with the expression of someone processing new information and looking for somewhere it might fit with what they already know.
Shawn watched her.
And in his mind, deep down, he was laughing.
'There it is!' he thought, watching Iris's face. 'That's exactly the face people make when they try to find logic in God!'
Shawn knew that face.
He'd seen it many times.
He'd worn it himself for years, sitting in the back of some religion class he hadn't asked to take, listening to answers that generated more questions than certainties.
'For a long time I thought God and everything around Him was pure theater,' thought Shawn, watching Iris try to organize her thoughts. 'Vague answers, circular logic, people convinced of things they couldn't prove.'
A mental pause.
'And now I'm the one standing in another world explaining to a vampire queen that God exists and that He created her too.'
Another pause.
'Life is weird.'
But what mattered was that God hadn't restricted him from saying anything he'd said so far.
His tongue still wasn't burning.
Which meant he could keep playing this card.
And Shawn had every intention of doing exactly that.
Iris finally spoke.
"Why did this God of yours send you?" she asked, looking at him directly. "Why now? Why to help me?"
Shawn smiled.
It was a calm smile.
Almost serene.
"God's timing is perfect," said Shawn, with a conviction that surprised even himself. "Only He knows the answer to that."
Iris looked at him intently.
Then let out a long, slow sigh.
"God's timing is perfect…" she repeated quietly, almost to herself.
And as she said it, her mind was evaluating the situation with the same cold clarity she'd used to evaluate hundreds of situations before.
Option one: the girl was a spy from another kingdom.
But if she was a spy, she was the most incompetent spy she'd seen in centuries. No trained agent showed up naked drawing that much attention in such an outlandish way.
But more than anything… no trained agent gave such absurd answers with such unshakeable confidence.
Option two: the girl was insane.
That was more plausible.
But neither option changed one very concrete reality.
The person in front of her had healed her.
And that was something Iris could not ignore.
Iris took a step toward Shawn.
Shawn didn't step back, but he did tense slightly.
Iris moved a little closer, close enough that the distance between them became uncomfortable, and leaned forward just slightly.
"Would you like to become a pureblood vampire?" she whispered, her voice low and direct.
Shawn stepped back.
Several thoughts crossed his mind at the same time, none of them positive.
"No," said Shawn, shaking his head several times in a row. "No, no. I'd rather stay a plain ordinary human, thanks."
Iris looked at him.
Something in that answer caught her attention.
'A plain ordinary human,' she repeated mentally, her eyes fixed on Shawn.
He hadn't said "a human woman."
He had said "a human."
Iris filed that detail away in silence, saying nothing about it.
"Well then," said Iris, shifting to a lighter tone, "would you like me to help you get dressed?"
"No," answered Shawn immediately. "I cherish my privacy."
Iris looked him up and down.
Just once.
Very slowly.
"Your privacy," she repeated, in a completely dry tone.
"Yes," said Shawn, holding her gaze.
"The same privacy," continued Iris, "you had when you appeared naked in the middle of the capital?"
Shawn said nothing.
"Or the same privacy you have right now, here, in this room?"
Shawn kept saying nothing.
Iris tilted her head.
"Do you have a thing for that?" she asked, with what sounded like entirely genuine curiosity.
Color rose to Shawn's face faster than he would have liked.
"That is a misunderstanding," said Shawn, his voice coming out louder than intended. "A complete misunderstanding. It has nothing to do with a thing, it's a situation that is completely out of my control and that I don't fully understand either and that—"
Iris burst out laughing.