"You fucking perverted alpha bastard… That's what you get for skipping your meds during your rut. You got excited because you were going with Sol alone? Did you deliberately—because you had dirty intentions…?"
While everyone was eating, Daesu slipped into the tent to avoid attention and borrowed medication from Jisu. Jisu handed him a long windbreaker that came down to his thighs and an alpha suppressant, then clicked his tongue as he looked at Daesu's crotch with a disgusted expression.
Daesu hurriedly zipped up the windbreaker so no one would see, took the pills, and chewed them down without water. Crunch—an ugly, vicious sound of the pills being crushed.
"I didn't skip them."
"Then why the hell—! Are you in puberty? Go to the hospital… If you suddenly went into heat and it's that bad, that's a disease."
The cast members were required to always keep suppressants and track their cycle, just in case. Someone as strict about self-management as Jeong Daesu wouldn't forget something like that.
"I think someone swapped my meds."
As if anyone could even get suppressants that looked identical to Daesu's on this island—Jisu let out a hollow laugh at the absurd claim.
"Are you reading detective novels now? Who the hell would do that…"
"It tasted different. I thought something felt off."
"What, your meds were manufactured wrong?"
"No way. I've been taking them since before I came here. This has never happened."
Jisu thought of three people. Minhyuk, Taeoh, and Dansol… No—Lee Yiyeon and Yoo Dohyeon too, who hadn't even made it up the mountain.
Was one of them really the one who swapped his meds?
"I've only got suspicion, no proof. Just get that under control and come back. If you lose your mind and do something stupid to Dansol, I'll kill you."
"Do what you want."
"Hyung! Hurry up!"
Whatever he'd seen to get so excited, Dansol greeted Jisu as Jisu walked over slowly.
The way he patted the spot beside him and called out—he looked like he had a tail wagging. His cheeks were more flushed than usual, his behavior cute, and there was a faint scent of alcohol on the end of his breath.
After only seeing him looking oddly deflated, that innocent face disarmed Jisu all over again. Thank god Daesu or the others hadn't seen him like this first.
"Sol, did you drink?"
"Uh… yes. No, it's a prop we're using later… Director Kim offered it to me, so I took a cup."
'That bastard Kim Seontae—who the hell does he think he is…'
Jisu's hands were big enough to cup both of Dansol's cheeks. Dansol had gone rigid whenever Jisu's touch came out of nowhere, but seeing him go all soft after just one drink made Jisu want to swallow him whole.
He didn't like that the director had given Dansol alcohol on his own, but since it let him see Dansol like this, Jisu crushed down the urge to explode right then.
The bottles on the table were a fairly strong liquor. Even so, if one cup made him this hazy, Dansol was a lightweight.
"Sol, you're sleeping with hyung again tonight, right?"
"Yeah! Mhm… of course. Because hyung doesn't have his cuddle doll…"
"Yeah."
Jisu smiled as he toyed with the warm cheek resting against his shoulder. As the others started taking seats around the campfire, the assistant director clapped the slate.
"There was an announcement, but because we're missing some people due to unavoidable circumstances, we'll tell you after we go back down. And the game we prepared… well, we can't do it since we don't have the numbers. So we'll just do a talk segment while everyone has a drink."
From PD Choi's attitude, Dansol sensed a nuance like she was blaming the people who weren't here. In the end, he'd only escaped the blame by luck.
"In the box in front of you are question slips made by our youngest staff. There are questions viewers sent in, and questions our production team wrote. Take turns drawing one. If you can't answer, you take a drink from the cup in front of you."
Of course. Just because two cast members were missing didn't mean PD Choi would let them relax.
With alcohol courage from who-knows-where, Dansol shot his hand up first.
"Me! I'll go first!"
"Sol, you wanted to do it that badly?"
Minhyuk, Taeoh, and Daesu—who'd returned to the summit at some point—were all smiling at how cute he looked, unusually eager. Jisu played along and asked,
"Yeah? Go draw one, then."
"Yes!"
Dansol stuck his hand into the round opening and swished it around once. The familiar shape of a capsule brushed his fingertips. He grabbed one capsule and popped it open—and unlike usual, there was a slightly longer strip of paper inside.
"Among the cast of 'RO Match Survival in Island,' is there a participant you like?"
Dansol blinked slowly as he read it.
From the first question, it was sensitive. All the alphas were staring at Dansol's mouth.
"Yes… there is."
Someone he liked…
After answering, Dansol reread the question over and over, thinking of the person who'd come to mind the instant he saw it. A vague feeling started to sharpen into something clearer.
"Guess it's my turn next."
Jisu, who'd been staring at Dansol smiling foolishly after answering, spoke up. Without hesitating, he reached into the box.
"When was your last relationship?"
Several people flashed through Jisu's mind. They were too casual to even call "relationships."
Because of rumors, he'd never been able to take things to the end in Korea, and most of them were one-night stands overseas.
After a few of his films won major awards internationally, he stopped even that, since people recognized him everywhere. So he gave a rough answer.
"Three years ago."
"Shouldn't you have to drink if you lie too?"
Of course Daesu didn't let it go, reflexively nitpicking.
PD Choi's eyes gleamed like she'd just caught something.
"Do you happen to know something?"
But when Jisu—who already had leverage over Daesu—let his gaze drop toward Daesu's crotch, Daesu hurriedly tacked on an awkward excuse.
"No… I just… I'm asking about the rules. Not saying Han Jisu is lying."
"Ah… If you have grounds, then yes, it's a penalty, obviously."
"It was three years ago. I know."
Seeing Jisu grin, Daesu added gloomily,
"Now it's Minhyuk's turn."
Jisu passed the box to Minhyuk. After a long moment of hesitation, Minhyuk drew a capsule.
"Chance: Ask one participant a question."
"Wow, I got a chance! Um… what should I ask…"
Pretending to think, Minhyuk handed the slip to Dansol.
"Earlier… the one you said you liked. Who is it?"
It was what everyone here wanted to know.
Dansol, who'd relaxed because it wasn't his turn, startled and lifted his head. Not just the alphas—staff too were staring at him.
"Well… I…"
He still wasn't sure.
In his previous life, he'd fallen too fast and too easily for Yiyeon and gotten burned. It was clumsy, awkward feelings—embarrassing even to keep to himself.
"I'll just drink."
This time, I won't let anyone find out.
Planning to keep it as a private memory and return to being an ordinary person once the show ended, Dansol swallowed his feelings with a cup of harsh, bitter liquor.
Minhyuk's disappointed turn passed, and the box went to Taeoh.
"Hakuna matata, yap!"
Taeoh chanted a weird spell and drew a capsule.
"How many times in one night, max?"
"Aaaah!"
Taeoh screamed the instant he read it. It wasn't enough that he screamed—he even held the slip between his thumb and index finger like it was filthy, then threw it away.
"Who wrote this question? Director! I'm an idol!"
"That wasn't me."
"It's obviously your type of question!"
"…That question wasn't for you. Just drink."
Since Taeoh's guess seemed to be correct, PD Choi scratched the back of her head awkwardly and poured him a drink. Taeoh puffed out his lips, downed it, then brought the box to Dansol.
"Your turn, Dansol-ssi."
"Why does my turn come around so fast…"
With the earlier drink, Dansol was even more tipsy now. His lower lip jutted out with a pout.
Normally, he would've just gone "hehe" and done what he was told, but with alcohol in him, honest feelings spilled out of his mouth. He looked like a sulking chick, and everyone started giggling.
"It's always me…"
"Sol, want hyung to do it for you?"
Jisu offered to be the white knight, but Dansol wouldn't yield.
"No… no… You have to do your own things yourself. That's how you become a cool adult. I'm a cool adult!"
He punched up at the sky as he slurred out words he normally only said to himself in his head when he lacked courage.
He pulled out a capsule and read it carefully, but his tongue—already dulled—spat out clumsy sounds.
"If you could go back to the past, when would you go back to, and why?"
He'd already gone back, and now they wanted him to go back again?
Dansol, cheeks flushed red with drink, patted them a couple of times, then buried his face in his palm and stalled for a long while, looking troubled.
At this point, drinking any more was impossible. He let out a long breath and started answering.
"When I was thirteen."
It was far younger than anyone expected. The others looked like their systems had crashed—no one could even speak.
"That's when… I became a trainee. So if I went back, I'd just… not dream about being a celebrity, and try living a normal life like other kids."
Minhyuk, listening carefully, asked,
"Do you have something you want to say? To thirteen-year-old Dansol?"
At Minhyuk's question, everyone held their breath.
The moment their fate changed—everyone remembered that day.
After that, an ordinary, peaceful life became impossibly far away. And there was a day when they regretted choosing this job down to the bone.
A day when, even after enduring humiliation and baseless abuse, even after going through something so painful you wanted to die, you still had to smile and act. A day when something that was ordinary to others became a special "escape" for them.
Why did I ever want to do this?
A day when you regretted your reckless past so deeply it hurt.
Not just Dansol—everyone had a day like that at least once.
Borrowing the strength of alcohol, Dansol spoke to his younger self—who'd grown up too early, who hadn't even had the chance to cry properly.
"That it's okay to not grow up so fast. That everyone… will wait until you actually become an adult, so don't try to become one too quickly… I'd tell him that."
Continue reading up to chapter 40+ at Novelshub.org