I turned my phone on, expecting everything to rush back at once. Missed calls. Messages stacked on messages. People wondering if I was alive.
There was nothing.
Just silence.
My inbox was almost empty.
I refreshed it again. Maybe I'd missed something.
The only name that kept showing up was Owen.
Three messages.
The last one was dated three months ago.
Get well soon, Evelyn.
That was it.
No apology. No explanation. No 'I'm sorry for ruining your life.'
Nothing from Lily.
Nothing from anyone else.
That was all I got.
My vision blurred as I locked the screen, my chest started aching again. That same ache I felt that night.
I don't know why I opened Instagram.
I wish I hadn't.
Right there, at the top of my feed, was a photo that didn't make sense at first. Owen in a suit. Lily in a dress I recognized….the blue one that always brought out her curves.
They went to Owen's prom together.
Then I scrolled through the pictures.
They were dating now.
My hands went cold.
I tapped the comments without thinking.
That was where it really broke me.
"They look perfect together."
"This makes so much sense."
"Power couple."
I couldn't breathe.
I curled in on myself, overwhelmed by the noise in my head, by the betrayal that wouldn't stop replaying, by the fact that the world had kept going….celebrating while I disappeared.
I don't remember when Mom came in.
I just remember her arms around me suddenly patting my back.
"It's okay," she whispered over and over again. "It's going to be okay. I promise. You're here. You're alive. That's what matters."
I clung to her.
How could they move on so easily?
How could everyone just forget me?
Mom kept talking softly, brushing my hair back, telling me that things would get better, that this pain wouldn't last forever.
I wanted to believe her.
I really did.
As she kept talking…there was a knock on the door.
Mom didn't answer right away.
She wiped her face with the back of her hand, took a breath like she was bracing herself, then stood up.
"I'll get it," she said quietly.
I stayed where I was, sitting stiffly on the bed. My chest felt tight again.
The door opened.
I heard a man's voice.
"Is Evelyn home?"
Something in my body reacted before my mind could.
That voice…
Dad?!
I stood up so fast the room spun, and hurried out barefoot.
And then I saw him. He was NOT my father.
The man standing there was older, and taller. His eyes softened when they landed on me.
The hope drained out of me all at once.
"I'm glad you're awake," he added softly.
Mom stepped aside to let him in.
"This is Mr Cole," she said, softly. "Your dad's boss. He came over once… remember?"
I nodded slowly.
I did remember… barely.
He sat down, folding his hands together.
"He's been the one paying your hospital bills," Mom said after a moment. "He's been there for me these past months. You should thank him too."
I looked at him again, and nodded softly.
"Oh…..it's nothing," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Your dad was an incredible man. This is the least I could do for his family."
He paused.
"It's just… it's awful, what happened to…"
Mom reached out suddenly and touched his arm.
She shook her head, slowly..
"She doesn't know," she whispered. "Please."
The room went completely still.
My heart started racing again.
Doesn't know what?
I stepped toward my mom, my hands trembled as I tugged lightly at her sleeve, trying to make her look at me.
She turned.
And when she did, her face collapsed.
That's when I knew something elsewas very, very wrong.
She took my hands in hers, holding them tightly, like she was about to say something devastating.
"Eve…" Her voice was barely there. "Your dad…"
I shook my head immediately.
"He didn't make it," she whispered. "The night of the accident."
My face went pale.
I grabbed my shirt, like I could pull the pain out of me.
My head shook harder.
No.
No no no.
Please tell me it's not true.
He was driving. He was talking. He was right there.
Dads don't die. Dads don't just disappear.
Mom rushed forward, grabbing my arms, but I stumbled back, gasping, shaking.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I tried to tell you. I didn't know how. I didn't want you to wake up and…"
I couldn't breathe properly. I shook my head again, like if I did it enough the words would undo themselves.
Dad promised.
Dad said he'd always be right here.
My legs gave out.
Mom caught me just in time, pulling me into her, holding me while I trembled like I was freezing.
"I'm here," she cried into my hair. "I'm here. I'm so sorry, baby."
My hands clenched into her clothes. My whole body shook.
Then she pulled back slightly.
Her face crumpled all over again.
"And Ethan…" she whispered.
Everything stopped.
I froze.
My eyes locked on her mouth.
Her lips trembled. "He never came home."
The room tilted.
Not Ethan too.
"He's still missing," she said through the tears. "We searched. The police searched. We're still waiting…."
I shook my head over and over again.
He was asleep. I tucked him in. I kissed his forehead.
"He's just a kid," Mom sobbed. "He was alone. And I…..I wasn't there."
I slid down to the floor.
My mouth opened in a silent scream.
Nothing came out.
This is my fault. This is all my fault.
Mom dropped to the floor with me, pulling me into her arms, holding me so tight.
"I know," she cried. "I know you didn't mean to. I'm sorry I blamed you that night."
But it didn't matter anymore.
Dad was gone. Ethan was gone.
It should've been me.
I wished I never woke up instead.