"Aria, baby, what's the problem? Why are you looking so sad?" Mom asked after barging in to drop the laundry.
"I'm fine, Mom. I'm fine," young Aria said.
But I could hear my younger self's thoughts.
'You were too focused on trying to be remembered that you didn't notice I was slowly being erased from your mind.'
She couldn't forget Marie's words. They clung to her, heavy and sharp. Marie was hurting, and she had been too busy to see it.
"Come on," Mom insisted gently, noticing she was already prepared for class. "Tell me what's bothering you, darling."
'But your name got called instead.'
Marie's words echoed again.
"Aria, baby, look at me," Mom called.
But Marie's hurting words couldn't stop consuming her thoughts—
'With each moment I stared at him, I always caught him staring at you. The day I saw you both lock eyes, it felt like my heart was being stabbed a million times.'
"Mom… I hurt her," young Aria finally broke down, collapsing into deep sobs as she hugged mother. "I promised to help her, but… but I don't know how."
"Easy now, my love. Easy," Mom said softly, rubbing her back. "Who did you hurt?"
"M-Marie," she whispered. "And I didn't even realize it."
"Breathe in," Mom said calmly.
I watched young Aria pull away slightly and take a deep breath
"Breathe out."
She did.
"Now, what happened?" Mom asked, looking at her intently.
"She likes him, but I didn't know," she said, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Baby, you have to be specific, okay?" Mom said.
"Marie likes Lewis, and I couldn't even figure that out. She had been hurting all this time, and I didn't realize. Mom… I didn't," she said in the midst of sobs.
"Aria, it isn't your fault. You said something about helping?" Mom inquired.
"Yes. I said I was going to help them get together so they can get to know each other and so she can tell him how she feels," young Aria said.
"So do that. What you're going through now is called guilt, but if you do the right thing, trust me, this feeling will fade," Mom assured her. "If you can help but refuse to, the guilt will completely take over you."
Just then, the school bus arrived and began honking. Young Aria started picking up her things in preparation to leave, but Mom stopped her.
"Do the right thing, Aria. You have always been a good person—now it's time to be a good friend," Mom said one last time.
She hugged her and let her go. Young Aria walked to the bus and took a seat. When she scanned around but didn't find Marie, she couldn't help blaming herself.
She looked outside the window as tears filled her eyes again. Different thoughts occupied her head, and as the bus kept moving toward school, she finally concluded that Marie wasn't coming to class today—because she had been a bad friend.
After a long ride, they arrived at school.
She stepped down from the bus and slowly walked into the classroom.
Then she saw Lewis.
He looked like a mess—for someone who was always neat and decent. Now he looked like he was going through hell: his hair messy, clothes untucked, sweat dripping down his face. He seemed lost in his own thoughts normally he would stare at young Aria but now she was the one doing the staring in utter disbelief.
"Today we will learn about history and its disadvantages," the teacher, who was already present in the class, said.
It was then Marie arrived. Never had she come late to class before, but today she did. She stared at Lewis, then at young Aria, before finally walking in and taking her seat.
"Okay, so back to our topic—history. I know what you are thinking: this is going to be fun, and that is because it talks about the past. But here is one thing people never tell you—history can trap you in the past for however long you choose to involve yourself with it."
It was a serious class, and it would have done young Aria good to listen, but she couldn't stop herself from staring at Marie, who kept stealing glances at Lewis. She had hoped Marie didn't mean what she had said… but she did.
"Sometimes we find the stories from way back far more interesting than the ones we find ourselves creating now. But I would give just one advice—hold on to the story that is being created now."
Someone tapped young Aria and handed her a note.
I still recalled what it said:
'I remember. Can we meet at the library?'