"I won't eat," he said quietly.
No theatrics. No challenge.
"I won't drink water. I don't need your warmth. I don't need material warmth. And I don't need your hold."
The words weren't thrown at me.
They were withdrawn.
That was what made them unbearable.
The laughter that tore out of my chest this time wasn't mocking. It was jagged raw, uneven, it was the sound of a woman watching the ground tilt beneath her feet. I stared at you, truly stared, and for the first time I understood what I was facing.
Not rebellion.
Not pride.
Conviction.
You had already given yourself away to something I couldn't purchase, threaten, or erase. A man who had placed his soul somewhere beyond my reach.
"A hunger strike?" I whispered, my voice trembling with a dark, manic electricity.
I reached up and cupped your face with both hands, my palms cold against your skin, forcing you to look at me.
"You would wither away?" I breathed. "Turn into a skeleton in this beautiful room just to keep your soul pure for her?"
My stomach twisted violently.
Jealousy roared not sharp, not fleeting, but deep and corrosive. I had crushed living rivals without hesitation, yet this… this Radha this invisible presence was untouchable. A name. A ghost. A divinity that had already claimed what I believed was mine.
"You think this makes you strong?" I asked, my smile trembling as I pulled your face lower, our lips nearly brushing. My eyes burned into yours, unblinking. "You think your divine love is protecting you?"
"Yes, it is." He said calmly.
My voice dropped.
"If you won't eat, I'll feed you myself."
My fingers tightened.
"If you won't drink, I'll press the water to your lips until you swallow."
My breath shook.
"You don't get to die, Manu. Your life doesn't belong to you anymore."
I slid my hands down to your chest, feeling the steady, infuriating rhythm beneath my palm.
A heart beating for a name I could not remove.
"You reject materialistic warmth?" I hissed, clutching your shirt. "Fine. Then feel the warmth of my obsession."
My nails dug into the fabric.
"Let's see how long your spirit stays in the clouds when your body is screaming for water. Let's see if your Radha steps down from her pedestal when your heart starts to fail."
I kissed you then.
Hard.
Desperate.
Not affection but war.
A claim.
A brand.
I wanted to taste the name you were chanting and tear it out of you.
He coughed and wiped his lips.
When I pulled back, my eyes were wet, lashes clumped with frustrated, furious tears.
"I will sit here," I said hoarsely. "Right here on this floor."
I lowered myself against the door, my body blocking the only exit.
"I won't sleep. I won't leave. I won't look away."
My smile broke beautiful, shattered, terrifying.
"If you starve for her, then I'll starve with you."
I looked up at you, eyes shining with devotion twisted into madness.
"We'll see who loves you more."
"A Goddess who lives in your head…"
Or..
"The woman willing to crawl into hell just to hold your hand."
I rested my head back, still watching you.
"Chant her name, Manu," I whispered. "Say it. Scream it."
My voice softened, certain.
"But when the days pass and your strength fades…"
"You'll realize she isn't the one holding you."
"I am."