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Chapter 18 - A Headband and a Safe Desk Job (Naruto)!

"....."

Suzuki stared down at the shiny metal plate resting in the palm of his hand. The leaf symbol of Konoha was deeply engraved into the steel. He let out a long, quiet, and profoundly helpless sigh.

He was officially a ninja. Starting today, his primary career path is to make a living by killing people.

"What's wrong, Suzuki-kun? Are you overwhelmed with happiness?"

Iruka looked down at Suzuki with a gentle, incredibly proud smile. The academy instructor was genuinely thrilled for the boy. Despite being a civilian-born orphan with zero clan backing, Suzuki had graduated at the absolute top of his class.

Frankly, Iruka had never even imagined that a commoner could defeat a prodigy from an elite noble family like Sasuke Uchiha. Suzuki had completely shattered the academy's status quo. Looking at the calm, brilliant boy, Iruka couldn't help but be reminded of a certain legendary ninja who had also risen from humble, civilian origins to become the greatest Hokage in Konoha's history.

(If anyone actually knew what Iruka was thinking, they would have snorted. Suzuki was a long way from reaching the Fourth Hokage's level.)

Yet, Iruka couldn't shake the feeling. He felt like he was witnessing the dawn of someone truly great. As a fellow average ninja, Iruka felt a deep sense of kinship. Suzuki was a beacon of hope; living proof that through sheer hard work and ingenuity, a commoner could stand above the elites.

"Yes. Thank you, Sensei," Suzuki replied, offering a polite, perfectly practiced smile.

Suzuki didn't bother to correct Iruka's romanticized misunderstanding. If anyone actually knew the truth—that he was deeply unhappy about graduating, that he had zero desire to become a glorified child mercenary, and that he despised doing the dirty work the village elites refused to touch—he would probably be sent to the psychiatric ward.

But Suzuki also knew the brutal reality of this world. When you are born in a ninja village, there is no other viable career path. You either become a ninja or you starve in the civilian slums.

Whatever, Suzuki thought, tying the headband around his arm. I'll try to get into a desk job in the logistics department as soon as possible.

He wasn't sure who he was going to be teamed up with yet, but he desperately prayed they were reasonable, logical people who just wanted to collect their paychecks and go home safely. He did not have the energy to babysit reckless, hot-blooded idiots.

"Congratulations, Suzuki-kun."

Hinata stepped up beside him, offering a gentle, radiant smile.

"Thank you, Hinata," Suzuki replied smoothly.

Even though her terrifying father had broken into his house and threatened him just last night, Suzuki's expression didn't waver in the slightest. He knew perfectly well he hadn't done anything wrong. The world of Naruto was brutally realistic for a commoner like him. He didn't have the invincible plot armor of someone like Naruto, whose father was secretly the Fourth Hokage. He had to play his social cards flawlessly.

"You're being way too slow! Let's go celebrate!"

Ino suddenly appeared, not caring in the slightest about interrupting his moment with Hinata. She grabbed his arm, practically vibrating with excitement. "You officially passed! It's party time!"

"Okay, let's go! BBQ time!" Choji cheered, immediately materializing at the mention of food.

Shikamaru slouched behind them, aggressively scratching the back of his head. "What a drag..."

"Eh? Did I even invite you two?" Ino blinked, looking at her future teammates in genuine confusion.

"..." Choji and Shikamaru simply stared at her.

Unsurprisingly, all the heirs and heiresses from the major clans had easily passed the exam. It was politically impossible for them to fail.

However, as the crowd shifted, Suzuki felt a sharp, burning gaze drilling into the side of his head. Sasuke Uchiha was glaring at him with raw, unadulterated hostility.

Suzuki let out a long, exhausted sigh. He turned fully to face the brooding Uchiha, his voice carrying clearly across the courtyard.

"If you have something to say, Sasuke, just say it. Don't act like a coward glaring at me from a distance. I am right here. I'm not running away."

"....."

The surrounding genin instantly fell dead silent, staring at the confrontation.

"You can try to attack me from the shadows later if you want," Suzuki continued calmly, his dark eyes locking onto the Sharingan user. "But the result will be exactly the same. I will still be the victor."

While Hinata and Ino looked at Suzuki with absolute stars in their eyes, the boys looked at him in shock. It was an incredibly bold, manly declaration. Instead of apologizing or acting intimidated, Suzuki had stared down the elite clan heir and ruthlessly asserted his dominance.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, his pride violently rejecting the insult. He forcibly suppressed his killing intent and glared back with cold fury.

"I don't need to attack you from the back!" Sasuke snapped. "I will defeat you fairly, face-to-face! I am going to be the best, and I will crush you!"

Leaving those venomous words hanging in the air, Sasuke spun on his heel and stormed off with an angry huff.

Suzuki folded his arms, entirely unthreatened.

"That was an incredibly smart move," Shikamaru murmured, walking up beside him. "By publicly calling him out like that, you effectively blocked him from ambushing you in the dark."

It was a flawless psychological trap. By explicitly suggesting that Sasuke might use a sneak attack, Suzuki had weaponized the Uchiha's arrogant pride. Sasuke's ego would never allow him to win through an ambush now; he was mentally locked into fighting Suzuki in a fair, honorable duel.

Suzuki glanced at Shikamaru, his expression perfectly deadpan. "I am just an orphaned commoner, Shikamaru. He is the prince of the noble Uchiha clan. I have to manage my risks."

"..." Shikamaru chuckled quietly.

Yup, Shikamaru thought. Suzuki might be an orphan, but his emotional intelligence and tactical foresight were absolutely terrifying. He operated with the calculating mind of a veteran adult.

"Damn that Sasuke!" Ino fumed, clenching her fists. "Don't worry, Suzuki-kun! I'll tell my father about him!"

"Don't do that, Ino," Suzuki said, his voice dropping into a firm, reassuring tone. "This is a problem between men. Don't get yourself involved in it."

"Hmn~!" Ino practically melted on the spot, her face turning bright red.

"...." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. What a drag...

Still, Shikamaru heavily respected Suzuki. The boy perfectly understood the rigged game they were playing. Shikamaru knew that due to his own family's massive influence, he would eventually be pushed to the top of the village's tactical hierarchy. When that day came, he was going to need an incredibly smart, utterly pragmatic ally he could genuinely trust.

Deciding to help secure his future investment, Shikamaru deliberately stepped forward and gave Ino a "clumsy" shove right into Suzuki's chest.

"Ah!"

Ino stumbled forward, but Suzuki instantly reached out, catching her smoothly by the waist.

"Are you okay, Ino?" Suzuki asked, shooting Shikamaru a profoundly helpless, annoyed glare.

"Ah! Um, yes!" Ino squeaked, her face practically glowing as she rested perfectly comfortably in his embrace. She quickly changed her mind. "Ah, actually, no! I feel a little faint! I think I need to rest here for just a little bit, Suzuki-kun!"

"..."

The rest of the group watched the shameless display in silence.

Shikamaru nodded to himself, highly satisfied with his own tactical matchmaking. But a split second later, a terrifying, suffocating chill ran straight up his spine.

He slowly turned his head.

Hinata was staring directly at him. Her face was completely blank. A small, gentle, absolutely lifeless smile was plastered across her lips. Her pale eyes promised a slow, agonizing death.

"...."

SCARY!

Shikamaru's lazy demeanor instantly vanished. He violently scrambled backward, using Choji's massive body as a human meat shield to hide from the Hyuga heiress's silent wrath.

Before the situation could escalate into a bloodbath, the heavy wooden doors of the academy opened.

"Uzumaki Naruto..." Iruka's voice echoed out, filled with heavy disappointment. "...you have failed."

"..."

Suzuki sighed. Just as his tactical Manager had predicted, the canon plot was marching forward without a hitch.

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