-----
I woke up early to news that the exam results had finally been released. I didn't pay much attention; I brushed it off and dragged myself out of bed to head to the salon.
The salon was packed that morning. I managed to find a chair in the corner and settled in, scrolling through my phone and watching dramas to pass the exhausting wait. When my turn finally came, I sat at the washbasin. The warm water felt relaxing at first, but under the dryer, the heat became unbearable. Wanting to leave as quickly as possible, I paid and headed straight home.
When I arrived, my mom asked me to accompany her to the market. I didn't feel up to it, but then I remembered I needed to buy fabric for tomorrow's church celebration. I murmured a quiet "alright," grabbed the bags, and stepped out into the scorching sun.
The market was sweltering and crowded. We navigated through the bustling crowd, moving from store to store for foodstuffs, meat, and other necessities. I reminded my mom about the fabric I needed, and she shot me a quick look before saying, "Let's go." The first shop had what I wanted, but the price was far too high. We moved on, checking three more stalls until we finally found a seller who agreed to 4,000 Naira. By then, my eyes were stinging from exhaustion. I sat on a low bench to rest while my mom paid for the cloth.
Although I had planned to go for choir practice earlier, it became impossible as I had to prepare dinner and cook the stew for tomorrow's food. As I worked in the kitchen, my younger sister walked in smiling, drawn by the mouth-watering aroma she smelled outside.
"Go wash your hands and come eat," I told her.
Five minutes later, I served the food at our dining table. Our dining area was medium-sized, with a red refrigerator and a red dining table with six chairs. My parents sat on two, while I and my sister sat on the remaining ones. My brothers were away. After eating, I cleared the table and did the dishes. Tired, I went to my room, rested for a while, and began to study the Bible, after which I prayed like I normally did. I committed my results into God's hand and decided to check the portal right after the prayer.
I opened my phone, headed to Chrome, typed in the link to the school portal, entered my login details, and scrolled downwards to check my results.
Lo and behold, I saw a score I hadn't anticipated—I scored way lower than I read, prayed, or expected. I felt sad and overwhelmed. Yet, I prayed to God and told Him I wasn't giving up because I knew He was definitely going to do it. I then slept after crying because the result did give me a shock.
The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart, but I still prepared for church. I got to church quite early and sat among the choir where I normally sat. The priest that day was a visiting priest, and he talked about not giving up. He reminded us that sometimes God's silence isn't His absence, and His "no" isn't a rejection, but a wait.
For the first time in a long time, this touched me deeply. It felt like this message was meant just for me. I have heard You, Lord, and I will trust Your will for me, I prayed quietly. During the offertory and thanksgiving, I felt a wave of conflicting emotions. I felt sad, but I didn't want to be, so I danced and praised the Lord.
But after that, during the announcements, I felt the heavy urge to cry. Except God, there was no one—no friend to talk to about what I was going through. I sat in a daze and watched the announcer give his announcements. After church, we were asked to visit a member who had given birth. I waited for my mom, who was in a meeting, and then we headed home. When I got home, I joined my mom to cook—or rather, my mom joined me. Whichever way, we finished cooking, and we all ate.
I slumped on the bed and slept for a while. When I woke up, I felt so sad that I just lay on the bed and scrolled through my phone. I decided to watch a movie to make me laugh, but then my mom came back and asked me to wash the dishes used earlier in the day. I felt very sad, but nevertheless, I went inside the kitchen. I kept my phone on a shelf to watch the movie, but while washing the dishes, I felt like crying. I couldn't hold back my tears, so I cried for a little bit and then continued with the dishes.
I finally finished washing the dishes in the sink, went to my room, and had my Bible study and prayer session again. This time, I told God that I trusted in His plans and wanted Him to help me, because the results weren't what I had prepared for. In the quietness, I heard a gentle voice in my mind saying my admission is secured. I knew it was the voice of the Lord, but thoughts and doubts still lingered. I was tired, yet still thinking about what I had done wrong. I couldn't figure anything out, so instead of overthinking, I slept off immediately after the prayer, resting my heart in His hands.