"So, I went to school today." I said softly as I sat down in the chair," Rode the bus too, it was crumby without you. The whole day was actually."
I was sitting on a chair next to Lucas's bed in the hospital, the early afternoon sun was shining from the window. The light touched Lucas's gaunt frame and I almost felt sad about his skinny body, which was mirroring mine when I'd woken up. Not to say Lucas looked ugly, he still had a good face, and when he woke up, I was sure he'd be fine again.
I hope.
"You know," I layed my chin on my palms and sighed," I really don't like what happened. I'm scared, that thing , what happened was really real, and I'm starting to think it might kinda have been not my imagination too. But that means I died and you're not really here, but in... hell."
Groaning in frustration I tossed his hair gently," I wish you were here, cause I don't know what to do. Actually that's not true, I do I think, find those cards right? I just really don't want to. What if something else happens? Like I go to heaven and I'm stuck there? Or go to hell too? Guess that won't be too bad, I'd be able to find you atleast."
"Truth is," I looked around to make sure no one was listening," I think I saw the guy, from New York, with the really really really bashed up face. Atleast I think I saw him, I heard his voice and went to the restroom, and then I felt like someone was behind me. Then, blink, no one there, nothing."
"I can't- don't know what happened, but I got this cut on my hand and it was a scar, then gone. It's crazy, it's all crazy, I hate that so much! I want it to make sense, to be something normal, not this." I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath," But, it's here, and I can't just ignore it anymore. I'm scared, but I'm sure you're scared too, if you're in hell."
I hoped not.
I took his hand and felt it's warmth, which was twice that of the rooms," I'm sorry I spent the whole week focused on me and just lying to myself that everything would be okay, that we would be okay if I did nothing. I'm done okay? I'm gonna do stuff, like find the cards and see if they can do something."
"I promise, Lucas, I won't let you down." I vowed and smiled reassuringly at his still face," Also, I wish they'd stop giving your hair a trim, you'll totally hate it when you wake up."
I got up and turned around, ready to not go home but Lucas's house, to find the cards. Barely had I taken two steps out the door, than I rushed back in and whispered in his ear.
"Also, Bradley is in the hospital too, apparently with a broken arm and leg, from like a car accident he had at his party two weekends back. The one we weren't invited too, so yeah, I was going to visit him." I raised my hands hurriedly," Wait, before you tell me how that's a bad idea, he's injured and everybody got a chance to visit him. I'm just showing school spirit and kindness, cool? Great, bye!"
I rushed out of there (not literally since that wasn't allowed) and made it to the room where Bradley was supposed to be at. Taking a few calming breaths, I fixed my hair a bit and checked my breath and it was decent enough.
I was doing this to be a good schoolmate, I thought righteously.
"Hello future husband." I whispered softly to myself and put on a vibrant smile as I knocked on the door," Hello, Bradley?"
"Who is there?" A voice replied.
A female voice!
"Oh I'm sorry, I was looking for Bradley Quincy's room." I replied prepared to leave.
Did I pick the wrong room? I wondered, this was where Cindy came from last time.
"Oh, come in. This is his room." The female voice spoke and I felt that it sounded familiar somehow.
I didn't hesitate but opened the door with a smile on my face, and the smile crumbled when I saw what was inside the room.
Bradley Quincy, star quarter back and rated most popular guy in our grade was on his bed, propped up by cords and machines. His left leg, arms and chest in a cast, whilst a wad of bandages covered his whole head. His eyes and nose were visible, whilst braces were attached to his jaw, a pipe was under it, going into his throat.
The pipe was attached to a respirator, helping him breath for he could not breath himself. Machines were around him, far more than had been for me and Lucas, each one the only thing separating Bradley from the embrace of death. His body, what was visible, had scrapes and stitches, and I could barely imagine what he'd looked like when he first came here.
The image of my blonde haired, blue eyed strong jock was shattered in a breath.
"Excuse me, hello dear? Who are you?" A middle aged woman spoke up from a chair next to Bradley's bed, she had platinum blonde hair, wearing a pink and cream wool jacket and cream pants with heeled shoes.
"What... happened to him?" I asked in a whisper, my everything was all focused on the man in the bed looking close to a mummy than a human being.
"I'm guessing you're a schoolmate, though a bit rude." She said softly and with a raised brow," He had a car accident, him and two of his friends decided to go for a joy ride after his party. He took his father's sports car and went out, but something happened with the car and... only Bradley survived."
"Oh my Glob." I lost my strength and put a hand on the wall," I-i didn't even know it was this bad. Cindy looked so fine when she left, I didn't think it was this bad."
"Bad? It's more than bad. He's... He's never going to wake up." She said with a quivering voice," The doctors said he's brain dead. His mother and father are going to get him off life support tommorow."
"What? But it's only been two weeks right?!" I couldn't believe they would do that to their son.
"He's already seen three of the best doctors they could get and they say the brain damage is too severe, even if he woke up, he'd either be a vegetable or an invalid." She turned to me," That's not something they want. Neither would he I'm sure, a football star."
"I... I have to go." My hand reached for the door, tears forming in my eyes," I'm so sorry."
I had to get out of there! This was too much too soon!
"Of course. Don't you want to say goodbye first, regrets are not something young people should have, if they can." She said kindly and I bit my fist to stop myself from crying outright.
Say goodbye?
I can't, I couldn't do it!
This was the guy I'd had a crush on for years, he was my everything other than Mom and Lucas, even though I'd barely spoken to him. The childish thoughts of our wedding, our life together, all of it would vanish if I said goodbye. First Lucas and now Bradley, the blows to my heart were becoming executions of all my happiness.
What if it was Lucas there, I demanded from myself, would you just nod and walk out?
Go, I told myself, do it. If you liked him, say goodbye, you have to.
You need to!
"I-i okay." I walked closer to the bed, each step an effort equal in pain to child labour without the promise of joy.
The beeping sounds grew more pronounced as I drew closer, sounds that I'd been able to ignore after a week of visiting Lucas were now as loud as jet engines. My throat felt dry as his form drew closer, until I finally stood next to him and my left hand was gripping my right hand tightly to stop myself running away.
I had to do this. I didn't want to, but I had to!
"Bye... B-Bradely." I said softly," I'll miss you, as will everyone at school. They'll miss you alot. A whole lot. And I... I'm sorry, I missed your party. I'm sure it was awesome, but I was unconscious, so yeah. We had that in common atleast. I'm sorry, goodbye."
"What's your name de- wait!" She tried to call me back but I was already out the door and running away, tears in my eyes.
When I got outside I ran faster still, I had to run fast, faster than death, because if it came for Bradley, then what if it came for Lucas?
I won't lose him, I thought hard and angry, I won't lose my best friend!
Five minutes later I sat in the back of the bus, my fists clenched and a determined expression on my face.
The old lady next to me kept glancing my way, as if wanting to ask something but at the last moment decided against it. Ten minutes later, two more passengers joined near us, and they two kept glancing my way, unsure if they should say something.
In the end, the old lady was the one to speak up.
"Umm, dear, here you go." She said to me and pulled out a handkerchief.
"Oh, thank you." I said with a quivering voice.
"Not to be rude, but are you okay?" She asked me.
"Yes, why do you ask?" I said slowly.
"Well, dear, you've been crying since you got on the bus. I didn't want to say anything at first, because you also looked ready to kill someone, but I just couldn't watch you waste tears." She said and I nodded my head and closed my eyes.
I closed my red rimmed eyes, still leaking tears like a broken faucet and my nose sniffling like a kid with allergies with a flower bouquet.
"I'm okay." I said with my eyes closed.
"Are you sure?" She asked and I sobbed softly.
"Yes, couldn't be better." I said with repressed weeping," This is my stop."
"Okay, as long as you say you're alright. Oh, no, keep the handkerchief. You have a little something on your nose."
"Thank you." I got off the bus and continued to run.
Had I looked back, I would have seen the old lady take out a rose and pluck the petals off, then toss them out the window. The bus moved on, as the petals rose up into the air and were blown by the wind, blown in the same direction I was going.
"Follow the crumbs dear," the old lady said as her eyes turned green for a moment.
The bus drove on, and all the people were unaware of who was on it with them.
...
Barely had Lily put the pie in the oven than a thunderous knock started on her door.
"What in the name of Jesus?" She frowned as she hurriedly walked to the door and opened it," Sarah?"
"I... need to go... to Lucas's room?" I breathed out, my throat felt like it was on fire.
Running five blocks is no joke!
"Well, and a hello to you too " She crossed her arms and gave me a hard look.
"I-i am sorry. Good afternoon Mrs Johnson. How are you?" I said slowly.
"I am good, thank you. Come in and tell me what you need, like a proper lady." Mrs Johnson left and I entered the house and closed the door.
Sniff! Sniff!
"Did you bake cakes?" I asked her with a hungry look in my eyes, I'd eaten my lunch when I visited Lucas and that running earlier had made me build quite an appetite.
"Cupcakes, for the store, since you're here you can send these to your mother later." She said as she walked back into the kitchen," Now, what made you run here?"
"How'd you know I was running?"
"The gasping, the red face, the look like you're about to pass out. Oh honey, sit down and I'll serve you up some leftovers from breakfast. Blue berry pancakes and some sausages." She smiled as I quickly sat and stared wide eyed at the kitchen expectantly," You're every bit like Lucas when he was a kid, age is a number indeed."
"Is Mr Johnson here too?" I asked suddenly and her smile grew tighter.
"No, it's still early, he doesn't get off his shift for an hour or two." She said softly as she came with a plate of food," Here you go, dig in, with a fork not your face. I remember that day you gobbled up the cakes with your hands behind our backs."
"It was a bet, and I won." I replied with a happy smile," Oh, I almost forgot, I want to go see Lucas's room. I left some... picture cards up there, on that day."
"Oh, those. Mh-mm." She put her hands on her hips," Now, I was hoping you'd forget because I didn't want to bring it up, but what were you two doing with those things?"
"I got them at the Fair, this woman was selling them." I told a truth and she frowned at me, and lifted the plate of food!
"Young lady, you better stop lying to me, ain't no woman selling devil cards in this town."
"Okay, okay, she wasn't from here, she said she was from out of town and me and Lucas were just toying with them, please give me food." I begged and she sighed softly.
"Kids should not be taking things from strangers, nor hide it from your parents. Does your mother know you had those things?" She asked and I just ate meekly," Yep, as I thought, she doesn't. Those things ain't good for the soul, but young people think they know better."
She walked to the kitchen and opened a drawer, pulled out the deck of tarot cards and placed them on the table.
"You're lucky I found them, because if it had been Mr Johnson, oh these things would be ash." She said softly," Now, eat up and take these cupcakes to your mother at-"
"Done." I smiled widely as I handed her the empty plate.
"Oh my goodness, your appetite is back aplenty it seems. You haven't eaten this fast before, you okay?"
"Yes, I'm just hungry alot and look at me. I'm so skinny, I need to eat if I want to get back in shape." I went to the kitchen after pocketing the deck of cards," I'll take the cupcakes and give them to Mom."
"Okay honey, be careful and do not eat more than the extra two I made just incase of you." She said and I chuckled softly.
"Bye Mrs Johnson." I waved goodbye and left with the desert box.
"Bye honey, tell your mother I'll stop by at five, after visiting Lucas." She said with a sad smile.
Taking a few steps into the kitchen, she paused and frowned in consternation.
"Mmm, wasn't that girl going to school today?" She asked herself, before shrugging it off," Anna will tell me, I'm sure."