Kazuto had been walking for approximately ten minutes when he realized something deeply troubling.
"I'm… alone," he said.
Astute observation, I replied. You are the only named character currently on-screen. Congratulations.
He stopped in the middle of the dirt road. "Aren't I supposed to meet someone by now? Like, a party member? A guide? A childhood friend who's secretly important?"
Chapter two, I reminded him. You don't get emotionally significant companions until at least three near-death experiences. Them's the rules.
Kazuto opened his mouth to argue—
—and immediately tripped over a rock.
Not a magical rock. Not a cursed artifact. Just a rock. He fell face-first into the dirt.
Ah. That'll do.
"OW—!"
"ARE YOU DEAD?"
The voice was loud. Alarmingly loud.
Kazuto lifted his head to see a girl standing over him, hands clenched, eyes wide with panic. She wore light leather armor—practical, modest, and carefully designed to avoid commentary I don't feel like writing.
She looked relieved when he moved.
"Oh thank the Goddess," she said. "I thought you were another fake protagonist."
Kazuto blinked. "Another what?"
Oh no, I sighed. She's genre-aware. This is going to be exhausting.
"I'm Lira," the girl said quickly. "Adventurer. Part-time monster hunter. Full-time disappointment to my village."
"Wow," Kazuto said. "That was… very honest."
"I skip the tragic backstory until later," Lira replied. "No point dumping it all in the introduction."
Kazuto stared at her.
Then slowly, carefully, he turned his head upward.
"Hey," he said. "Narrator?"
What.
"She knows, doesn't she?"
Lira waved. "Hi, Narrator."
…
I don't likeher.
They walked together toward the village—because of course there was a village nearby. There's always a village nearby. Economically, it makes no sense, but here we are.
"So," Kazuto said, trying to sound casual, "you just… trust me enough to travel together?"
Lira shrugged. "You have protagonist posture."
"I—what?"
"You stand slightly forward, like the world owes you momentum," she said. "Plus, you tripped in a narratively significant way."
She's not wrong, I muttered.
Kazuto frowned. "Isn't it dangerous to join a random stranger?"
"Yes," Lira said cheerfully. "But statistically, the first companion has a 98% survival rate until at least the midpoint."
"That's… oddly specific."
"I read the genre."
Stop reading the genre, I snapped. It makes my job harder.
Lira tilted her head. "Your job is already hard. This story's pacing is a mess."
I considered killing her off immediately.
Unfortunately, she had not yet triggered any death flags.
They reached the village gates, where a guard looked at them suspiciously.
"Halt! State your business."
Kazuto opened his mouth.
Lira cut in. "He's the hero."
The guard froze.
"…The Chosen Hero?"
Kazuto froze.
"…I am?"
Debatable, I said.
The guard immediately knelt. "Welcome! Please accept this free lodging, emotional validation, and lightly foreshadowed responsibility!"
Kazuto leaned toward Lira. "You just did that."
She smiled. "Companion perk. I accelerate plot convenience."
I hate everything, I thought.
That night, at the inn, Kazuto lay awake staring at the ceiling.
"So," he whispered, "we're really doing this. Traveling together. Fighting monsters. Narrative bonding."
"Yep," Lira said from the other bed. "Don't worry. I won't steal the spotlight."
Lie, I said flatly.
Kazuto hesitated. "Hey, Narrator?"
What now.
"Be honest. Is she going to betray me?"
Lira laughed. "Please. Betrayal arcs come later."
She's right, I said. But statistically speaking—
"—don't answer that," Kazuto groaned.