I am Allan.
My life's being shitty and I would love to think that I have shouldered a great deal of this world's problems.
My parents died serving in the military and I did not get to see their bodies. It was a close-casket funeral.I am not sure their bodies were even retrieved.
And before I knew it, I was bundled up and sent to an orphanage with all my belongings in a box. Tiny, pitiful, blue box.
I despise it so much. It is the only thing that ties me to a life with parents. A happy mom and a quiet father, two very rare sights these days. In contrast to the gloom that has constantly surrounded me since then.
I look at the worn-out bag and I cannot help but try to count the number of restitching I have had to do on the zip. The material close to the zip has already worn out due to the constant sewing.
I can see a green thread, a blue one and even black. I thought if I used more of the black thread that it would cover the other colours that had been used to fix the zipper. Turns out, it would make the whole thing messy.
And when I had finally thought about losing the old thread, the material had worn out that It was the old thread holding the thing together.
I sigh in frustration as I wait for the bus.
I hate poverty.
"What do you think would happen to us?" Yaagnar asks as he stoops down, hands on his knees as he leans on a pillar of the orphanage.
I look at him, his messy hair flying about in the wind as he stared at me waiting for a response.
"When are you going to get a haircut?" I ask as I bite my lip out of habit and stare at the busy street.
"That's not the answer to my question." Yaagnar replies with a hiss as he kicks the dust with his foot.
"Yaagnar!" I quietly call out through my clenched teeth as I close my eyes and bury my face in my palms.
I don't know why he chooses the worst moments to be naughty.
I can hear him slide down and feel his breath in my hair eager to see my next reaction as he laughs out loud.
"I love the way you say my name. YaaGnar." He said as he emphasized the G trying to replicate my enunciation.
I don't give in as I sit up, staring daggers at him.
"Is that all you are going to do?" Yaagnar taunts. "Stare at me?" He said as he beat his chest and pounced around.
"By the way, I love your accent." He said as he collapsed next to me , breathing heavily due to the physical exercise he just exerted.
He had said that same sentence countless times. I don't think he bothers paraphrasing it anymore.
"Why are you following me to Necroforce?" I asked him as I stared at the passengers on the sidewalk as his breath filled the silence.
I don't want to look at him, I know he'll be staring at me. I still find it uncomfortable but I have pointed it countless times to his notice that I just let it slide.
"School is boring and there are not many people crazy enough to go on this path.
I mean, how can I go for such an adventure with no one to experience it with?"
I turned to see if he was joking about it but he looked serious. He had a serious expression on his face but he was too close.
I shift and lean away. "But you could die." I blurt out as I scratch my head.
Yaagnar chuckles and pushes me with his elbow. "What life is left for us here? You know well that we won't fit in a normal day job. We are too stubborn to be told what to do and that would cost us our careers in corporate.
Hell, to get a degree we'll need money but Maelstrom does not give handouts for a college degree saying 'there are many of you wee lads to send some of you to uni.'
I checked for other scholarship opportunities but I have to sell my soul…"
He said with a bitter smile.
"And guess what?" He asked as he leaned in.
"I don't know and I need my space." I say as I pull back irritated.
"I already sold it to Maelstrom. She's got the whole thing, for what?! I did not even get the bloody highschool diploma!!"
I stand up as I see him getting aggressive. "You still can."
"It's useless, all Maelstrom can offer is a diploma. Don't you fucking understand!"
"Then have it, I have mine…" I try to reason with him.
"And where has it gotten you? A cashier job that can't raise enough money to drop as down payment for a bloody apartment. And you had the best result in Orion for crying out loud.
You have to go to Necroforce because you don't have enough money for a down payment at a decent place nor do you have enough to get a degree to start a life.
And guess what your situation is better than mine. I don't have good grades, I have no work experience, no money, no affiliations. I took my shot at Maelstrom and all they did was brand me. Fucking branded me like livestock!!"
"Yaagnar I really want to help but I perceive you are under the influence. And I don't want things to escalate." I say bluntly asI cannot find other words to describe what was happening.
"Bro, I'm clean. I don't do that. Have some faith in me." Yaagnar complained as he plummeted to the little stairs at the entrance of Maelstrom Orphanage where we were seated.
"I am sorry." I say as I bite my lips again but this time out of frustration. "I forgot I am not the only one who has it bad."
The silence that followed was painfully awkward and I even second-guessed my apologies. Maybe it would not have been this awkward if I had not apologized.
But this is Yaagnar for as long as I have known him.
"Actually, there's something I have always wanted to tell you." He said in a whispery tone as he drew closer.
And I could not help but notice the bus I had been waiting for.
"Finally, pack and bid this place farewell." I say as I get my trusted blue box ready for this journey. Whatever Yaagnar had to say could wait.