Sunlight streamed through the windows, stabbing ruthlessly into Long Xiaoyao's eyelids. He groaned, instinctively reaching out to cover his face, but his arm felt heavy, drained of all strength.
Beside him is an empty bed. Mo Qingqui has long left his bedchambers
"Cultivators are really different from mortals"
[Congratulations, Host!]
[Achievement Unlocked: "Flower Plucker"]
[Description: You have successfully graduated from your virginity. Welcome to adulthood.]
Long Xiaoyao sat up, the silk sheets sliding off his chest. He rubbed his temples, scoffing.
'System, your detection software is broken' Long Xiaoyao grumbled. 'I am not a virgin. In my past life, I was a seasoned veteran. I've navigated more jade peaks and hidden valleys the immortals here have ever seen'
[Correction: The Host's soul may be an unrestrained pervert, but this physical vessel was, until last night, untouched.]
The System's voice was as flat as ever, yet Long Xiaoyao could detect a trace of digital sneering.
[Furthermore, the System detects that the Host fell asleep after merely four rounds. Disgraceful.]
Long Xiaoyao's face flushed red. 'I didn't 'fall asleep. I entered a state of deep meditation to consolidate my cultivation!'
[Host passed out snoring. Drool was detected.]
'Shut up!'
[It is a tragic waste,] the System continued, ignoring his outburst.
[You currently possess the legendary Primordial Yang Physique. This body contains an endless reservoir of masculine energy, capable of dual cultivation that could shake the heavens. Yet, you collapsed suffering from heatstroke. A Ferrari engine inside an electric bike]
Long Xiaoyao clenched his fists, looking down at his new body. And sighed 'It's this weak body's fault. It hasn't been tempered enough. If this were my original body, I wouldn't even break a sweat! I could go ten rounds, no, a hundred rounds without panting! I was an iron mountain! A dragon among men! A true Gigolo!'
He puffed out his chest, his arrogance returning. 'You can't compare the Supreme Overlord I was to this starter kit.'
The blue screen flickered, and the text turned a violent shade of red.
[Host is advised to stop comparing this vessel to his previous one.]
'Why? Because you know I'm right?' Long Xiaoyao smirked.
[No. Because the body you are referring to has been reduced to a state resembling ground beef in a blender. It is currently a pile of unrecognizable meat paste in a plastic bag. It has zero stamina. It has zero function. So, unless you wish to inhabit a pile of gore, cease your boasting and train this body properly.]
Long Xiaoyao opened his mouth to retort, but the image the System planted in his mind was vivid and nauseating.
The arrogance drained out of him instantly. Being reminded that his previous self was literally minced meat was a sobering way to start the morning.
'Fine,' Long Xiaoyao muttered
'You win this round. What about my reward? I assume 'graduating' comes with a gift?'
[Affirmative. For taking the first step on the Path of Domination, the System is issuing a reward.]
[Reward: 3x Premium Gacha Draws.]
'Finally, you said something useful.'
"Draw!" he commanded.
The screen exploded into a kaleidoscope of colors. Orchestral music swelled epically, as three cards materialized face down. They spun with golden sparks flying
"Let's see what the Heavens have in store for a genius like me," Long Xiaoyao muttered, rubbing his hands together like a gambling addict.
"First draw. Open!"
The first card trembled. It lacked any aura or glow. It simply flipped over with a dull *thud* sound effect.
[Item: Sturdy Oak Stick]
[Rank: Trash]
[Description: A stick found in a forest. It is slightly pointy at one end. Good for poking dead things or scratching hard-to-reach places on your back.]
Long Xiaoyao stared at the crude drawing of the twig on the card. 'You... you gave me a stick? I possess the Primordial Yang Physique, and you give me firewood?'
[Luck is a variable, Host. Not every step is a leap.]
Long Xiaoyao gritted his teeth. "Whatever. Next!"
The second card began to vibrate violently. A deep, ominous hum filled Long Xiaoyao's mind, and the edges of the card ignited with a pulsating, royal purple flame. The air in the bedroom grew heavy, suffocating, as if gravity had suddenly doubled.
'Purple...' Long Xiaoyao's eyes widened, his breath hitching. 'That's... That's an Epic Tier glow!'
The card flipped.
[Technique: The Myriad Demon Celestial Scripture]
[Rank: Epic Rank]
A sinister, dark tome appeared on the card face, surrounded by weeping ghosts and celestial chains.
"Epic?!" Long Xiaoyao gasped, nearly falling off the bed. In this world, an Epic Rank technique was probably enough to start a war. It was the stuff of legends. "With this, I can—"
[WARNING!]
The text flashed aggressively, cutting off his celebration.
[The System detects that the Host is currently too weak to protect this treasure. This technique emits a specific Dao resonance that high-level demonic cultivators can smell from miles away.]
[If you attempt to cultivate this in the open, or if any elder of a demonic sect, rogue demonic cultivator, or passing demonic dog catches wind of it, you will not just be killed. They will likely extract your soul, refine your fat into oil, and turn your bones into soup]
Long Xiaoyao paled, the excitement instantly replaced by cold sweat. "So... it's a death sentence?"
[It is a hot potato. Keep it in the System Inventory until you are strong enough to stop people from turning you into soup]
"Right. Inventory. Hide it. Now." Long Xiaoyao waved his hand frantically, dismissing the purple card. He took a deep breath to steady his racing heart.
"Okay. Last one. Come on, give me something I can actually use."
The third card began to spin.
Unlike the purple flame, this card erupted with a blinding, holy light. Rays of Orange, Gold and Purple shot out from the interface, illuminating the entire room. A celestial choir seemed to hum in the background.
"Orange?..." Long Xiaoyao's jaw dropped. He shielded his eyes, peering through his fingers. 'Purple was Epic Rank... Gold should be Legendary rank and Orange must be Divine! My luck! I told you, System! The Primordial Yang luck is invincible!'
[Host, you have a Primordial Yang Physic.] Not Primodial Yang Luck.]
He stood up on the bed, laughing maniacally. "Whatever Physic or Luck it's all the same to me! Is this an ancient dragon egg!? A god-slaying sword? A pill of immortality?"
The golden light reached a crescendo, blinding him completely, before abruptly snapping out of existence. The card flipped, revealing the prize.
Long Xiaoyao froze. His laughter died in his throat. He squinted at the image.
It was brown. It was long.
It was a stick.
"..."
[Item: Branch of the World Tree (Yggdrasil)]
[Rank: Divine (Damaged)]
"System," Long Xiaoyao said, his voice trembling with suppressed rage. "You mocked me with a stick in the first draw. You terrified me with a death manual in the second. And now... You gave me another stick? A gold-ranked stick?"
[Correction: This is not a mere stick.]
'It looks like a stick! It looks exactly like the first one, just shinier!'
[Although this stick has lost its divine radiance. This is still a branch severed from the World Tree that holds up the nine realms. It possesses infinite density and durability. It is heavier than a mountain range, yet weightless to its owner.]
[Description: The ultimate blunt instrument. It cannot be bent. It cannot be broken. It cannot be burned. It channels Qi with 100% efficiency.]
[Usage: Bonk your enemies. Hard.]
Long Xiaoyao slumped back onto the mattress, staring at the golden card depicting the glorious, divine twig.
'I have an Epic Rank manual I can't read because I'll get turned into soup,' he muttered, 'and a Divine Rank weapon that looks like I picked it up from the garden to play fetch with a dog.'
[The System advises the Host to be grateful. Most cultivators would kill for a stick of this magnitude.]
Long Xiaoyao stared at the Orange card floating before him, his expression one of utter disbelief. The "stick", the Branch of the World Tree was still rotating slowly, but beneath the weapon's stats, a new window expanded, unfolding like a digital scroll.
"Wait," Long Xiaoyao squinted. As another system prompt flashed before his eyes
"A cultivation scroll? It's... a cultivation scroll is included upon getting this Divine stick?"
[Correct]
Long Xiaoyao leaned in, while the system explained to him about the cultivation manual
[Myriad Life Rebirth Art]
[Unlike Plundering techniques that strip the land bare or "Devouring" arts that leave behind a withered wasteland, the Myriad Life Rebirth is a supreme Symbiotic Cultivation Art. It is inspired by the ancient Law of the World-Tree, focusing on the concept of Harmonious Exchange]
[When a cultivator uses this technique, they become the "Sun" of a localized ecosystem. Their meridians open like the pores of a leaf, creating a massive, invisible field of Vitality Resonance]
[Instead of forcibly tearing Qi away from living things, the technique stimulates the surrounding nature trees, grass, flowers, and even spirit beasts) to reach a state of "Hyper-Photosynthesis." As the surrounding flora grows faster and releases excess spiritual oxygen, the cultivator absorbs this overflow of energy.]
[The user emits a Heartbeat of Life' that heals and strengthens the plants around them. In return for this vitality, the plants naturally shed their excess Spirit Essence, which flows into the cultivator like a river]
[Because the environment is being nurtured rather than destroyed, the energy source never runs dry. In a dense forest, the cultivation speed can be 10 to 50 times faster than standard meditation.]
Long Xiaoyao's mouth hung open.
"Ten... to fifty times faster?" he whispered, his voice cracking.
He grabbed his head, eyes widening with manic realization.
'If I go into the Forest... I won't just cultivate. I'll become the King of the Forest. The longer I sit there, the stronger the trees get. The stronger the trees get, the more energy they feed me. It's an infinite loop!'
He looked back at the image of the brown, knobbly stick with newfound reverence. He wanted to kiss it.
'I take it back," Long Xiaoyao said solemnly.
"This isn't a stick. This is my ancestor. This is my grandfather. 50 times the speed of normal meditation? With my Primordial Yang Physique... I'll reach the Foundation Establishment realm before I even finish breakfast!'
[Host, that's a good idea however… You seem to have forgotten something important….]