Date: October 16, 2011
Location: The Basement, Queens
The shower in Lloyd's apartment possessed a temperament that rivaled a nesting Hungarian Horntail, it had two settings, Liquid Nitrogen and Magma.
Lloyd stood under the scalding stream, scrubbing the sewer filth from his skin with a bar of soap. The water turned grey as it swirled down the drain, carrying with it the ammonia, the radioactive sludge, and the general indignity of the evening.
"I was an Unspeakable," Lloyd told the cracked tiles of the shower wall.
"I had a clearance level that didn't even exist on paper. I once had tea with a vampire who claimed to be the real Dracula."
The shower sputtered, spitting a burst of cold water at him as if to say, And now you live in a basement in Queens, Cope.
Lloyd turned off the tap and stepped out, wrapping a towel around his waist and walked into the main room, steam trailing off his pale skin.
Subject 42 was already asleep on top of the radiator. The Niffler had spent the last hour obsessively polishing the Stark Industries battery casing with a stolen sock. It gleamed in the dim light, a trophy of their first successful hunt.
Lloyd sat at his rickety desk. The adrenaline of the fight had faded, replaced by the deep, hollow ache of mana exhaustion. But there was a new sensation, too, a tiny spark of excitement that sat in his chest.
"System," he murmured. "Open the Shop."
The blue interface materialized. Before, the [Shop] tab had been greyed out, locked behind a chain icon. Now, the chains shattered with a silent, digital animation that Lloyd found entirely too flashy.
> [The Cosmic Emporium]
> "If it exists in the Multiverse, we can sell it to you. (No refunds)."
> Current Balance: 110 Cosmic Coins (CC).
> (Source: Level Up Bonus + First Kill Bonus)
Lloyd leaned forward, his eyes scanning the holographic rows of items. He expected to see wands, broomsticks, perhaps a nice cauldron but what he saw was chaos.
> [Featured Items - Daily Rotation]
> Vial of Hulk Blood ( diluted ): 5,000 CC
> Effect: Grants temporary strength boost + uncontrollable rage. Side effect: You turn green and lose your pants
> Basic Wand Core (Unicorn Hair): 500 CC
> Effect: A stable core for crafting a beginner wand
> Skill Book: Goblin Speak (Beginner): 200 CC
> Effect: Learn to insult people in Gobbledegook
> Bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans: 5 CC
> Effect: Food? Maybe
"Five thousand coins for blood," Lloyd scoffed. "And five hundred for a hair? The inflation in this dimension is criminal."
He looked at his balance: 110 CC
He was destitute,he couldn't afford the wand core. He couldn't even afford the Goblin language book. He was essentially window shopping at Borgin and Burkes with pocket lint. However, there was another tab blinking insistently at the top of the window.
> [Gacha - The Wheel of Fate]
> Cost: 100 CC per spin
> Prizes range from [Trash] to [Divine]
> Current Odds for Divine: 0.00001%
Lloyd stared at the spinning wheel icon.
"Gambling," he muttered. "A tax on the stupid and the desperate."
He looked around his apartment,the peeling paint, the sleeping Niffler and the battery casing.
"I am currently both," he admitted.
He needed an edge. Buying twenty bags of jellybeans wouldn't save him if the Gamma-Rats returned in greater numbers. He needed a weapon, a tool, or a guardian.
He pressed the [Spin] button.
The holographic wheel spun wildly, blurring into a rainbow of colors. Lloyd watched it with the same detached intensity he used to watch volatile potions simmer.
Click... click... click...
The wheel slowed. It passed a golden segment labeled [Phoenix Egg]. It passed a purple segment labeled [Invisibility Cloak].
It slowed to a crawl over a grey segment labeled [Used Gum].
"Do not," Lloyd threatened the air.
The wheel ticked one last time, landing on a green segment.
Ding!
> [Congratulations!]
> Item Obtained: Seed of the Devil's Snare (Mutated Variety).
> Rank: D
> Description: A magical plant that strangles anything it touches. This specific variant has adapted to urban environments and can thrive on concrete and smog.
> Note: Hates sunlight. Loves meat.
A small, heavy pouch materialized on the desk with a soft thud.
Lloyd picked it up. He loosened the drawstrings and peered inside, resting on a bed of moss was a single, pulsating seed the size of a walnut.
It was black, with faint, vein-like red lines running through it. Even as he looked at it, the seed seemed to writhe slightly, reacting to his body heat.
"Devil's Snare," Lloyd whispered, a genuine smile touching his lips for the first time in days. "Deadly, Aggressive and excellent for home security."
In the Wizarding World, possessing a Devil's Snare without a Class B license was a ticket to a hefty fine. Here? Here, there were no licenses ,there was only the jungle.
He stood up and walked to the heavy steel door of his apartment. The lock was sturdy, but Muggles had tools,drills, explosives.
He looked at the large, decorative ceramic pot in the corner of the room. It currently held a dead fern that the previous tenant had left behind. Lloyd ripped the fern out by its roots and tossed it aside.
He dug a small hole in the dry, dusty soil and placed the pulsating seed inside.
"I don't have Dragon Dung fertilizer," Lloyd told the seed softly. "But I do have ammonia and raw beef."
He poured a capful of the ammonia he'd bought earlier into the soil, nitrogen was nitrogen, after all and buried a small chunk of the leftover beef heart next to the seed.
"Grow," Lloyd commanded, pushing a tiny sliver of his regenerated mana into the soil.
Herbivicus
The soil shifted and a tendril, black and slick like oil, poked out of the dirt. It waved blindly in the air, sensing the vibrations of the room. Then another tendril followed. Within seconds, a small, writhing bush of black vines sat in the pot.
It reached for Lloyd's finger but Lloyd slapped the vine away gently. "No. I am the gardener, you eat the intruders."
The plant recoiled, then seemed to settle, its vines swaying hypnotically.
"Excellent," Lloyd said. He dragged the pot over so it sat right next to the door. Anyone who broke in would step directly into a strangling embrace.
He went back to his desk and sat down. He had 10 CC left so he was broke again.
He picked up the newspaper he had stolen from the subway earlier. He smoothed it out, looking at the picture of the man with the glowing chest again.
Tony Stark
Lloyd picked up the Stark Industries battery casing the Niffler had stolen. He turned it over in his hands. It was heavy, sleek, and surprisingly complex.
He didn't know electronics. He didn't know circuits but he looked at the casing with his Mage Sight, the passive ability that allowed wizards to see the flow of magic.
There was no magic in it but there was... intent.
The energy that had been inside this casing flowed in specific, geometric patterns. It was logic made physical.
"It's just runes," Lloyd realized, narrowing his eyes. "They use copper and gold instead of ink, and electricity instead of mana, but it's the same principle. Input, process and output." So he grabbed a screwdriver and popped the casing open.
Inside was a mess of fried wires and a cracked energy cell, to a Muggle, it was trash. Lloyd picked up his wand,no, he didn't have a wand. He picked up the copper wire he had used for his wards.
"Reparo," he whispered, focusing on the cracked cell.
Nothing happened.
"Right," Lloyd muttered. "Different laws of physics. The spell doesn't know what the original form was supposed to be."
He closed his eyes, he had to visualize it. He had to understand the purpose of the object. It was a battery. It stored power.
He focused on the concept of wholeness.
"Reparo," he said again, pushing harder.
The copper wire in his hand grew hot. A spark jumped from the wire to the battery casing
Snap
The crack in the energy cell hissed and sealed shut. It wasn't perfect, it looked like a welded scar but the structure was whole.
Lloyd stared at it.
"I can fix their technology," he realized. "They build these fragile, complex machines that break if you look at them wrong and I can fix them with a word."
He looked at the "Stark Phone" ad on the back of the newspaper. The StarkPhone 4. Starts at $699.
A slow, predatory grin spread across Lloyd's face.
"Magizoology is the passion," he whispered. "But Magical Tech Support... that is the funding."
He looked at the Niffler, who was twitching in its sleep.
"Wake up, 42," Lloyd said, kicking the leg of the table. "We are going dumpster diving again. But this time, we aren't looking for monsters. We're looking for broken phones."
The Niffler didn't wake up.
Lloyd didn't mind as he leaned back, staring at the ceiling.
He was Lloyd Nipple, he had a basement, a kleptomaniac mole, a strangling plant, and the ability to repair an iPhone with his mind.
New York wasn't ready.
Authors Note:-
No one is ready for Lloyd nipple.
Are you ?
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