Elowen POV
I dreamed of fire.
Not the wild kind that devours everything in its path—but a slow, coiling heat that wrapped around my ribs and tightened every time I tried to breathe. In the dream, I was standing at the edge of a cliff, my wrists bound in glowing sigils, my power thrumming beneath my skin like a second heart.
Kael stood behind me.
He wasn't touching me.
That was the cruelest part.
I woke with a gasp, sitting bolt upright, my chest aching as though something had been torn loose inside me.
The room was dark.
Too dark.
The wards Seris had placed around the tower flickered faintly, unstable. My skin prickled. The air felt charged—wrong, like the moment before lightning split the sky.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed, pulse racing.
Something was coming.
I didn't have time to be afraid before the pain hit.
It bloomed at my wrist, sharp and sudden, like my bones were trying to crack open from the inside. I cried out, clutching my arm as heat tore through me. The seal flared violently, white-gold light flooding the room.
"No—no, stop—"
I slid to the floor, gasping, my vision blurring.
The power surged without my permission, responding to fear, to memory, to want. I could feel it clawing upward, desperate to be released.
And then—
Strong hands caught my shoulders.
The power recoiled instantly, like a living thing recognizing something familiar.
"Breathe," Kael said.
His voice was low. Steady. Too close.
I sucked in air, choking on it. My entire body shook, every nerve screaming. Kael knelt in front of me, his grip firm but careful, as though I might shatter if he held me too tightly.
"I told you I would hear you," he said.
I wanted to scream at him.
Instead, I broke.
"I can't stop it," I whispered, humiliation burning through me. "It hurts. I don't know how to make it listen."
His jaw tightened.
"You don't command it," he said softly. "It answers emotion. And you're drowning in it."
The truth of that made my throat close.
He shifted closer, his knees bracketing mine, his presence overwhelming in the small space. I could feel the heat of him, solid and real, grounding in a way I hated needing.
"Don't touch me," I said weakly.
"I won't," he replied immediately.
And he didn't.
He hovered—close enough that I could feel him, far enough that the distance ached.
"Look at me," he said.
I didn't want to.
But I did.
His eyes were dark, not with hunger alone, but with restraint stretched so tight it bordered on pain.
"Breathe with me," he said. "In. Slowly."
I followed without thinking.
"In," he murmured.
I inhaled.
"Out."
The pain dulled slightly.
Again.
The power eased, retreating like a tide pulled back by the moon.
Tears slipped down my cheeks without permission.
"I hate this," I whispered. "I hate that you make it better."
Kael's expression fractured.
"That," he said quietly, "is my greatest sin."
The words hit harder than any accusation.
My chest hurt.
"Why do you stay?" I asked. "If you feel so guilty—why don't you let me go?"
His hands curled slowly into fists at his sides.
"Because letting you go," he said, voice rough, "does not mean letting the world spare you."
Silence wrapped around us, thick and intimate.
I was suddenly too aware of the way my knees brushed his thighs, the way my breath hitched every time his gaze flicked to my mouth and then away.
"You want me," I said before I could stop myself.
The admission hung between us, fragile and dangerous.
Kael closed his eyes.
"Yes."
The single word burned.
"But I will not take what fear gives me," he continued. "And I will not be another chain around your throat."
My body betrayed me, leaning forward just slightly.
The movement was tiny.
But he noticed.
Of course he did.
He inhaled sharply, like he was bracing himself against a blow.
"Don't," he warned, not unkindly. "If you cross that distance…I don't know if I can stop."
Fear and desire twisted together in my chest.
I stayed where I was.
That restraint—his restraint—made my stomach ache with something dangerously close to longing.
"Stay," I whispered, hating myself for it. "Just… don't touch me."
Kael nodded once.
"I'll stay," he said. "Until the shaking stops."
And he did.
Kael POV
Holding back was agony.
She was inches away, trembling, her power curling around her like a living flame that wanted release. Every instinct I had screamed to anchor her—to pull her against me, to let her feel how solid she was not.
I didn't.
Because the moment I touched her, it would become something else.
Something she wasn't ready for.
She looked at me like I was both salvation and threat, and the guilt nearly crushed me.
"I never wanted this," I said quietly, more to myself than to her. "I wanted you safe. Unscarred."
She laughed softly, brokenly. "You should see me now."
I wanted to kneel before her.
Instead, I stayed still.
The cult would come again.
Soon.
And when they did, restraint might no longer be enough.
But for this moment—this fragile, unbearable closeness—I would endure the pain of wanting.
Because her trust, slowly earned, would mean more than possession ever could.
And if the world tried to take her again—
I would burn it to ash.