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🪷 LYRA 🪷
Everything stopped when he leaned his head closer. Lyra's heart nearly jumped out of her chest.
Her fingers tightened on his shirt without her permission. Her brain completely shut down.
She should push him away, she really should. Her pulse was out of control. Warning, heart at risk.
Right before the slight distance between could disappear, he chuckled.
"Expecting a kiss?" he asked, in a low voice, barely above a whisper.
Her brain short-circuited.
"What?" she blurted, completely flustered.
His eyebrow lifted slightly. There was the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes now. .
"You looked like you were waiting for something," he added calmly.
Her face burned.
"I-what? No!" she stammered immediately. Without thinking, she shoved him back.
He stepped back easily, barely affected, but he didn't look away from her.
"I wasn't expecting anything," she rushed out, mortified. "I was scared, okay? The lights went off and I couldn't see and I just grabbed you because...because it was dark!"
Her words kept tumbling over themselves. "And you were right there! That's it. That's literally it. It's not that deep."
"So you weren't thinking about it?"
"What? No, I wasn't!"
"Mm."
She narrowed her eyes. "What does 'mm' mean?"
"It means," he said, slipping his hands into his pockets again, "you're very defensive for someone who claims she wasn't thinking about it."
Her mouth opened, closed, then opened again.
"You're impossible," she muttered.
"And you're easy to read."
"I am not."
"You are," he replied simply. "You overthink out loud and you blush."
Her eyes widened. "I do not blush."
"You are right now."
Her hand flew to her face automatically. He wasn't wrong.
She groaned under her breath. "This is so embarrassing."
He stepped back, creating the normal amount of distance that's supposed to be.
"Stay away from all these. What happened with Eloise has nothing to do with you."
"You-"
"If you go looking for things you don't understand," he said evenly, "you won't like what you find. And if you stay away, then...maybe you'll be safe."
"This isn't about safety," she said. "It's about the truth." She exhaled slowly. "You think I'll drop it."
"For an awful reason, I know you won't."
"Then why warn me?"
For a second, he didn't answer.
"Because I'd rather you hate me than get..." He said, almost to himself.
"Than get what?"
"Nothing," he said immediately and turned away. "Go back to your dorm, Lyra."
She stood there, staring at his back.
---
The next day was just as normal as it should be.
Lyra kept replaying what happened with Kieran anyway. "Expecting a kiss?"
Her face heated just thinking about it. She shook the thought away as she walked across the courtyard. That was when she spotted him. Xavier.
He was sitting under one of the large trees near the back lawn, away from the main paths. One leg stretched out, the other bent. A cigarette rested between his fingers.
He looked…alone. After last night, she should probably avoid both of them.
Instead, she walked toward him. He noticed her before she reached him but didn't say anything.
She stopped a few feet away. "I didn't know you smoke."
He took a slow drag before answering. "That's because you don't know me."
She frowned slightly but sat down beside him anyway, leaving a small space between them.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. The smell of smoke lingered in the air.
"You always sit here?" she asked.
"Sometimes."
He didn't look at her right away. Just stared ahead at the lawn.
"Are you going home on visiting day?" he asked suddenly.
She blinked. "Visiting day?"
That made him glance at her properly. "You don't know?"
"No."
He took another drag, then flicked ash to the side. "It's in two days. Maximum three days off-campus. Most students go home."
She stared at him. "No one told me."
"It's posted in the main building."
"I don't check the main board every hour."
He gave a small shrug. "Now you know."
She watched the smoke curl into the air. "So everyone just… leaves?"
"For three days." He leaned his head back slightly against the tree. "Some don't."
"Why?"
"Nowhere to go," he said. "Or too far. Some families don't bother coming."
"Oh."
There was something about the way he said it that made her look at him longer than necessary.
"Are you going?" she asked.
He didn't answer immediately. Instead, he lifted the cigarette to his lips again, inhaled, then exhaled slowly.
"Yeah," he said finally. "Probably. It depends."
"On what?"
"Whether there's something to go back to."
She nodded slowly. "I guess I'll go too."
"You guess?"
"I didn't even know about it," she reminded him. He hummed in response. "I haven't been able to reach my aunt since I got here. If I can't even reach her, how am I supposed to coordinate anything?"
"You don't look bothered."
"What am I supposed to do? March into the director's office and demand better reception?" She folded her hands in her lap. "So if someone wanted to leave… they couldn't just leave."
"They can," he said calmly. "On visiting day."
"And if it's urgent?"
He gave her a look. "Then it goes through administration."
He stubbed the cigarette out against the ground and dropped the remains into a small metal case in his pocket.
She glanced at him. "You smoke often?"
"Sometimes."
"That's not good for you."
"Thanks for the health lecture."
"I wasn't lecturing."
"You were about to."
She rolled her eyes slightly. "You assume a lot."
He leaned his head back against the tree again. "You talk a lot."
She opened her mouth to respond, then stopped. Fair.
Students walked past in the distance, laughing. No one paid them much attention.
She didn't realize how close they were sitting until he shifted. And then, without warning, he leaned sideways, placing his head on her shoulder.
"What are you doing?" she asked immediately, voice low but startled.
"I'm tired," he said simply.
Her heart started racing again and not in the same way it had with...Kieran. This felt different.
"You can't just-" she started.
"Relax."
Her shoulder felt warm where his head rested. She could feel the weight of it.
"What if someone sees?" she whispered.
"So?"
"So?" she repeated. "I don't want to be the center of attention again if someone takes a picture."
"I don't care," he said calmly. "Let them."
"That's easy for you to say."
"Is it?"
She glanced down at him. His eyes were closed.
"You're really just going to… stay like that?" she asked.
"For five minutes," he replied. "Then I'll move."
"Why five?"
"Because that's how long I need."
Her shoulder was still tense. She tried to relax it slowly, carefully.
"If this ends up on some stupid academy page, I'm blaming you," she muttered.
He let out a faint huff that might have been a quiet laugh.
"Fine."
She didn't know what to do with her hands. Let them hang awkwardly? Fold them? Push him off? Instead, she kept them in her lap.
"You're heavy," she complained lightly.
"I know."
She stared ahead at the courtyard, hyper-aware of his breathing against her shoulder.
"I'm going to reek of smoke."
"You complain a lot."
"I do not complain a lot."
"You've complained three times in the last minute."
A group of girls walked past about twenty feet away. One of them glanced in their direction and whispered to the other.
"People look at everything, don't be so tense."
"That doesn't mean I want to give them something to look at."
He shifted slightly, adjusting the angle of his head on her shoulder. The movement made her breath hitch.
"Why are you even doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"This." She gestured awkwardly with one hand, careful not to knock his head. "Using me as furniture."
A faint smile tugged at his mouth. She could see it from the corner of her eye.
"I said I'm tired."
"You could've rested anywhere."
"I am."
"That's not what I meant."
He finally opened his eyes and looked up at her from where his head rested. The angle was strange.
"Would you prefer I lean on someone else?" he asked calmly.
"Why should I care?"
He studied her face for a few seconds before closing his eyes again. The silence had her feeling awkward.
"Why did you sit here alone?" she asked instead.
"Because I wanted to."
"No friends?"
"I have friends."
"Then why are you alone?"
"Not everything needs an audience."
He finally lifted his head completely off her shoulder and sat upright. The sudden absence of weight felt strange.
"You survived," he said lightly, when she stretched her shoulders.
"Barely," she said, brushing imaginary dust off her sleeve. "Next time, at least warn me before you decide I'm a pillow."
She rolled her shoulder once more, trying to shake off the lingering warmth where his head had been.
They started walking back toward the main path without really deciding to. The grass gave way to stone, and their footsteps echoed faintly.
"You said you needed five minutes."
"I did."
"Do you feel better?"
"A little."
"Don't lean on me again without permission," she added.
He raised an eyebrow. "So there is a possibility?"
She stared at him. "That's not what I meant."
"Mm. You should check the board," he said. "If you're going home, you'll need to sign out."
"I will."
They split when they got to the path, one leading toward the dorms, the other toward the academic wing.
She watched him go until he disappeared around the corner of the building. Only then did she exhale fully.
Her shoulder still felt warm, even though the breeze had picked up. She rubbed it absentmindedly and started toward the dorms.