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Watching with horrified, wide eyes as Yuuka Kazami's incredibly powerful, toned thighs were aggressively, violently pressed inward by the freezing, unyielding steel fascia knife, Yukari Yakumo violently shuddered. Just exactly how much must that bone-crushing mechanical pressure physically hurt?!
But this absolutely terrifying woman didn't just casually refrain from loudly crying out in pain; she actually, genuinely began to softly hum in deep, physical comfort!
In absolutely all the thousands of long, bloody years Yukari Yakumo had been alive, she had heard Yuuka Kazami violently roar in pure anger and occasionally cry out in battle pain, but she had absolutely never heard a blissful, relaxed sound exactly like this coming from her mouth. It was completely, terrifyingly absurd and physics-defying!
"Ah! Yukari Yakumo, you Marisa-damned, treacherous backstabber!!!"
The terrifying fact that Yuuka Kazami could effortlessly endure the brutal machine absolutely didn't mean Megumu Iizunamaru could! Exactly like the lazy Yukari Yakumo, the Tengu was completely a fragile glass cannon who usually relied on magically flying absolutely everywhere instead of walking. As the arrogant Great Tengu of the Tengu Tribe, she absolutely didn't even logically have to personally bend down to plant strawberries in the dirt.
At this terrifying, agonizing moment, being violently, mechanically pressed and scraped by the brutal fascia knife, she was aggressively, loudly resorting to highly creative, unrefined profanity!
"Oh my, look at you. Yuuka Kazami is peacefully over there enjoying herself. You're both supposedly legendary Great Youkai, so exactly why are you the absolute only one who physically can't take it? Maru, I'm very, very disappointed in you."
A highly smug, victorious smile completely bloomed on Yukari Yakumo's pale face again. This screaming reaction was vastly more like it; this was exactly the normal, biological reaction for a standard Youkai undergoing torture! Yuuka Kazami was clearly, undeniably a terrifying outlier, an absolute, massive masochist!
Eirin Yagokoro stood silently by the humming massage chair, quietly, analytically observing the brutal mechanical process and nodding occasionally in scientific approval. Although this heavy mechanical thing was entirely a bit rigid and robotic, it was indeed completely, professionally performing a deep-tissue massage, and the specific pressure points were mathematically accurate without any hidden traps. It logically seemed Yukari Yakumo had simply, maliciously wanted to aggressively share the brutal physical pain after being violently hurt by the high-pressure mode herself.
"It's fine. I'll completely try it next. After absolutely all these long years of exhaustingly running a busy clinic and constantly giving physical massages to others, I absolutely should finally enjoy one myself."
Absolutely no one in the room paid any sympathetic mind to whether the screaming Megumu Iizunamaru lived or died on the chair. The ancient Great Youkai currently present were absolutely all incredibly confident in their own raw, physical bodies. Among the massive ranks of the Great Youkai of Gensokyo, there absolutely weren't many who lazily neglected their physical melee stats exactly as much as Yukari Yakumo did. Patchouli Knowledge of the Scarlet Devil Mansion was definitely one, Megumu Iizunamaru was half of one, but the absolute rest all possessed incredibly decent, bone-crushing close-combat capabilities.
"It really, genuinely does feel a lot better. I incredibly like this heavy thing. I'll properly ask Leo exactly how much it costs tomorrow morning; my massive corporate dividends should definitely be enough to easily buy one."
The brutal, bone-crushing massage finally ended with a chime, and Yuuka Kazami stood up, lazily threw on her light clothes, and heavily stretched, her spine popping loudly. It had been an incredibly long time since she felt exactly this deeply comfortable and loose. The massive mechanical intensity was just entirely right, and her whole body physically felt incredibly relaxed after the brutal session.
After finding a damp cloth to meticulously wipe down the sweat on the leather massage chair, Eirin Yagokoro smoothly took off her outer layer and gracefully lay down. Completely without blindly waiting for the limping, plotting Yukari Yakumo to come over and maliciously start it, Eirin Yagokoro simply pulled the glowing digital control panel directly toward her. The baseline technology of the advanced Lunar Capital completely included massive laser guns and small interstellar spaceships; as the genius Sage of the Moon, she effortlessly figured out exactly how to operate the simple LED screen in seconds.
As an absolute, master doctor, Eirin Yagokoro completely knew her own biological body very well. She mathematically, flawlessly adjusted the pressure settings on the control panel based entirely on her own lactic acid condition, pressed start, and peacefully closed her eyes in absolute comfort.
"My turn, my turn! Crank it absolutely all the way up for me!"
Megumu Iizunamaru's agonizing session also finally ended with a hiss. Effortlessly picking up the crying, limp, puddle-like Megumu and violently tossing her entirely onto the velvet sofa exactly like a discarded ragdoll, Yuugi Hoshiguma boisterously, loudly stripped off absolutely all her outer clothes, heavily lay down on the squeaking leather, and began to happily enjoy herself under the maximum crushing pressure.
"I logically think the strict reason you two felt massive pain is that your physical bodies are simply entirely too weak and neglected. Starting exactly tomorrow, follow me and exhaustingly exercise... By the way, call that little nine-tailed fox and the orange cat too. I'll violently train absolutely all of you together; strictly consider it your physical rent for lazily staying in Stardew Valley."
Yuuka Kazami's pale body was currently flushed completely red from the brutal, high-suction cupping service she had just heavily enjoyed, creating a highly sharp, beautiful contrast with her fair skin. Sitting elegantly on the sofa with her long legs crossed, she genuinely seemed to be in an incredibly good, generous mood, even terrifyingly offering to personally help Yukari Yakumo exercise!
"No way!"
"Fine!"
The absolute, desperate first refusal violently came directly from the shivering Megumu Iizunamaru. She was an aristocratic Great Tengu; she absolutely only legally needed to be entirely responsible for being lazy and beautiful. She completely didn't want to be as physically exhausted as a panting dog every single day!
The completely shocking second response came directly from Yukari Yakumo, spoken heavily through violently gritted teeth. Originally, she had aggressively wanted to loudly refuse as well, but terrifyingly thinking about how the little human brother could actually, physically already beat her up and pin her, she rapidly realized if she absolutely didn't train her weak physical body, she completely wouldn't even be able to legally run away if something horrible happened again! She violently gritted her teeth and desperately agreed.
"How incredibly rare. Fine, 6 AM sharp tomorrow morning, I'll silently wait for you outside."
Yuuka Kazami raised an amused, green eyebrow. She had genuinely just said it casually in passing and completely hadn't expected the notoriously lazy Yukari Yakumo to actually, miraculously agree. Well then, they would aggressively train; she had absolutely nothing better to do on a farm anyway.
The humid night was heavily filled with the vibrating hum of machines and deep groans of comfort from the Oni and the Moon Sage.
The next morning. Exactly 6:00 AM.
"Five kilometers!" "Oh, how I love you!" "If I absolutely don't run for a single day!" "I violently miss you to death!"
Massive, heavy, incredibly rhythmic military chants loudly echoed exactly over the misty Stardew Valley. The massive herd of Uma Musume had already efficiently taken off the flashy, colorful racing silks they proudly wore when they arrived and completely changed into uniform, breathable Tracen Academy gym clothes. Heavily wearing massive spiked sneakers, they violently began their brutal morning run, shaking the ground with every synchronized step.
They were strictly here to aggressively train, absolutely not to lazily enjoy life. Five massive kilometers was literally just a light, basic warm-up; they would aggressively run exactly like this every single day from now on!
"Look at them working hard, then aggressively look at you! Are you literally here on a tropical vacation?! Go directly back inside and change out of those pathetic sandals! Tie your messy hair up; if you absolutely don't legally know how, I'll violently send you to Myouren Temple to shave it off and become a nun!"
Yuuka Kazami's blood pressure was completely, dangerously a bit high. She had strictly arrived outside the farmhouse promptly at six, and Ran Yakumo and Chen had absolutely already woken up, gotten dressed, and were respectfully waiting outside for her. Even Leo had actively joined in, stretching his legs.
Exactly once Leo aggressively joined the fitness group, he naturally, maliciously didn't want the others to safely have it easy; he loudly, violently banged on doors and called out Flandre, Kogasa, Yuyuko, and Youmu, and absolutely even had Flandre loudly call and maliciously pester Remilia to violently bring the entire Scarlet Devil Mansion crew over to suffer!
Absolutely only Yukari Yakumo remained! Despite being loudly called several times, she stubbornly absolutely wouldn't physically get out of her soft bed. It wasn't completely until a terrifying, heavy parasol was violently pressed directly against her forehead that she reluctantly got up, hair completely disheveled, loudly yawning, and literally wearing cheap beach sandals!
"I'm completely counting to three!"
The massive, green parasol was aggressively, violently pointed directly at Yukari Yakumo's face, and a blinding, terrifying, high-energy Magic Cannon began to rapidly, violently condense at the sharp tip! Absolutely only then did a terrified Yukari Yakumo obediently, rapidly go directly back inside to frantically wash her sleepy face and completely change her clothes. Incredibly reluctantly, she quickly put on a pair of white gym socks, completely changed her shoes, and stood shivering in the military formation.
"Alright, now aggressively start running completely behind those... Uma Musume. I originally planned for you to strictly run five kilometers as a simple warm-up, but explicitly because Yukari Yakumo's massive laziness completely cost us 10 valuable minutes, we're aggressively running 10 kilometers today! If this absolutely happens again, absolutely everyone will be violently punished together!"
Aggressively directing the massive, groaning group directly onto the newly paved dirt track, Yuuka Kazami strictly ran at the very back of the pack. Absolutely whoever lazily ran slowly would instantly receive a terrifying, scorching warning shot from her Magic Cannon near their ankles! In her strict Head Coach training mode, she was extremely, completely ruthless.
"Good morning, Shion! Let's aggressively go together!" "Good morning. I'm officially placing a commission; violently run with me right now!" "Marisa! Get up and aggressively run! If you absolutely don't get up, it's a massive Magic Cannon warning!"
Sharing physical joy and suffering is entirely better than silently enjoying it alone! Absolutely wherever he aggressively ran, Leo loudly shouted at the neighboring cabins, and soon he had aggressively assembled a massive, sweating group absolutely even larger than the official Uma Musume team!
Thanks to the strict, corporate support of Nitori Kawashiro, the exhausted head of Kappa Heavy Industries aggressively gave the strict order to violently wake up absolutely all the sleeping Little Kappa for a mandatory corporate run. Since the massive Boss was physically running, how on earth could you lowly Little Kappa aggressively keep sleeping!
"I... I... absolutely can't physically do it anymore! If I run absolutely any further, I'll literally die!"
Patchouli Knowledge collapsed heavily and completely lay on the dusty ground, her face completely pale, violently coughing exactly as if her lungs were bleeding. Exactly what massive sin had she committed in her past life?!
She had been violently, aggressively woken up early in the dark by Remilia, who loudly said they were absolutely going to accompany Flandre for a light run. If you're a massive, obsessed sister-con who violently wants to run, then go absolutely run yourself! Your little short legs physically move fast enough, so exactly why did you have to exhaustingly, violently drag the asthmatic librarian along!