She could easily feel the agony, pain, and sorrow in her mother's face and words. After saying her piece, she stood up. Hooreen, who had been listening to this bitter truth with bated breath, grabbed her hand as she rose and spoke in a pleading tone:
"Mama... please take me away from here... I want to go to Papa... stay with him... whatever you say, he is my Papa... I won't stay here, please... Mama... take me with you...!"
Haleema Begum pulled her hand away ruthlessly and spoke harshly in a voice mixed with agony and pain:
"You aren't going anywhere, Hooreen... you will stay right here with Kayan. I don't want Ilyas to face any grief or worry because of you; his health is already not good... so I request you not to say anything to him. I will tell him everything myself. Do not become the cause of more pain for us, Hooreen...!"
"Mama... you...? Fine, I won't talk to Papa, nor will I go with you, but I won't stay here with this man either... this despicable human...!"
She screamed angrily and emotionally, but before she could finish, Haleema Begum slapped her across the face and spoke with utter coldness:
"Don't utter a single wrong word for Kayan! The man who gave you love, made you his honor... fought people for you... always stood as a shield before you—you are speaking like this about him...? It would have been better if, instead of marrying you, he had done all that so you would realize what disgrace is! What pain is! What it mean to be scarred! You are going nowhere; you will stay here and pay the penance for your father's sins, do you hear me...? From today, all of us are dead to you... This house is your everything; you cannot go anywhere from here."
Having finished her words, she walked out with a heavy heart. She had said all this on purpose so that Hooreen wouldn't ruin her home in a fit of rage. She didn't want Hooreen to take any wrong step, so she closed all paths for her return. She knew Kayan would make her understand and win her over... because given the revelations just made, Hooreen could have done something foolish to herself.
Kayan was sitting outside in the hall. Seeing her approach, he stood up, his gaze lowered. After what he had done, he was unable to look even at himself. She addressed him:
"You did wrong... I admit Hooreen shouldn't have said those things, and I know she is your wife, but for a woman, her self-respect is above everything else... I have made her understand and have confronted her with the entire truth, but now it is your responsibility to handle her and save her from falling apart. I am leaving."
At her words, his head bowed further in shame. He spoke in a remorseful tone:
"I know I have made a very big mistake, but I won't let her fall apart. I will gather her with my love and resolve all her grievances."
He entered the room and his eyes fell on Hooreen, who was crying with her head buried in her knees. He sat down beside her and spoke shamefully:
"I know I am a sinner in your eyes and you might never forgive me. I admit my fault, but there was a fault on your part too—you discussed our private matters with a third person... Your words hurt me... It wounded me deeply that you used such words for me, and that too in front of someone else. To dull that pain, I touched that forbidden thing for the first time, and then all of this happened...!"
At his words, Hooreen raised her head and looked at him. She opened her lips to say something, but Kayan placed his index finger on her lips to silence her and said:
"Do you know, Hooreen, when and how I fell in love with you...? I saw you for the first time at the Sports Gala in Jinnah Stadium. Oblivious to everything, you were going to your students. There was such a captivating smile on your face, and that smile took everything of mine. I fell in love with you at first sight. That smile of yours made me restless... I used to deny my love for you, brushing off these feelings as a temporary attraction...!"
He smiled slightly while saying this and continued:
"Then, the second time, I saw you in the mall. A vase had hit your foot. At that moment, I saw moisture in your eyes which made me restless and uneasy. The dampness of your eyes caused me great pain. I always used to lose my senses upon seeing you; I would only come to my wits once you were out of my sight and reach. This happened that time too, and I took all that anger out on the child because of whom you were in pain. I raised my hand against that child."
He shook his head at this memory, while Hooreen looked at Kayan in disbelief.
"I had never raised a hand against a child, but I did that day. And after insulting his mother, I fired his father, who was a manager in my company... I was angry at myself too—why was I doing this for a girl I didn't even know? Whose name I didn't even know...
I still denied being in love with you, unaware that the roots of your love had firmly gripped my heart and mind. The third time, I saw you at the mall when your two students, Shehrbano and Maryam, lost their way and bumped into me... Strange coincidence, isn't it? And when you came to get them, you were so close to me that, despite wanting to, I couldn't reach out and feel you.
I kept memorizing every feature of your face, oblivious to my surroundings... Once again, I lost you. Believe me, I lost my sleep at night; you were the only one in my imagination... I refused to marry Hareem and told Dad everything. Dad thought it was just a fixation that would pass in a few days... so he said if I found you, fine, otherwise I would have to marry Hareem. I had full faith in my love that I would find you...
I knew nothing about you... I searched for you everywhere but didn't find you. Before the Nikah, I wept before my Lord and begged for you, and when I opened my eyes, you were right there in front of me. After speaking to me, you went back. My heart rebelled against me; I didn't have the courage to lose you again. When you came before me once more, I made you mine. You know everything that happened after that... Out of your whole face, I love these lips of yours the most because the captivating smile adorned on them made me crazy for you.
If it were up to me, I would settle that smile within myself... I wanted to tell you the state of my heart on the wedding night, but you challenged me and once again moved away from me. You thought I wouldn't find you, but I did. However, your deteriorating condition and Dad kept me away from you so I could give you time to accept this relationship from your heart. Otherwise, regardless of everyone else, I would have taken you with me right then... That same night it was revealed to me that you are my cousin... the daughter of Papa's beloved and only sister... In the hospital, you weren't regaining consciousness;
I knew if you did, you would scream and shout in fear. I convinced myself that staying away for now was better for you. I stayed around you in the hospital until you were better. Before you rejoined your job, I had already bought the school. I would have met you that day, but first I went to your Papa, and your Papa placed a condition that I stay away from you. He wanted to test my patience... I stayed away from you until he gave his approval to our relationship. Eight months, Hoor—for eight whole months, I went to him every single day without fail, trying to convince him, and finally, he agreed.
I came before you and was so happy at the thought of facing you. But when I saw you here, I broke. In the eyes where I wanted to see feelings of love for myself, there was only dread, fear, hatred, and anger, along with something else that was unbearable for me... To awaken my love in your heart, it was necessary to end the dread and fear hidden inside you, in which I succeeded. But this coldness in your tone and your indifference were killing me moment by moment. Being away from you was agonizing for my soul, but once again, ignoring the rebellion and pain of my heart, I decided to stay away from you for a while.
But this time again, you forgot me. I thought you would call me, but you didn't... you didn't even remember me... When Aunt told me that you were complaining to Uncle about me not calling, a ray of hope sparked in my heart that perhaps you have realized my love, perhaps you are taking steps toward me. But I was proven wrong again; you didn't even tell me about your arrival. I found out about your arrival only when I called Waleed for a file.
Setting my ego aside, I stepped toward you again. It was our wedding anniversary; I just wanted to live those beautiful moments with you. You were relaxed even after telling everyone the reality of our relationship, and then, coming to our room upon my request, I was floating in the air, Hoor. It was enough for me that you were taking a step toward me. I was ready to wait for your proximity, no matter how long it took.
When you left the room to go with Amna, I wasn't angry or upset; I could have stayed away from you as long as you wanted. But then in the morning, Samara came... She told me to establish the relationship with her that you never did. I reminded her of her place, but what she told me crushed my ego and the pride of my love...!"
Kayan gave her all the details of his conversation with Samara. She had been listening to everything like a statue; Samara's words had numbed her mind. After explaining Samara's part, he spoke:
"To gather my broken and scattered self, I took the help of alcohol... My heart only prayed that you wouldn't come before me because I didn't know what I would do in my anger... But you came before me and I became a wild beast... and now, having come to my senses and seeing you in this state, my soul is wounded. Whips of agony are lashing my heart, my conscience, and my soul... because my passionate love brought you to this state... I love you to the point of madness... I cannot see you like this... If possible, forgive me. I will accept whatever punishment you give me, but please forgive me...!"
Saying this, he left the room.
Whatever grievances were in Hooreen's heart had already been cleared because of Haleema Begum, and those that remained were cleared by Kayan. She had received answers to all her questions, but she could not forget that Kayan had broken her trust. She didn't want to forgive Kayan for that just yet. Meanwhile, her phone rang. She saw it was a call from Mr. Ilyas. A lump of tears caught in her throat. She answered the call but didn't dare to speak.
"Hooreen, are you okay...? You aren't at home...? Your Mama is saying that you are with Kayan and that you went by your own choice and will stay with him for now...? How can this be, Hooreen...? You were going to talk to your Papa about your heart's desire, so what happened that you took such a big decision without telling your Papa...? Why do I feel like you are in agony...?"
Explicit worry was reflected in Mr. Ilyas's tone. At her Papa's words, her heart wanted to wail loudly and hide in his chest, but she didn't want to cause him pain because of her. So, keeping her tone normal, she spoke:
"Yes, Papa... I am fine, and Mama has told you everything... I will stay with Kayan now, don't worry about me...!"
"Hooreen, your words are not matching your tone... Tell your Papa, my life, what happened? Why do I feel this is not your own decision...? My child, whatever you say will happen, just tell me the truth...!"
He was not satisfied with her words. Hooreen's self-control was giving way, but she wanted to keep her Papa away from this pain. On one side was her biological mother, who had announced her decision and forced her to accept it. And on the other side was the man who had accepted her as his daughter since childhood, showered all his happiness on her, and even today was asking for her will, giving importance to her decision, and sensing her pain without her saying a word.
"Papa... no matter what anyone says... no matter what anyone speaks... I am only your daughter... Only you are my Papa and no one else... I love you very much, Papa... but what am I going to do.........., forgive me for that...if possible!"
Saying her piece, she switched off the phone. She decided after much thought and, leaving a letter for Kayan, she left from there forever.