It's been four months since I arrived on this planet.
Right now, I'm inside the ship, upgrading it in a way that's… damn.
The material I found turned out to be pretty durable, so I did the obvious thing: I tore apart half the ship and started merging it with what I already had. Melted it down, tested compatibility, and thanks to whatever brought me here… it worked.
Guess who has a much tougher ship now?
That's right, baby. Me.
Sapphire has been paying way too much attention to what I do. She even jumped in to help, which I didn't expect.
She says she doesn't want to rely on her future vision and wants to learn how to do things on her own.
I taught her the basics: how to take apart wiring, screw in parts, adjust systems…
Nothing complicated.
Obviously, she wasn't alone.
Pearl was there too, and as expected, she learned faster. Pearls have ridiculous intellectual capacity… though of course, there are exceptions.
Me.
Heh.
Right now, I was using my robotic hands to weld inside the ship, sealing cracks and reinforcing weak points with the new material.
I wanted this thing to withstand anything.
I mentioned before that the Empire uses something similar to Diamond essence to reinforce structures… right?
Well, now I actually have it.
That stuff is insane.
It seals, reinforces, stabilizes… it basically does everything.
And I have—
All four types.
You're welcome.
There was some in my colony, so I took it. Obviously, I wasn't going to waste something that useful.
I was even thinking about mixing it with water or some other compound, see if I could get something more efficient… but that's for later.
Right now, I had other priorities.
While working, something crossed my mind.
My gem.
My "inventory."
It seemed to have no limit.
And that…
Wasn't normal.
"What would happen if I got shattered?"
I froze for a second.
"…I don't want to find out."
Would everything disappear?
Stay there?
Get lost?
Too many questions.
Too few answers.
I stepped out of the ship and looked around. People… well, Gems.
Are we alive?
Existential questions. I'm sick of that crap.
I shook my head and sat down on the grass. It had been a while since I relaxed like this. Even so… it didn't feel the same. Human memories—or what I think are memories—are messing with me.
Feeling. Wanting to feel. And not being able to do it properly. That's frustrating.
And then there's the other thing. Not having a fully "human" body… no organs… none of that.
"…this is messed up."
I glanced to the side. Pearl and Sapphire were playing.
UNO.
Yeah, I made the cards for them. With whatever I had. I explained the rules, and now they were just there, entertained.
I watched as Sapphire smiled and dropped a +4 when Pearl only had one card left.
Pearl tensed, frustrated. And still… Sapphire won again.
"How many is that now…? 45?" I muttered.
I stayed quiet and closed my eyes, trying to simulate sleep, even though I didn't need it.
…
…
…
It felt like time passed.
Did it?
I don't know.
But I felt… calm.
Relaxed.
"…relaxed or relaxed?"
I frowned.
Again.
The same crap.
The existential crisis.
I sighed.
"Just shut up already…" I muttered to myself without opening my eyes.
Then I opened them slowly.
Something was off.
Panic hit me instantly.
I got up fast and looked around.
I wasn't on the planet.
"…what?"
Did they leave me behind? Did I fall asleep and a thousand years passed? Am I trapped in my own mind?
…
"…okay, that last one makes more sense."
What was the last thing I thought?
Right.
Sleeping.
It had been a while since I tried that.
But… why is it different now?
I looked around.
It was a room.
A… human room.
I froze.
I looked down.
My hands.
Skin.
Human.
…
…
I stayed silent.
I felt something.
Tears.
But not really.
It was strange.
Familiar.
And at the same time completely foreign.
I slowly got up from the bed.
A normal bed.
Classic.
Soft.
Very soft.
"…it feels like the one on the ship."
I looked around.
The room…
Looked like Earth.
Walls.
Objects.
Everything too human.
I looked at the wall.
There were posters.
Several.
But something was wrong.
I couldn't see them clearly.
Like they were blurred.
Incomplete.
Except for one.
I walked closer.
Frowning.
"…Steven Universe?"
The poster showed Rose Quartz.
And behind her…
Pink Diamond.
I stared at it.
In silence.
"…okay."
"This just got weird—well, not that weird, but…"
Everything felt too quiet.
Silent.
Until I saw it.
The mirror.
It was turned toward the wall.
And for some reason…
I felt drawn to it.
Like something was pulling me toward it.
I started walking.
Slowly.
As I moved forward, I looked at my body.
It didn't look right.
White?
Dark?
I couldn't tell.
My mind couldn't process it.
But I felt something clearly.
If I reached the mirror…
Everything would make sense.
I kept walking.
Each step grew heavier.
Slower.
Harder.
My body…
Was heavy.
Very heavy.
A wave of dizziness hit me suddenly.
Hard.
"…what…?"
It didn't make sense.
It was a dream.
Supposedly.
But it felt too real.
Like I was carrying something massive.
"…a planet?"
I frowned.
"…Atlas…"
I blinked.
"Who was Atlas…?"
I paused.
"…I'm remembering basic things…"
A small smile.
"I like that…"
I kept walking.
Slower.
Heavier.
Each step harder than the last.
Like the ground was pushing me down.
Like something didn't want me to reach it.
But I kept going.
And going.
And going.
Until—
Everything went black.
Suddenly.
No transition.
…
I jolted awake.
Everything was blurry.
Out of focus.
Like my eyes refused to work.
"…shit…"
I wanted to go back.
I wanted to reach it.
I knew I could.
It was easy.
I just had to reach the mirror.
But…
It wouldn't let me.
"Why…?"
I turned my head.
In the distance—
Pearl and Sapphire.
Calm.
Looking at trees like nothing was wrong.
Like the world wasn't off.
I quickly wiped my tears.
Without thinking.
I got up.
And ran.
Not toward them.
The other way.
Where they wouldn't see me.
I dove into some bushes.
Far away.
And dropped against a tree.
Silence.
…
…
Then…
More tears.
"…how many years have I been here?"
My voice came out low.
Broken.
"14…? 20…?"
I covered my face.
"I've been here so long… and I don't even know how long…"
I took a deep breath.
Or tried to.
"I know… but… do I really know?"
I shook my head.
"What if I messed up…?"
"What if I calculated wrong?"
"What if everything is wrong?"
I laughed.
Dry.
Empty.
"I try to distract myself… with machines…"
"With things I'm not even good at…"
I frowned.
"But my instincts say I am…"
Silence.
Heavy.
"Everything I do…"
"…is programming."
I clenched my teeth.
"I didn't learn any of it."
"I just… do it."
"Like it came pre-installed."
I looked down.
"…I'm useless."
Silence.
Heavier.
Deeper.
"If I had reincarnated…"
"As a Ruby?"
"As an Amethyst?"
"As a Diamond…?"
I let out a small, bitter laugh.
"What would I have done differently?"
"Would I have escaped?"
"Would I have won?"
"Would I have made it to Earth?"
"Would I have been… better?"
Pause.
Long.
"Or worse…?"
I stayed still.
Looking at the ground.
Not answering myself.
Because deep down…
I didn't know which was worse.
Not having a choice.
Or having one…
And not knowing what to do with it.
I stayed there on the grass, crying.
Doing nothing else.
Just that.
Crying.
It was one of the few times I truly felt vulnerable.
Sad.
Very sad.
And I couldn't stop.
…
…
Time passed.
I don't know how much.
Actually—I do.
My damn programming calculated it.
Ten hours.
"…great."
Yeah, a Gem can cry as much as it wants.
It's weird.
Light, air, body…
I'm not explaining it now or I'll go full technical Silica mode.
And I don't feel like it.
When I finished…
I stayed silent.
Eyes red.
Staring at nothing.
I slowly stood up.
Wiped the remaining tears.
And leaned back against the same tree.
The same one that saw everything.
I stayed there.
In silence.
Focusing on my gem.
Trying to feel…
What I felt in the dream.
Was it a dream?
I don't know.
But it felt too real.
Too… familiar.
I sighed.
Nothing.
I felt nothing.
I walked to a nearby lake.
Knelt down.
Looked at my reflection.
Just tears.
Nothing else.
I pulled out a water container from my gem.
Splashed my face.
"…better."
I didn't want questions.
I looked toward the others.
Pearl.
Sapphire.
They were laughing.
At some weird animal.
They looked…
Normal.
Calm.
Happy.
I watched them.
In silence.
"…"
They looked more human than I did.
I clenched my fists.
Then relaxed them.
"They don't know…"
"Neither do I."
I looked away.
"I don't think I'm going to space anytime soon."
So…
I'll stay here.
As long as I want.
Researching.
Working.
Thinking.
"Yeah… that's what I'll do."
I'll focus on plans.
On improving.
On creating.
While my mind runs thousands of hypotheses.
Thousands of outcomes.
I want to be stronger.
I looked at them again.
Still laughing.
"…for them?"
Pause.
Small.
"Maybe."
I shook my head.
"I doubt it."
I looked forward.
"I'm just… cautious."
I walked back to the ship.
I'd try being social another day.
Not now.
Right now, I just wanted to go into full Silica mode and improve myself.
I stepped inside.
Walked through the halls, scratching the back of my head.
A habit.
One I developed over time.
I noticed it.
But it was better than doing nothing.
My hands always wanted to do something.
Move.
Fix.
Create.
Probably the programming.
Though after that dream…
I wasn't so sure anymore.
"Was I always like this…?"
I shook my head.
"Questions for later."
I entered my room.
More upgraded than before.
More… mine.
I sat at the table.
Closed my eyes for a second.
Then put on my glasses.
Once activated…
The interface appeared.
"Sir, any updates?" the AI asked.
"Yarbis," I replied flatly.
I named it on a whim.
"Show me project number 150."
Multiple platforms appeared in front of me.
Data.
Blueprints.
Simulations.
All floating.
I nodded slightly.
And started.
Organizing.
Sorting.
Restructuring.
Primary materials.
Plans A, B, C, D…
Combinations.
Variants.
Tests.
More tests.
Everything.
In the Empire, Agates would handle this.
But I had no one.
And I didn't want anyone.
This project…
Was mine.
"Perfect…"
My goal was clear.
Improve my gem.
Take it to another level.
Something like Jasper…
But better.
Much better.
Jasper was strong.
But not perfect.
I would be.
Or at least…
I'd try.
I started working.
Designing.
Programming.
Deleting.
Redoing.
The code wasn't human.
No "print" or stuff like that.
It was Gem code.
More advanced.
More direct.
More… efficient.
"…this works."
I kept going.
Line after line.
Without stopping.
Hours.
Days.
Weeks.
I didn't leave.
Didn't talk.
Nothing.
Just worked.
When I realized…
A month had passed.
Still inside the ship.
Locked in.
And I was already past 130,000 lines of code.
In human terms…
That would be insane.
Millions.
Maybe more.
But here…
It was normal.
Or at least for me.
I left small comments in the code.
Not because I needed to.
But so I wouldn't lose myself.
So I wouldn't lose…
That human part.
The one I still didn't know was real.
Or just another error.
But I didn't stop.
Because while I worked…
I didn't think.
And that…
Was exactly what I needed.
Two months? A year? Five? Ten?
I had no idea.
I was too deep in it.
Programming.
And programming.
And programming.
In gem-time.
Where everything gets weird.
Where time stops mattering.
And when I realized…
54 years had passed.
"…oh."
Yeah.
That's a long time.
Though I wasn't locked in the whole time.
I went out.
Sometimes.
With Pearl.
With Sapphire.
It wasn't all code.
Almost, though.
And during that time, something important happened.
The slug.
Yeah.
That thing didn't stay quiet.
It tried to eat Pearl.
And that's when this happened.
I remember:
"Any updates on new species?" I asked, sitting down and looking around.
I had just stepped out of the ship.
"There was something similar to an Aquamarine," Pearl said, projecting the creature from her gem.
I observed it.
Four transparent wings.
Blue body.
Green details on the sides.
"Yeah… looks like it," I muttered.
"We also saw something similar to a Jasper," Sapphire added, standing up from what looked like a wooden house.
They had built it.
On this planet.
Pearl nodded and projected the other creature.
I looked at it.
Similar to a basic Jasper.
But… weird.
More like an Amethyst.
And with four arms.
"…what the hell."
Silence.
We stared at the projection.
Analyzing.
Thinking.
We talked for a while.
No rush.
Until I remembered.
"Oh."
I stretched a bit.
"Hey, I'm gonna go hunt a slug that's been bothering me a lot."
Pearl and Sapphire looked at me.
Not surprised.
They already knew.
I tossed them some armor.
They caught it.
Put it on without hesitation.
They were used to it.
"Ready?"
I got into position.
They both nodded.
And we jumped.
I had created a special suit.
It simulated gravity.
None of us could move properly in the air.
So I did the obvious.
Fixed it.
The suit responded to the gem.
To our commands.
It simulated ground beneath our feet.
Kept us stable.
"…took me forever to make."
End of Chapter 18.