'For those who have known only darkness, light is an affliction.For those who live in despair,hope feels like a shackle.'
I was born in darkness and lived my life within it.
But when the choice came, I willingly stepped into the light.
Was it desire or a whim that made me do it?
I don't remember.
I never had a name. They were foreign to me, yet I yearned for one. Why?
I don't remember.
I remember how emotions once felt—how I couldn't understand them.
To me, they were like the flavors of ice cream.
Now I can feel them, but they are too conflicting.
Why do I feel sad, excited, and at peace while looking at the rain?
Why are my feelings so conflicted, so contradictory, even over the simplest things?
Was discarding so much of myself—becoming human—worth it?
My past self would say yes without hesitation.
But in the present, I find myself wondering… hesitating.
Was it really worth it? If yes,
then why do I feel so empty?
I can't go back.
I must walk forward—without hesitation, without regret.
Perhaps this emptiness will fade with time,
I can only hope.
To my past self:
I have achieved the goal you were seeking.
I hope I didn't let you down.
I hope to make you proud.
*** (A/N ~ Imma use "***" for both scene change and prospective change)
A young boy with short black hair, dark purple eyes carrying a detached look, and skin so unnaturally pale that one could mistake him for an albino, was nibbling on a chocolate bar.
Standing across the desk was a tired-looking receptionist who appeared quite frustrated, the cause of her irritation being the boy in front of her, who seemed lost in his own world.
***
I wondered if there would be any sweet shops around here—hopefully not too sugary. Well, not like I knew that many sweets to begin with.
"Um, sir."
I should have packed more of those caramelised peanut bars. Hopefully they sell those here.
"Sir…"
I should have looked around the area instead of heading straight in, but then again, I'd rather not get lost.
"SIR!"
A loud shout which was very unprofessional in my opinion woke me up from my spiraling thoughts about sweets. A sweet tooth is bad for teeth they say, but I can't really help it.
"…Yes?"
For how long had I been thinking for the receptionist to look at me like that, I wondered.
"Your registration and ID verification are complete, sir. Here is your student ID and student code. Please take the elevator at the far end of the corridor."
"Is there anything else I should take note of, miss?"
"No, Sir. You are good to go."
I wondered if I should ask her about sweet shops, but decided otherwise, quietly collecting the student ID. It was a golden-colored card with the words 'Special Admission' engraved on the top left corner.
The card contained my name and all the necessary information, I glanced at my name.
'Rowayne, a fake name created by a fake person'
On the back of the card, the academy's insignia was engraved.
I turned around and walked toward the corridor. There stood an elevator at the far end.
There was a sign on the wall that read, 'ONE PERSON AT A TIME.'
On the side was a card reader, into which I swiped the student ID that I had just acquired from the receptionist.
The door opened.
The thing that stood out the most or should I say, the most eye-catching thing about the elevator—was the glass wall in front of me.
One might say, what's wrong with glass walls? Some elevators have them so that the person inside can view the outside scenery while moving between floors. Well, that was exactly the problem, because beyond the glass wall was a goddamn brick wall.
'Is this supposed to be some form of modern art?'
Turning around, I located the panel, having second thoughts about this so-called top academy from which I got an invitation, for reasons I had no idea about. It was a single letter stating that I had been chosen as a special admission student.
Why did I accept, you ask, despite the shady invitation? The academy itself was renowned across the nine continents, and they didn't ask for any admission fees. It also turned out that special admission students were accepted regardless of how they performed in the entrance exam.
But it wasn't like I was anything special—well, aside from a few secrets they shouldn't know. They accepted a lot of special students every year.
'Would they experiment on me if they found out?. I'd rather not find the answer to that out'
Reigning in my stray thoughts, I focused on the panel, which asked for my student ID and my rune reader.
A rune reader was a small device that natives of this world—well, only humans, since only humans could use gifts—used to check information regarding their gifts and track their progress.
Since the device was fused onto the body, it used blood as a medium to access a person's soul and mind, compiling raw information into readable information.
While the rune reader updated in real time, one had to manifest it physically to read the information.
I pushed the student ID into the slot and looked at the small crystal embedded in my wrist, touching it once.
A book materialised, which I promptly placed on the container connected to the panel.
A few moments later, the screen lit up with text reading:
"Gift information entering the database.
Student ID syncing with the database—complete."
I took my ID out of the slot. Now there was an additional line, displaying the name of my gift.
The book disintegrated into sparks that promptly flowed back into the crystal on my wrist.
Then the elevator started moving downward, giving me a clear view of the brick wall. I noticed the elevator was descending just a tad faster than a normal one would, never mind, it just sped up
For reference, I entered from the ground floor, so was the academy supposed to be underground? I wondered
Until suddenly I was shaken out of my thoughts. It felt like the elevator hit the surface of water, then slowly sank, giving me the feeling that I was riding a ship.
The strange thing was that the brick wall wasn't tilted or anything, so I knew the elevator was straight which made the experience even stranger.
Crack!
I heard the sound of glass cracking, but the glass wall was intact. Then where did the sound come from? Looking around, I didn't find anything. It was harder to balance myself, though, I looked like a drunkard tiptoeing around the floor
Then I looked down and saw cracks,
Spreading, growing and glowing cracks.
'Panicking wouldn't help.
Screaming wouldn't either, I was in a closed box, trapped at an unknown depth underground'
The cracks grew until they covered the walls and crawled up to the ceiling
'Cracks pulsating with familiar energy. A glass wall facing a solid wall.
An elevator that went unnaturally deep underground'
The pieces connected in my mind, and I knew what was happening
"A portal to a hidden realm?."
These words left my mouth as a shattering sound echoed in my ears, and I lost consciousness