CHAPTER 3
I was half asleep when it started raining heavily.
The sound of the rain somehow soothed every worry I carried inside me. Each drop that struck the roof seemed to wash away the heaviness in my chest. Slowly, the chaos in my mind settled into a rare moment of peace.
For the first time in a long while, my disturbed spirit felt calm.
Then I heard the door open.
My eyes snapped open.
I quickly reached for the lamp beside my bed and switched on the light.
Nothing.
The room was empty.
I stared at the door for a moment before convincing myself that I must have imagined it. Living in such a toxic environment had a way of playing tricks on the mind.
I switched the light off and lay back down.
Just as sleep began pulling me under again, I suddenly broke into a cold sweat.
A cold hand slowly ran its fingers across my lap.
My eyes flew open.
I was about to scream when Rufus clamped his hand over my mouth.
"Move and you're dead," he whispered into my ear.
My heart began pounding violently in my chest.
Behind him stood Rudolph.
Before I could react, Rudolph grabbed my clothes and began tearing them off my body.
I pleaded with them.
I begged them to stop.
But they looked at me like predators staring at wounded prey.
Rudolph pulled off my underwear and stared at me with a level of lust that was far too dark for someone his age.
That moment made me realize something terrifying.
Pleading with them was useless.
They weren't listening.
They weren't human in that moment.
Slowly, a horrible realization settled inside me.
I was going to be raped.
My virginity was going to be taken from me without my consent.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
I closed my eyes tightly as Rudolph forced himself inside me.
The pain was instant.
Sharp.
Unbearable.
Every thrust felt like a knife tearing through my body.
I bit my lip to stop myself from screaming.
The pain was so intense that it felt like my body was splitting apart.
But what choice did I have?
Beggars don't get to choose their fate.
That night, every dream I had ever held about falling in love, getting married, and having a family of my own died inside that small cabin.
Just as Rudolph finished and got off me, I tried to cover my body with the thin blanket.
But Rufus immediately jumped on top of me.
And he continued what his brother had started.
He forced himself into me with even more aggression, moving in and out of me with brutal force.
I pulled the thin blanket over my naked body, trying desperately to hide myself from the world.
When they were done, they simply left.
They quietly returned to their rooms as if nothing had happened.
As if I wasn't lying there shattered.
When the door closed behind them, I slowly got up from the bed.
That's when I saw the blood on the sheets.
I knew my body had been torn somewhere from the violence I had endured.
I quietly changed the sheets and cleaned the bed.
Then I lay down and cried myself to sleep.
The next day was unbearable.
I could barely walk.
The pain between my legs was overwhelming. It felt like my body had been ripped apart.
Maddy noticed the way I was walking and asked if I was alright.
I forced a smile and told her everything was fine.
A week passed.
I was still struggling to walk properly.
Because they kept coming back.
Every single night.
Mrs. Atkinson eventually noticed my strange walk and asked what was wrong.
But telling her the truth would have been pointless.
She wouldn't believe me.
Or worse…
She wouldn't care.
So I repeated the same lie I had told Maddy.
The boys continued sneaking into my room every night.
And slowly, a belief began forming in my mind.
Men were nothing but scum.
Creatures too vile to call human.
Being raped every night began destroying me—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
I became quieter.
More withdrawn.
The girl I used to be slowly disappeared.
Thoughts of suicide often crossed my mind.
But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I believed it was a sin.
And deep down… I wasn't ready to die.
The brothers would often wink at me whenever I served them food.
Sometimes they would even spank me while passing by.
Eventually, I reached my breaking point.
I couldn't handle the abuse anymore.
So I decided to tell their parents.
What happened next shocked me.
And it would probably shock you too.
How could a mother be so heartless?
Mrs. Atkinson looked at me coldly and said,
"It's not like you're the first woman to be forced into sex, and you certainly won't be the last."
She shrugged.
"Even if they did sleep with you, why is it such a big deal?"
Then she leaned closer.
"You live in our house and eat our food. It's the least you could do."
Her voice turned cold and threatening.
"And if I hear this story from anyone else, I will kill you and bury you inside this house. No one will ever know… and no one will care."
Her words shattered something inside me.
I couldn't hold back the tears.
I realized I was living with people who truly saw me as nothing more than an object.
After that day, the twins became even bolder.
They would come into my room whenever they wanted.
Sometimes I tried to fight them off.
When I did, they beat me.
For two solid months, they used me whenever they felt like it.
To them, I wasn't a human being.
I was simply a sexual machine.
Something to satisfy their sick fantasies.
Eventually, I reached a decision.
It was better to die than to continue living as their slave.
So I ran away.
I escaped that hellhole in the middle of the night.
I didn't know where I was going.
But I knew I had to get as far away from those people as possible.
Eventually, I found myself in South London.
I had to survive.
I searched for places where I could sleep and eventually found an old abandoned warehouse.
No one stayed there.
Which meant it became mine.
I wasn't the type of person to beg for money.
So I chose to work for whatever I could get.
I started washing cars.
Sometimes I collected garbage for people.
On a good day, I made five pounds.
On a bad day…
I made nothing.
The warehouse had no windows.
During the cold nights, the freezing air would pierce through my skin, through my flesh, all the way to my bones.
But the cold wasn't my only problem.
South London had its own dangers.
Gang fights often broke out around the area.
And sometimes…
Those fights would spill over into the place I called home.