i woke up feeling like the world had given up on me . the numb feeling washed over me again and my chest tightened it felt like someone was ripping my heart to pieces. i quicky made a swipe for the small white bottle and ate the medicine and some water . ,why me , i had stopped for a few months ... and the doctor said it was fine .. but why is it reappearing again, i thought . i sighed and got up to get ready my face devoid of any joy . today is the day i will leave this place and...start my new life in the dukes mansion . dread came back to me my stomach having pit feelings of question .
i took a shower and went to get my self ready when a quit knock came from the door i slowly opened to find Elizabeth . i quickly threw my arms around her and without realizing it tears slid down my face . she did not stop me or comfort me just stood there silent while i was crying in her arms . she just patted my back and it brought a small sense of comfort in this confusing day . when i finally calmed down and looked at her she spoke " dry your eyes my sweet . its going to be fine dear "
" Beth i...i...i...i am scared i don't know what to do " i said my voice shaking
" you would do just fine , dear don't worry "
"but.."
" no buts have confidence in your self . now come one chop chop . We have to get you ready and make you the most dazzling bride ever on this world " she said with a cheeky smile " even though i don't have to try "
" oh , be quite i am not that pretty "
" don't lie to your self . now come on we don't have much time lose "
half a hour later i stood there wearing a beautiful travel attire instead of the dress with patches and holes my usually messy hair was tied into a beautiful braid . i looked at the mirror instead of the usually battered girl who looked overworked was someone entirely different . i didn't recognize the person in front of me , i...i...i looked amazing
" you look amazing , i never imagined that i would see you get married but here you are looking great and beautiful " i patted her back in am attempt to comfort her " now its no use of crying over such things . its time for you to go my dear , the carriage will arrive any minute now "she said " and i am going to miss you very much " she said with a strangled voice . tears began to pool in her eyes . the sight broke my heart
" now, now Beth don't cry . you will make me cry if you do this , please don't cry " my voice turning hoarse by the second
" ok , i will not but you have to promise me that you will be ok "
" i promise " i told her .
half a hour later i was in the grand carriage of the north . belonging to the duke of the north . As the carriage left the gates of the house which once was my home it felt weird , the house which i once shared my happiness with my mother and later a share of torture which was the darkest period of my life and now leaving it all suddenly . Everything felt odd i didn't know whether to feel happy . I sighed the last goodbye i told Beth and that i would write to her when i can . ' i just hope they wont hurt her when i am away ' the thought made my heart ache . they wont right ?... what if they break their promise .... what if violet decides to give her a hard time ... . my mind was swirling with my overthinking thoughts . i held my hands on my head trying to calm my self .
cool breeze swept past me . i looked outside the window for the first time . It looked breath taking i, hadn't left that mansion in 18 years . every thing looked amazing . we were passing through the country side . The smell of the farm , the little kids playing around , the cute little goats, dogs , cats, the calf's with their mothers . everything felt new to me . If i had the chance i would have loved to live here . A place were there are no rules , and with nature .
the journey to the north was about two days . the Coachman stopped at a road side inn . " my lady , the journey to the north is a bit long so we have to stop tonight and we will have to continue tomorrow morning . "
" alright sir... um.. "
"its Ryder madam "
" ok sir Ryder "
" but i do apologize , for i had no choice but to stop at this inn . its getting dark and this was the only place i could find "
" its ok , i don't mind i prefer this more "
" if you say so madam " he said a bit confused . i went inside ,the sitting room was small but not as small my bedroom but it was fine . " madam i will go ask if there were any rooms left you wait here "
" alright , but be quick though " he nodded in reply and went to talk with the inn keeper . i sat there in the chair , looking around , it some how felt familiar to me . my head started to hurt , some thing flashed in my mind , it was blurry though , a women smiling , talking with a middle aged man . then a flash of light .
" madam ! madam ! ..... " someone was calling me " madam ! " it was Ryder . i looked i around , i was lying on the floor . i got up with a start . my head hurt . i held my head so i wont feel dizzy " "madam ! are you ok " said Ryder panicked
" yes , i am fine just had a headache , nothing else " i told quicky . they should not know , about my illness , if they knew they who knows what they will do to me
" but madam .."
" its fine , now have you talked to the innkeeper " i asked quickly changing the topic
" ooaa... yes... he said he has two rooms left " he said his voice tinged with worry " but are you sure you are ok "
" yes yes , no need to worry " now that i thought about it i never saw him clearly , i looked at him really for the first time . he had dark brown hair , deep green eyes and looked about the age of somewhere between 28 to 30 . about the same age as Elizabeth . if she was here they both would have made a good pair . the thought made me smile a bit .
" madam are you ok " he said interrupting my thoughts
" nothing , i was just lost in thought , so now can we go to the rooms i am a bit tired from the long journey " i said getting up from the floor
" yes of course " he replied and called for the innkeeper " madam this is the innkeeper Mr. Garret , Mr. Garret this is miss Alina "
" nice to meet you madam " the man said . he looked to be in his 70s with white hair . he had a warm smile which felt familiar to me but i couldn't place it
" nice to meet you Mr. Garret " i said with a warm smile
" please right this way miss i will show you to your room " he said pointing down a hall way
" madam you go and rest ,i will settle the horses and come " Ryder said i nodded in reply
Mr. Garret led me down the hall way to a room .
" miss this your room please rest " i nodded and was about to turn when he asked me something " miss do you know something , you resemble someone who i used to know "
"really " i asked surprised
"yes the same red hair and smile , she was a nice young girl you know , always came every morning and greeted me with her smile and big amber eyes " he said with a sigh " but suddenly she stopped coming , when i asked around they said that she had been taken away by a noble man who fancied her and had a daughter " my heart sank amber eyes , that's the same eye color as my mothers , and a noble man .... my mother was from a poor family and everyone said my father had fell for her at first sight . wait could he be talking about her
" sir can you perhaps tell me her name " i asked my voice trembling a bit .
" yes of course it was..." just then a ringing sound came from the front . a customer had come " oh please excuse me miss " said turning and leaving me to stand in the empty hallway in silence . i entered the room which i was to be staying in. i sat on the bed my mind swirling with thoughts and uncleared things . in truth i didn't know much of my mothers background . and when ever i asked her about it she would always change the topic .
i sighed . there is no need to confuse myself with these thoughts , besides tomorrow is the day i will be at the dukes mansion . that's what i should be worrying about not about this . i changed into a more comfortable dress one which my father gave me as he didn't want anyone to know about my situation in the house . i ate the dinner which had been prepared some porridge with some bread . i didn't mind it at all , i am more used to this type of food anyway . then with a mind full of uncleared thoughts i went to sleep . tomorrow is going to be a big day i guess was the final thing i thought before sleep eloped me