Chapter 3: The Dragon's Lair and the TV Heist
Penny's eyes went wide with alarm. "What? You guys? Going to Kurt's place? No way, Leonard, he's dangerous! You absolutely can't go!"
"Don't worry!" Leonard was radiating confidence, like he wasn't about to confront an ex-boyfriend but slay an actual dragon. "We've got a plan! Right, guys?" He looked at Sheldon and David expectantly, his expression screaming, "Time to show what we're made of."
So Leonard drove, hauling along a reluctant Sheldon and David—who felt this "plot development was slightly off-script but fascinating"—on their quest to "storm the ex-boyfriend's fortress."
The result was predictable. Penny's ex, Kurt, was a muscle-bound, short-fused gorilla. The moment he heard their request, he didn't even let them finish talking before grabbing Sheldon's waistband and yanking his pants down as a warning.
Leonard and David, realizing things were going south fast, dragged Sheldon away while he shrieked, "My mother bought me these pants!"
Back in the car, the mood was grim. Sheldon was still traumatized. Leonard looked utterly defeated, his hero fantasy crushed.
David studied Leonard's dejected expression and suddenly had an idea. "Leonard, are you worried that not getting the TV back will destroy your 'smart and capable' image with Penny?"
Leonard shot him a pitiful look.
"I've got an idea," David continued. "What if you buy the exact same TV model in similar condition, pretend you got it back from Kurt, and give it to Penny? Problem solved, image intact."
"What?" Sheldon exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his pants trauma. "That proposal is absurd on both logical and economic grounds! And we don't even know what model TV she has!"
"But..." Leonard hesitated, hope flickering in his eyes. "It might... work? If it's the same model, Penny might not even notice the difference?"
"She'll absolutely notice!" Sheldon protested. "Even with identical models, there'll be differences in wear patterns, scratches, and even the stored channel settings! The probability of failure is astronomically high!"
However, Leonard—whose brain was thoroughly hijacked by love, or more accurately, love at first sight—decided it was worth the risk. They agreed to return to Kurt's building to figure out the TV model.
Facing Kurt again at his door, the trio radiated zero confidence. Kurt was genuinely surprised they'd come back and started grinning menacingly, apparently ready to target Sheldon's underwear this time. Leonard quickly explained—they just wanted to know the TV model.
Kurt paused, then burst out laughing. He stroked his chin, eyeing Leonard with amused recognition. "Ohhh, I get it. Playing the white knight? Trying to be her hero? Alright, kid."
He paused dramatically. "Here's the deal: you want her old TV? Fine. Bring me a brand new, latest-model TV in exchange. Fair trade."
"We absolutely cannot condone your blatant extortion!" Sheldon declared indignantly, ignoring their vulnerable position.
Kurt's face darkened instantly. "Then get lost!" He slammed the door in their faces.
Back in the car, Leonard sat in deep thought. After a moment, he smacked the steering wheel. "David, your idea... maybe we can adapt it."
David and Sheldon both turned to him.
"Kurt's right—trade a new TV for the old one. If we actually buy the latest model to exchange for Penny's TV, she'll never know what happened. She'll just see that we successfully recovered her TV! And this is more foolproof than buying a used TV ourselves, because this IS her actual TV. No chance of getting caught!"
Sheldon looked stunned. "Leonard, your logic has evolved from absurd to genuinely terrifying! You're actually going to give in to that barbarian's blackmail and consider it a brilliant plan?"
"This is for Penny!" Leonard said with determination. "Let's hit the mall!"
Leonard first bought new pants at the mall's clothing section and brought them back to the car for Sheldon to change into. Then, for the next hour, the trio endured "hardships"—mainly Sheldon's comprehensive critique of various TV technical specifications in the electronics department—before finally purchasing the latest model. They returned to Kurt's door once more.
Seeing the brand new TV, Kurt looked genuinely shocked—apparently he hadn't actually expected these nerds to follow through. He weighed the situation, realized he'd scored big on this deal, and readily handed over Penny's old TV. He even "generously" returned Sheldon's original pants.
On the drive back, Sheldon subjected Leonard to a twenty-minute omnidirectional roast covering ethics, logic, economics, and social behavior. Leonard completely tuned him out, focusing instead on practicing his lines in the rearview mirror for when he'd see Penny.
When Penny opened her door and saw her TV, she squealed with joy and immediately pulled Leonard into a huge hug. Leonard melted into the warmth and shampoo scent, feeling absolutely euphoric.
"Oh my God! How did you get it back? He didn't hurt you guys, did he?" Penny asked, both grateful and curious.
Leonard immediately launched into the script they'd crafted on the drive home—an artistically embellished tale of how they'd used reason, persuasion, and ultimately triumphed over the evil ex-boyfriend with wisdom and courage.
Howard, who'd just shown up, heard Penny describe her ex as a "short-tempered gorilla" and looked deeply skeptical. "Really? Just you three?" His gaze swept over Leonard, Sheldon, and David, finally landing on how tightly Sheldon was clutching his waistband. "I feel like there are some critical details missing from this story, aren't there?"
Leonard laughed nervously, desperately trying to maintain his "hero" status.
David stood nearby, watching this familiar yet slightly altered scene unfold, quietly amused. In this world, his reincarnated butterfly wings seemed to have started stirring up some interesting breezes.