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"Did you hear that, Masayuki!"
I wonder how many times this has happened now.
His face was flushed with excitement, sweat beaded all over his face, and those words came from my father's mouth, his eyes gleaming with passion.
"Don't you think that's what you'd expect from Lord Saemon-no-kami, Masayuki! He's preparing a large army for me, Hisamasa! With this, we can finally get revenge on that hateful Nagamasa... Don't you think so?!"
"Yes... I suppose that is correct."
For some time now, my father had gathered the retainers who had left Kita-Omi with him and had been relentlessly praising the Asakura family.
It was always things like, "Lord Saemon-no-kami's unwavering loyalty," "the bond between the Asai and Asakura clans," and "Nagamasa's... my elder brother's foolishness."
Inoue Tsunechika and his entourage were all excited, drinking and making a racket from midday, but I wasn't in the mood for that at all.
"What's wrong, Masayuki! Aren't you going to have a drink too?!"
My father, his face flushed, said this and thrust out a cup of sake.
"No, I'm sorry, Father... but actually, I have business with the Asakura family later. It wouldn't be wise to go out while drunk, so I'll have to decline."
And the lie was told the moment he saw that cup .咄嗟Suddenly
I had no plans with Asakura's retainers to begin with—or rather, there was no way I could have had any plans with them.
(After all, we are nothing more than pawns that the Asakura family can discard at any time.)
Yes, just like a lizard's tail.
I remembered. I vividly recalled the time when we seized Odani Castle while my elder brothers were away and brought the Asakura army inside.
I wonder if my father has already forgotten how Lord Yoshikage treated him at that time.
(This is practically a comedy...)
It was so empty, so utterly. So empty that I felt completely helpless.
After saying goodbye to my father and retainers, I quickly left the small house that Lord Yoshikage had given to my father.
Even though it's April, Echizen is very chilly.
Alternatively, it might have been because the weather was cloudy, and the air wasn't warming up quickly enough from the sunlight.
Shivering from the cold air blowing against my neck, I couldn't stop thinking, "What am I even doing here?"
"...Sentimental, huh? You're a traitor, yet you're worrying about such things."
Such a monologue escapes from my lips.
Together with my father, Hisamasa, I betrayed my older brother, Nagamasa, who was the head of the Asai family.
According to the original plan, my elder brothers were supposed to be killed immediately.
The plan was perfect: the Wakasa Takeda clan would invade northern Omi from the north, the Rokkaku clan from the south, splitting the enemy forces, and then the Asakura and Saito clans would seize that moment to invade and kill our elder brothers.
However, that plan fell apart all too easily—due to the leadership of my elder brother and the strength of the soldiers who believed in him and fought to the end.
As a result, those who rebelled against my elder brother along with my father could no longer stay in northern Omi and were forced to live within the Asakura family's territory.
(But I don't regret it... No, this was for the best. This is how it should be...)
The reason why I betrayed my elder brothers and sided with Hisamasa was simple.
He couldn't abandon his father, as a son.
(My elder brother has changed...)
Up until then, my elder brother—Asai Nagamasa—was an extremely compassionate person.
Although there were disagreements during the succession to the family headship, his attitude towards his father was sincere, and above all, he seemed to value the bond between father and son above all else.
At least, from my perspective as his younger brother.
But that all changed after he married a princess from the Oda family—a woman named Oda Ichi.
Up until then, my eldest brother had at least shown some respect to our father, but at the "family council" held immediately after the marriage, he clearly expressed his opposition to our father.
Needless to say, this was a major event for the members of the Asai family.
Up until that point, the relatives had outwardly been united, but from that day forward, they were forced to clearly define their positions.
And what I saw at that moment was the absolutely cruel fact that all my brothers had abandoned Father and sided with my elder brother.
And I also had an intuitive realization.
I suspect that my elder brother and older brother—Masamoto—would not hesitate to abandon our father if something happened.
It was as if they were complete strangers.
I couldn't do that.
That's why, even if my older brothers abandoned Father, I felt I had to stay by his side and support him.
An era in which fathers and sons, blood relatives, kill each other.
No, or perhaps it was precisely because of those times that I had to fulfill my fatherly obligations to him.
I have neither the military talent nor the administrative talent that my elder brother possesses.
He is well aware that he is nothing more than an ordinary, or perhaps even foolish, man.
Therefore, there was only one thing I, a man with no particular talent, could do—not betray my father. That was all.
"...It's cold, it's really cold."
My monologue is exhaled along with a white mist, and is simply absorbed into the cloudy sky.
It was an overwhelming feeling of emptiness.
I have absolutely no regrets about the way I've lived my life—yet I still feel this emptiness.
A feeling that everything is pointless. And that is probably—
(...I'm sure my father and I will die in this battle.)
—That kind of detached perspective must be what dominates my mind.
Stepping through the entrance of the house given to me by Lord Yoshikage, I took off my shoes and went inside.
It's not a very large place, and there's only one room.
The floor is made of wood, and there's a hearth in the middle—that's all there is to it.
"Oh, you've returned, Masayuki. You could have at least said something."
"...Oh, sorry."
However, a simple room would have been fine.
I thought this as I watched my wife, Yui Asakura, smiling and working with her needles by the hearth.
If I had this wife and was given a luxurious room, I'd probably become an even worse man.
"I already told you, didn't I? You can wait a little longer, Masayuki. You're welcome to decline, but that doesn't necessarily mean it will save you."傲慢Arrogant
After saying that, Yuihime put down the needle, picked up the ladle, and scooped some hot water from the pot hanging above the hearth, pouring it into the teacup that had already been prepared.
Then, he quickly whisked the matcha and offered it to me.撹拌mix
"Please, Masayuki. It must have been cold outside, so this should at least bring you some comfort, right?"
"...thank you"
I received the teacup, and the warmth emanating from the container warmed my body, while my wife's gentle smile warmed my heart.
She, Yuihime, was the half-sister of Lord Yoshikage, who probably only saw me and my father as pawns.
Yui-hime said that she would be turning 19 this year, while they were exchanging sweet nothings on their wedding night.
She married quite late... or rather, she was past her prime, but I thought that only a woman like that was worth to me .嫁stomach宛Address
(She's quite a wonderful woman, by all means.)
—After just a few days of exchanging words and spending time together, I had come to deeply admire Yuihime.
Perhaps because she's the only one older than me, she's quite merciless.
If Yui-hime notices anything about my behavior, she immediately points it out to me.
Her way of referring to me, including the way she does it, isn't exactly princess-like—but that's also one of Yui-hime's charms.
"--Masayuki-san is too kind."
She would say that to me every chance she got.
But after she'd finished scolding me for a while, if I hugged her, pressing my cheek against her rather small, flat chest, she would always gently and slowly stroke my head.
And even now, before I know it, Yuihime is beside me, stroking my cold cheek and then hugging me tightly.
"You look like you're in pain again..."
Her hand reached down to the back of my head and gently stroked it.
"The outside world is too harsh...but it's also true that in this era, it's the only place men can survive."
I can smell a gentle fragrance.
It's a scent that's somehow sweet, that sinks you in completely, and that envelops you in a moist embrace.
"So all I can do is comfort you, Masayuki, and try to make life in the outside world as easy as possible for you... I'm older than you, so you can rely on me more, you know. See...?"
And she emphasizes the fact that she is "older" at every opportunity.
We're only one year apart in age, and yet...
But I, a hopelessly foolish and ordinary person—or perhaps, someone who always felt inferior because I was intimidated by my talented older brothers—could find that gentle invitation incredibly appealing.
I felt like I could be spoiled—that's the kind of charm I found appealing.
"Ah... yes. You can hold me tighter, don't hold back, you can hold me even tighter..."
"...like this?"
"Yes, more... harder. That's right, oh... more."
As I held her in my arms, Yuihime's gentle, soft, and slender body ...撓Tawa
While I longed to feel my wife's softness more, a fear that she might break spread through me, enveloping me in that fear.
And once you become aware of it, you become uncontrollably terrified.
"...sorry"
"No, it's alright..."
Suddenly, I become completely helpless, and she—at that moment, for the first time—doesn't ask for anything.
She just gently strokes my head, cheeks, and back.
Even in the bedroom, when I still hadn't been able to break my wife's hymen—and when I imagined the pain she must have felt, my pathetic penis would wilt—it was the same.
Therefore, we are not truly a married couple.
And yet—and yet—she is kind.
She was always kind, even to men who betrayed her elder brother, her other brothers, and the people of her homeland .屑Scum
As if to comfort or fill the emptiness in my heart, Yuihime always holds me in a gentle embrace.
"Masayuki is just a kind person... I understand that very well, you know?"
"..."
I wanted to say that this is not true.
It's not that I'm kind. Unlike my older brother, I'm just cowardly and have no courage whatsoever.
Yet, he lives each day aimlessly and emptily—he's nothing more than a man utterly worthless.
Or perhaps, a man who, day after day, goes through the work assigned to him, listens to his father's complaints, and before he knows it, night falls, unable to even properly satisfy his wife, leaving him with no choice but to sleep.
But morning comes equally to even the most worthless men.
Each time, I would imagine that my elder brother would accomplish something that day, while reflecting on my own current situation of being unable to do anything, and I would sink into a gloomy mood.
The morning light doesn't just bring hope. It also sprinkles despair—especially on people like me.
"Excuse me, but is Lord Asai Masayuki at home?"
At that very moment, while feeling Yuihime's warmth, I was lost in a gloomy mood—and then it started to resonate.
A man's voice came from the entrance.
"Ah—yes!"
My consciousness was suddenly brought back to reality, and my wife and I quickly pulled away from each other as I hurried towards the front door.
I recognize that voice.
Since coming to Ichijōdani, there has been someone who has been supporting my life all this time—
"Oh, Lord Masayuki. First of all, I would like to apologize for my rudeness in showing up without contacting you."
"Lord Yoshimune... no, that's not true."
Yoshito Kawai, a man with graying hair.
He was the top-ranking administrative official in the Asakura family, and for some reason, he was also someone who looked after me.
Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that she is the only person who visits my house.
The retainers of the Asakura family considered us a nuisance, and my father would never come to me of his own accord. Probably never will, in the future.
"That's good then... Now, there's something I'd like to discuss with Lord Masayuki. Even a short time would be fine, so would you mind giving me some of your time?"
"Uh... well, that is... of course."
Furthermore, despite his high position, Yoshimune is also a very polite man.
Alternatively, it's possible that Lord Yoshikage appreciated his upright and honest character, which allowed him to rise to the top of the Asakura clan's retainers.
He's truly an exceptionally talented person... Unlike me, who's nothing but an ordinary person.
"Now, Lord Masayuki, is Princess Yui at home? Having come this far, it would be rude not to pay my respects to her."
"Yes... I'm inside..."
With that, he invited Yoshimune into the house.
I'm sure they never dreamed that a top civilian bureaucrat would come into such a cramped and shabby home.
Yuihime seemed to have continued her needlework diligently, but as soon as she spotted Yoshimune, she hastily moved it aside.
"M-Mr. Kawai...! It's been a long time. I'm sorry I couldn't offer you any hospitality... I'll make you some tea right away-- "点Ta
"No, there's no need for such concern, Princess Yui. It's been a long time... From what I can see, you don't seem to be ill."
"Oh... Mr. Kawai, I can't believe that..."
Yoshimune bowed his head to Yuihime, adopting a posture as if he were facing Yoshikage.
It happens every time, but she still doesn't seem to get used to it.
From the outside, it was clear that Yuihime was distraught, her mouth opening and closing rapidly.
But that was only natural, if you think about it.
Although Yuihime is Yoshikage's sister, her background is very humble.
Apparently, when Yoshikage's father, Takakage, the 10th head of the Asakura family, went on a hot spring trip, he took advantage of a shrine maiden he liked and fathered Yuihime with her.
However, that is merely a rumor circulating within the Asakura family—and only a handful of people, including Yoshikage, probably know the truth.
"But still, knitting, is that it...?"
"Ah, ah...! Th-this is... well, it's a very unsightly sight...!"
Yuihime frantically tries to hide the cloth with the needle and thread still attached.
It was my torn underwear.
As mere guests, and with our not-so-great financial situation, there was no other way for her and me to make do with what we had.
Indeed, that is a despicable act.
Almost certainly, neither he nor his wife would ever do any sewing.
He has the financial means to replace it immediately if it gets torn.
However, Yoshimune showed no sign of this, and with a slight smile, he began to speak.
"...No, it's not unsightly at all. In fact, I even feel a bit envious..."
"picture--?"
"Those undergarments belong to Lord Masayuki, don't they? Once they're repaired, Lord Masayuki will be able to feel the love that Princess Yui poured into them through her needlework. For a married man, that would be the greatest happiness of all..."直directly
That's quite different from me, a man who, for the rest of his life, wears clothes made by people he doesn't even know.
Saying this, Yoshito nodded repeatedly and laughed.
"Well, I can't stay too long and cause trouble for Princess Yui. I, Yoshitomo, am busy with my daily duties and I'm ashamed to say that I haven't been able to visit you often enough to pay my respects..."
"No, no...! That's not true...!"
As Yoshimune rose to his feet, Yuihime repeatedly bowed to him.
"Please, please continue to look out for Masayuki-sama. I beg you..."
"...Well then, I'll take my leave. Shall we go, Masayuki-dono?"
"Uh... oh, yes...!"
I was staring blankly at the exchange between Yoshitomo and his wife when someone called out to me, and I snapped back to reality.
Urged on by him, I hurried out of the house.
Then, as they climbed into the two-seater basket that had been prepared for them, they could see Yuihime, who had rushed out of the house in a panic, through the observation window in the basket.
The palanquin begins to move. Yuihime bows her head and watches it go.
She didn't move a muscle, and in the end, she never lifted her head until the palanquin turned the corner of the castle town—and physically disappeared from my sight.
"Well... now we're finally alone, Lord Masayuki."
"Uh, yes... that's right."
As I was rocked in the basket, I looked Yoshitomo directly for the first time today.
They must have gone through a lot of hardship.
Although he is 47 years old this year, his face, which is etched with more and deeper wrinkles than those of others his age, always bears an expression full of compassion.
"that..."
"Is something wrong?"
"Um... so... where are we going?"
When I asked that question, Yoshitomo's eyes gleamed.
In her deep, dark eyes, compassion transforms into a powerful will.
"Tomorrow. Not death, but to buy ourselves a little more time to live."
Yoshitomo said so.
Words that feel somehow nostalgic.
It took me a little while to realize that those words were quite similar to those my older brother had used.
"I believe you have already heard that Lord Yoshikage has decided to raise an army..."
"Yes. I'm truly grateful for that, and my father was also very happy for me."
"—There's nothing to celebrate here."
"picture--"
"What do you mean by that?" I started to say, but swallowed my words with a sigh.
I understood what Yoshitomo was trying to say. And it should match what I had been feeling—
"In five days, the official announcement of the departure for battle will be made. However, the real objective is not Lord Masayuki's return to northern Omi. The real aim is the Takeda clan's seizure of Wakasa Province. The expedition to northern Omi is merely a disguise to conceal that intention."
Having said that much, Yoshito coughed loudly.
A nasty cough, as if filled with phlegm. Yoshitomo's body creaked, and it was clear that his life force was being steadily and slowly chipped away.
"—I have shown you a shameful side of myself. But Lord Masayuki, please be very careful."
After a while , Yoshimune clutched his chest and said:咽choking
"During this expedition, you must always maintain a sense of crisis, knowing that you could be abandoned at any moment. And above all, since Lord Asakura Kageakira will be serving as your military supervisor, please do not forget that the enemy is not only in front of you..."
Asakura Kageakira... Even I know him; he's a key figure in the Asakura family.
I had heard that he was a first-class strategist, skilled in military operations and possessing great political acumen.
My father probably wouldn't be able to resist even if something happened.
"Why..."
With a parched mouth, I whispered the question.
It wasn't because I had any deep thoughts behind it. I simply had something I wanted to ask.
"Why would Lord Yoshitomo... tell someone like me something so important..."
To be honest, there isn't much benefit for the Asakura family in keeping me alive.
We, the defectors from Kita-Omi, were the kind of people who could be disposed of at any time if someone wanted to.
And I know I'm not a particularly talented person. So why—
"Because he has a role to play. Lord Masayuki has a role that he must fulfill."
Yoshito looked me straight in the eye and said:
"I hesitate to say this to Lord Masayuki directly, and I know it's rude, but—as a shared understanding among us, Lord Masayuki had absolutely no expectations of us."
That's only natural.
However, when it's said directly to you, it really does hit you hard.
"But, Lord Masayuki, you are kind, unusually so for this era. I, Yoshimune, can see that. And so is Lord Yoshikage... A kind fool... that is my honest assessment of Lord Masayuki at this moment."
kind....
I'm completely baffled as to what that vocabulary, which Yuihime also mentioned, actually means.
"Therefore, Lord Yoshikage entrusted Princess Yui to Lord Masayuki. He believed that you would not bring misfortune to the princess... Of course, I believe so too."
You can tell that Yoshitomo is putting a lot of passion into his words.
It was a voice filled with the kind of emotion a parent would have when entrusting their daughter to their son-in-law, wishing, "Please make her happy."
"No human being is worthless; everyone has a role to play. 'To live and return Princess Yui to you'—that is what Lord Masayuki must do now, his role... This is something he absolutely must fulfill."
"But I... I can't do something like that..."
After saying all that, I felt utterly pathetic and just hung my head.
There's no way I could win against my elder brother.
And to become a rare hero capable of defeating a hawk.
"So, will you leave Princess Yui behind?"
"it is..."
He hesitated to speak.
There's probably no other woman who would shower someone like me with both reprimands and love.
If I die, she will become a widow, and, as is common in the Warring States period, she will be married off to another man.
(...it hurts)
Just imagining it made my chest ache intensely.
The cold air from Echizen seeps into my body, and I get a headache.
(...No.)
I didn't want to hand her over to another man when we weren't even officially together yet.
And then, after thinking about it that far, I suddenly came back to my senses.
(Even though I used to call myself a dullard and an idiot... I guess I did have a pretty strong attachment to women after all...)
Yoshito continued to observe my face the whole time.
Did he really think it would be alright? He spoke to me slowly, carefully explaining things to me as if he were chewing each word.
"In five days, we will receive orders to march out. Until then, you must learn how to survive at all costs. Our enemy is Asai Bizen-no-kami Nagamasa... If you hesitate, you will die. If anything happens, you must run away immediately, even if your father is killed..."
I could feel my heart pounding at those words.
It was as if everything about me could be seen through...
Yoshitomo leaned forward and said concisely.
"Starting tomorrow, I will visit the Magara brothers in the mornings. I have already spoken to them about it. Even if it's just a trial run, it's better to do it than not to do it at all."付焼刃Tsukeyakiba
The palanquin circled around the city and returned to the front of my house.
After exchanging final farewells with Yoshimune and stepping out of the palanquin, the first thing to greet me wasn't my wife, but a relentlessly cold gust of wind.
After watching the basket disappear from sight, I stepped through the front door of the mansion and went inside.
A space warmed by a hearth.
And above all, this house, where the woman I admire awaits me, seems to me to be the most precious thing of all.
(I have to live...)
As I closed the front door, I made a decision.
I must survive no matter what. I must survive and spend the rest of my life with my wife.
As long as the woman I adore is here.