Words were loud in his ears, filling his mind with an unending buzz of noise. Scents were various, people of all kinds bustling around him. Amir found this path new, a road of bricks he'd never walked, stalls he'd never passed, voices he'd never heard. His eyes shot round rapidly, focus shifting wildly. It was overwhelming for certain, an opposite to the repetitiveness he was used to surrounding Amara.
The conversation was still fresh in his mind, ringing out in every absence of noise. And yet, he did not regret one word. He stood among people, free people, he was no longer caged. He could run, he could thrive.
Amir found himself standing outside a stall, fresh fruits ripe, sorted into various bins, each with a corresponding kind of fruit. Along the skin of each fruit lay a thin sheet of condensation, dripping sweetly. Mind aroma drifted from the food, drawing him ever closer toward the food. Amir's eyes scanned the bright coloured fruits happily, searching for one he deemed most appealing.
"What'cha lookin' for, young boy?" The shop keeper spoke, a heavy accent coating his words with a unique timbre.
"Some fruit." Amir responded, returning to idly looking through the selection.
"Hm," the man hummed, "if you're unsure what to get, that one's a safe bet. Ain't never met anyone who had a distaste for it." His words lacked the usual energy of a salesperson, instead focusing more on actual information. Amir nodded, reaching into the pouch hidden in his bag slung over his shoulder. His hands searched through the small bag, sifting until he found the correct amount, pouring the coins onto the wooden counter of the stall.
A warm smile tilted the eyes of the older man, as his hands reached to grab the coins. "Feel free to grab as much as ya' like, any extra is on the house." Amir was unsure why the man had said as he did, as they'd seemingly never met. Regardless, he decided not to dwell on it any further. He led with a nod, before collecting some fruit and collecting them in a small cloth bag.
The sight was familiar, a hill, grass greener beneath the warm sun of dusk. It was familiar, a location he'd visited often in the past with Amara. It was far enough from the majority of town, yet still close enough that they could leave and return within the same day. The sight from atop the hill spanned far, it could see miles in the distance, looking upon countless communities and animals living their daily life in peace. It was beautiful, was what the two had always said every time they met in their spot. And yet, it kept being just as beautiful every day that passed.
His eyes softened as he looked onward, the sight familiar, yet new in his outlook. He couldn't help the warm smile that lined his face, forcing creases along his cheeks, his eyes turning to crescents. Amir let his knees buckle, let himself fall to the grass, let his eyes burn, let the tears fall, let the laughter erupt from within. He felt warm, warmer than he'd ever felt, warmer than when he was surrounded by all the people he'd ever loved. Yet, Amir felt cold in the face of the past coming to an end, felt cold at the sight of his past falling closed, a new life for him beginning.
His back met the grass, Amir felt his face grow dry with tracks left behind in the absence of tears. He let his mouth fall open, allowing his mind to be bared open for the world.
"It's beautiful. It's always been beautiful, that's what we'd always said, right, Amara? Those days, where we sat here, alone, remembering why we were together in the first place. I ask of you, to forget of my existence, so I may forget of yours. Forget I was ever stuck, caged like an animal. To you, I am grateful, and to you I resent. We are no longer tethered, and never shall we be again." His voice came to a silence, as laughter came unending from his lips. He remembered all the times he'd watched her slip, watched her ruin her own reputation, remembered every time he'd forced his mouth shut around a smile. And now, he let it all free.
Only now, in the comfort of her absence could he truly let himself experience. Amir let himself feel, for the first time, he let himself live.
The night was cold on his skin, the sound of bugs fluttering their wings sounding loud in his ears. Amir's chest heaved, moving in an inconsistent rhythm. His eyes found themselves shut, as he let his mind fall silent, letting his surroundings consume him.
Morning came silently. A howl of the wind, the movement of grass, the light filtering through his pale eyelids. Amir felt his eyes dry, opening them slowly. The sight around him was bright in the midday sun, warm with heat. His head was light, dizziness from sleep overwhelming him as he pushed himself into sitting.
With a yawn, he stood. The bench beside him, paint chipping from use. It was no longer familiar, it was no longer intrinsic to him, it was nothing more than a hill. A place he'd laid, a place he'd felt. It was nothing more. And so, he turned around and walked.
His footsteps guided him, let him around the winding streets of bustling workers. People seemed to each carry their own expression when watching him, it was weird, seeing everyone acknowledge him, and not the presence at his side – no longer there.
Reaching for the fruit he'd held onto, he felt his teeth bite into the flesh hungrily. It was old against his mouth, and the taste sweeter than he'd ever experienced. It was unique, a food he'd never tasted before. It was not rich in flavour, not thick in texture, and not harsh to tear like he'd grown used to as a result of Amara's preferred foods, this was new. Something he enjoyed.
Music found its way into his ears, filling his mind. It was warm, a melody that encompassed his whole being. The strumming of chords were sharp, yet soothing. Voices melded together as a couple sung lyrics, filling his surroundings with a unique air. Amir unconsciously followed the tunes, allowing himself to be drawn in by the melodic voices. The couple were young in age, stood beside each other, wearing matching smiles brighter than the sun. They were focused solely on each other as words fell from their lips, hands moving with their instruments.
Amir stood stalk still, watching the sight in awe. He'd not once seen street performers, only ever orchestras curated for Amara. This couple sang with passion, with stories, with emotions. Each sentence carried a weight, a message to unpack. Amir found himself standing before them, watching, until their music eventually came to an end. He couldn't help but reach into his coin purse, and leave some in the small cup placed near the couple's feet. Their warm smiles changed targets, as they nodded their heads at him.
He was unused to the kind demeanor of the people. Amir found himself walking faster than he'd intended towards the inn he'd found himself staying at.
Amir had laid the few items he had haphazardly around the room he'd been assigned to. In one far corner of his room sat his bed, large enough for a sole person to lay in. On the other end there sat a small dresser, with clothes packed neatly into the drawers. Along the floor lay maps, red circles lined on different locations. There were magazines and posters upon the desk, alongside a notebook with an ink pen laying beside it. On the shelf there sat a small collection of books, with titles from various authors. Each book seemed vastly different from each other, however Amir knew that they all had shared themes, and found himself seeking out more like them.
Instinctively, he let himself be guided towards the desk, draping his bag along the back of it, before sitting down himself. Amir opened the notebook, letting his eyes glaze over each page of writing, notes scribbled in a handwriting barely legible, yet clearly readable to himself. He stopped flipping as his eyes found themselves upon a blank page. Amir grabbed the black pen, and began to write.
July 17th, XXXX
I've been wandering, I have yet to leave the town. I want to explore all there is here before I make my leave. I want to understand the land I'd been trapped in.
There are a lot more people than I'd been led to believe – not once had I seen even remotely this many people in one area before, it's new.
The music, it's so – different? Not once had I ever imagined a world where music was this varied, this emotional, this– I don't even know how to describe it. I want to listen to this music, I want to be surrounded forever, let the sound engulf my whole being.
I don't know how much longer I'll stay in this town, I doubt it'd be much longer. I just need another day, one more, to find some guide. I need something to show me where to go, to give me an answer. There are dozens of places I wish to visit, yet, something is almost forcing me to stay, even just another day.
I will leave, I promise I will. I will not let myself stay tethered.