Although she got the ending wrong, everything she said while trying to seduce me was true.
If I had to describe my life in a single word…
"Temperance… I guess."
There could be no better description.
When I was young, I started this work simply to make money.
But as time went on, the words used to describe me began to multiply.
Number one in brand reputation for seven consecutive years.
Number one role model for teenagers for seven consecutive years.
People started to expect things from me, and I accepted it as my calling, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
"Fool."
To appear as a better, cooler person to them, I had to struggle not to cause even the smallest scandal, and at times, I had to risk my life to conquer dungeons.
"Why did I do that?"
Thinking about it now, it's truly ridiculous.
It's not like I was the only Hunter in the Republic of Korea. What was I thinking, trying so hard?
The climax of all those expectations was the Dungeon Wave that unfolded around Gangnam five years ago.
When monsters poured out of countless dungeons, creating a scene of utter chaos.
I fought on the front lines and succeeded in stopping the boss monster, known as the Final Wave.
That was when I earned the title of 'Guardian,' given only to the heroes who save the nation.
And I lost something far too great.
"About five years left, I guess…"
That's all the time I have left as an S-rank Hunter.
I drew on far too much power to resolve the Final Wave.
Using power beyond my limits caused permanent damage to my circuits, and a tiny hole was pierced in the core that stores my mana.
Every time I use my power, the circuits get a little more damaged, and though faint, mana is constantly leaking from the small hole in my core.
Even now, I've lost over twenty percent of my strength compared to my prime.
If this continues for another five years, my power will drop from S-rank to A-rank.
"It's all my karma. My karma."
Looking back on the situation with a cool head, they would have eventually stopped it even if I hadn't fought with all my might.
It was the middle of Gangnam, so maybe more buildings would have been damaged, but that's it.
I was just so engrossed in playing the hero because people were fawning over me.
The interview with that bastard, which the madam reminded me of a moment ago, comes to mind again.
Besides what she mentioned, the guy had added one more thing.
"Is it wrong to live according to your desires?"
The orgies with women were consensual, and the pregnancy scare was resolved by paying a massive amount of child support.
He might be morally reprehensible, but he never broke the law.
Back when I was deep in my hero phase, I hated guys like that to death. Not anymore.
"I'm so fucking jealous."
I'm jealous of that life.
I'm so jealous of people who live freely expressing their desires, it's killing me.
Those guys are probably at some hotel suite right now, screwing all sorts of women.
So what's left for me, after a lifetime of temperance?
I get coldly rejected by my one and only wife, and I can't even eat a meal with the daughter I raised so preciously. What the hell do I have left?
"It's all so pointless, so empty…"
In a fit of anger, I considered just sleeping with the madam who tried to seduce me, but a sense of revulsion washed over me.
"Heh heh."
I only imagined it, yet I was already worried about what would happen if people found out and were disappointed in me.
The expectations people have for me are like a handful of straw.
If I don't hold onto at least that, I'll truly have nothing.
Somehow, that's what it has come to.
"Uhm…"
As I was sinking into depression, a fat young man spoke to me.
"Did you call for a designated driver?"
"Ah, you must be the driver."
"Yes."
A very young man had arrived.
He looked to be in his early twenties at most.
I felt a little anxious.
My car is quite expensive.
It's the car my wife gave me, insisting I had to drive something that suited my status, even when I repeatedly refused.
What was its name again?
Anyway, I heard it was easily worth over a hundred million won.
"You're a good driver, right?"
"Of course."
I asked out of caution, and the young man answered with a friendly expression.
He looks like a cute little piglet.
If he lost some weight, his features would really stand out.
I didn't say it out loud.
I heard that these days, people who give unsolicited advice are called geezers.
I want to remain a cool ajeossi who accepts everything about the younger generation.
"Alright, then. Please drive safely."
"Yes."
I handed the car key to the young man and got into the back seat.
Soon, the car started moving.
The objects flying by quickly seemed to pass by very slowly in my eyes.
I read the words on the passing signs one by one, then looked at the young man in the driver's seat.
"You're a good driver."
"Haha… thank you."
"Please understand if I talk a bit. When I'm drunk, my greatest pleasure is chatting with the driver on the way home."
"Ah, yes."
When did it start?
Was it around the time the conversations between my wife and me, and between my daughter and me, began to fade?
I grew hungry for conversation.
From then on, I started to enjoy talking with the designated drivers who took me home when I was drunk.
They were usually around my age, so our sense of humor and life experiences matched well, making the conversations enjoyable.
This is my first time with a young driver, so I'm not sure how this young man will be.
"Are you married, by any chance?"
"Ah, no."
"Then is there someone you like?"
"That… yes."
Seeing him hesitate before answering, it's clearly a one-sided crush.
In times like these, an adult has to offer some advice.
"Later on, when you're with the woman you like, a certain moment will come."
"What kind of…?"
"A feeling like, 'I could live with this woman for the rest of my life,' or 'It has to be this woman and no one else.'"
"Ah…"
He probably doesn't understand yet.
I was the same way back then.
"When that time comes, you'll feel an insane urge to propose. A feeling like, 'I have to make this woman mine before someone else snatches her away.'"
"…I think I know what you mean."
He already understands that feeling?
An excellent student.
But the important part starts now.
"That is the moment of greatest crisis."
"…Excuse me? A crisis?"
"Yes, a crisis."
The young man's eyes, small and buried in flesh, narrowed.
"I don't quite understand what you mean…"
It was understandable that he didn't get it.
It must sound absurd.
To think that the moment you feel you want to live with the woman you love forever and decide to propose is the greatest crisis.
But it's true. It is a crisis.
"You might not understand now. But trust me, when that time comes, just shut your eyes and hold it in."
If you can just endure that one moment, the crisis will eventually pass.
"Ah, yes…"
Seeing him nod with a reluctant expression, he clearly didn't accept it.
"Remember this. You have to hold it in."
By emphasizing it twice, I've done the best I can.
After that, whether he proposes or not, he'll have to take responsibility for the consequences of his own actions.
"But, uhm…"
The young man, who had been focused on driving, suddenly spoke up.
"Hunter Son Si-woo, do you dislike being with your wife now…?"
Oops.
Did I get too heated in my story?
I quickly waved my hands and forced a relaxed smile.
"Haha! Of course not. My wife and I are still as passionate as ever. It's just what other people say. It's not me, but it seems marriage is tough for others."
"Ah, I see."
Rumors start from a single person's mouth.
The moment that young man starts a story with 'This is a secret, but…' to his parents or friends, the rumor will spread like wildfire until everyone in the Republic of Korea knows.
I managed to brush it off, but to be sure, I need to change the subject.
"Are you a student? Or do you have a job?"
"Ah… a student."
"No wonder you looked so young. Are you doing this to earn tuition money?"
"Haha… yes."
It must be tough.
Even if it's for the future, driving someone else's car late at night, and even putting up with a drunkard's ramblings—there's no way it's easy.
But.
"I'm jealous…"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm jealous of your youth. I was young once, too, but I don't know when I got so old. Haha!"
I laughed awkwardly.
The young man, who had been laughing awkwardly along with me, cautiously opened his mouth.
"Uhm… Hunter-nim."
"Go ahead."
"…If you and I could swap bodies, would you do it?"
"You and me?"
"Yes."
The young man and I are at complete opposite poles.
Me, old, but living a life where I can enjoy every luxury.
Him, a young man with nothing.
Ah, is this that 'balance game' thing that's popular among young people these days?
After a moment of thought, I finally spoke.
"Wouldn't that be a terrible deal?"
"I guess since you have so much…"
"No, no, I mean for you, the driver."
"Excuse me…?"
The young man asked back with a bewildered expression.
"With youth, you can do anything. It'd be a huge waste to trade it with someone like me. Don't you think?"
"Uh… is, is that so?"
He looked like he couldn't understand.
Well, value changes depending on a person's perspective.
For me, on the verge of fifty, all I want is youth, nothing else matters. For the young man working day and night to pay for tuition, he must be jealous of the comfort I have.
I lightly patted the young man's shoulder.
"It just means that youth holds limitless opportunities."
"Haha, yes."
The young man replied with a much brighter smile.
When he smiles, he really does look like a cute little piglet.
If he just lost some weight, his features would really shine.
I know a guy who's a genius at helping people lose weight, maybe I should introduce him…
Nah, forget it.
Let's not forget that the moment you start telling people how to live their lives, you become a geezer.
The vehicle entered the main gate.
The car parked smoothly in the spot prepared in the yard.
"We've arrived, Hunter-nim."
"Oh my, we got here in no time while we were talking."
I get out of the car and take out my wallet.
I pull out a one-million-won check and hand it to the young man.
"H-Hunter-nim. This is…"
"It's because I really enjoyed our conversation. Don't feel burdened, just take it. You know who I am, right? S-rank Hunter Son Si-woo."
"Yes, I know."
The young man takes the one-million-won check with a trembling hand.
Seeing how well he converses even with an older person, he must be a good kid.
A young man like this would make a fine son-in-law…
"Not my daughter, you punk!"
"Heek…!"
"Ah."
I got ahead of myself again.
"Oh my, I'm sorry. I suddenly got lost in a strange thought."
"Ah, it's alright."
He looks very startled, maybe because I suddenly shouted.
"You worked hard today. You should get going."
"Ah, yes."
The young man carefully folded the one-million-won check, put it in his pocket, and waddled away.
When he reached the gate, he turned around.
"Uhm, Hunter-nim!"
"Yes?"
"I still think I'd prefer your body over mine."
Is he talking about the balance game from before?
"Haha, thank you."
I want to give him a bright smile, but a bitter one comes out instead.
If he took a closer look at how I'm living, he would never say such a thing.
"Thank you so much for the trade."
Is he referring to the designated driving as a trade?
"Haha! It was a good trade for me, too."
The young man bows.
Because of his belly, which stuck out like a mountain, it seems 30 to 40 degrees is his limit.
With that final greeting, the young man left through the gate.
"A very polite young man, indeed."
I entered the house with a satisfied expression.
A dead silence clung to my entire body, and the good mood I'd felt for a moment quickly dissipated.
I grabbed the doorknob to the master bedroom, but then stopped.
There was no way I could sleep next to my wife smelling of alcohol, so I went into one of the guest rooms, took off my coat, and collapsed onto the bed.
"Haaah…"
The scent of fabric softener from the freshly washed sheets seeped deep into my nose.
How nice would it be if I could wash my life this cleanly?
If I could wash it like new, leaving nothing behind, and start over.
At the very least, I wouldn't make the same regrets twice.
"Ha, what am I thinking…"
The useless thoughts were brief.
Slowly, sleep began to creep in.
"Right. Tomorrow is another…"
Day, I suppose.
I was out like a light.