On the streets of Konoha.
Mizuna walked toward Kakuzu.
Kakuzu had never been so shocked in his life.
Too... too fast! I didn't even have time to weave signs! And usually, people shout attack names when they use skills... this guy just auto-attacked me to death...
Kakuzu watched the figure approaching him.
Terrifying! Both speed and strength are off the charts! I feel like three of my hearts exploded... am I going to die next?
Mizuna walked up to Kakuzu, grabbed him by his long hair, and asked:
"How about now? Kakuzu? Still want to split the money like that?"
Kakuzu ignored the pain in his body and shook his head frantically.
"No! No more! Boss, I think your way is better!"
Mizuna nodded.
"Good! 'Ruzi ke jiao ye!' (This child is teachable / You have potential)."
Kakuzu was confused.
"Ru... Ruzi (Child)? Boss... I'm not married, I don't have children..."
Mizuna facepalmed.
"Idiot... it means you can still be saved!"
Kakuzu said "Oh," thinking:
Do all educated people speak in riddles these days?
Mizuna dragged Kakuzu back into the alley and threw him on the ground.
"Speak. How much did you sell the Liqun for?"
This time, Kakuzu didn't dare lie.
"320 Ryo a pack..."
Mizuna was shocked.
"How much? 320 Ryo for a pack of that crap? The customer is your Sage of Six Paths (God), is this how you deceive your God?"
Kakuzu turned his head away.
"I don't believe in the Sage of Six Paths..."
Mizuna was speechless.
"Fine! From now on, pick up goods at my factory. Tell me if you need new products. For old products, just sign the book and write down the quantity."
Kakuzu nodded in agreement.
Mizuna continued:
"Let's go. I'll take you to get the goods now."
Mizuna led Kakuzu into the factory and found a group of workers gathered together.
"This cigarette tastes good. What should we name it?"
"Of course, the Little Boss should name it! The names he gave the first three were great."
"I'm with him!"
Mizuna walked up with Kakuzu.
"What are you guys talking about? Is the cigarette finished?"
The workers turned around.
"Hello, Little Boss! xN"
Mizuna nodded.
"How is it? How did the research go?"
The workers started talking all at once.
"Little Boss! Little Boss! We figured it out in three hours! The tobacco quality and spice formula you gave were excellent, it didn't take long!"
"That's right! Little Boss, we finished making it, but we don't know what to name it..."
"So we were waiting for you to come back and name it..."
"I'm with him!"
Mizuna looked at the two batches of cigarettes on the table and the red packaging box. He said solemnly:
"Let's call it Hwa Gae (Hua Zi)!" (Note: Chunghwa cigarettes, the ultimate status symbol in China).
The workers murmured.
"Hua Zi... Gorgeous yet elegant!"
"Feels very grounded."
"I don't know why, but I just want to have a stick."
"I'm with him!"
Mizuna looked at the two batches and said:
"As I wrote on the paper, this cigarette comes in Soft Pack and Hard Pack. The prices are different. Although I don't plan to sell them yet..."
Kakuzu heard this.
"What? Not selling?"
Mizuna turned back.
"I'm giving them as gifts. Of course, they have to be special. You sell goods too fast. I'm afraid by the time I give the gift, everyone will already be smoking it."
Kakuzu said confidently:
"That's called ability!"
Mizuna rolled his eyes. He picked up a Soft Hwa Gae and a Hard Hwa Gae and handed them to Kakuzu.
"Try them."
Kakuzu lit them up immediately. After smoking both, he savored the taste.
"Both are very good. The Soft one has a richer flavor than the Hard one. Top-tier goods~"
Kakuzu finished smoking and asked Mizuna:
"Boss, how much do you plan to sell them for?"
Mizuna thought for a moment.
"Let's not set a price yet. There will be more cigarettes in the future."
(Author Note: I don't smoke, so please suggest cigarette brands in the comments!)
Kakuzu was unhappy.
"Such good cigarettes and you're not selling them? Do you know how much money you're wasting?"
Mizuna ignored the money-grubber. He told the workers to package the cigarettes and engrave the text.
A while later, several cartons were handed to Mizuna.
Kakuzu also came out with his stock.
Looking at the cartons in Mizuna's hands, his eyes turned red with greed.
How much silver is that worth!
They left together. Before leaving, Mizuna told the workers that Kakuzu was the executive in charge of foreign exports and to let him sign for goods.
On the road, Kakuzu kept staring at the cigarettes in Mizuna's hands.
Mizuna was speechless. He opened a carton, took out a pack, and handed it to Kakuzu.
"Here. Smoke it yourself. It's too early to sell."
Kakuzu took the pack and saw it was a Hard Pack. He whispered:
"Stingy! Didn't even give me the good one (Soft)."
But Kakuzu still smiled and tucked it into his chest. He turned to leave the village.
"Leaving... Time to make big money!"
But suddenly, two familiar figures appeared in front of him again.
Kakuzu gulped but kept walking forward.
In the distance, the two figures watched Kakuzu approach and mocked him.
Koki Gekko pointed at Kakuzu and said:
"It's just you left now! Kakuzu~" (Note: JoJo Part 3 / Dio vs Jotaro meme).
Kakuzu clenched his fists.
"Bastards... you two!"
He walked toward Koki and Kotetsu Maru.
Seeing Kakuzu approaching, Kotetsu laughed.
"Ho? You're approaching us? Instead of running away, you're coming right to us?"
Kakuzu's eyes burned with anger.
"I can't beat the sht out of you without getting closer!"
Koki mocked:
"Ho ho! Then come as close as you like!"
The two pulled out piles of shuriken and walked toward Kakuzu.
Under the setting sun, the three walked toward each other. The surrounding villagers seemed to see the overlapping shadows of two other legendary figures (Dio and Jotaro)...
---
Back at the Senju Residence.
Mizuna arrived home.
He saw Hashirama scratching his head frantically.
"Brother-in-law, what's wrong? Do you have lice?"
Hashirama looked up and sighed.
"It's Mizuna~ I was wondering what to wear... I usually wear this kimono Mito made for me in the village. I can't wear my Hokage Robes or Battle Armor to my son's wedding..."
Mizuna smiled.
"Don't worry, Brother-in-law. I solved the clothing issue. Guaranteed satisfaction!"
Hashirama's eyes lit up.
"As expected of my little brother-in-law! Haha, now I can relax."
Mizuna took a pack from the opened carton and handed it to Hashirama.
"Brother-in-law, have a Hwa Gae ↗ ↘!" (Note: Meme intonation ").
Hashirama took the cigarette.
"Oh! Is this the popular cigarette lately? What brand is this? I haven't seen it before."
Mizuna said confidently:
"This is a new brand I developed called Hwa Gae (Hua Zi). Yours is the Hard Pack. There's also a Soft Pack, which I'm giving to Brother Mokuma as a wedding gift."
Hashirama was interested.
"New product? Speaking of which, I haven't smoked lately. Mito said she doesn't like the smell."
Although he said he hadn't smoked lately because of Mito, Hashirama skillfully opened the pack, took one out, and lit it.
Inhale...
"Hiss~ Phew~ Tastes great~"
Suddenly, Hashirama thought: If the Hard Pack tastes this good, wouldn't the Soft Pack be even better?
He looked at Mizuna.
"Um... Mizuna... Can Brother-in-law..."
Before he could finish, Hashirama felt someone standing behind him. He turned around and saw Mito. Her hair was floating (Kushina style), her body glowing with golden Chakra, and she was holding a spatula menacingly.
"Hashirama... you better explain... what you are doing!"
Mito said coldly.
Hashirama sweated a drop of cold sweat.
"Uh... um... Mito, let me explain..."
He looked at Mizuna, his eyes lighting up with a scapegoat idea.
"It was Mizuna! Mizuna asked me to help him test the cigarette!" Hashirama shouted, pointing at Mizuna.
Mito turned her head slowly to look at her little brother.
Mizuna, holding the cartons of cigarettes: "......"
......