Something inside her had changed. Teela knew it as an irrefutable truth. But, as per usual, she was ignorant of the specifics that she longed for.
She had gotten a taste of what was out there and, her curiosity so greatly kindled, it truly became unthinkable that she would remain untaught. Her desire for answers and freedom from the shackles of youth and isolation could not be restrained for a moment longer. She would have to take what she wanted by any means available.
Teela had seen with her own eyes an entity that could only have been a God, for its presence had awoken in her sensations so foreign and powerful that there could not be another explanation to their precedence. It had been like a dream, one that she wished she could have appreciated much more extensively. But it had been real, and she had been there, and she had been changed.
"Leroh, who was that woman?" She sat beside her brother, both with their backs against the entrance of the tavern, not yet ready to explain their absence to their mother. Leroh had suggested waiting for a while, and Teela had been happy to obey.
"It was the Mantis, a God servant." He seemed tired, and spoke with a hint of exasperation, but she had not been expecting an answer at all.
"Did you know of her?"
"Yes, she is known among the men. But it's a secret, so don't go prattling about it all over town."
She nodded absentmindedly. "And the other woman, she was not a woman at all. It was her God."
Her brother said nothing, which was a typical reaction. Teela wanted to ask an almost insurmountable number of questions, but knew better than to do so. She was surprised that he would share even that much with her, so she stayed silent and continued to pore over the details that had been revealed to her.
The Gods looked like regular people, she'd learned. But they could never be mistaken for such, if the one she'd seen was any indication. Her unearthly air and the way her presence had ambushed all of Teela's senses so extremely could never be overlooked. She had been able to feel, hear and almost smell the strangeness flowing around the God from the moment she had regained consciousness. It had overwhelmed and, she dared say, enticed her.
The Gods that owned the world walked among them, and she had spoken to one.
And the Mantis was a God servant. That would mean, she surmised, that she'd sold herself to the being in the forest. Had she done so through prayer?
Could Teela sell herself to the forest God?
"Teela," her brother said and drew her attention back to him. He'd gotten up and extended a hand toward her to help her up. "We should go inside, I'll talk to Mother. You keep your mouth shut."
She obeyed. She had no desire to talk to their mother. So, when they entered the building and her brother headed toward the back of the room where the door to the kitchen awaited, she ran upstairs, to the small bedchamber shared between herself and Leroh.
In the far right corner, Teela had many years ago discovered a gap in the wooden planks of the floor. The small opening sometimes allowed her to listen in on conversations being had in the kitchen, so she made her way there and pressed her chest flat on the planks of wood to push an ear over the gap.
At first she heard nothing. Then came the sound of a short inhalation of breath and a loud, reverberating slap. A few moments later, she heard the familiar rattling of a whisk against a bowl and knew her mother had gone back to cooking after smacking her son across the face with an open hand. Teela had been surprised previously by how much that hurt and shocked the ear rather than the cheek. Leroh must have been temporarily deafened from such a blow, she thought.
"You dare lie," her mother said. "I am ashamed of you."
"I apologize."
"The folk who were there saw, boy. They told me what you did." The rhythm of the whisking remained unaffected by her words.
"I abandoned my sister. Of that I can never be sorry enough. But I got her back, Mother. She is upstairs, unharmed."
At that the sound finally stopped. A sharp intake of breath, and then a sigh. "She didn't take her?"
"No. She stunned her, only. Temporarily. Teela's fine, now."
A period of silence held for a while, and then the clang of the whisk hitting the sides of the metal bowl filled the space once again.
"Good. That is good." Her mother's voice was clear and grave. She didn't speak for a time after that, but Leroh didn't retire from the kitchen. Then her voice reached up to Teela's ears again, this time angry. "You left your sister in the presence of that creature. You are a coward."
He made no reply. She wasn't done.
"You allowed the monster inside in the first place, when the manly thing to do would've been to deny her service. Or kick her out at the first sign of trouble."
Leroh released a shaky breath but raised no argument. "Your father would've been shamed by you. Eighteen years of age, but I see nothing of a man in you."
"I am sorry, Mother. I have failed our family."
"You have. Now go to bed. We must be up before Sunrise tomorrow to make up for the business you cost us."
And so earlier than the Sun the following day, the tavern was in motion. Her mother had not even looked her way.
Teela was scrubbing a particularly sticky stain on the dark wood of a circular table. She would then sweep the floor and, when her work inside the main area of the tavern was done, she would see to the upkeep of the stables, which was a fortunate turn of luck because it would give her a well-timed opportunity to ready the horse for travel.
She had no plan, but she'd work with what little there was to do. Her desire to explore the wonders of the world was too strong, and her shackles too tight. Nothing else mattered, nothing else could she think about. The cage had, all of a sudden, become unbearably suffocating.
She had changed.
Children were not to be told of the Gods, or their magic. They were not to be endangered by the knowledge of what existed outside their town. It was, as had been explained to Teela countless times before, for her own good that she remain in ignorance. Regardless of the fact that she did not consider herself a child, her elders insisted on keeping her in the dark. But she had picked up enough information over the years to piece some basic things together.
There were Gods, of course. And through prayer, one might communicate with them, somehow. But it was not safe to do so. It was not safe to talk openly or even think about a specific God for too long, lest it heard.
It was good manners where she lived to act as though no magic or deities existed in the world at all. The fear of reaching out to the Gods, whether purposely or inadvertently, stemmed from the probability that one might give too much of oneself when dealing with the magical beings whose power humankind had no choice but to bow to.
Some, she understood, gave themselves to the Gods voluntarily, like the men the Mantis had been aiming for when she'd killed Teela the previous day. Those who gave themselves were called God servants, Leroh had led her to understand. Those who refused or, like herself, were not allowed to go anywhere near religion, were free.
The irony of it made her chuckle under her breath, and Leroh, who had been cleaning mugs behind the bar a few paces away, raised his head and fixed her with a glare. He had not spoken a word to her since his conversation with their mother, and she understood why; but it little mattered now. She would let him live his life in peace soon enough. No longer would she burden him with her existence, when she was gone.
The rest of the morning passed in familiar monotony, and Teela carried out her assigned tasks with a feeling she would never have foreseen: comfort. Shockingly, it saddened her to know that she would not sweep the smelly old floorboards again, or clean out the ashes and soot from the hearth, so frequently performed a chore that she could have done it with her eyes closed. She would never again stand in a corner of the cozy, dimly lit room and quietly observe the customers as they ate and drank and talked and laughed. Many a thing had she learned of the world from the people she'd poured for, and now she would not see any of them again.
At last, she made her way to the stables located behind the main building that held the business on the lower story, and the family's private chambers on the top. The adjoining structure was much more rudimentary, built shortly after she was born by her father's own two hands. She had always held a particularly sentimental attachment to the space, partly due to the knowledge of who had constructed it, but also because of the creatures she tended for there. Many a traveler would make a stop in her hometown, Pirn, on their way to the capital city from the large port in the south, and a tavern was usually the first or second establishment such a traveler might want to patronize. Teela had delighted in caring for their weary horses. Such gentle creatures, they were. So majestic, yet so patient. She had always tried to spend as much time as her mother would allow in the company of the friendly beasts.
Her most beloved friend, however, was the main reason she so greatly preferred to work the tavern stables over any other chore. Clover, the family horse, was the only being in existence who Teela knew truly loved her. It was a peculiar thing, the purity and strength of an animal's regard. Her relationship with a creature that could not interpret or express complex thoughts and emotions had seemed to her more honest than any other bond she'd ever formed.
As she walked over to the chestnut gelding's stall, she felt again a pang of pain in her chest. The smell of wet straw and horse, the low buzzing of flying insects and the sight of her only friend awaiting her approach with an impatient toss of his head sharply reminded her that she would never again feel the familiar welcome of this safe haven.
After feeding and watering him, she brushed Clover's coat for a time, then tended to the things that needed doing. It took a while to muck the stalls and put down new bedding but, as soon as she was finished with the duller duties, she surreptitiously saddled and bridled her mount.
Clover was a patient and tender beast, and knowing that he'd be with her made it all much easier to bear. She was not an experienced horseback rider, but he knew her and would allow her time to adjust. A year or two before, Teela had been possessed with the notion that she must acquire the ability. Her mother and brother had strongly opposed, but with enough persistence she had gotten her way, and Leroh had taken her to the grasslands outside Pirn for a day to teach her, just enough to shut her up. It had been enough. She could not ride safely or graciously, but ride she would.
Well before the time of day when customers generally started to show up, she left. Her mother would not leave the cooking unattended for a moment with all the day's preparations to make, and Leroh would be busy dealing with all manner of tasks. They would both assume she worked at the stables still, and it would be a while before anyone noticed her absence and went looking for her.
Leading Clover by the reins, she walked down the narrow dirt street to the area of the town she felt a magical, bone-deep pull toward. The Mantis had probably stayed overnight at the small inn located in that direction, the Sparrow's Nest. Teela could feel the woman's annoyance and impatience, almost as if the feelings originated within herself, but she knew it was not so. Emotion radiated off her and reached Teela almost like a shout, impossible to miss or ignore.
The closer she got to the woman, the clearer the feeling became. When she had felt it the day before, it had confused and fascinated her. But, when the heat of emotion had finally cooled, Teela had been left with a surge of restlessness stronger than she'd ever experienced. The attraction and connection to the stranger pounded like the beat of a drum inside her chest.
The Mantis was pulling out of the inn stables astride a beautiful black stallion and, when they came within each other's view, the woman's head snapped violently in Teela's direction. Confusion, anger, irritation. Fear. It was like a gust of wind blowing a scent in her face; the stranger's feelings as clear and recognizable as her own had ever been.
Teela walked over, still holding the horse's reins in a fisted hand, to where the Mantis remained motionless. "Good morning." She said, a tentative smile on her lips.
"What do you want?"
"I'm coming with you. I'd like to learn from you. Perhaps offer myself to your God, if she'll have me."
"No."
"I will follow you."
She was looking up at the woman, trying to make eye contact. Her hood covered the upper half of her face like it had when they'd first met, but she thought it polite to pretend to look into her eyes.
"I kill people." She said. Then her hand shot up to pluck the fabric back from her face and reveal the breathtaking appearance underneath. The unnaturally reddish eyes that looked back at Teela held no kindness. It might have been a frightening sight, in different circumstances, but Teela let the steady beat of her heart ground her and maintained her friendly approach.
"I understand. It is your duty to your God."
"I kill people, and eat them. Would you like to be killed and eaten?" The Mantis kept her eyes firmly locked on Teela's as she spoke, her entire body as unmoving as only a predator's could be.
Teela felt her feet move of their own accord and force her to take a step back, then, her mouth popping open and producing a short gasp. That piece of information her brother had not shared.
"Teela!" he yelled from behind her.
She turned around, feeling more terrified with every breath. Leroh was running toward them up the dusty path of the street, a dark green apron still wrapped around his waist.
"You rutting, selfish bitch! What are you doing!"
"I'm leaving. I cannot stay here."
He had caught up with her and grabbed her by the arm, but she shook loose and settled her body in a more easily defensible position. "I don't care what you say. Or Mother. I do not belong here."
"You will come back home this instant. Mother will kill us both if she finds out what you tried to do. Hurry up, now!" He spun around and motioned with his head to follow. She stayed where she was. "Teela, I have never used force with you, but I swear I will beat you bloody if you don't do as I say, right now."
She averted her gaze from his enraged glowering and, her heart pounding wildly inside her chest, she dared to provoke him further by putting a foot on Clover's stirrup. Before she could fully mount his back, however, two strong hands gripped her waist painfully tight and thrust her hard atop her brother's shoulder. He'd carry her like an infant, kicking and screaming, back in the direction she'd come from, she realized with horror. Blood rushed to her face and ears and she let out a wild cry of frustration.
"Do not touch the girl."
Leroh paused. He'd been in the process of walking away from the scene, pointing Teela's upper half toward the Mantis astride her horse. The ire on her face was unmistakable, and yet Teela felt it much deeper than that. It was an all-consuming, cold emotion that awoke in her a sudden urge to flee. She had never experienced or perceived in another a feeling so passionate and menacing, so unfathomably vicious.
The Mantis was perfectly still, just like in the tavern when she'd been observing the blond man. The daunting memory of what she'd witnessed then came into Teela's mind and a frozen shiver racked her spine. The woman had kissed her prey, killed him, and then raised her mouth up to his eye once he lay dead on the ground. The rhythmic movement of her throat and the swallowing sounds she'd heard suddenly weighed with new meaning and Teela's breath started coming in quick pants of desperation.
Leroh turned to face the woman. After a moment that felt like an eternity, he put her down, and, when her feet touched the ground, Teela stepped away from him and back toward her horse.
Nobody said anything for a time. Her brother stared open-mouthed at the Mantis, a sheen on his forehead and upper lip revealing his fear. She was staring back, but her anger had ebbed significantly. A number of spectators were now gathered at a safe distance to observe the travesty that was her attempt to flee, and Teela suddenly realized they were all waiting for her. She had to make a decision.
Don't think about it.
"I'm going with her."