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Chapter 5: Four Years Later
Four Years Later, Konoha Village Gate
Two figures, one large and one small, finally arrived beneath the grand gates of Konoha Village.
"Is this Konoha? So impressive!"
The black-haired boy reached up to ruffle his signature spiky hair, his wide eyes filled with awe. Though he'd seen it countless times in anime from his past life, the real thing hit differently. After years wandering the ninja world with Jiraiya, witnessing its poverty and backwardness, facing this near-modern Konoha suddenly gave him a surreal, otherworldly feeling.
"How about it? Konoha Village is pretty grand, right!"
The tall middle-aged man in a black robe beside him spoke with undisguised pride. Even though he tried to play it cool, his eyes and expression betrayed his deep love for Konoha.
Listening to Jiraiya's unabashed boastfulness, Rubik sighed inwardly:
'No surprise. This is the guy who, for Konoha's sake, told the woman he'd loved for years, "If you betray Konoha, I'll kill you." Among the inheritors of the Will of Fire, Jiraiya's love for the village ranks top-tier...'
The system chimed in agreement. Rubik's gaze swept toward two figures speeding from the gate, and the corner of his mouth curved up. He casually pulled a kunai from his leg pouch, spinning it deftly on his fingertip.
He whispered to Jiraiya beside him: "Though, looks like not everyone's welcoming us."
"Hm?"
Before Jiraiya could respond, the two figures flanked them perfectly, one in front and one behind!
"Who are you? Show your identification! Otherwise, we'll treat you as suspects and hand you over to interrogation!"
The arrivals sounded stern—none other than Konoha's legendary gate guardians, the Izumo and Kotetsu duo, the "big sauce" village protectors said to make even Pain take the side door!
*Ding-dong~ C-rank Izumo and Kotetsu unlocked. Host can obtain full cards by defeating or killing them.*
A notification only Rubik could hear rang in his mind.
"Ah~~ This familiar voice. It's been a while."
Rubik sighed inwardly.
"Host, you're so mean. We just chatted three hours ago."
"Shut it, System. I'm bonding with my dear Unlock-chan."
"Pah! Simp, go fu—*zzzt...*"
The system voice cut off abruptly.
Rubik's eyes returned to the vigilant gate guardians, his kunai spinning even faster, a faint smile on his face.
'Finally, time to show off in Konoha... er, display my strength. Kinda exciting. No, stay cool! Gotta be suave—time to activate the Uchiha ancestral Show-Off Jutsu!'
He cleared his throat, struck a pose, and said confidently:
"Since you've asked so sincerely, I'll graciously tell you..."
"Hahaha! Good question!"
A booming laugh rudely interrupted Rubik's opener.
Jiraiya yanked off his black robe. With a *poof* of smoke and a light *bang*, he stood imposingly atop his summoned toad, Gamaken.
"I am the Toad Sage of Mount Myoboku, the Toad Immortal! One of the Legendary Sannin, Lord Jiraiya— that's me!"
Seeing Jiraiya's iconic white hair and summon, Izumo and Kotetsu's wariness melted into excitement. They hastily stowed their weapons.
"Lord Jiraiya! You're back!"
Kotetsu's voice trembled as he said excitedly: "You've been gone so long—must've been on some super tough mission!"
Izumo shoved his partner, urging: "Kotetsu! Lord Jiraiya just finished a grueling mission—he needs rest! Go report to the Hokage!"
Kotetsu grumbled at his companion: "Hey, Izumo! Why me? I have tons of questions for Lord Jiraiya!"
"Questions? I do too!"
Izumo shot back defiantly.
"Ahahaha!"
Jiraiya laughed heartily from atop Gamaken, hands on hips: "You two, no fighting over me! Feels weird being chased like this by two big guys!
Don't worry—the latest volume of *Icha Icha Paradise* is done. You'll get it soon!"
"Really? Awesome!"
"Too good! I've been waiting forever!!!"
They paused, then pointed at each other in unison: "So you too..."
Rubik watched the scene, veins bulging on his forehead. He thought, utterly exasperated: *What is this? Feels like I'm the 'useless husband' here!*
Seizing the moment, he flew a kick straight into Jiraiya's butt!
"Take that, you old perv!"
"Whaa?!"
The surprise attack made Jiraiya yelp girlishly. He shot forward like a massive cannonball toward the duo, lost in their "fellow fan" shock.
"Huh? Waa!!!" ×2
Izumo and Kotetsu blacked out briefly before an overwhelming force slammed them!
The trio tumbled like rolling gourds, crashing into the greenery by the gate amid screams.
*Crack! Crack! Crack!*
After snapping three bowl-thick trees, they stopped in a mess of branches, dirt, and leaves, all sporting cartoonish swirl eyes.
*Ding-dong! Congrats, host! Defeated Izumo and Kotetsu—full cards obtained! Defeated Legendary Sannin Jiraiya—fragment progress: 98%. Keep it up for glory!*
Rubik ignored the system. He dashed into the woods, yanked the muddy, leafy Jiraiya up, and yelled furiously: "You old fart! We agreed on the way—I'd handle the gate show-off! You broke your word! I even covered your tab for those girls! Traitor! Deadbeat!"
Guilty, Jiraiya averted his eyes and muttered: "Well... cough... got caught up in the vibe, couldn't help it. Besides, something this fun—even I, the Toad Immortal, never did! You're a genius, kid!"
He forced a dazzling smile and gave Rubik a thumbs-up.
Rubik's face flushed red. Enraged, he shouted: "You shameless perv—how dare you! I'll kill you!"
"Whoa whoa! Brat! Not the face—I eat with it!"
...
"Ow! Why the nuts?! You traitor—I'm disciplining you for real!"
Jiraiya hopped in pain.
"Bring it! Lose, and I'll take your name!"
Rubik fired back, lunging again.
...
Izumo and Kotetsu, barely crawling from the bushes, watched the dust-flying master-disciple brawl. They exchanged glances, then quietly slipped away to get backup.
...
**Hokage's Office**
The bruised, disheveled duo bowed 90 degrees in unison before the imposing Hokage desk:
"Red bean mud private horse sen de xi ta!!! (We're very sorry!!!)"
Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage—Ninja Professor, shadow-level powerhouse, Konoha's ancient guardian tree, longest-serving Hokage, and mentor to the village's "yellow gamble poison" trio—puffed his pipe, utterly speechless at his equally battered, disappointing disciple.
"Jiraiya!"
Hiruzen's voice held suppressed fury as he scolded: "How old are you? Still acting like a kid—fighting your student at the village gate? Drawing a crowd! And look at this mess!"
He slammed the desk, pointing out the window toward the gate: "You trashed half the greenery! Know how expensive that is? It's precious historical heritage planted by the First Hokage himself! If Tsunade finds out, she'll skin you!"
He inhaled deeply, sentencing his wayward pupil: "You're staying in the village—no leaving! I've spoiled you too much. Too wild out there—you forgot basic Konoha ninja etiquette!"
"You old man—blood libel!"
Jiraiya whined through his black eyes: "I'm the victim! How's that gate forest 'national treasure'? I remember clear as day—we sawed down several as kids for a shack, and you said nothing!"
Hiruzen's face reddened, then he snapped angrily: "Why do you think I bolted for an S-rank right after? That bastard Danzo grilled me, forced me to cover the cost from my pocket! Couldn't even tell Bishamon—had to earn cash on mission!
After, I issued the ordinance: No damaging gate-area woods! See Konoha Village Code, Article 196!"
He whipped a brick-thick book from his robe and hurled it at Jiraiya's face!
Jiraiya anticipated it, smirking as he spun away stylishly: "Haha! Old timer—same trick? Real ninjas don't fall for the same trap twice!"
As Hiruzen smirked from behind the desk: "Oh? Not so sure. Why don't you... look back?"
"Hmph! Childish ploy!"
Jiraiya scoffed confidently: "Bet you're waiting to chuck another! Don't underestimate my intel!
Wait... something's off..."
He sensed it, whipping around.
"Hey! Rubik! You've been mute since—did I knock you silly? Haha...
Wait—where is he?!"
Dread hit Jiraiya. He spun back!
Too late!
Rubik caught the dodged "brick codex" steadily, locking eyes with the thumb-upping Third Hokage in silent accord!
He inhaled, then hurled the tome with full force at Jiraiya's horrified face, roaring:
"Flying—Thunder—God—Second—Stage!!!"
"AHHH—!!!"
The thud and Jiraiya's wail echoed through the office.
Today's winner: Undisputed—
Jiraiya: Total defeat!
…