Chapter 11: Dealing With NightmaresNotes:
All rights go to Marvel
Chapter Text
Skye's POV
When I came into consciousness I found it very difficult to open my eyes. It was like my eyelashes were made out of lead. Breathing wasn't an easier task either. I slowly started taking notice of the space around me. There was something under my nose and there was a beeping sound somewhere to my right. I tried to remember what happened, how I got there or even where I was, but everything was foggy.
Without meaning to, I started panicking. The beeping sound began to speed up rapidly, in accordance with the quick and shallow breaths that I was taking. I felt a hand grip my own and I wanted to flinch at the touch but felt too weak to do that. With great difficulty, I started opening my eyes, letting a bright white light hit my irises. I had to close and open my eyes a lot of times before I adjusted enough to the lighting of the room to be able to fully open them and keep them like that.
I looked around the unknown room. Nothing, absolutely nothing looked familiar and that made my panic only grow even further. My uneasiness made me take even shallower breaths, making a hissing sound.
Something squeezed my left hand and only then I remembered that someone was gripping it. I turned my head and was met with a redhead with wide eyes studying my face. I could see her lips moving as if forming words but the sound seemed to escape my ears.
It took some time, but I started registering some sounds in the form of words and the soft voice of the woman seemed to calm me down a bit. But then there was another hand on my right shoulder and my head snapped in the direction of whoever was touching. I didn't know where I found the energy, but I somehow managed to move slightly away from the Asian woman's hand.
"Why don't you leave this to me, May?" I turned once more and looked at the red-headed. She seemed to like my reaction and she smiled at me, though I never returned the gesture.
"I'll be right outside if you need me" the Asian woman, May, said and left the two of us alone.
"Hey, sweetie, can you hear me?", I nodded ever so slightly, but it was enough for her to understand. I felt more pressure in my hand, in her try to calm me down. "It's okay, you're safe. Everything is all right" the smile never leaving her face. "Try to match your breaths with mine, it will help you calm down" I heard her say after she figured that I was still upset. After several tries, the beeping sound was slowed down in a steady pattern. "That's it, you're okay," she said once more to reassure me.
"Can you tell me your name, sweetie?"
I took some time to answer before a name came through the fog in my mind. "Skye," I said, and my voice came hoarsely. I tried to understand how come and this happened, but couldn't think of a particular reason why that would be.
"Hey Skye, my name is Natasha. You can call me Nat to Tasha if you want" she moved her seat even closer to my head. She seemed nice. "Now, can you tell me what you remember?"
What did I remember? Now that was a good question. I looked at her and searched her face as if that would give me some answers, any answers at all. But there was nothing. I blinked several times, my eyes moving from one place to another never focusing anywhere in particular as I tried to search in my mind for some clue as to what had happened. Or who I was, for that matter. Apart from my name, every memory that I was getting close to catching seemed to slip right through my finger.
My mind was blank and couldn't remember a thing. I was coming up, completely, empty.
My eyes snapped open and I sat up on my bed. My chest was moving rapidly because of my uneven breaths. I moved my hand to wipe away the sweat that I knew had formed in my forehead. My hand briefly brushing at the scar on my left eyebrow. Finding myself unable to calm down, I knew that sleep wouldn't find me again anytime soon.
I opened my computer and checked the time. It was only 3 a.m.
I couldn't call Nat and I was sure not to gonna call any of the others, not yet at least. It was too soon, and I needed answers. I looked at the sleeping form curled up on the bed across from me. With a heavy sigh, I quietly changed into my workout clothes, picked up a bag and my water bottle and headed to the gym always careful not to wake Simmons up my bumping anywhere on my way out.
It was the fourth night in a row that I have had that nightmare. And I knew from experience that I would have it every day for another week, the least. The same happened every year, only for the last four years I had Natasha there with me. But since I was training to be an agent now, I didn't have that luxury.
My thoughts kept going on and on and I lost track of time. Tai Chi didn't seem to work that morning and I needed to let out some steam. So, the boxing bag that was in front of me had taken all of my anger and frustration.
I heard the door of the gym open and close. I didn't pay any attention to it until I heard it being locked. "Ward, leave. I'm not gonna say that a second time" my eyes never leaving the bag. I really didn't have the energy to deal with him and my state of mind wasn't the best one either. I didn't hear the steps when they closed in and only felt the presence of someone next to me when a hand landed on my shoulder.
It was pure reflex when I spun around, shoved the hand off me and made a move to kick Ward on the chest. However, before I knew what happened, I was pinned down, my head hitting the hard floor making me blink several times trying to understand what happened.
"I am not Ward, Skye" a voice came from above me and I forced myself to focus on the face of the woman speaking. "You should really try to pay more attention to your surroundings no matter where you are or what you do".
I took the hand Hill extended my way and she helped me up. "I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll keep that in mind" I said with a straight face to my teacher.
I moved to go back to the bag her hand found again its way on my shoulder. "You should stop. You've been up here for three hours already" her words make me take a step back. "What? This is an Academy for spies, do you think that I wouldn't know what's going on with my students?" She did have a point there. Without stopping she came closer and I had to force myself not to move further back. "Plus, Melinda May was my former S.O." she whispered to my ear and giggled when she stepped away.
"What do you know?", was the question that left my mouth before I even processed what I was asking. My eyes narrowed slightly, a habit I had taken up from Natasha.
"You see, I couldn't help but recognise some of your moves in the first couples of weeks of our training sessions. They seemed so familiar and yet I couldn't quite place where I had seen them before" she was slowly moving around me and stopped dead at her tracks right on my back. "And that's when it hit me, very early in the morning when I couldn't sleep and decided to come in the observation room of the gym" her eyes pointing at the one-way glass wall of the room. "And that's when I saw you Tai Chi and all the dots connected". Though her eyes were still looking there, I did not doubt that her full attention was on me.
"I know you hold back in my class" she started moving once again. "Having been trained not only by Melinda May, but Natasha Romanoff as well? People can only wish to be so lucky as you".
I could tell that she wanted to say more, but I couldn't help but answer back. "You call that me being lucky?" I snorted.
"But no matter how much of a ready agent you think you are on the field, there are other things that you learn here as well" she continued as if I never spoke."Things like espionage and manipulation that you need to learn and you know it. Not that much of the basic hacking skills that we teach, since you're an expert already at that" she just kept getting under my skin more and more. "So, here you are, acing the other lessons by giving them your all and holding back here so that you won't be too far ahead of the others and stand out way too much".
"What do you want?" I changed the first question that I made to her.
"I want you not to hold back," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "And since your birthday is coming up I guess that you would need to punch something else other than a bag" she pointed to the beaten up boxing bag that would fall apart any moment now. "To try and punch someone that can fight back and stand their ground against you".
The quiet challenge hanged on the air. I thought about it for a minute. The door was closed and locked, maybe other teachers were looking through the glass, but I couldn't care at the moment, and she was right. I was holding back and I wanted to truly find out where I was with my training because if I had not improved and word went out about it, Nat would have my head.
And, hell, who was I to disappoint Hill if she wanted to go toe-to-toe with me?
I looked at her with my endeavour changing to complete concentration. I hadn't really used that much concentration on the class, and the abrupt change made her take a step back. Good, at least she knew I wasn't messing around. After she made it obvious that she wouldn't make the first move, I attacked.
I made a quick left jab, followed by a right kick aimed at her ribs. She swiftly grabbed my ankle, pulled me towards her and used her elbow to land a blow to my cheek. I could have blocked it but had a better idea in mind.
Once the elbow made contact with my face, I let my head fall closer to the ground. In one swift movement, and with my right leg still trapped at her ribcage, my hands touched the ground and I twisted as hard as I could. My hands were the only reason I wasn't falling to the ground and I used all the strength I could find to whirl around.
My left foot aimed for her head, but she managed to block it with her arm at the last moment. But the block didn't diminish my speed or strength and she was sent to the ground. She tried pulling me with her by keeping her hold on my firm. But that only served to help me stand on top of her. Unfortunately, this was one of the weakest positions I could be in.
Hill didn't let it go to waste and I was soon tackled to the ground. She was having me pinned down, chest on the ground and hand twisted in an unnatural way behind my back.
"Is that all you got?" She mocked me, whispering to my ear. "I was expecting more from you, Skye".
"Who said that I was finished?" I managed to say through greeted teeth. She made the wrong move to loosen her grip on my hand slightly, and this was the mistake I was waiting for.
I lifted my head hard and hit her nose, making her stumbled back. I was on my feet at once. I had to get to her before she got her head back in the game. So, I ran up to her and started throwing punches and kicks. She wasn't an easy target to try and choke, so I would first have to tire her out.
We kept going like that, back and forth with both of us landing and receiving a fair amount of hits.
At one point I made a hook to her head and she ducked to dodge it. Her hands gripped my shoulders and were about to land a knee on my ribs, but I was faster. I grabbed the neck of her shirt, rolled backwards and kicked her straight to the chest and making her roll with me.
I had her pinned on the ground under me, with my fist raised ready for a blow to the head. But it never came. I was about to let my hand fall on my lap with the hand on her shirt relaxing when somehow her legs were around my neck, stopping every try for air to reach my lungs.
I tried getting out of her hold but couldn't find a way out. I saw black dots forming at the edges of my vision and I tapped her leg, making them unwrap. I gulped down mouthfuls of air but remained to the ground, sweat all over me.
"Not bad," she said while holding a hand out for me to take. I reluctantly did so and was on my feet once more. "But once I'm pinned you should try for the finishing blow. Why did you hesitate? Out there you won't have that luxury"
"You want full 'Mortal Combat?" I managed to say through my panting.
"I told you I didn't want you to hold back. You holding back won't do you any good" Hill said, her teaching tone evident once more.
"Honestly? I didn't wanna hurt you" she looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Or at least try to hurt you, ok? It hasn't been the best week and I'm constantly on the verge of…" I looked back at her trying to read her look and I got nothing "…I don't know" I concluded shaking my head. A kinda true statement.
"I know that this Sunday is a hard day on you. Also, I've watched you beat yourself up for the last few days since morning time. I'm guessing nightmares?" The look on my face must have said enough because she explained. "Once I figured that May trained you I contacted her. She told me some stuff that I should know and in exchange, I'm telling her how you've been doing here. You don't talk much to her, do you?" When I didn't reply she just shook her head. "She is just worried, and because of that she informed me about the 27th of March. So, I'm ordering you to take the rest of the week off".
I opened my mouth to object but didn't even manage to form a sound before I was cut off. "No buts. It's not pity or an option you have a saying in. It's an order, cadet Skye" her using 'cadet' caught me off guard and made her decision final. I went to grab my bag as Hill went to open the door.
She waited for me to pass her and she placed a hand on my shoulder. I brushed her hand off me and turned to look at her, not hard just indifferent with a hint of irritation. Her sweet smile made me feel uneasy as if exposed.
"You've worked very hard since the day you came here. Please, don't let it all go to waste because we both know you'll make a great agent and graduate earlier than usual. When I told you to rest, I meant it. It is important to let our bodies rest if we want to be physically and mentally in top shape and if you continue to tire yourself to sleep this will never happen" and just like that she left to the opposite side of where I was headed.
I was in my room soon after, my head a wild mess and with a great desire for sleep that I knew wouldn't come.
I had completely forgotten about the way I must have looked from the sparring with Hill because when I walked in to find Simmons she gasped at me. She slowly came closer and placed a hand on a cut on my cheek and I involuntarily flinched away.
Simmons' scolding face made its appearance and she all but dragged me to the bathroom we shared so that she would clean up my wounds. After deciding that she couldn't work with me being sweaty and all, she left me to take a shower and she said that she would patch me up later.
I could hear her through the door talking to Fitz and asking him to inform their teachers that she wouldn't be able to attend today's lessons because she was feeling sick.
Wow, I thought to myself. Simmons is always following the rules, it makes her feel nice as she had mentioned more than once. She must have been really worried. I didn't even bother looking at the mirror before exiting the bathroom. I knew that I looked like shit because, honestly, I was feeling the same way.
I found Simmons on her bed, and with the first aid kit that she kept in the room open next to her. She was focusing so hard on finding whatever she was looking for that she made this really cute grimace with her face. When she turned to look at me all serious, I knew I was in trouble.
"What happened?" She started her questioning easy and I was sure that the questions would only get harder as time moved on.
"I might or might not had a sparring match without equipment against Hill? I know what you're gonna say but it was her idea" I protested before she even got the chance to reply. I sat next to her and she proceeded to check my now clean wounds.
"Why would Hill ask you to fight her? She's a full badged agent and you're just her student. And why would you spar with her so early in the morning? What happened to start your day calmly with Tai Chi?" Her tone was a serious quiet. "Why do you have to hurt yourself?" She said, and the sound barely left her mouth, as if she was talking to herself. But I managed to catch it up.
"Tai Chi wasn't helping and I've been hitting the boxing bag for a few days now. Hill found out and thought that going against her would be better because no one in my group is in my level yet".
"The few days that you've been having nightmares and have been avoiding me almost all day long?" Her tone made me feel ashamed, realising how hurt she was from my behaviour. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, you know that, right?". Her eyes bore into mine, those brown pools full of emotion.
She made her way to my torso, which was more or less turning blue from the bruising. I could see her pleading with me to go to Med Bay for a check, but I just shook my head. She was more than capable to treat my wounds and I didn't want word to get out about my injuries. "Well, a part of my problem is that my birthday is coming up".
"And I'm guessing that's a bad thing?" She asked raising an eyebrow after hearing how much hate I put in the word.
"It's not really my birthday though…" I whispered but made sure it was loud enough for Simmons to hear. She momentarily stopped bandaging my ribs but continued her work as if she never paused.
"Is it like your sister isn't really your sister?", this comment should have taken me by surprise but I had long learned that she was a great listener and could see beyond the context of what was told. So, I just nodded, unable to form words. "When is your birthday?" Finally, the million-dollar question was asked.
"The thing is, I don't know. All I know is that I don't remember who I was before 5 years ago".
Chapter 12: Memory LaneNotes:Time to get some backstory about what has been going on...
All rights go to Marvel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jemma's POV
It was the fourth time in the row that I heard Skye wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath probably because of a nightmare that keeps coming back. She had yet to say a word about it and I had promised myself not to pressure the issue. I knew that when she felt ready, she would come to me and talk about whatever it was that was bothering her.
I heard her leave and once again I couldn't get back to sleep. My mind was running wild as to what she might have been so terrified of that creates a reaction like that. But I had long learned that Skye carried her demons and no one really knew how deep these scars went.
So, without having any better option, I opened my desk lamp and started working on my homework. I needed to keep myself busy so that I wouldn't be able to think in-depth about anything else. Because I had woken up so early for half a week now, I had already finished every exercise that I was assigned for the next few days and had moved some chapter further in the Academy books. Thankfully, it had the desired result and I lost track of time. My trance only broke when I heard the door unlock. I instantly turned my head and was met with one of the most horrific things possible.
Skye's face had cuts and some bruises were already forming on her cheek. My eyes moved to her hands, which had blooded knuckles. If this was only an indication, then I wasn't sure what was going on with the rest of her body.
I slowly walked up to her and placed my hand on her cheek. She flinched from me when I accidentally touched a sensitive cut there. This was why I needed to properly wake up and take in the situation in front of me. I took the serious face, which Skye knew all too well that meant business and she wouldn't argue with me. I all but dragged her to the bathroom to try and clean her cuts with no success. She was so sweaty that I wasn't able to do a thing.
What the hell was she doing since she left the room? Run a freaking marathon? My thoughts a wild mess and I knew that this wouldn't help Skye. Instead, I choose to order her to take a shower to clean up and went back to my bed to clean my head and figure out what to do.
I immediately called Fitz. I told him that I wasn't feeling good and that I wouldn't be able to attend the lectures that day. It wasn't a complete lie. I hadn't properly slept for some days now because of Skye's night terrors and wouldn't be at a hundred percent. Not that I blamed Skye at all, only my own worry over what was keeping her awake was at fault here.
After that was settled I sat on my bed, took the first aid kit and started preparing bandages and everything that I could think of that would be of use to help my roommate. When I turned around she was out of the bathroom and looking at me with innocent eyes. She wasn't gonna get out of this mess so easily and she knew it all too well.
I made her sit down and started treating every bruise and cut I could find. Questioning her, not harshly but firmly enough so that she would know that I meant every word. She knew how worried I was since I wasn't really good at hiding it and that was the push that she needed to open up even more. And then she told me that she didn't know when her birthday was or who she was in the past.
I finished wrapping the bandage on her ribs, which were so badly bruised that I made a mental note to go and see agent Maria Hill. This was unacceptable behaviour for a teacher in an Academy such as this. I understood that this was basically a spy school and Skye wasn't going to be a scientist like me, but she would be out there in the field but still. She would sometimes come back with a minor degree of sprain in a wrist or ankle but it was never this bad.
Jemma, focus. I forced myself to get back in reality and look into Skye's eyes. I was thinking really hard to find the correct question to ask or comment to make, thankfully I didn't have to.
"I woke up one day, and didn't really know anything about myself. Who I was, how I ended up in a hospital bed or what the hell had happened. All I knew was my name, Skye". Her eyes had stopped focusing on anything particular as she was lost in the memories of the past. I could tell that it was hard for her to talk about this from the shaking of her hands. I gently wrapped my fingers around hers and squeezed them, letting her know that I was there and that I wasn't going anywhere, giving her as much support as I could.
After inhaling a shaky breath she continued her story. "I woke up in a hospital bed, surrounded with people I didn't know. They said that I was found in a collapsed building and that I was the only one that they found in the debris. As you can imagine that wasn't really reassuring, considering that I was still very confused about what had happened" she smirked trying to joke a bit around to lighten up the mood.
"Anyhow, those people who I told you that found me? Well, as it turned out they were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, four of them to be precise. And, well, from that day on they kinda became my family" the smile that was on her face wasn't forced. It warmed my heart to see her happy about memory in all this mess that she was describing. It was a very far-fetched story, I didn't deny that. But with all the secretiveness of Skye's life and all, it wasn't really hard to believe it. Plus, I was more sure than not that she hadn't lied to me once since we met. Hid things? Sure. That was her standard nature and tactic, but lie to me? I would like to believe that the answer was never.
"So yeah. We didn't have much to go from there. They tried to find any information about me through my name, fingerprints, anything really, but we came up empty. So, as far as I'm concerned my life started on the 27th of March 2000" then she turned and her eyes focused on mine. "My birthday, as some would like to call them".
This Sunday… no wonder she was having one hell of a week.
It took me a while to register everything that I had heard and put the answers that I got, as well as the questions that were created in order. My science and laboratory nature about wanting answers to unspoken questions and puzzles coming up fast.
The story was pretty much solid, but she kept a lot of things out. Like, who were the agents that found her, or how she learned hacking at such young age, or how she even finished school so early with no previous knowledge or memories of her studies. Then my mind went back to the nightmares that she was having. What could they possibly be about? She must have seen this question coming long before because I didn't even have to phrase it before I got a reply.
"It's my first ever memory. Basically waking up with no memory to go back to or a past to seek comfort from" her hand moved involuntarily to one deep scar over her left eyebrow and I concluded that this was the, or a main, trauma that caused her amnesia. I averted my eyes from her scar back to her eyes hoping she didn't catch me staring. "Yeah, that's it basically" she laughed at that. "It must sound so foolish, but opening your eyes and knowing nothing is one of the scariest things I've been through". The tips of her mouth were still up, in a shy smile, as she rested her chin on her knees that she was now hugging.
"It's not foolish at all" was out of my mouth before I even registered it. How could she think that something like that was foolish?
"It's not?" She questioned, but never lifted her head from her knees. "I know people who have so much worse nightmares that make mine look like a kid's play. I can't help but feel it's stupid of me to get so scared of this memory that I know cannot change".
That took me back a bit. What she was describing was a feeling that I wish I will never have to know. Her life became a roller coaster since that day she woke up without knowing what had happened. I can only imagine what the rest of her life was up to the point when I met her. Her closeness and secretiveness suddenly making sense and I couldn't help but feel proud of her for allowing me into her inner circle of trustworthy people. This made my determination, to not let her think of herself as stupid, even greater.
"You listen to me," I told her firmly. My hands cupped her cheeks and turned her face so that she was looking at me dead in the eyes. "I don't know who these people that you're talking about see when they close their eyes, but I'm pretty scared just by listening to your story. You are not stupid and nothing you say is going to change my mind about it, okay? No matter how foolish you think something is, I will always be there for you to talk to".
I let go of her face and wrapped her in a one-arm hug. "You know I'll always be there for you as well, right?" She asked after a while, making me smirk.
Here she was again, being in one of the most emotionally fragile states I've found her in, yet still concerned about my well-being and having a shoulder to cry on in case I ever need to. "I do," I told her and relaxed my head on her shoulder.
"So…" she stretched in a matter I knew she wanted a subject change. "Is there anything you wanna talk to me about?" I felt her face turn towards mine from how her shoulder shifted.
"How about how I somehow managed to convince Fitz that I am sick?"
She sat up more straighter, making me mimic her move. Now looking at her face I could see her eyebrows almost reach her hairline. "He actually bought it? You're such a terrible liar!"
Notes:1000 hits, wow! Thank you, guys :)
Chapter 13: Birthday Discoveries And Birthday SurprisesNotes:All rights go to Marvel
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter TextSkye's POV
With no training and with Simmons having to go to classes the next day, I had decided to focus my attention on hacking. I mean, what other choice did I have? I still had at least three more days of having nothing in particular to do. And I was suspecting that if I even attempted to enter the gym or run for more than thirty minutes, Hill would know and she would have my head. It was like she had eyes everywhere for crying out loud!
My hacking interest was evident from almost the time when I was found. Coulson, having finished the Academy of Communications wasn't really bad at hacking so when I asked him to teach me, he saw it as a bonding exercise and didn't even think about denying it. The real reason why I wanted to start hacking, was so that I could help with the research about my past.
In the beginning, we had started easy some time after he and the others took me in. It came pretty naturally to me, hacking that is. This made me think that maybe before the accident I already knew how to hack, but I couldn't be sure.
Anyway, it wasn't really hard to exceed Coulson's hacking level quite quickly. Add this to the training that May and Natasha were giving me, as well as some instructions on how to handle a gun by Clint and it was only bound for me to end up in the S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy.
So, with those thoughts in my mind and a really heavy schedule between training and homework, who had time for school? One of the first times that I really checked how good I had become in hacking, was when I hacked my way into the school system and skipped a few classes. May was furious once she found out what I had done and had, rightfully, blamed Coulson for teaching me in the first place. She was determined to have me properly finish High School in time, but when I told her that the classes that I was taught seemed easy either way she thought better about it. After a few tests, an IQ test and some more persuading from my part, I was allowed to skip the classes since it should have happened, either way, hacking or not.
The price, however, was a promise to not hack again in an official organisation or do anything illegal with these skills. I had given my word, though everyone knew that I wouldn't keep it. How was I supposed to develop my abilities without practice?
This is how I ended up hacking S.H.I.E.L.D. more often than not. I never went too deep, afraid that I would set an alarm or something and I really didn't want to get caught.
But then I came to the Academy. It could have been the lack of supervision from Coulson, or boredom or even stupidity but I thought why not look deeper into the organisation about me. I tried searching my name, but nothing came up. So, when that happened I went deeper and started crossing all my knowledge about who I was. So, after crossing reference after reference I ended up stumbling upon a redacted file about a girl named Mary Sue Poots.
It was a classified file about a female infant that was dropped off at the Saint Agnes Orphanage. The date that the infant was dropped off was covered in black, making it impossible for me to read, but the file was redacted on the 23rd of April 1989. Which, by the calculation we had done when I was found, was around the time when I was born. The name of the person that I would have to contact for more information was also in black. This whole situation looked really strange and suspicious to me, so I had to look more into it.
I started looking more into this "Mary Sue Poots" person. Not a lot of information was available but given that she was somehow was related to S.H.I.E.L.D., it was somewhat expected. All I could find was some information about the families that adopted her. But the information was still too little. Instead, I started looking more into the orphanage. My research kept growing bigger as the days turned into weeks and so, here I was, on a Sunday afternoon looking into this whole story once again. Trying to find anything that I might have missed. But I had made up my mind a few weeks ago.
I was this person, at least this is what all the evidence so far said. After all, every activity from that person seized to exist about the time that I was found in that broken-down building. And this was the main reason why I wasn't sure whether or not I could trust May and Coulson anymore. I knew that they were high in the S.H.I.E.L.D. rankings, levels as they were called. This is also the reason why Director Fury himself had helped with the investigation about my past.
So, this only led me to think that they must have known about the redacted file. And since I was able to make the connection between this and me, they must have made the same connection, right? But if they knew, why wouldn't they tell me?
The door of the room opened but I didn't pay any attention to the sound. This was until my fingers were almost trapped between the screen of my laptop and its keyboard.
"What the hell Jemma?" I asked, still shocked by her sudden move. "If you break my fingers, I'm not paying the bill and I would really like seeing you try and explain to Maria Hill how this all played out". My computer was now safely switched off by my side after I had saved all the work I had been doing all day of course.
"No more looking into your past today" Simmons exclaimed as if annoyed by what I had been doing. After I kind of explained my past I had, as well, let her know about the discovery of my identity. And she was very helpful, saying that she would help me figure out more and that if there was anything that she could do then all I had to do was ask. What did I ever do to deserve a friend like her? I thought to myself. "Besides…" she continued rambling and I had long stopped paying any attention to her. That was until she poked at my side, making me turn to her. "I wanted to give you this" she held out her arms and gave me a wrapped box.
I carefully took it in my hands and place it on my lap. I looked up to her and she nodded with this trademark smile of hers, to motivate me to open it up.
"I know we agreed that you didn't want to celebrate this day and I also know that you told me that every year you have trouble when it comes to this day". I was now holding the rectangular box and had ripped its lid off so that I could see what was inside. "I didn't have much to choose from, you know being a first-year and all. But I thought that when you feel like your past is holding you back or anything brings back bad memories, you can look at it and remember that there are always people here, willing to help you. Remember me" as she finished I had taken out the object she was talking about.
It was a mini hula girl, who was shaking with the slightest movement. She was holding a guitar, a smile was evident on her face and was wearing traditional Hawaiian clothes. She reminded me of Lilo from "Lilo and Stitch", one of my favourite movies so far. I hadn't reacted in any way since I opened my present and I could sense that Simmons only got more anxious.
So, I put the hula girl on my desk making her shake one more time. The smile on my face wasn't even something I tried to achieve and with that I looked back at Simmons once more. "Thanks Jemma. It means a lot".
Later that night, there was a slight tremor that went through the facility. I wouldn't have known about it were it not for the hula girl who started shaking for no apparent reason. That made me wonder whether this had happened before, but eventually shrugged it off and went to sleep.
Notes:Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :) I was thinking, do you want me to put a summary before each chapter? FF doesn't give me the option, but since I can here, I thought I'd ask what you prefer. Let me know in the comments or send me a message on Tumblr if you want. Thank you!
(PS: I have not done much of HTML so please let me know if the link for Tumblr doesn't work)
Chapter 14: Pins And NeedlesNotes:
All rights go to Marvel
Chapter Text
Skye's POV
I absolutely, and with great certainty, despised needles. I didn't only despise them, I hated them. It was the only thing apart from flinching on the physical touch that had stayed with me since the day I was found. Every time they poked my skin or even came close enough to do so, shivers would be sent through my entire body.
So here I was now, with a needle in my arm in Fitz's room. My fingers were firmly wrapped around Simmons' ones and I was pretty sure that I had full-out stopped the blood flow in her hand.
"Almost done" I heard Fitz's Scottish accent from my right. I had to give it to him, he was doing the best he could and in the least time possible, but it was still quite unpleasant for me. "Don't tell me it's 'almost done'. Just tell me when it's finished" I replied harshly, but not aggressively. I wasn't angry at him, but at the whole situation that I had gotten myself into.
I knew that with Simmons' help I would find out more about my past. Let's just call it a hunch. So, when she asked to get Fitz involved as well, I trusted her judgment and let her inform him about the situation and the research we were doing. He was an okay guy, to be honest. Not too loud, with a good head on his shoulders despite his brilliance. And most of all he was a good friend to Jemma, so if she trusted him, then so would I. And this is about how we ended in his room. He, living on his own and without a roommate, had more space than we did. That's how his desk, wall, floor and… well basically his whole room had become something like our headquarters.
"Here, done" I felt the needle coming off and instantly used some cotton to pressure the point where this evil instrument had penetrated my arm. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?" I heard him as he moved across the room and a smile was evident in his voice. I opened one of my shut eyes and pointedly looked at him making him shutter. "Er… m-m-maybe it was. How would I know?" This made a smirk appear on my face.
"I just don't like the feeling that I get when it comes to needles, s'all" with a small plaster I covered the 'wound' and flexed my fingers a few times just to make sure. "But to tell you the truth, you do have a very soft touch. It was the best blood-sucking experience I have had so far" I joked with a laugh, though it was true to the bone.
"How did you manage to get all this equipment here again?" I pulled my sleeve down and looked around the room to the various machines that were spread out all over.
"We have this awesome course for the second semester which is all about…" Simmons turned to look at me unsure how to continue.
"…collecting biological data" Fitz finished for her and smiled kindly in my direction.
I could see Simmons silently thanking him for helping her out. "I'm not stupid you know! Just because I don't attend your classes doesn't mean that I cannot understand what you're talking about!" I said faking hurt. Both just turned around with one raised eyebrow each, challenging my statement. Oh, no. They are gonna start all over again, I thought as they opened their mouths as if to fully analyse what the course was about. "Okay, I may not understand all of it but being with you, and especially Jemma all those months has affected me. Admit it, plus now that I think about it I don't really care for the specifics. By the way, why does Fitz know about this? Isn't he the engineer and you the biochemist? He wouldn't have this course in his curriculum"
Although Fitz was on the other side of the room I could see his face become red and this was all the answer that was all I needed. But Simmons' explanation helped as well. "No, he doesn't. But he, being the sweetest and my best friend offered to help out" Fitz buried his face even further in his work. "Plus, we needed everything here, so we could work on our mission".
This is how Simmons was referring to the blood examination and the whole finding-more-about-my past quest. Her whole 'bad girl shenanigans' were lost somewhere along the way. I wasn't sure when that happened, but I wasn't sure that I minded this bit of anarchy from her either.
"Speaking of mission, I better do my part. I can't have you do all the work" I let Simmons go to Fitz and use their science voodoo or whatever to get the results we needed.
I went to the bed and opened my laptop, setting it on my lap. Typing fast I, of course, hacked into the surveillance system of the floor and kept watch just to make sure that we wouldn't have any unwanted surprises. Thankfully they didn't have any cameras inside the cadet rooms, and so I wouldn't have to erase anything since what we did inside the room was a secret.
The plan was for the two scientists to examine my blood and then run it through several systems to see if there was a match. Maybe somewhere there was some archive of Mary Sue Poots' blood and my suspicion would be verified. Though, deep down, I knew that my chances of such an archive were slim to none, given the nature of the whole research.
"For how much longer do I have to do this?" I said as I attacked the punching bag for the zillionth time. "I can see why May was your S.O. but this is one of the first times that we train together and on top of everything, I have the regular training for the Academy as well" through my rambling I never reduced the pace of my movement combination against the bag.
Hill just sat there next to me, legs crossed and timer in hand. "I wanna properly test your limits," she said. "Also, if you didn't want me to be your secret trainer then you shouldn't have said yes when I asked you" she momentarily raised her eyes to meet mine and just like that they were focused on the timer once again. "Your technique starts to break up. I think this will be all of this one for now" she pressed the timer and wrote the number down on a large form that was in front of her.
As soon as these words left her mouth, my hands rested on my knees and I started gulping down air. She threw me a bottle of water and I barely watched it before it hit my face. "How did I do?" I asked trying to peek at the time written down. The paper was quickly out of my reach or sightline. "Not fair. How am I gonna improve if I don't know my own time?"
"That's for me to decide. You know, being your trainer and all".
She moved to the door of the gym and unlocked it, signalising the end of our session. Since I was in the Academy and not a field agent to have an S.O. she was secretly training me starting from the week after our sparring. This was only the second time training with her, and I was already regretting my decision to accept her offer.
"Tomorrow you have a day off from our training. Also, needless to say, but I expect you to keep on being on top of all other classes. Should I learn that you slack somewhere else, consider this training over" and just like that she disappeared to the endless corridors.
Even since I learned about her relationship with May, I kept on finding more and more common traits between the two of them. How both of them were all serious, how someone would find them if they only wanted to be found and how they somehow always kept track of where I was. It was annoying to no end, but it reminded me of home.
Home.
I hadn't thought of the place that I lived away from here as home since the redacted file. And maybe it was the time apart or the lack of vocal communication on my part to Coulson and May, but I just realised that I considered it home. I considered them home.
After a quick shower, I found my way back to Fitz's room and opened the room with the spare key that I was provided. Given the whole nature of our research and our different timetables, we all knew the curriculums of each other and when it was time to gather to HQ.
Thanks to the technology provided by the Academy for Simmons' assignment I didn't have to hack my way to the Science and Tech servers to get the results of the blood test. I could see a blinking notification saying that everything was finished, but even if I opened the file I would most likely have no idea what it said. Instead, I decided to wait for Simmons was our best bet because Fitz would have no idea what the results might mean either.
The idea of home was running wild in my head.
I tried everything. I put on my headphones and put on some music, hacked even further into S.H.I.E.L.D. just for the fan of it, re-crossed references on my research… but nothing seemed to help get rid of that thought in my head or the aching feeling in my heart. I sighed and leaned back, hitting the back of my head on the wall a couple of times with no evident result.
I typed quickly and created a secure line that I made sure no one from the Academy would trace. With my headphones on, I listened to the beeping sound as the call was made.
"Melinda May" the sound of her voice made me happier than I would like to admit.
"Hi, Mel", that was a nickname she hated.
"Skye?" I heard her whisper not really expecting it to be me, her voice full of surprise. I just kept on taking a deep breath, bracing myself for the conversation that I had to decide we would have. My lack of reply seemed to wake her and the agent inside her made her appearance. "Skye, are you okay? Is everything all right?" She asked trying to assess the situation.
There was yet another pause from me. I could hear her intake a breath, indicating that she would say something else but I interrupted her before she could even form a word. "We need to talk".
Chapter 15: Phone Calls And MisunderstandingsNotes:Oh, look. Some more plot development!
All rights go to Marvel
Chapter Text
May's POV
I had just gotten home from my coffee with Andrew. He was a really good guy and despite being a Phycologist for S.H.I.E.L.D. he had never, not once, tried to read me. This respect for boundaries made me respect him more as well, plus we had a great time together.
When I got home, I walked into Skye's room just for a minute, to make sure that she didn't come to surprise me, just like I did every day since she left. Thought I pretty much doubted something like that would happen.
When she started at the Academy I could tell that she didn't really like it there. Not making lots of friends so she would often text me or Natasha to chat. For as far as I knew nothing had changed, apart from when she suddenly stopped talking to me. Not only to me but Phil as well. She would keep in touch with Natasha mostly, and Clint sometimes, but there was a long period when I had no idea what was going on in her life. So like every reasonable mother I called Maria who I knew was her training instructor. She kept me informed of her progress so far, but she started making more often updates just for my sake and I was very glad for that small move of kindness.
I was considering myself a mother to a lot of people, even though I didn't have children of my own. Clint was mostly like Phil's kid and then came Natasha, who I mostly took in but she was more attached to Clint. But later on, Skye came into the picture.
I still remember the fear in her 11-year-old eyes when she woke up in the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital. Everyone came together so that she would have as much of a normal life as possible. I would never have thought that I would see the hard and stone-cold Natasha care for someone so much, but I was pleasantly mistaken. Skye came into our lives and like glue put us all together. With that being said, her not speaking to me brought pain in my chest, since I didn't even know what had happened to cause her to go completely radio-silent on me.
Even her birthday came up and she had made no move to contact me. I had thought more than a few times to call her, but I knew first hand what the Academy experience was like. So, apart from the reports that I got from Maria I wasn't really a big part of her life at this time period. I was proud to say that I managed to convince Maria, maybe threatened a little as well, to take up Skye as a personal training student.
I had made my way to the kitchen and had started preparing myself a cup of tea when my work phone rang.
"Melinda May" I answered and mixed some herbs to the boiling water in my cup.
"Hi, Mel". No one dared called me that but one person.
"Skye?" My voice was barely coming out and I almost dropped the phone in surprise. I didn't hear any reply and that only made my conviction for who I was speaking to firmer. I could hear her trying to control her breath making me wonder what was going on.
Why did she call now? Did something happen? These and several more thoughts flashed through my mind in a matter of second. The lack of knowledge was killing me and so I had to break the silence that had enfolded us. "Skye, are you okay? Is everything all right?" She was still not answering, and it was driving me crazy. I could hear my heart beating hard against my chest and my pulse was on my ears.
I was about to say something more but thankfully Skye spoke. "We need to talk".
My eyes grew a little at how broken her voice sounded. I made my way to the living room and sat on the couch, something told me that I needed to be sitting down for this talk. The tea was long forgotten of the table in another room completely.
"Okay. What do we need to talk about?" I felt completely out of my depth and the conversation hadn't even started yet. I could hear her yet again take deep breaths yet again as if to prepare herself. Or maybe try to. Or persuade herself to talk to me, given how long she had to reach out. "I'm here" I simply told her. "I'm here". It was a reassurance, three simple words that she knew were true and that would still be this way no matter what she told me. "I'm not going anywhere". For some reason, this made her slightly choke and I imagined her holding back tears.
"You know, you're making it really hard to be mad at you guys" she finally said with a laugh.
"It's my job to make it hard on you" a smile was now playing on my face and when I heard her laugh a bit I knew I was on the right road. "But why would you be mad at us?" I didn't even need to as who 'us' was.
"Because you knew about my past and didn't tell me?"
It might have been said as a question, but it was anything but that. It was a statement that she believed full-heartedly. It caught me by surprise. I hadn't heard her voice be so true about something for a long time. Since she told us that she was gonna be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to be precise.
"And why would you think that?" My voice never rising, but instead kept in a low tone all the time just as I used to talk to her when she was home.
That's when every information she had gather started pouring out of her mouth. I just listened as she told me about the redacted files, about Mary Sue Poots, about how she had concluded that she was her and how now she was having some blood samples examined. And then the whole reason why she'd been avoiding us for more than a month now.
"I'm not mad that I found what I found. What I'm angry about is that you must have known, you must have known and kept this a secret from me. Because if I, one person, managed to make the connections, then Fury who is the director of this whole organisation must have known as well. And we both know that he never keeps anything from Phil, after all, he is his second in command and his 'one good eye' as Fury, himself, had said. And if Phil knew, then there is no way that you didn't know because we both know that he can never keep a secret from you".
She paused long enough to know that she was finished and so I took my time to digest the information that I had just been bombarded with.
All she had said made sense. And no matter how much I wanted to tell her that she must have been mistaken I couldn't. I had to admit that she had made one hell of research and it all made sense. I was annoyed with her hacking into the organisation, but I could see it from her point of view. And with me having broken some rules myself along with Phil, I couldn't reprimand her too much.
But I honestly didn't know anything about it and neither did Phil, because as Skye said, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret even if he wanted to. So, what I had to do now was try and convince her that I truly had no idea of this in the past.
"You know that I would never keep anything like this from you, right? And Phil, well, he is the kindest guy that I have ever met and he has a soft spot for you. He would never lie to you about anything, and much more about something so important" I could hear her mumble and be ready to say something back but I prevented her. "No, you said your part so now you have to sit and listen to me".
My voice didn't leave any space for disagreement. I could almost hear her gulp as my 'mother voice', as Skye called it, made its way to the surface. "I promise to you that we haven't hidden anything from you. Every little bit of intel we had, you were told as well, no matter how small or big. So, don't you go around and find stuff and then blame us because we didn't find them before you. You can–no. You willsend Phil those files and we will continue your research. I will have Phil ask Fury about that redacted file and we will get to the bottom of this, I promise. But, you have to promise me that you will stop prying on this whole situation. Once we have an update, any update you will be the first to know. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yeah, crystal clear" she answered barely a sound but enough to reach my ears.
I eased back into the couch allowing myself to relax for the first time since I received the call. I knew that she wasn't really okay with this, but she knew that it was now out of her control. And I truly thought that she believed me and that she didn't blame us anymore.
I would have a long and very serious conversation with Phil the moment Skye hang up.
"Good" I didn't even hide the satisfaction from my voice. "Now tell me your news, we haven't properly talked for a while now"
Skye's POV
I closed the top of my computer completely and utterly exhausted by my conversation with May.
"You can come in now," I said and, not even five seconds later, FitzSimmons came in. "Thanks, guys," I said as the door closed behind them and Simmons silently moved to see the results from the blood exams. I had heard them a few minutes ago as they came closer but didn't come in when they realised I was talking to someone, giving me some space and privacy. And in case I had any doubts, the feeds from the cameras outside the room verified my suspicions.
Fitz came and sat next to me, not too close but not too far either. "It's okay. I get it. Plus, I know that you would do the same for me, or Simmons at least" he added his gaze always on the girl across from us.
I clapped my hands hard, making Fitz jump on his seat by the sudden sound. "Let's get over with the typical part so that I can use the samples to try and find any matches," I said but I could see Simmons still glued to her place, holding the results. "Come on, Jemma, just tell me that everything's all right so that we can move on," I said placing a hand on her shoulder.
She was upset, troubled even and more jumpy than usual.
"Earth to Jemma," I said waving my hand in front of her eyes. She blinked a couple of times before focusing on my face. Her mouth a firm line, slightly downwards to a frown which was something I saw for the first time on her.
And I had to say that it made me uneasy seeing her like that.
"Hey, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"
"No" I saw that answer coming to be honest. But still, it was troubling.
"Hey, Jemma, focus" I brought myself in front of her and gripped her shoulders, trying to get her full attention. When her hazel eyes met mine, all I saw was confusion, questions and a hint of fear. "Are you okay?" I asked fully alert now.
"I'm okay, you're not". Well, now I was the one who got confused.