Haruto turned two years old on a Tuesday, and his mother decided this required a party.
Not a small gathering. Not a quiet family dinner. A *party*.
With balloons. And a clown. And what his mother called "age-appropriate entertainment" but what Haruto would call "my personal nightmare."
*I died and went to hell,* Haruto thought, staring at the invitation list. *That's the only explanation.*
"We invited all the kids from playgroup!" his mother announced cheerfully. "And Izuku, of course. And some of our neighbors' children. It'll be wonderful!"
*Wonderful. Right. That's definitely the word I'd use.*
"Can we not have the clown?" Haruto tried.
"But you love clowns!"
*I have never, not once, expressed any positive feelings toward clowns. You're projecting.*
"No clown," Haruto said firmly.
His mother looked genuinely disappointed. "But I already booked him! His name is Giggles and he does balloon animals!"
*Giggles. His name is Giggles. I'm in actual hell.*
"Please?"
"Sweetie, it's already arranged! Trust me, you'll love it!"
*I won't,* Haruto thought miserably. *I absolutely won't.*
---
The party was scheduled for Saturday afternoon. Haruto spent the entire week dreading it with an intensity usually reserved for major life events.
"You seem stressed," his father observed, watching Haruto aggressively stack blocks on Thursday evening.
*I'm about to spend an afternoon trapped in a room with a dozen toddlers, a clown named Giggles, and a cake that probably has my face on it. Of course I'm stressed.*
"Fine," Haruto said, placing another block with more force than necessary.
"Your mother's excited about the party."
*I know. That's why I can't tell her to cancel it.*
"She just wants you to have a nice birthday."
*I'd have a nice birthday if I could spend it alone with a book. But I'm two, so nobody takes my preferences seriously.*
The tower of blocks collapsed. Haruto stared at the wreckage and felt a deep kinship with it.
"It'll be fun," his father said, in the tone of someone trying to convince himself.
---
Saturday arrived with all the inevitability of a natural disaster.
Haruto woke up to his mother singing "Happy Birthday" at full volume while his father took pictures. They'd decorated the apartment overnight—streamers, balloons, a banner that said "HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY HARUTO" in letters so large they could probably be seen from space.
*Subtlety,* Haruto thought. *A lost art.*
"Happy birthday, sweetie!" His mother scooped him up for a hug. "My baby is two years old!"
*I'm mentally twenty-six,* Haruto thought, *but sure, let's focus on the physical age.*
Breakfast was pancakes shaped like—of course—All Might's face. Because even on Haruto's birthday, the Symbol of Peace had to make an appearance.
*I can't escape him,* Haruto thought, stabbing a pancake with his fork. *He's everywhere. He's in my food. He's probably in my DNA at this point.*
"Don't play with your food, Haru," his mother chided gently.
*I'm not playing. I'm expressing frustration through aggressive breakfast consumption.*
The first guests arrived at 2 PM sharp. It was the Midoriyas.
"Happy birthday, Haru-kun!" Izuku practically vibrated with excitement. "I got you a present! It's really cool! Well, I think it's cool! I hope you think it's cool!"
He shoved a wrapped box into Haruto's hands. It was covered in All Might wrapping paper.
*All Might wrapping paper,* Haruto thought. *Because regular wrapping paper isn't available in this universe apparently.*
"Thanks," Haruto said, meaning it despite the wrapping paper situation. Izuku was genuinely thoughtful, even if his taste in heroes was... pervasive.
"Open it! Open it!"
Haruto carefully unwrapped the present—which took longer than it should have because his toddler fingers weren't cooperating—to reveal a children's book about plants.
*Oh.*
It was actually perfect. Colorful illustrations, simple text, pictures of different plants and how they grew. The kind of book an actual two-year-old with a plant quirk would love.
*Damn it, Izuku,* Haruto thought, feeling something warm and uncomfortable in his chest. *Stop being so thoughtful. It makes my planned villainy so much harder to justify.*
"Do you like it?" Izuku asked anxiously.
"Love it," Haruto said, and meant it.
Izuku's smile could have lit up the entire apartment.
More guests arrived. Mina bounced in wearing a sparkly dress and immediately started touching everything. Bakugo stomped in scowling and announced that "birthday parties are for babies," which was ironic considering they were all, in fact, babies.
The kid who ate crayons—Takeshi—arrived and immediately made a beeline for the decorative plant in the corner.
*Don't eat my plant,* Haruto thought protectively.
At 2:30, Giggles the Clown arrived.
Haruto took one look at him and understood why children were instinctively terrified of clowns.
The man was tall—way too tall. His smile was painted on and stretched too wide. His wig was an aggressive shade of purple. And his eyes... his eyes had the glazed look of someone who'd made terrible life choices and was now committed to the bit.
"HELLO, CHILDREN!" Giggles' voice was loud enough to rattle windows. "WHO'S READY FOR SOME FUN?!"
*I want to die,* Haruto thought. *I want to die right now.*
Most of the kids cheered. Bakugo looked suspicious. Mina was already approaching the clown to investigate his pockets. Izuku was taking notes in his ever-present notebook.
*Why is he taking notes on the clown?* Haruto wondered. *What could he possibly be documenting?*
"NOW!" Giggles pulled out a bag of balloons. "WHO WANTS BALLOON ANIMALS?!"
Every hand shot up except Haruto's and Bakugo's.
"YOU THERE!" Giggles pointed directly at Haruto. "BIRTHDAY BOY! WHAT ANIMAL DO YOU WANT?!"
*Peace and quiet,* Haruto thought. *Can you make that?*
"Dog," he said, because it was the simplest answer.
Giggles began twisting balloons with the manic energy of someone who'd had too much coffee. The resulting creation looked less like a dog and more like a crime against geometry.
"ONE DOG!" Giggles presented it with a flourish.
Haruto stared at it. "Thanks."
*That's not a dog. That's balloon terrorism.*
"YOU'RE WELCOME, BIRTHDAY BOY!"
*Why is he yelling,* Haruto wondered. *We're indoors. In a small apartment. There's no need for this volume.*
Giggles proceeded to make balloon animals for every child. A giraffe that looked like a snake with a tumor. A sword that immediately popped when Bakugo grabbed it too hard. Something that might have been a cat or possibly a demon.
Mina's pink balloon "bunny" dissolved when she accidentally dripped acid on it.
"Oops," she said, looking at the melted latex. "Sorry, Giggles!"
"THAT'S OKAY, LITTLE GIRL! ACCIDENTS HAPPEN!"
*His lung capacity is impressive,* Haruto thought. *Wrong career choice though. He should've been an announcer. Or a foghorn.*
The balloon animal portion of the party finally ended, and Haruto thought he might have a moment of peace.
He was wrong.
"NOW!" Giggles clapped his hands together. "TIME FOR GAMES!"
*Oh no.*
"MUSICAL CHAIRS!"
*Oh no.*
Giggles set up five chairs in a circle and started music from a portable speaker. The music was, naturally, a children's song about friendship and rainbows that would haunt Haruto's nightmares for years to come.
The kids started circling the chairs. Haruto participated because his mother was watching with that "please try to have fun" expression that made him feel guilty.
The music stopped. Everyone scrambled for chairs.
Haruto ended up on the floor, having been elbowed out by Mina's surprising aggression.
*Musical chairs is a combat sport,* Haruto realized. *Toddlers have no honor.*
Bakugo won by literally blasting another kid off a chair with a small explosion. Giggles declared him the winner while several parents rushed to check if their children still had eyebrows.
"WASN'T THAT FUN?!" Giggles asked.
"NO!" several children chorused, including one who was crying.
"WONDERFUL! TIME FOR CAKE!"
The cake was revealed with great fanfare. It was, mercifully, not All Might themed. Instead, it was covered in fondant flowers and had "Happy Birthday Haruto" written in green icing.
*It's actually nice,* Haruto admitted. *Mom did good.*
They sang "Happy Birthday." Haruto blew out the candles—two of them, representing two years of suffering in a toddler body. He made a wish: *Please let me survive this party with my sanity intact.*
The cake was distributed. It was chocolate with vanilla frosting, and it was genuinely delicious.
Haruto was enjoying his slice when Takeshi, sitting next to him, decided to share some information.
"I ate a crayon yesterday," Takeshi announced proudly.
"Cool," Haruto said, because what else do you say to that?
"It was blue. It tasted like blue."
*What does blue taste like?* Haruto wondered. *Actually, no. I don't want to know.*
"Your quirk is cool," Takeshi continued, mouth full of cake. "Plants are neat."
"Thanks."
"My quirk is that I can digest anything!" Takeshi said this like it was an accomplishment. "Watch!"
He proceeded to eat his paper plate.
*Oh my god,* Haruto thought. *His quirk is eating disorders. That's not a quirk, that's a medical condition.*
"Takeshi, sweetie, please don't eat the plate," Takeshi's mother said wearily, like this was a frequent conversation.
"But I can!"
"Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
*Words to live by,* Haruto thought.
The party continued. More games Haruto didn't want to play. More of Giggles' aggressive enthusiasm. More children running around with the chaos energy of tiny caffeinated tornados.
At one point, someone spilled juice on the carpet. At another point, Bakugo's quirk accidentally set fire to a streamer (quickly extinguished by a panicked parent). Mina melted a balloon. Izuku took more notes.
It was chaos. Pure, unfiltered chaos.
*This is what hell looks like,* Haruto thought. *Dante got it wrong. Hell isn't fire and brimstone. It's children's birthday parties with clowns.*
Finally—FINALLY—parents started arriving to pick up their children.
"Thank you for coming!" Haruto's mother said to each family. "I'm so glad you could make it!"
*I'm so glad you're leaving,* Haruto thought.
Giggles was the second-to-last to leave, after making one final balloon creation—a balloon hat that looked like a demented flower—and placing it on Haruto's head.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY BOY! STAY MAGICAL!"
*I'm going to have nightmares about you,* Haruto thought, but he waved politely because his mother was watching.
The Midoriyas were the last to leave.
"That was so fun!" Izuku said, still somehow energetic. "Best party ever! Did you have fun, Haru-kun?"
Haruto looked at his friend's genuine excitement, at Inko's warm smile, at his own mother's happy exhaustion.
"Yeah," he lied. "Fun."
Izuku beamed, and Haruto felt only slightly guilty about the lie.
After they left, the apartment fell silent except for his parents cleaning up the remains of the party.
"I think that went well," his mother said, tying up a trash bag full of wrapping paper and destroyed balloon animals.
"Very well," his father agreed, scraping frosting off the wall. "Although next year, maybe we skip the clown."
"But Haru loved the clown!"
Haruto, still wearing the demented balloon flower hat, looked at his father. His father looked back.
An understanding passed between them.
"Maybe we just do family next year," his father suggested diplomatically.
"Well... if you think that's best."
*Thank you, Dad,* Haruto thought. *You're a real one.*
That night, exhausted and overstimulated, Haruto lay in his crib staring at the ceiling. The balloon hat was on his dresser, a monument to the day's trauma.
*I survived,* he thought. *Barely, but I survived.*
His plant book from Izuku was next to his pillow. He'd read it three times already. It was good. Simple, but good.
*Two years old,* Haruto thought. *Two years in this world. Two years of pretending to be a normal kid. Two years of planning and watching and waiting.*
*How many more until I can actually do something?*
The fake stars spun overhead, and Haruto felt that familiar frustration building. He was stuck. Powerless. A toddler with big plans and no ability to execute them.
*Patience,* he told himself. *I need patience.*
But patience was hard when you knew what was coming. When you knew people who would die that you could save.
*If I could just manifest my quirk fully,* Haruto thought. *If I could just be strong enough...*
The stars continued their rotation, indifferent to his frustration.
Somewhere in the park, his sunflower swayed in the night breeze, growing another inch despite his mother's rules about plant control.
*Even the sunflower doesn't listen to me,* Haruto thought.
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but all he could hear was Giggles' voice echoing in his head: "STAY MAGICAL, BIRTHDAY BOY!"
*I hate birthdays,* Haruto decided. *I hate parties. I hate clowns. I hate all of this.*
*But I love my family. And Izuku. And even that stupid sunflower.*
*So I guess I'll keep pretending. Keep playing the part of the normal two-year-old.*
*For now.*
From the living room, he heard his mother laugh at something his father said. Warm. Real. Happy.
*Yeah,* Haruto thought, finally feeling sleep pull at him. *For now, I can do this.*
*But that clown better never come back.*
*I'll grow a tree specifically to drop on him.*
With that comforting thought, Haruto drifted off to sleep, the balloon hat watching over him like a demented guardian angel.
---