Could I kill her first?
The thought makes my stomach twist.
I've never killed anyone. Never even hit anyone in a real fight. The closest I've come to violence is playing video games.
But she's going to kill me. She said so herself. She needs a human heart and blood for her forge.
She's going to murder me and harvest my organs like I'm livestock.
Self-defense.
It would be self-defense.
I could grab the pickaxe.
Swing it at her. Hit her in the leg, maybe, or the back. Injure her enough that I can run.
I don't have to kill her. Just hurt her enough to escape.
My hands are shaking.
Can I do it? Can I actually hurt her?
She's going to kill you, a voice in my head says. She already did kill you. You felt it. You died.
If you don't do something, you'll die again.
I take a breath. Make a decision.
Slowly, carefully, I reach back with one hand while still pulling the cart with the other. My fingers find the handle of the pickaxe.
I start to pull it toward me, trying to be quiet, trying not to change the rhythm of the cart wheels—
The cart stops.
Just for a second. Just a brief pause as my pulling becomes uneven.
But it's enough.
Renna turns around immediately.
Her amber eyes lock onto mine. Then drop to my hand on the pickaxe handle.
"Why'd you stop?" she asks, her voice neutral.
Panic floods through me.
I fumble with the pickaxe, my grip slipping. It clatters back into the cart with a metallic clang that echoes through the tunnel.
"I—nothing," I say quickly. "Just, uh, adjusting the load. It shifted."
I grab the cart handle with both hands and start pulling again, trying to look normal. Natural.
But Renna doesn't turn back around.
She's watching me. Really watching me. Her eyes narrow slightly.
"You okay?" she asks.
"Yeah," I say. "Fine. Why?"
"You're acting weird," she says. "All jumpy."
"I'm not—" I start, but my voice comes out too high, too defensive.
She takes a step toward me, her hand shifting on her pickaxe handle. The movement is subtle but I catch it.
She's suspicious.
I need to say something. Something that explains my behavior. Something that makes sense.
"I need to use the bathroom," I blurt out.
The words hang in the air for a moment.
Renna blinks. "What?"
"Bathroom," I repeat, latching onto the excuse. "It's urgent. I really need to go."
For a moment, she just stares at me. Then something shifts in her expression. The suspicion fades slightly, replaced by something almost amused.
She giggles. Her expression was cute. But I couldn't find it.
"You're that desperate?" she asks.
"Yes," I say, nodding maybe too enthusiastically. "Very. I should have gone before we left town but I didn't think about it and now—"
"Okay, okay," she says, holding up a hand. "I get it."
She gestures back the way we came—towards the tunnels we already passed.
"There are side passages back that way," she says. "Find a corner, do your business, and cover it with dirt. I don't want your stink in my mine."
She points to a branching tunnel maybe thirty feet behind us, one we passed on the way in.
"That one should work," she adds. "Just be quick about it."
"Okay," I say, maybe too eagerly. "Yeah. I'll be fast."
I grab a shovel from the cart and start walking back toward the tunnel she indicated.
"And Kaito?" she calls.
I stop, looking back at her.
Her expression is softer now, almost amused again.
"I know some guys get weird about this kind of thing. Take your time. I'm not going to watch or follow you. Just... don't wander too far, okay? Easy to get turned around in these tunnels."
"I won't," I say. "Thanks."
I turn and walk toward the side tunnel, forcing my steps to stay calm and measured while she can see me.
The moment I round the corner into the branching passage, out of her direct line of sight, I pause.
I can hear her behind me. The sound of her setting the lantern down. The creak of her settling in to wait.
I take a few more slow, quiet steps. Then a few more.
And then I run.