In her past life, Straw's first love was not Cassie. It was her best friend. The memory always came back uninvited. Not loud, not dramatic, but quiet and sharp, like something pressing against her ribs from the inside. It lived in the space between breaths, in the pauses she never noticed until they hurt.
They started dating in their first year of high school. Straw had harbored feelings for her since elementary school and finally confessed during a slumber party. Her best friend, Grace, did not want a relationship, but she wanted everything else. At first, they were friends with benefits, then a half-girlfriend situationship. It was confusing, messy, and never clearly defined. But Straw stayed anyway. She learned how to accept crumbs and call them meals. She learned how to smile when things were good and pretend the rest did not matter. Straw was patient. She believed that one day they would become real girlfriends. She told herself patience was love. That waiting was devotion. That if she stayed long enough, proved herself enough, endured enough, it would eventually turn into something solid.
But after graduation, Grace's father wanted Straw to study abroad instead of attending the college that both Andrea and Grace had planned to go to together. They even talked about not going to college at all. If worse came to worst, they would skip it entirely. But her father insisted she at least try on the first day.
That single day changed everything. That was when she met Cassie. And everything changed. Cassie was loud where Grace was quiet. Confident where Grace hesitated. Cassie wanted her openly, loudly, without conditions. At least, that was what it looked like at first. Story cut short, Andrea dumped her first girlfriend for someone new. She thought Grace would not let her go so easily, but to her surprise, Grace did not fight for what they had. That was what hurt the most. No screaming. No begging. No dramatic confession at the airport or desperate phone calls in the middle of the night. Grace just let her go. Straw wanted a girlfriend who would fight for love regardless of the circumstances. She wanted someone who would grab her wrist and say stay. Someone who would burn the world down rather than let her walk away. That was why she stayed with Cassie even when the relationship became unhealthy. She thought it was her punishment, but she still could not let go. Even on the night of her accident, if that accident had never occurred, something would have happened that brought them back together. It always did. The cycle was familiar. Break, bleed, return. Hurt, forgive, repeat. Being a fan to dark romance was what made her stay in that six year relationship.
And now, standing in a palace she never asked to enter, facing a princess who ruled with blood and silence, Straw realized she had walked straight into another version of the same story. Now Andrea, now Straw, had entered what people called a dark kind of romance.
She held up her quill pen, reading the terms and conditions of the contract marriage carefully. Straw was not the type to just sign blindly. She needed to know what she was getting into. She needed to know if she was selling her soul, or at the very least, whether this would benefit her in any way. The paper smelled like ink and authority.
"Okay, Princess, these terms and conditions are only for your benefit, not mine," Straw said, gesturing with her hand as she sat on the table close to where Berryanna was seated. "I want my own terms and conditions too."
Her voice was steady, even if her heart was not.
"What are your terms and conditions, then?" Berryanna asked calmly.
The princess did not raise her voice. She never needed to.
"I want them written on paper," Straw said. "Just like this. That will be my guarantee."
Berryanna studied her for a moment, unreadable, before giving a slight nod.
A few minutes later, the barrister returned with his typewriter. He sat down and began typing as Straw spoke.
The sound of keys hitting metal filled the room.
"Number one, rules and regulations."
"Rules and regulations?" Berryanna cut in. "I thought it was terms and conditions."
"Does it make any difference?" Straw replied. "Your terms and conditions already sound like rules and regulations. Look at this one. Curfew is 7 p.m. No roaming around the palace. No talking with palace maids. Always say yes to my words. Never relate to outsiders. Never climb out the window."
Each sentence landed heavier than the last. Straw scoffed.
"This one in particular sounds childish. Do I look like a child to you? You are getting married to a grown adult, not adopting one."
She glanced at the paper again, her fingers tapping against the table.
"And I am not going to read out all the sexual routines you listed here either. They are kind of freaky. Some I like, especially this twice daily, morning and night..."
The barrister froze mid type, then hurried to keep up. As Straw kept talking, Berryanna said nothing. The barrister, however, looked like he was sweating. His mind was racing as his fingers moved quickly across the keys.
Everyone who knew the princess knew one thing. She did not waste time on people who talked this much. Except for the king, her brother. Anyone else would have already lost their head for speaking to her in this tone. Straw continued talking rapidly, forcing the barrister to type just as fast.
"I want breakfast bread every morning. Since you said no interaction with the maids, you will bring it to me yourself. And with a kiss," Straw added.
The barrister stopped typing.
"Does the princess look like your personal servant to you?" the barrister snapped.
"Hey, Mr. Barrister," Straw said without looking at him, "type and let me do the talking. You're here to type. Unless you'd rather do it headless."
The barrister swallowed hard and resumed typing.
"You already stated no third parties, which I guess is just a fancy way of saying no cheating. Good," Straw continued. "I want to go on walks with you every morning and night. Just the two of us, holding hands."
She paused, considering her next words carefully.
"I do not want to be part of royal politics. Let me remain a simple wife. And I want freedom of movement, Princess."
"I already allowed your freedom of speech," Berryanna said, "but if you want freedom of movement, you will move with guards and always tell me where you are going."
"What, are you scared I will run off?" Straw asked.
"There is nowhere for you to run," Berryanna replied. "Wherever you are, I am always there. I have eyes everywhere."
The words were soft. The meaning was not. The barrister continued typing.
"Okay Makima," Straw said. "I also want freedom of friendship. I know you do not want me being friends with maids, and it is not like I am going to sleep with them or anything. But I want friends. I will not be a lonely wife."
"I can be your friend," Berryanna said.
Straw looked at her.
"I want a friend I can gossip with," Straw replied. "And you do not look like someone who talks."
"Well, my brother is talkative," Berryanna said. "He can be your friend."
"The king, that..."
"Cough, cough," the barrister interrupted loudly, saving Straw from crossing a line she should not cross.
After listing all her terms and conditions, the barrister had typed almost twenty pages. The stack was thicker than the marriage agreement itself. The weight of it sat heavy in Straw's hands.
Straw took her time reading through everything carefully, making sure she had not missed anything. When she was satisfied, she prepared to sign.
"You said you do not need me to love you," Straw said. "Well, spoiler alert, Princess. I will fall in love with you during this long contract marriage. And you will too."
"There is no way I will fall in love with you," Berryanna said immediately.
"Oh, Princess," Straw smiled. "You already have. And if you have not, you will. And you will be the one who falls hard. Because I am your first."
Confidence settled in her chest like armor. That was how it always went in every marriage contract trope she had ever read. They always fell in love, no matter how long it took. Straw was a patient lover. Or at least, that was what she told herself.
After signing the marriage agreement and the terms and conditions, Berryanna signed as well. Ink dried. Fate sealed.
"Well, if someone had told me I would never walk down an aisle to get married, I would have punched them in the face," Straw said lightly as she looked at the princess. "But look at me now. Officially a wifey."
She tilted her head, studying the woman who now owned her future.
"Princess, shall we seal this marriage agreement?"
Without warning, Straw lifted the princess's chin and kissed her.