×Kori POV×
"yo kori ever wondered what it feels like to be outside of this place, you know like.. What if we were born and raised in the outside world not as experiments nor as assassin's but normal people?"
"is it strange to be normal?"
"is it pathetic to be human and not something more?"
"is it wrong to have intense emotions even as what happened to you being justified but still the world decides not you?"
"hate is a strong word, strong emotion and strong meaning in one way or another. Love is a beautiful word, beautiful feeling and a cursed one too. So what's the difference? Both have their ups and downs. Love is a feeling you have and everyone wants and something very beautiful yet it's also something cursed and it clouds your mind leading to obsession, desire, do anything for a person even if their sick in the head or die for them, leads to the revenge and more. Yet hate leads to revenge, leads to truths and speaking things love can't and has to lie. Because if you really love someone... Why lie to them, why lie for other's, why lie just because that someone you love told you to lie to that friend? Hatred makes you speak what's in your heart, it also makes you lie but atleast it also speaks the truth of how much they hate other's unlike love that makes you lie to them?"
Why does it matter now... This boy the blonde one in front of me is so fixated on this? I don't know his name nor do I know his name? A nameless child from birth, a nameless human from creation and a nameless test subject they started using number's to name him.
Playing chest with him while being watched through the glass up there as where in a white room with everything white while sitting on a chair with a table and this boy sitting opposite me no too far.
"why ask me this? Isn't it complicated and understandable that love and hate gave two different sides while having one thing that's the same. They will always lie and have intense emotion to a certain person."
"true hmm... How about this." that's a checkmate.
Leaning back with his hands behind his head he smiles and looks at me before grinning.
"if I was to be a person to you in experience like known for a long time. Just put it in a perspective that you know my personality or my personality I'm showing now and put it in a future perspective. Would you hate me? Would you love me as a friend or brother? Or would you have both but in different categories? Would you kill me? Would you save me? It's all conflicted to either the mind or heart" that question is something most would answer after a few seconds say either "i would love you as a brother" "i would hate you, mybe i don't know" "depends on the situation" but there are those who would think deeply about them just as I am now.
I've never been outside this organization unlike some of the children including aether and Akuma with this blonde but I do have some knowledge of the outside world since here they do have TV's in our rooms so as to not be complete machines. Atleast that's the only human thing they have but back to this question.
I would hate him because what I assessed of him is enough to tell me the future.
After all he would be my best friend. But also a fake one.
Because no matter what or who would this child be with and experience with.
×he can not and will not ever feel connection to that person especially his parents. Because he has no reason to. Humans are not worth connecting to even if your human. What does that make you? A monster? A killer? Psychopath? Insane and disgusting? People are too quick to judge and too quick asses that person with understanding their past nor what made them like that.×
'they don't have a reason to know them, nor they they have a reason to understand them. Their disgusting and deserve to die that's it' a foolish thing because not all are like that. If that's true then what does that make you. I mustn't try to put the blame on you, not make it on you. Then why do you judge them without deeper reason? Because their monsters? So are you. Your not a monster then what's your goal that made you commit crime and lie to other's? I wouldn't understand or deserve to then you don't deserve to judge them or be human.
This thing of emotions is both a weakness and strength. Most would believe otherwise but look at them now.
Emotionally understanding and management is a hard thing to do for others since you have to focus on controlling your emotions and not let them cloud your judgment. Yet they fail to do that. Most would give up, others would keep going. That thing that's so profound, so... Real that it cannot be helped as I am sitting here now contemplating this boy's question that's the same age if not older than me and trying to understand the meaning behind it.
Asking such a question is random but it would leave people after a couple of days to come back to this this question and think deeply about while hiding and putting on a act of saying "it's alright" "I'm just thinking too much about it". So to answer this boy's question of rather would I hate him to the core later in the future or would I come to being connected and see him as a brotherly figure.
The answer to that is "possibly both"
I would come to dislike him but not hate him. I would come to be on good terms with him but not be considered a friend or anything higher.
Besides all the things I've contemplated and thought of right now including the emotions and that of someone's perspective.
Is exactly what his thinking right now so to put it simply. "i was putting in his perspective by following his train of thought and how he sees the world and himself" this organization has twisted his mind a little.
"i would possibly see you as an ally nothing as a friend or higher. And I would dislike you but not hate you if that's what your looking for in experience and bonding but If your talking about ideology then no. I would hate you and kill you. Because our ideals and thinking are not the same nor are they aligned." i answered looking at him in the way without much change of showing what I was thinking.
" ah I see then I'll agree to that. Your not wrong about us not being the same in ideology and possibly kill each other but I'll let my future self deal with that. And also did you rather just put in your train of thoughts in my perspective to get that answer because it would explain how you got that answer"
"mybe"
"then I guess you did."
"intuition?"
"more like feeling someone trying to be me"
"weird way to put it. So how about you. What would you feel towards me or see me?"
...
...
...
"i would hate you. I hate you because I cannot be compared or beat you, I hate you because you always understand me and use that against me, I hate you because... You killed my mother"
"your still on that? It was an order and mission it's not like I wanted too"
"bullshit."
"okay fine mybe i did want to kill her. But let's not forget she's the one who made the request after all your father was the culprit of killing an innocent child"
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! WHEN WILL YOU COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT HE DIDN'T MEANT TO DO IT!?"
"and when will you come to terms with the fact that you knew he was the culprit yet lied and gave false information about what happened. If you knew it was an accident as you say then why did you lie?"
"i was young that day, you can't expect me to tell the truth"
"a 3 year old able to make paper files and spread rumors about an idol being pregnant and that child was the mother's adopted child and is infact the idols. Yeah proof that to me that your innocent after what you did and the capable level of thinking no 3 year old should have"
"weather you believe me or not I will get my father out of jail to proof his innocence"
"and when will that happen when your stuck in these walls? And do you have think your father is innocent when you know your just doing that just so the attention from you would be focused on him giving you enough freedom to leave Japan"
"you don't know me nor do you know anything about me, you have no right to judge me or act like you understand me"
"and you have no right to defend a criminal who broke a family apart."
"i hate you..."
"hate won't get you anywhere. I hope you would stay down and die in pain" finishing the match staring at his blue eye's that are nothing but hatred yet is so calm yet his expression is still that of a gently smiling person. Fucking maniac.
In the end, some people are born evil, other's are made. There's no difference between evil and good because no matter who it is. Some are born the way they are, other's are made, some have the same goals but different ideology, and others have different goals that lead to them into fighting each other.
The world is Grey.
I am Grey and so is he. Not blue and red, not yellow and Grey. And certainly not black and white. Just Grey.
Although there are two soul exceptions of those ones.
"i honestly really wish you didn't exist"
"quit complaining. It won't get you anywhere"
"so should we leave or wait for the instructors?"
"let's wait. We will be punished if we leave too soon"
I hope in the future that atleast. You won't be my enemy because what I did was wrong yes and what your father did was wrong. So please. In the future don't make it come to terms that we kill each other. Because the outcome.
Would be me winning and you losing your life.