Chapter 16
Lina's POV
My heart pounded so hard in my chest I thought it might burst out. I wasn't supposed to feel like this, but those eyes…the way they look at me so desperately, intense, like I was the only thing that he craved so much right now.
Just give in Lina, I know you feel something. Carla spoke inside my head.
"Just shut up and let me think." I shot back between gritted teeth. "He is already engaged remember?"
Louis leaned closer, "what's taking you so long to give me an answer?" He asked quietly. I shifted back on instincts, not expecting the sudden closeness. I swear, his marking me must have changed something, because why did I….want him?
Heat pooled between my legs, I was already wet and aching. How did I get so horny from just kissing someone I don't even remember ever having feelings for.
I needed to snap out of it. I couldn't take my eyes away from him, the way his jaw tightened, his chest rising and falling from barely controlled lust….and goodness, I almost gasped at the sight of his bulge, pushing tightly against his trousers.
If I didn't leave this room right now, I might do something I'll definitely regret.
I hurriedly got up, almost bumping my forehead against his. "I'm sorry your highness, I have to leave." I breathed, rushing towards the door…but he moved so fast I didn't even realize he was already at the door, blocking my way.
"You didn't give me an answer."
"You want an answer right? Fine…" I shot back, my expression hardening. "I feel nothing for you. Besides, aren't you already engaged? What more do you want from a lowly slave like me?" my words came out harsh, not because I meant to sound harsh, I just….I couldn't take the risk, not with a Winston. My fate could end up just like before, if I dared to let myself waver.
I noticed his expression harden, his eyes turning cold as he quietly moves away to let me pass. I didn't waste another second there. I rushed out of his quarters, my eyes burning as I tried to hold back my tears. The emotions welling up inside me, so much pain than I've ever felt before, sadness….these couldn't be mine.
I froze where I stood, clutching my chest as the emotions overwhelmed me. It was at that moment that it dawned on me. He was actually in love with me. But how? When? I don't understand. What in the world is going on, why had events become so unpredictable, so many things had changed I don't even know what to do anymore.
If Louis was in love with me, then…maybe I finally had a chance to use him to change my fate. Carla has already proposed this, but I was afraid I'll end up being betrayed, used and then cast aside just like the past.
But this was different now, he loves me.That makes him a risk… and an opportunity.... I just needed to use him to change my fate, I didn't have to love him back.
Using him meant crossing a line I swore I never would.
It meant becoming something I despised.
But what was the alternative?
I don't know what came over me, but I turned around, heading back into the room where I found him laying on the bed.
He sat up in a hurry as I barged into the room, his eyes wide with surprise. He obviously wasn't expecting me to come back.
"You—" he stopped himself, pushing himself upright. "Why are you here?
"
I didn't answer immediately. I stood there, staring at him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, the way his jaw clenched like he was bracing himself for rejection all over again.
"I lied," I said finally.
His brows pulled together. "About what?"
I hesitated just for a second, then I forced myself to speak before I could change my mind.
"About feeling nothing," I said.
His eyes didn't leave my face. It was unsettling, the way he looked at me, like he was trying to read something I didn't even fully understand myself.
He stood up slowly, like he didn't want to scare me off again. He didn't touch me, didn't come too close, but the space between us still felt too small. I could feel his presence everywhere, his warmth, his scent, the tension rolling off him, and worst...I could feel his emotions.
"Then what do you feel?" he asked quietly, his tone gentle, weird in a way.
My chest tightened.
"I don't know," I admitted. "And that's the problem."
His brows drew together slightly. "Because of me?"
I shook my head. "Because of your name, your family. And because trusting the wrong people once already ruined my life."
He was quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was lower.
"I won't hurt you."
The reassurance in his tone made my stomach twist. What was this feeling.
"I'm not asking for promises," I said quickly, not wanting to hear more. "I'm not asking for love either."
That made him pause.
"Then what are you asking for?" he asked.
There it was. The question I'd been avoiding.
I took a breath, steadying myself.
"I need protection," I said. "i hate that I have to keep living like this."
"You already have that," he said.
I let out a quiet, almost humorless laugh. "No. I really don't."
"You want my backing," he said, stepping closer. "My authority." He added, his face was expressionless so I couldn't really tell what he was thinking.
"Yes." I admitted.
"And what do I get in return?" he asked.
I froze for a moment. I hadn't expected such question. I exhaled, then looked straight at him. What I was about to do was extremely ridiculous, I know...but what choice did I have.
I put on a careful seductive smile, walking closer to him. I reached to caress his bare chest, but he suddenly reached to hold my hand, stopping my advances.
"You don't have to. I can feel your emotions too Lina, and I know you don't love me." He said quietly.
I stilled, blinked, and gave a small embarrassed smile. If only the ground could just open up and swallow me. What was I thinking.