The sun rose over the Mystic Cloud Sect, but for the first time in centuries, the sunrise seemed dull compared to the light radiating from the 12th Peak.
Overnight, Desolate Cloud Peak—known affectionately as "Trash Mountain" by the locals—had undergone a transformation so radical it defied the laws of botany. The withered, grey trees were now bursting with emerald leaves that shimmered with dew. The dry, cracked earth was carpeted in lush spirit grass that grew inches by the minute. The air, once smelling of decay and old socks, was now thick with a mist so rich in Qi that breathing it felt like drinking a high-grade energy potion.
And right in the center of the courtyard, precisely where the wooden outhouse used to stand, a golden geyser of water was bubbling up from the earth.
Jiang Chen stood by the geyser, brushing his teeth with a willow branch. "Ah," he spat out some foam, watching it dissolve into the golden water. "The sweet taste of property value going up."
Behind him, his three disciples were staring at the geyser in a mix of awe and horror.
"Master," Ye Kai asked, scratching his head with his Titan Gauntlets (carefully, so he didn't crush his skull). "Is this... the toilet water?"
"No," Jiang Chen corrected, wiping his mouth. "This is Dragon Spring Essence. It just happens to originate from the same geographical coordinates where the latrine was located. It is a coincidence of nature."
"It glows," Su Ling adjusted her glasses, standing five meters back and wearing a face mask made of three layers of silk. "I have analyzed the liquid. It contains Grade 9 Spirit Qi, trace amounts of Dragon Aura, and... well, chemically, it is clean. But psychologically? I cannot accept this."
"You don't have to drink it," Jiang Chen smiled, snapping his fan open. "We're going to sell it."
The Vultures Arrive
Before they could discuss the marketing strategy, the sky darkened. It wasn't a storm. It was traffic.
Hundreds of disciples, Deacons, and Elders on flying swords were circling the Desolate Cloud Peak like vultures. They had seen the Golden Dragon phenomenon last night. They smelled treasure.
"Look at the Qi mist!" "Is that a Spirit Spring?" "I thought this place was cursed?" "Maybe the curse broke! Let's go down and grab some loot before the Sect Leader claims it!"
A group of bold Inner Sect disciples dived down, landing at the base of the mountain path. They drew their swords, ready to rush up and claim whatever treasure had appeared.
But they stopped. Because there was a sign planted in the middle of the path.
It was a piece of broken wood with jagged red letters (written in chicken blood by Ye Kai, because ink was too expensive):
[STOP.] [PRIVATE PROPERTY OF THE GUEST ELDER.] [TRESPASSERS WILL BE USED AS FERTILIZER.] [ENTRANCE FEE: 10 SPIRIT STONES.]
The disciples scoffed. "Guest Elder? That mortal scammer?" "He thinks he can stop us with a sign? Rush him!"
They stepped past the sign.
WHOOSH.
A massive shadow fell over them. Ye Kai landed in front of them, creating a small crater. He was shirtless, his muscles gleaming in the morning light, wearing the pitch-black Titan Gauntlets.
"Master said," Ye Kai recited slowly, looking at a cheat sheet written on his hand, "No ticket, no entry."
"Move, idiot!" The lead disciple, a Foundation Establishment Level 5 cultivator, sneered. "I am an Inner Sect elite! I outrank you!" He slashed his sword at Ye Kai.
CLANG.
Ye Kai didn't dodge. He caught the blade with his bare hand (protected by the gauntlet). He looked at the sword. Then at the disciple. "Refund denied."
BONK.
Ye Kai gently (for him) tapped the disciple on the head with his finger. The force of the Titan Gauntlet multiplied the tap by ten. The disciple's eyes rolled back. He collapsed instantly, foaming at the mouth.
The other disciples froze. Ye Kai smiled, a wholesome, terrifying smile that showed too many teeth. "Next?"
An hour later. A long, orderly line had formed at the base of the mountain. The violence had convinced everyone that paying the fee was cheaper than a concussion.
Jiang Chen sat at a makeshift table (a flat rock covered in a velvet cloth), wearing sunglasses he had fashioned from smoky quartz to block the glare of the piles of money.
"Line up! Line up!" Jiang Chen shouted, fanning himself. "Don't push! The 'Old Monster Cave' is open for business! Experience the miracle of the Golden Dragon!"
Deacon Liu (the bald receptionist) was the first in line. He was sweating, holding a bag of coins. "Senior... I mean, Elder Jiang... what is going on? The Sect Leader sent me to investigate. He asked if you are conducting forbidden rituals."
"Tell the Sect Leader it was a... um... Ancestral Feng Shui Awakening," Jiang Chen lied smoothly. "I successfully purified the curse using an ancient technique called 'Hydro-Dynamic Spirit Flush'. The Dragon was just the mountain thanking me."
"Thanking you?" Deacon Liu looked up at the glowing peak. "It looks like a paradise now! The Qi density is higher than the Main Peak! Can I... can I go in?"
"Of course," Jiang Chen extended his hand. "10 Spirit Stones. Friend discount."
Deacon Liu paid. He walked up the path, breathing in the rich Qi. "Oh! My back pain is gone! My kidney feels warm! It really works!"
"See?" Jiang Chen shouted to the crowd. "It heals kidneys! It cures baldness! Who's next?"
The crowd went wild. Cultivators were simple creatures: they would kill their own mothers for a good cultivation spot. 10 Spirit Stones was expensive, but for this level of Qi? It was a steal.
"Take my money!" "Me first!" "I have kidney problems too!"
Jiang Chen's bag of holding started to fill up. Clink. Clink. Clink. Wei Wu sat nearby, listening to the sound of coins dropping. It was the most beautiful music he had ever heard.
As the coins flowed in, a powerful aura descended from the sky, dispersing the clouds. The crowd parted in fear. Even the unruly disciples bowed their heads.
Elder Pill (Mei Hua) landed. The massive woman was a Nascent Soul Level 5 expert and the head of the Alchemy Hall. She sniffed the air, her nose twitching like a bloodhound finding a steak.
"I smell it," she declared, her voice booming. She marched up to Jiang Chen's table, ignoring the queue. "I smell... High-Grade Dragon Qi. And something... pungent."
Jiang Chen didn't panic. He smiled. "Elder Pill. Lovely morning. Have you eaten?"
"Cut the crap," Elder Pill slammed a bag of 500 Spirit Stones on the table. The rock cracked. "The water. The glowing water bubbling in your courtyard. I want it. I need it for my 'Nine-Turn Golden Pill'."
Jiang Chen looked at the bag of money. Then he looked at the geyser (which was definitely coming from the old latrine pit). Then he looked at Su Ling, who was frantically shaking her head in the background, mouthing 'Don't do it!'
"Elder Pill," Jiang Chen said seriously, leaning forward. "You have a refined nose. That is Holy Dragon Nectar. It is extremely rare. It takes... uh... thousands of years of 'natural fermentation' to create."
"I knew it!" Elder Pill clapped her hands. "That earthy undertone! That sharp ammonia kick! It's the sign of deep earth cultivation! Ordinary water is tasteless, but this... this has body!"
"Exactly," Jiang Chen nodded. "It has a lot of body."
"Sell me a barrel!" Elder Pill demanded.
Jiang Chen hesitated for exactly one second. Was it ethical to sell toilet water to a High Elder? He looked at his empty wallet. He looked at the System Upgrade progress bar [98%]. Ethics were for rich people.
"Su Ling!" Jiang Chen shouted. "Bottling service! Fill a barrel for the Elder!"
Su Ling appeared, wearing a hazmat suit made of talismans. She filled a wooden barrel with the glowing water and sealed it tight with three layers of wax. "Here you go," Su Ling whispered, handing it over with trembling hands. "Do not open near open flames. Or noses. Or... just don't open it."
Elder Pill grabbed the barrel. She popped the lid and took a deep sniff. "Ah! Pungent! Earthy! Powerful!" Elder Pill's eyes rolled back in pleasure. "This is the good stuff! I can feel the nitrogen content! This will make the pill explode with power!"
She flew off, cackling like a maniac, clutching her barrel of toilet water.
The crowd watched in awe. "Did you hear that? The Pill Elder said it's potent!" "She said it has 'Nitrogen'!" "I want a bottle!"
"Price just went up!" Jiang Chen announced, standing on the table. "20 Spirit Stones a bottle! Limited supply! Get your Dragon Water here!"
By sunset, the crowd had dispersed. Jiang Chen sat in the Hall of Forgotten Truths. It was no longer a ruin. With the money he made today, he had hired construction disciples (from the Craft Peak) to fix the roof and walls. He bought velvet curtains. He bought a throne.
He sat on his new throne, counting a mountain of Spirit Stones. "3,000... 4,000... 5,000."
"We are rich," Ye Kai said, eating a roast chicken with both hands. "Master, can we buy a cow?"
"We are targeted," Su Ling corrected, pasting a 'Do Not Disturb' talisman on the front door. "Master, we just scammed half the sect. When they find out the 'Holy Water' is form the latrine..."
"They won't," Jiang Chen grinned. "Because it works. The Qi is real. The Dragon Vein is real. As long as they gain cultivation, they won't ask where it came from."
Suddenly, a mechanical chime rang in his head.
Ding! [System Update Complete.] [Version 2.0 Installed.] [Feature Unlocked: Investment Cashback.] [Scanning Past Investments...] [Calculating Rewards...]
Jiang Chen rubbed his hands together. "Here comes the payo—"
Wooooooo...
Bob the Ghost floated out from the back room, looking terrified. "Master," Bob wailed. "There is a problem."
"What is it, Bob? Did the incense run out?"
"No," Bob flickered nervously. "The Sect Leader has come out of seclusion. And he sent a message."
A paper crane made of pure white light flew into the hall. It radiated a terrifying aura—Void Treading Realm. It unfolded in front of Jiang Chen.
[To the Guest Elder of the 12th Peak.] [Your 'Dragon' woke me up.] [Come to the Main Peak tomorrow at dawn.] [We need to talk about your plumbing.]
Jiang Chen stared at the note. Ye Kai stopped chewing. Su Ling started digging a grave for herself under the floorboards.
Jiang Chen folded the note and turned it into a paper airplane. He looked at the System notification. He looked at his money.
"Well," Jiang Chen sighed. "I guess I can't charge him an entrance fee."