"Huh?"
I was awoken in the morning by a Sakurako holding my right forearm.
"Whuh?"
She noticed I wasn't asleep, and yet didn't release my poor arm.
It was then as I properly woke up, I felt her hands touching my skin.
"AH!"
Swiftly pulling my arm back, I startled her, but thankfully didn't accidentally hurt her.
Sakurako brought me a rudimentary breakfast prepared from my thinning
pantry, with a cup of tea to wake me up a bit. I thanked her as we both ate, but I knew she had questions forming in her mind already, and I still hadn't rolled my damned sleeve down.
"Why is there a bandage on your arm?"
"I hurt it"
"Hurt it how"
"I don't think you want to know the answer to that"
"I do"
"You don't"
"If you think I won't be capable of handling something, think again"
"And why's that?"
"I lied yesterday, I have seen my dad in the last four years"
I was taken aback she had lied, but there was an evident reason.
"I saw him two years ago for a very special occasion.. His funeral"
"How did he die?"
"Suicide, he seemingly couldn't handle his guilt and suspicion, spiralled, and killed himself"
"Fine"
I was more than happy to divulge information on myself nobody knew
about to Sakurako, but even this was a tall order.
"They're cuts, none of them are particularly recent, but I wear this silly thing to make sure nobody sees"
"Self-inflicted cuts.."
I sunk into myself. Not my chair, but myself.
"Yes."
I read the expression on Sakurako's face as her wanting to see them, so I slowly unravelled the bandage.
"There"
"I think I understand you now"
She held my arm, gently and softly.
"Do these hurt?"
"Not particularly"
Sakurako looked down at them, grew closer, and softly kissed my forearm.
"H-Huh??"
Now I was genuinely flustered. For the first time in my life I was speechless.
Sakurako flashed me a cheeky grin, I had seen her make so many expressions I hadn't witnessed before over the last day.
I was definitely blushing right now, so I hid that for damn sure.
"I won't tell anyone, but don't do this again. If you want to, just think about what I did"
"Ha, m-maybe that'll work"
"It better"
Sakurako Egawa was someone who I figured out just a little bit more every time I interacted with her. She was someone who was like a 10,000 piece puzzle, difficult at the start, fun in the middle, and most definitely very satisfying in the end. If it was the last thing I do, as I looked at her smiling face, I want to know this girl better than I
do now. I wanted to understand her like she can understand me. No matter how much I know now, or how much I can analyse her, my greatest wish is to collate information and truly understand her as a person. Sakurako Egawa was a strong person, witty, intelligent, quick-thinking and cocky. But she was also someone who knew her limits, loved to fight, couldn't help but tease and question people, and she was someone
who had suffered herself, someone I wanted to talk to, someone I felt I could rely on whilst not being a burden. I wanted to help her as she helped me, I wanted her to be able to rely on me. I couldn't bear the thought of her not wanting to talk to me. Why is that?
"Are you going to study this time round?" That was the last question Sakurako had asked me before her departure. I couldn't offer an answer, I had no clue. I had told her so much, we knew more about each other
than anybody in this school knew about either of us. Sakurako asked me that, probably to coax me into it, and to be honest I was considering some study, motivation welled inside me, a feeling I hadn't experienced in years.
Another feeling I had, was confusion, what was that, why did she do that to my arm? Why did she casually steal the clothes from my house, not that I minded. I sat down at my desk in my room, I saw something on it that was most definitely not there before, two things actually. A note, and a razor.
I recognised the razor, and the note was definitely from a certain someone, so I opened it. Don't do it again, I'm watching you. She had extremely pretty handwriting, much more than what I saw in her notes. I grabbed a pin and stuck the note into the board I had on my desk.
Picking up the razor, I looked at it, turned it over a few times, and threw it out of my strangely open window. I was done, not for her, but for me, I'm not doing this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I'm beating this, I'll claw my way out if I have to, but no matter what happens I'm not losing to this, I will, I will win!
Just after this my phone buzzed, check the caller and yep! It's Randan.
I picked up the call:
"Yo my brochacho"
"Hey there"
"So how was it?"
"How was what Randan?"
"Y'know, the-"
I hung up on him.
He called me back.
"C'mon man don't be so mean"
"Maybe be less of a complete moron"
"So not cool dude"
"What did you want?"
"I wanted to know"
"Just because you're a man-whore doesn't mean I am"
"You're so mean.."
"Obviously you moron"
Randan seriously was peomiscuous, I remembered he had had 12 girlfriends in the past two and a half years. What a guy.
"Is this what you do in your single life?"
"Single? Who said anything about single"
"Did you seriously find number 13?"
"13?"
"Who is she?"
"2nd year girl, in class three"
"You're getting passed around so much, I assume she confessed to you right?"
"Yep"
"How on earth are you so popular?"
"Cus I'm social, and I'm sexy"
"Sexy my ass, you're like an 8" This was a lie, he was objectively better looking than me, and every guy in the year..probably.
"At least I pull"
"I've rejected 5 people since middle school, I do it effortlessly"
"Shut up.."
I ended the call with Randan not long after, I then proceeded to crack open an empty workbook, and picked out my maths textbook. I was going to study, for real.
Two hours later I switched to science, then Humanities, then I was done, 6 hours straight of studying. It didn't feel too bad, my
motivation had carried me very far, and I felt fine after it, so I went for a walk around the block. Me and Randan had a game tomorrow, and we needed to assure that we won to make the finals that would start next
trimester. I messaged him to say he better not suck tomorrow, he replied with a dead rose emoji. Sakurako messaged me, thanking me for having her over, and wishing me good luck for the game tomorrow, she
really had an incredible memory.
At 10pm I opened the lid to my piano, and I practiced that too. I was rusty, but the skill was still there so I could get over it easily
enough. I did that for one hour before I went to bed.
Monday the 9th, finals started Wednesday the 11th, results would be released for that on the 18th. Mr Estrada had explained they would be completed in the same manner and order as the midterms, but they would
be more difficult, 15-20% to quantify it, he said.