Remaining Days: 5
This morning starts more peaceful than the last one, since Rin does not decide to disturb us. Not that she would disturb us by just being here, at least for my part. There is no helping being sort of flatmates at this point and it was me all along who feels like we should be getting along. Maybe I was being petty yesterday after all and maybe I should feel bad.
At this point, I do know how bad jealousy actually feels, even when it is unreasoned. And for Rin, it is not really that unreasoned. She must feel jealous, seeing that Saber got to date me while she did not. That I fell for Saber, not for her. To her, I can imagine it feels like Saber stole me right from her, in front of her own eyes. I do not want to imagine this ever happening to me, watching Saber simply going for someone else. I sigh. I should definitely give Rin more credit for not breaking down completely.
Maybe later, I tell myself, looking at Rin's door. I will talk to her later… along with Saber.
Thinking of her, I should wake her up already. The time is passing, and while there is not much information gathering for me to do since Saber knows Gawain rather well, I can imagine she would feel better if we get some training in before facing him.
"Saber," I say softly, as I gently shake her. But, of course, to no avail. " Mordred," I whisper, because I do not exactly want Rin to hear. It is some sort of unspoken agreement between us, not to tell Rin about Saber's True Name. It is, so to say, our secret. And in the end, Rin does not need to know about this either way.
I rip the blanket away from Saber, but even that does not seem to wake her. Really, have I conditioned her to need a kiss every single morning? It is not like I would ever mind kissing her, but still. This seems too much like a fairy tale. Alice would like this sort of thing, I think bitterly.
Yes, if I told her the story of princess Ritsuka and her knight in shining armour, Mordred, she would probably want to listen for forever to the tales of the knight saving her princess. Even if this knight is a bit foul-mouthed and the princess is really no one special at all. I would love to get the chance to tell Alice a tale such as this, but it was too late now. Way too late.
"What's wrong?" asks Saber, interrupting my thinking about the little girl who accepted death bravely, who let me kill her a second time as if dying once would not be hurtful enough. I shake my head at Saber, it feels embarrassing that I am still thinking about her, when I did not even know her so well. "Don't lie to me, you're crying," says Saber, wiping a tear from my cheek.
I… have not noticed this. I am really easily giving away what I feel and think, do I not? But now there is not much reason to hide this anymore, I suppose.
"I just thought back to Alice… I would like to read fairy tales to her, or something like that," I tell Saber, smiling. I know I should not be sad about Alice's death, she chose to let us win herself.
"I see," says Saber, leaning against my shoulder. "Let's just win this for her, 'kay?" That is probably the best we can do to honour Alice's sacrifice. And also Dan's death, Shinji's way too early death, Rani's suicide… and even Ronnie and Julius deserve to not be entirely forgotten. We beat all of them, so now it is on us to shoulder their wishes and hopes, somewhat.
"Sure," I told Saber, and we decided to go to the Arena today. It is still very possible to meet Leo and Gawain there, but we cannot help it. We do need the Triggers, and I do not want to keep Saber from training either. "Does Gawain not recognise you?" I ask Saber on the way.
I have only recently thought about this, but they know each other. Why does he appear like he does not really know her? From what she said about his loyalty, he should be a lot more hostile towards her than even Rin is.
"Doubt it, I've never taken off my armour around the knights," Saber says. Never? She really wore this stuffy armour all the time, while now she only does for battles?
"Not even the helmet?" Saber nods.
"Mother told me not to, so I didn't. No one but her or father knew my face." The first sentence sounds childishly cute, but I do not remark on this.
"So, as long as he does not see your armour…?"
"Yeah, he won't know who I'm. Besides someone who looks like the King whose ass he kissed." I sure hope she means this more metaphorically, but somehow, I do not really dare to ask. Especially because King Arthur—or rather, Arturia—is a touchy subject for Saber.
In the Arena, the Enemy Programs seem to have grown in strength much more than the last few rounds. But, this makes it more of a challenge for Saber, and I am still here to heal her or support her if it gets too close. And it is not like they are even any close to endanger her or me, so it works out. It just takes us more time to find our way through this maze of an Arena.
Eventually on the way, not that we specifically looked for it yet, we find the first Cipher Key: Trigger Code Nu. Collecting it now gives us a head start again, and this time it will surely prove to be handy. After all, I doubt Leo would surrender for any reason. We would not get around fighting him.
… But then again, I thought the same about Rani.
Back in our room, Saber lets herself drop down on our bed. "I'm done for today," she says, dematerialising her clothes, leaving just the panties she only wears because I asked her to. I sigh.
"Could you at least put on your shirt, geez?" This should not be asking for too much, right? This girl… It makes it even more unbelievable that Saber of all people lived most of her life wearing a heavy armour when now she would probably be a nudist if not for someone—like me—telling her she cannot do that. On the other hand, maybe she enjoys this sort of freedom exactly because she was bound to that armour all her life. I should not even question this, really.
"Why don't you put it on me?" She sticks out her tongue at me, trying to fluster me, possibly. Or she wants me to support her laziness. I walk towards the bed and grab the shirt she has thrown to the side carelessly this morning.
"Arms up," I tell her.
"Wait… you're really—" Apparently, she has not expected me to really take her up on that. Her reddened cheeks show that she is somewhat embarrassed about this now, but I do not really plan to back down now. She asked me to, and as a good Master—and girlfriend—I will of course do her this simple favour. I do not have to ask again, as my expression probably tells most of my feelings about this—-there not being any way around this now.
Saber reluctantly puts up her arms, facing away from me in minor shame. "No need to be embarrassed, I have seen you nude much closer already," I tell her, just to tease her and add to the embarrassment.
"Shut up," Saber pouts as I pull the shirt down, dressing her in it swiftly. Feels a bit like taking care of a child, but sometimes she acts like a spoiled child, after all.
"Need help for the pants?" I ask her, though I can already imagine that, in fact, she would not dare to ask me for such help another time.
"No need," she says, as she quickly adds her dark red shorts to her outfit. "Better?" I nod, smiling.
"Much better," I say, before I undress to wear my own nightgown. Unlike Saber I cannot materialise and dematerialise my outfit at will, so I take care to put away the black sweater and skirt—the things left of my school uniform—neatly. Then, I look at Rin's door.
"Wanna talk to her?" Saber asks, not even waiting a minute after I had my gaze wander to the door.
"I have to? At least I feel that way," I tell Saber. She gets up before even I do.
"Let's go then," she says.
I know this is not exactly her favourite thing to do, but in times like this I am glad she is pushing me a bit to do things I would rather procrastinate.