With tears in his eyes, Instructor Zhang immediately reported to his superiors what had happened to Guo Yungang and Li Weibing. And he began to investigate the weather forecast for that date. The findings made his heart sink:Liu Yun had indeed received the weather report that day but failed to broadcast it to the whole company. Worst still, she had left the base without informing anyone and had since gone missing. Two days had passed since the incident, yet she had neither returned nor sent any word. Instructor Zhang also submitted a full report to his superior. Of course, he knew he would have to take full responsibility for the tragedy. After all, as the highest-ranking officer in this company, such a serious accident occurring under his command meant that the most severe disciplinary action awaited him. In fact, he didn't care what punishment he might receive because he understood that it was his duty to bear that responsibility. What he couldn't accept, however, was the lose of Guo Yungang, a truly outstanding comrade, talented, diligent and wholeheartedly devoted to his work. No matter how many times he had cried, nothing could ease the deep sorrow in his heart. As for Li Weibing, being a woman, he didn't have interacted with her much personally, though he knew that his wife was closer with the Li sisters. Even so, he was well aware that Li Weibing had made fully use of her expertise and wisdom, putting forward many practical measures to combat land desertification through tree planting. She worked in a down-to-earth manner, unafraid of hardship, always diligent and conscientious in her duties. Losing such a good comrade was, to him, a cause of profound sorrow.
Xu Yumei looked at Li Weiwen, who had been unconscious for two days, then turned her gaze to Li Xinyu, who just began learning to toddle, sleeping soundly by the bedside. A wave of sorrow surged through her chest and tears welled up uncontrollably. Over the past two days, apart from watching over Li Weiwen and caring for Li Xinyu, she had also helped her husband sort through Guo Yungang's belongings. Instructor Zhang was in charge of sorting out official documents and work materials.
she handled Guo Yungang's personal items. There wasn't too much, just a few clothes and some books. The only thing that puzzled her was a pair of broken eyeglasses, carefully wrapped and stored as if they were a treasured possession. When Xu Yumei examined them closely, she felt a sudden sense of familiarity. Soon she realized they had belonged to Li Weiwen. She recalled asking she once why she no longer wore her glasses. Li Weiwen had replied casually that she had lost them. From then on she had never worn her glasses any more. Now, seeing them here, Xu Yumei felt a deep ache in her heart. She decided that Li Weiwen was the only person who should keep Guo Yungang's belongings.
After all, on the day following the deaths of Guo Yungang and Li Weibing, the higher authorities in Xinjiang Military Region had issued an order to Instructor Zhang regarding Guo Yungang's situation: The marriage between Guo Yungang and Li Weiwen was officially approved, but Guo Yungang was to be dismissed from his position as company commander and sent back to Xinjiang to await the further arrangement. Now this order was nothing more than a meaningless piece of paper. Guo Yungang was gone and there would never be a wedding for them. Even so, that document made Li Weiwen the only person entitled to keep his personal belongings. Although it had lost its original purpose, Xu Yumei still kept it carefully for Li Weiwen and for the unborn child she carried. Since Li Weiwen had been pregnant before their marriage had been officially approved, she would inevitably face various rumours, criticism and perhaps even unfair treatment in the future. If that day ever came, this single piece of paper might one day prove vital.
Over the past two days, Xu Yumei had grown increasingly worried about Li Weiwen's condition. Apart from an unusual and persistent drowsiness, Li Weiwen showed almost no reaction to anything, blank and unresponsive. Let her eat, she ate. Let her drink, she drank. If no one woke her, she continued sleeping, unaware of hunger or thirst. So Xu Yumei had to accompany her day and night, afraid that something might happen.
One night, about a week later, Xu Yumei woke in a daze and noticed Li Weiwen sitting by the window, staring out into the darkness. Xu Yumei didn't disturb her, only half-opened her eyes and watched her quietly. After a while, she heard Li Weiwen murmuring to herself:
"Yungang, the reason you don't come back is because I am a jinx so you want to stay far away from me. Right? Please, Yungang! Please come back and take our child with you. Let him stay far away from me too. I promise you that I will never contact either of you again, just as I have done with my mom. Yungang, please come back! Please take our child away! Please! I'm a jinx. Yes, a jinx. My grandfather, my sister and you... all gone because of me. I'm cursed!"
The moonlight filtered into the room, falling softly across little Li Xinyu, who slept beside the bed. Li Weiwen turned her head to look at the one years old child, then gently lifted him into her arms and whispered:
"Xinyu, I'm going to meet your Uncle Guo. But what about you? Should I send you away? But... to whom? Grandma You is too old to take care of you. Your grandmother is still in labour camp so she can't look after you either. I don't think Aunt Hongjun likes you because she never liked your mother. And your father...he has already given up his parental rights. What should I do with you? Maybe...maybe...or let me bring you to your mother. Then we can all be together again. Wouldn't that be nice?"
With that, she lifted the child, stepped down from the kang bed and started toward the door. Xu Yumei suddenly rushed forward and caught her, shouting:
"Weiwen, what are you doing? Where are you going?"
Li Weiwen turned to look at her, her eyes dull and lifeless. In a flat and distant voice, she said:
"We are ready to go to find Sister Weibing and Yungang. Then our whole family will be together again, never to be separated. You don't think it is good for all of us, do you?"
Tears streamed down Xu Yumei's face, she shouted:
"Weiwen, wake up! Please, you can't do this. No, you mustn't! Please! Don't let Guo and Weibing die in vain! They entrusted their children to you with all their faith. How can you betray their trust like this?"
Clutching Li Weiwen tightly, Xu Yumei broke down, sobbing so hard that her cries woke little Xinyu, who began to wail as well. Li Weiwen looked down at the crying child, her expression still blank and hollow, and said in a low, empty voice:
"Sister Yumei, what do you want me to do? I'm a jinx. Everyone who is close to me ends up with a bad fate. Just let me go and follow them."
Xu Yumei quickly took Li Xinyu from her arms, gently rocking him while speaking in a soothing tone:
"Weiwen, listen to me. Guo and Weibing's last wish was for you to take good care of their children. Look at them, one is just over a year old and the other hasn't even been born yet. They're orphans now, the only blood they left behind. Do you seriously intend to let their family lines to end here? Do you want them to die without peace? Weiwen, don't blame yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault. You have been unconscious for days so you don't know something. Liu Yun received the weather report but she didn't broadcast it to the whole company. My husband has already reported to the higher authorities. None of this was your fault."
Hearing this, Li Weiwen froze, her eyes widening in disbelief. Then tears finally welled up and streamed down her cheek. She began to sob, choking out:
"My sister went to herb the sheep for me. If I had gone instead, she should still be alive. And Yungang... he died for trying to save me. But in the end, they all died because of me. I'm a jinx. My grandfather, my sister and Yungang ---- they all passed away because of me. I'm a jinx, a curse!"
By the end, she was crying and shouting uncontrollably, her voice breaking in anguish. Then she collapsed onto the ground, weeping bitterly.
Seeing her finally cry, Xu Yumei felt a faint sense of relief. It was the first time Li Weiwen had shed tears since the deaths of Guo Yungang and Li Weibing. Xu Yumei comforted her:
"That's it, Weiwen. Cry it out, let it all out. Pour all your sorrow into your tears. Cry as much as you need."
As she spoke, she continued gently rocking Li Xinyu in her arms. After a while, the voice came from outside the door:
"Sister Yumei, do you need any help?"
Xu Yumei opened the door and saw five or six people standing in the dim light. Platoon Leader Zhao stepped forward and asked:
"Sister Yumei, how is she? We heard Li weiwen crying."
Xu Yumei nodded, letting out a faint sigh of relief, and said:
"Yes, it is all right now. Finally, she broke down and cried. Zhao, please take Xinyu to your Instructor Zhang. I can't really talk to her properly with the child here."
Zhao reached out to take the child from her arms and said:
"All right. Let Xinyu stay with us recently. Zhang is already overwhelmed with work right now. Here left to you. Don't let her get too upset again." Seeing Xu Yumei's nodded, he turned to the others and added, "All right, everyone, go back ang get some rest. Make sure your works are done properly tomorrow. The group of seasonal migration will be back soon and we need the memorial service ready by then."
Xu Yumei also spoke:
"Please don't worry. You go and sleep. I will talk to her."
After everyone left, Xu Yumei returned to the room. Holding Li Weiwen up and sitting on the kang, she comforted her:
"All right, don't cry anymore! You're still carrying a baby. For the sake of your child, you must stay strong."
Li Weiwen wept as she spoke:
"Be strong? Sister Yumei, how can I possible be strong? Yes, like you told me, this accident happened because Liu Yun failed to broadcast the weather report. But still, they passed away because of me. I'm truly a jinx. Sister Yumei, I don't want this child anymore. If he was with me, he will only suffer more misfortune."
Xu Yumei wasn't surprised. She let out a gentle sigh and said softly:
"I understand how you feel. You're pregnant but not married. Keeping this baby will only bring more more gossip and criticism and you will have to face it all alone. I'm not well educated so I may not know how to speak in grand principles or moral preaching. But you have to think about it, Weiwen. This baby is the only bloodline Guo left behind. If you decide to end this pregnancy, there will be nothing of him left in this world and his family line will die out. Can you really bear that?"
Li Weiwen shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Sister Yumei, you misunderstand me. It's not because I'm pregnant but unmarried. I'm not afraid of gossip. This is Yungang's child. No matter what, I will do my best to keep it. But... I'm a jinx. I am afraid...I'm afraid I wil bring him bad luck too. Everyone close to me meets a bad end. I don't want that to happen to him."
"Weiwen, you're wrong. To me, you're my blessing. You saved my life, and you saved Junjun's life. I believe the others in our company don't see you as a jinx either. Yes, some might comment on your background but no one has truly rejected you. Nothing escapes the eyes of the masses. They know how you treat them. When they were sick, you devoted yourself wholeheartedly to helping them ---- preparing medicine, giving them acupuncture and massages, and using your own skills to aid them without ever asking for anything in return. As for your mother, did she ever plan to abandon you because of your green eyes? Did she not protect you with all her might? As for others in your family, did they ever dislike you or abandon you? Did they not have protected you at all cost? I don't know the answer but I think you know. After all, I don't know about others, but I know about your elder sister, Li Weibing. I had seen how she treated you and how she protected you. She wasn't your biological sister, yet in the end, as you said, your sister gave her life for you. As for Guo Yungang, we are all aware of his background, his awareness, his ambitions, his abilities and his diligence. But for you, he ignored all of it. You were the only one in his heart and eyes. To marry you, he was fighting against not only a single battalion or regiment commander, but the leaderships of the entire Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps. Fortunately, those leaders understood him so in the end, his military and party membership were preserved. Why? Compare Liu Yun with you, her background and conditions were better than yours. And she liked him longer than you. But in the end who did Guo Yungang choose? You definitley know the answer better than I do. Did you think it was because your were a jinx? No, it was your beauty, your kindness and your integrity, which captured his heart. I once joked with him, 'Even a hero falters for the charms of a beauty, and this great hero has fallen for those blue eyes.' Now Guo Yungang and Li Weibing are gone, but their final wish was for you to take good care of their children, wasn't it? It proves that you are the most dependable and trusted person in their eyes. They entrusted their last care to you. Would you let them down? Would you let them be sorrowful? Would you let everyone who loves you grieve? Weiwen, I know that in the future, you might face endless gossip and criticism, you will encounter in hardest situation and you even face the unfair treatment. You will have to endure it all alone. The healthy growth of two children is waiting for you. I know it is hard, especially for a young woman just twenty years old like you, but you have no choice. No matter how difficult or painful you maybe face, you must confront the future like resilient grass standing firm against the wind. Weiwen, for yourself, for these two children, you have to be ready with your heart and soul."
Hearing this, Li Weiwen could do nothing but cry. Those two sentences kept echoing in her mind: "Your sister asked me to tell you to raise Xinyu well." and "Take good care of our child." Yes, that was their trust in her, their final wish. She was caught in a conflict, torn between not wanting to let them down and fearing that her own background might bring even greater misfortune to the two children. What should she do? No, she didn't know. And Xu Yumei's words struck her like a heavy hammer, leaving her nowhere to hide, no way to escape. Trembling, she could barely think, only shedding tears, and finally drifted back to sleep under Xu Yumei's soothing voice.
Two days later, Xu Yumei saw Li Weiwen got up and stepped out of the room bravely. Li Weiwen selected Li Weibing's and Guo Yungang's clothes to make two ceremonial graves. She just kept her broken glasses and the scarf which Guo Yungang had given her. The rest of Guo Yungang's and Li Weibing's belongings were sent to Grandma You. She also wrote a letter to You Tao, detailing everything that had happened, including Li Weibing's death and her relationship with Guo Yungang, but she left out the fact that she was already pregnant.
A week later, Liu Yun finally came back. She said nothing, no explanation, no excuse, only stood there blankly, her eyes empty as she faced everyone and asked in a trembling voice if she could keep one of Guo Yungang's belongings. Of course, Li Weiwen refused her request.
About a month afterward, the higher authorities issued the official decisions on how to handle this incident:
First, Comrades Guo Yungang and Li Weibing were posthumously honored as martyrs, and all officers and soldiers were called upon to learn from their example.
Second, economic compensation would be granted to Comrade Li Weibing's family.
Third, in view of the severity of this accident, Comrade Zhang Yang was dismissed from his position as political instructor and transferred to Jiu Quan for disciplinary action.
Fourth, former First Platoon Leader Yu Dayong was temporarily appointed as the new political instructor while the position of company commander would be assigned by the local government.
Lastly, the company's work would be primarily managed by the local government, with the Corps providing only anxilliary support.
This order utterly shattered what remained of Li Weiwen's already frozen heart. It meant that her dearest Sister Xu Yumei and Instructor Zhang would soon be reassigned and leave. What she could not bear even more was that Lin Feng, the man who had already given up custody of Li Xinyu, suddenly appeared, demanding to take the child away. His reason was simple: Being Li Xinyu's biological father, he claimed the right to raise his motherless son and to receive financial compensation. Li Weiwen was powerless. She could do nothing but watch as the child was taken away from her arms. Just one day after Li Xinyu was taken away, Li Weiwen received a letter from You Tao, asking her to bring Li Xinyu home. He wrote that he would handle all the household registration formalities himself. But now, it was too late ---- everything was in vain.