Social Justice Warrior #4, Omega Karen
There was in fact another Shadow Druid downstairs, a woman. Everything about her screamed extremist druid, from the way she dressed and carried herself; armor made of hard leathers and furs, club, withering gaze, crazy hair. She had actually watched us fight Takiyah and made no move to assist her fellow Shadow Druid.
Only now, after dealing with her arch shadowdruid, did we go down and talk to her. She had been waiting for us the whole time, a severe look on her face.
"We greet you, druid. We are here to-"
She put up her hand to bid me to stop talking.
"I heard you speaking with Laskal. I know you seek to destroy the evil men who have been defiling the woodlands with smoke and waste in their futile quest for the metal, iron. They are called the Iron Throne, and I seek to destroy them as well," she said. She was speaking through gritted teeth and maintaining a severe look, though I know not why.
I wasn't quite sure how to react to her, considering the difference in her words and her body language. "Uh, you are unusually pragmatic compared to your brethren. In spite of our shared cause, they had attacked as soon as they saw Jaheira-"
The druid immediately spat at the mention of Jaheira's name.
Jaheira tensed up, reaching for her club but stopping short.
A moment passed, but there was no escalation to violence.
My eyes narrowed, and I continued, "As I was saying, as soon as the saw Jaheira-"
She spat again.
"Stop that!" Jaheira snarled. "Faldorn, it is your very lack of tact that forces your splinter group to work against those who would protect nature from its enemies instead of alongside them!"
"I haven't forgotten about you, Jaheira!" Faldorn snarled back. "A reckoning will fall upon all those who harm nature or betray its cause, mark my words! I am not unreasonable, however. Those who would help destroy the greater perpetrator will be granted mercy. For now."
I cleared my throat. "It would appear that while we share the same enemy, we may find it difficult to work together due to our differing philosophies."
No arguments from either side. So we left Faldorn the Shadow Druid at that clearing, leaving her as the most senior Shadow Druid alive.
I knew that this act would definitely have repercussions in the future. However, I didn't think it would be right to do anything further under the circumstances.
---
Faldorn was the only pure druid companion in the game. That meant she could eventually cast the highest-level druid spells, including the super OP Insect Plague which I had mentioned earlier, as well as the Magic Resistance spell which had some very interesting applications. She had a unique ability to summon a Dread Wolf. Yes, she really summons a freaking half-undead wolf. I don't know why or how. This particular ability of hers has made it to her Magic: the Gathering card, by the way. Go ahead, look her up.
Her ability score spread was quite awful, having only a Wisdom score worth noting, so she could basically do nothing well EXCEPT cast druid spells. Still, that alone was what made her a worthy addition to the party. Jaheira, being a fighter/druid multiclass, could not reach the high-level spells that Faldorn could.
I would rather stick to Jaheira. I already had a pure divine spellcaster, Branwen, on the team, and I needed more martial brute force in my party. Besides, I was fond of both Jaheira and Khalid both.
Further, Faldorn is a lunatic. The game didn't have so much reactivity so it didn't matter, but can I couldn't imagine having to travel and fight alongside this maniacal social justice warrior whose cause is to kill everyone else who isn't also a maniacal social justice warrior. No thanks.
---
There was a cave within the Shadow Druid territory. I went in first silently, and spotted a man inside who was training two baby wyverns. I didn't get a good look at him, so when we went in as a party to engage this guy we were all taken aback by his appearance.
The man in question had a modern looking crew cut, unusually aesthetic body and was, uh, well endowed. We could tell the latter parts because he wasn't wearing a shirt and we could see something hanging all the way down his loose pants.
I had to blink once, twice. The guy looked passingly familiar, but not quite. I couldn't place it.
Neera was also looking at him funny. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
He looked up at her from the wyverns, back at the wyverns, then back at her again, distress clear on his face. "Uh, no. I'm Peter Nor… uh, Peter of the North. I'm just a humble woodsman. Doing things with my woody."
Not gonna lie, I cringed. Bad choice of words?
"Woodsman?" Imoen asked, with a suspicious glint in her eye. "What are you doing with those wyverns? Isn't that dangerous?"
"Wyverns? Uh, you mean these wyverns?" He said while gesturing to the wyverns behind him in a wide motion. As he swung his body back, his mighty shlong swished around in his pants.
All four ladies in our group took a step back. I and Khalid cringed hard. Good gods, wear some underwear! Why is this encounter like this in-person? What fresh hell have I come upon?!?
"You just don't know the subtleties of wood and WOOD-RELATED ACTIVITIES," Peter of the North blurted out, "These creatures are docile and, um, they are worth the risk. Why, even the DARKEST OF CAVES can be a rewarding experience for the woodsman that knows how to HAND HIMSELF."
MURRRRRGH. I was gritting my teeth so hard my mouth hurt.
"Stop! Make him stop. Please!" Neera moaned. She looked like she was in physical pain, though the rest of the party was looking at her and me funny.
Jaheira sighed. "Alright, enough of this nonsense. You're obviously being dishonest with us, Peter of the… Peter. You can drop the act."
Peter of the North was stepped back. "You have me all wrong! It is not uncommon for... for a woodsman to seek the comfort of NATURAL CAVERNS and... Oh, to blazes with it!" he cried out and stomped his foot. "I am training these beasts to serve as guards at the mines, but your presence has agitated them!"
He pointed at us. "Go on, my darlings! EAT THEIR MEAT!"
"SHUT UP!" Neera and I screamed.
Peter Nor-, urm, of the North was very dangerous if he is allowed to fire his longbow. But you meet him in an enclosed cavern and start right in his face, so, eh.
The two 'baby' wyverns were another matter. Even as a baby they're the size of a bull. Worse, baby wyverns already have their signature poison sting for 5 damage per second for 20 seconds (100 total). That's a death sentence unless treated with an antidote. Their saves are very good so spells are ineffective. Since they fly, baby wyverns are immune to ground effects like Grease and Web anyway. However their THAC0 is only 14 and their health isn't that high, so if you can take them down quickly, they can be tanked and spanked without much issue. Wyverns are evil, in case that matters.
I had a few scrolls of Protection against Poison which would make taking wyverns of any persuasion much easier, but I was leaving that for later. Spoilers, the next area was choke filled with wyverns.
"Retreat!" I called, and everyone backed off right out of the cave before Peter could get a shot off.
It was still night outside. We passed by Branwen's skeleton warrior, uh, skeleton bull, which had been summoned earlier, and waited to the side.
The first to emerge from the cave after us was a baby wyvern. It immediately set upon the closest target, the skeleton bull, attacking with its wings and stinger. Naturally, the poison from the wyvern's stinger was totally ineffective against undead.
Peter emerged from the cave next, and was immediately beset by Khalid and thus forced to drop his bow and parry Khalid's blade with his own.
Another baby wyvern emerged and joined the earlier baby wyvern in assaulting the skeleton bull. It was now a matter of seeing which would fall first, the baby wyverns or our skeleton bull. In the end, both baby wyverns fell before the skeleton bull took much damage. Without their poison, they weren't such a big threat.
Only Peter left, and he looked at us uncertainly. "WOOD you look at that? You guys really don't BEAT AROUND THE BUSH, do you?
Beat around the bush? Now that's an idea. Neera and I shared a look. We both drew our staves, stepped forward, and gave Peter a swift strike between the legs. Hard wood met hard wood, and Peter keeled over and dropped to the floor, his mouth frozen in a big 'o'.
Khalid winced, but said nothing as we proceeded to beat Peter with our staves in the you-know-what.
"Can, uh, someone explain what that was about?" Imoen asked the rest.
"I figured it out halfway, but I wish I didn't," Jaheira said, looking away. "Best leave it be."
"Aye," Branwen added dryly, "'Tis better off not knowing."
Khalid nodded vigorously.
---
It's not as if we were short on spells or the like, but we had been gone without sleep for 48 hours by this point from clearing the lodge, spider's nest and Shadow Druid territory. We're slightly over-leveled for the current content in the game, so pushing through the content without expending much resources is to be expected. We settled on using the Peter's cave to set up camp rather than hang around in the Shadow Druid treehouse.
From our conversation with Coran, we knew we were going to be facing wyverns, so we prepared accordingly. Debuff spells like Sleep and even Blind, would be nearly useless against wyverns except Doom and Chant which doesn't allow a saving throw. Direct damage, buffing and summoning spells, especially Animate Dead, would be more useful. Slow Poison could help us save an antidote potion or two, but our supply of antidotes were ample and I intended to use the scrolls in the next area anyway.
I knew from memory that there would be a challenging enemy that spams Dire Charm and Hold Person. I had Jaheira prepare Charm Person or Mammal, though we would probably be depending on the Ring of Animal Friendship.
Since we still had out traps, I and Imoen set them around the cave in case our rest was disturbed by monsters.
As I lay on my bedroll, my mind wandered to our victory in the bandit camp. I hadn't realised I was dreaming until a gust of wind blew me high above the camp and woods. For that moment, I was basking in the high morning sun, free as a bird. No deadly assassins, no need to build strength to survive.
Then I fell, shooting towards the earth and even right through it seamlessly. All was black around me for a time, but I kept descending.
Ehhhh. Which dream sequences was this again? Damn, I really shouldn't have skipped it in my previous playthrough. I wasn't going to see the core of the Toril, was I? Do the people here even know what lava is?
These were some of my errant thoughts until my descent slowed, and I arrived at a lit cavern. Dim though, I could barely see further than a few meters. I was wondering when I came face to face with Sonny.
Wait, I'm Sonny. Right, that's a statue of me. Still looking like a child, unfortunately.
A voice rang out from the dark, saying, "Such pride undeserved, great predator, when your whole being is borrowed. Credit where it is due, and dues where payment is demanded."
Ah, I think I remember this part after all. Dagger incoming-
On cue, a familiar dagger of bone flew out from the darkness, aimed at the chest of my statue. I karate chopped it out of the path of the statue before it could strike though.
The dagger of bone hung in the air, seemingly annoyed that it was thwarted. It twisted in place and took aim once more, this time at me.
"Gods are really unsporting, huh?" I said, and raised a hand to chop it out of the air again.
The dagger of bone didn't move. Instead, a second dagger flew out from the dark beyond my reach, hitting the statue square in the back. Predictably, it hurt like hell.
"You were made as you are," the voice taunted, "and you can also be broken."
"You're not fooling me, you know," I said aloud, in spite of the pain. "You can't actually harm me this way. Overplayed your hand with that dagger the last time."
This was the second time a dagger had threatened me in dream, after all. Even struck my heart previously. It was painful, yes, yet I awoke unharmed. Therefore, it was only natural I wasn't afraid this time.
Besides, I knew from the game that he couldn't harm me.
I grinned through gritted teeth. "After all, you're already dead yourself."
The voice from the darkness shrieked in outrage, and I was hurled into the dark void. Yet I awoke just fine. Better than fine, in fact. I felt more power at my beck and call, ready to be channeled through to my fingertips.
I examined my hand, felt myself, considering. I was beginning to develop my own theory about these dream powers. Yes, I knew the source since I played through the game. But why I gain the powers right after a dream from HIM, well. I used to think the dream was the source of the power since the power is gained right after each dream.
Now, I wasn't so sure. After all, the dream came from HIM, yet HE made it clear he didn't approve of me, much less want to grant me fabulous powers.
No, it would make more sense if I was gaining the powers against HIS will, seeing as how HE made it clear I did not earn them in HIS eyes. And then, taking offense to my thievery, HE gave me a dream to try and dictate how I should use it. Threaten me into submission.
In the original game, the main character would eventually come to ignore the voice in the dark after knowing who it was. The voice's threats would eventually fall on deaf ears.
In my case, since I was already cognizant of the voice's secrets, it was only right that I dismissed these hollow threats much earlier.
---
Conveniently enough, my new powers gave me the ability to cast Slow Poison once per day. Very handy to have before facing wyverns. Maybe I should have slept at the inn after defeating the bandit camp in order to make sure I have get it in time.
In spite of the name, Slow Poison cures the poison condition in Baldur's Gate series of games. Some spells are badly named due to legacy reasons. In the case of Slow Poison, the original spell didn't actually cure the poison but instead slowed it enough so that it wouldn't kill the victim before the party gets a real cure at a temple. That's why there is also a higher level spell called Neutralise Poison, which really did remove the poison completely in the original ADnD for the tabletop.