The training the elders had created for him had become suffocating for Elior.
The air in the Shadow Domain seemed denser with every passing minute, as if it refused to enter his lungs. Even so, Elior refused to give up. His determination was clear and absolute: his body would yield first, not his mind.
As time passed, his body's endurance began to break.
It stopped responding as it should. A burning sensation ran through every fiber of his muscles, an unnatural heat that seemed to emanate from within. It was so intense that he ended up taking off his shirt; the simple brush of fabric against his skin caused unbearable desperation.
His muscles trembled involuntarily.
Sweat ran down his back and face without stopping, while his shadow worked tirelessly, repairing torn muscle fibers, regenerating them again and again, forcing his body to rebuild faster than normal… though each time the process became slower.
Heavier.
More painful.
"What heat…" he muttered to himself, panting, his breathing uneven.
That was when Alice appeared.
She carried a pair of water bottles. She approached silently and handed them to him.
"Drink them carefully," she said gently.
"Thank you very much, Alice," Elior replied, offering a tired smile as he took one of them. "I am exhausted…"
"I can imagine," she answered, watching him closely. "You are completely soaked in sweat, and your muscles are still trembling."
"Yeah…" he admitted with a small laugh. "I guess I overdid it a little. Haha."
Alice watched him for a few more seconds before asking,
"Will you stay here today?"
"No, I cannot," Elior shook his head. "Tomorrow I have to go back to class, and I need to prepare my things."
He crouched down with some difficulty, picked his shirt up from the ground, and put it back on. Little by little, his body began to cool.
"See you tomorrow, Alice."
"Alright. Take care. And rest," she replied.
Elior raised his hand in farewell, smiling. Thanks to the harsh training, he no longer needed to meditate as before. It was enough to clearly visualize the place he wanted to go.
And in an instant…
He was already in Geheris.
The house was completely dark.
He took a couple of steps… and walked straight into the wall.
"Ouch!" he complained, rubbing his forehead.
He turned on the light, still holding his head, and then looked at the clock.
4 a.m.
His face went completely still when he saw the time.
"...What?"
He knew he had not trained that long… but it was easy to forget that the temporal flow between the Shadow Domain and Geheris was different.
He sighed.
He put water on to boil to make coffee. There was no point in sleeping anymore: in an hour and a half he had to get up.
While the coffee machine worked, he began organizing his things for school. The silence of the house, broken only by the mechanical sound of the machine, felt heavier than usual.
Everything had to be in order.
Exactly as he wanted it.
He cleaned and arranged certain objects over and over, up to five times in a row. He checked his backpack… closed it… opened it again… and checked once more. He needed to make sure everything was there.
While folding clothes, he noticed that his hands and arms were still trembling from the training.
And on top of that, he could no longer stand wearing the clothes he had trained in.
He went straight to the shower.
Winter made itself felt strongly; the impact of the icy water ran through his body like a shock, balancing the heat in his muscles.
When he got out, the first thing he did was grab his phone.
"Please… please… please… let Hina not have texted me…" he repeated in his mind.
He checked his messages.
Only one.
"I will stay with Seraphine. See you tomorrow at school."
Elior let out a sigh of relief.
Still holding the phone, he saw the posts: Hina and Seraphine sharing a meal, smiling, enjoying themselves together.
He could not look away from the photo and found himself staring at Seraphine longer than he expected.
A part of him was genuinely happy that they got along, that they had formed such a beautiful friendship.
But he did not include himself in that.
There was something he had known for a long time: those kinds of calm and relaxed days did not belong to him.
He put on his pajamas and, already decided not to sleep, grabbed one of his books about world myths. With coffee in hand, he began to read, waiting for the alarm to ring.
An hour passed too quickly.
When the alarm sound pulled him from his reading, Elior got dressed, ate breakfast, and left the house. He went straight to pick up Hina and Seraphine, knowing they would be late.
Especially Hina.
After all, she hated waking up early on weekdays.
The morning was freezing. Colder than usual.
Elior walked with his hands in his coat pockets while watching people head to work and school. Everyone seemed to have something pushing them to wake up each day and move forward. A reason. A purpose.
When he tried to think of his, the answer was clear… and painful at the same time.
It was not himself.
It was the people he loved.
The world he wanted to leave for them.
A serene place, as much as possible.
A world far from demons… and from insensitive angels who saw humans as inferior.
It did not take long for him to reach Seraphine's house, taking the train as usual. Standing in front of the door, he paused for a few seconds before knocking. He hesitated, and nerves took hold of him.
She did not know he was coming.
What if he made them uncomfortable?
What if they did not want to see him so early?
His heart began to beat fast, but in the end he decided.
Knock knock.
Two knocks were enough.
The door opened almost immediately.
"Elior…?" Seraphine said, her hair still wet, as if she had just gotten out of the shower. "What are you doing here so early? Come in, it is very cold outside."
"S-sorry for coming without warning," he replied. "I could not sleep… and I thought maybe you might need help waking up that sleepyhead."
"Honestly, yes. She said she would get up twenty minutes ago," Seraphine laughed. "Please help me. I cannot be late because we have an exam in the first class."
"It will be a pleasure," Elior said, taking off his coat.
"She is in my room."
"Perfect, excuse me."
Elior walked toward Seraphine's bedroom. On the floor, on a large mat, Hina slept deeply. Slightly drooling, completely surrendered to sleep.
Elior crouched carefully and took a picture of her face. He covered his mouth so he would not laugh out loud… until he remembered the real reason he was there.
He slipped one of his hands into his pocket, placed his left leg under the mat, and with surprising ease flipped it over.
"Huh?!"
Hina woke up as she hit the floor. The mat was on the other side, completely overturned. She looked around, confused… until her eyes landed on Elior, who could not contain his laughter.
"ELIOR!!" she shouted.
"Come on, sleepyhead," he replied. "Get up. There are classes. Remember you have an exam today. It is not convenient to be late."
"I will forgive you this time… just this time," Hina grumbled, immediately getting up when she realized the time.
She ran to the bathroom.
Elior returned to the living room and saw Seraphine in front of the mirror, brushing her hair delicately. He did not understand why he always ended up watching her. He could not look away.
He searched inside himself for some romantic feeling… but he could not find it.
Maybe it was only attraction.
Something superficial.
Something he was not willing to allow himself.
His path had to be walked alone, without that kind of bond.
Even though, deep down, he would have liked to have a love like his parents'.
But he had chosen a different path.
"Elior…" Seraphine said. "Elior?"
He did not respond. He was completely lost in his thoughts.
He shook his head.
"Do you want some coffee?" she asked.
"Actually… yes. Please."
"Come, sit with me. Let us wait for Hina."
The conversation was trivial, without real importance… but both of them got lost in each other's gaze. Seraphine wanted to know him more, to protect him. Elior, on the other hand, tried to understand what exactly drew him toward her.
Even so, he enjoyed the moment.
"Ready!" Hina suddenly appeared.
Without warning, she grabbed Elior's coffee… and drank it entirely in seconds.
Elior only sighed.
"Alright… shall we go then?"
The walk to school was cold, but they were laughing. Hina and Seraphine told him about their adventures from the previous day.
"You two really got motivated," Elior laughed. "But honestly, are you crazy? How can you go around the whole city and not buy anything?"
"If you call me crazy again, I will cut off what is down there," Hina replied with a threatening smile.
"Understood. I will never mention it again. I retract everything I just said."
Seraphine could not stop laughing. In Aetheris she never had fun like this. There everything was seriousness and rules; there was little to no room for enjoyment.
When they arrived at the school entrance, everyone noticed Elior's presence after weeks of absence.
"This is uncomfortable…" he whispered.
"You will have to get used to it," Seraphine said. "They will get over it."
She noticed the involuntary movements of Elior's hand. Without thinking, she stepped closer and placed her hand on his arm.
"Relax. You will be fine."
Elior looked at her… and smiled back.
"See you at recess," Hina said, walking away with Seraphine.
Elior headed toward his classroom but was intercepted by multiple voices.
"Elior!"
"How are you?"
"Are you better now?"
He smiled and thanked them for their concern… but the questions did not stop.
"Please, guys," Emily intervened. "Let him sit down. It is not comfortable to bombard him with questions when he just arrived."
Elior reached his seat somewhat overwhelmed by the pressure.
"I am glad you are back, Elior," Emily said. "If you need help catching up, just tell me."
He knew that if anyone could help him catch up, it was her.
"Thanks, Emily."
The morning classes passed normally. At the end of them, he was given a week to submit assignments and take pending exams.
Resigned, he left the teachers' room and looked for Emily. He found her in the courtyard, under a large tree, reading the same book he had read hours earlier.
"I did not know you liked those kinds of books."
Emily looked up, surprised. The book slipped from her hands.
"Uh… yes. My father is a historian. I have liked these kinds of books since I was little."
"It is interesting," Elior said. "Although… honestly, there are better ones."
"Well, that is true," Emily said with a smile.
"Can I sit?"
"Ah… no," she replied nervously. "I was going to the cafeteria. Do you want a coffee?"
"Sounds perfect. Hina drank mine this morning."
As they walked, Emily asked,
"I texted you these weeks… but you never replied."
"Really?" Elior checked his phone. "Sorry. I did not see it. Sometimes I completely forget I even have a phone."
"I assumed so. You never use it."
"I guess you are right," Elior admitted.
"So what did you do all this time?"
"Read and rest. Nothing interesting."
"Reading nowadays is already impressive, Elior. Do you know how expensive books are?"
The conversation felt almost scripted. Emily's nerves were evident, just like Elior's difficulty in asking for help.
"Hey… sorry for changing the subject abruptly, but if I do not do it now, I will not do it later. Would you lend me your class notes?"
"Of course," Emily said with a big smile. "Let us get coffee and I will give them to you."
From afar, Hina and Seraphine saw them together. Their classmates quickly began whispering.
"Are those not Elior and Emily? Are they dating?"
Seraphine could not look away.
"They are probably talking about classes," Hina said quickly, subtly nudging her shoulder and pointing at Seraphine.
Seraphine did not respond.
"Here," Elior said. "Thanks for the notes."
"You already read them… and understood everything that fast?"
"Yep. I guess it is one of my curses," Elior said with a laugh.
"You are impressive."
"It is not that much."
He sighed.
On the way back to class, they looked like a perfect couple walking through the school hallways. At the door, Elior saw Hina and Seraphine pass by. He greeted them… but only Hina responded.
Seraphine seemed upset, and Hina had noticed.
"Are you okay?" Hina asked later.
"Yes… I am just a little stressed."
"Sera… did it bother you to see Elior with Emily?"
"No!" Seraphine replied. "We are friends, nothing more."
"Sera… it is obvious you feel something for Elior."
"It does not make sense… None of this makes sense. Why? Why him? We barely know each other…"
"Sometimes we do not need to fully know someone to feel something," Hina said gently. "Believe me, I say that from experience. But you have to keep something in mind, Sera… Elior does not accept those kinds of feelings."
Seraphine fell silent.
As a friend, Hina continued, the best thing you can do… is forget what you feel for Elior. I do not want you to get hurt.
The rest of the classes went by without any rush. Everything was calm… at least for some.
Elior was about to leave school and head home when he ran into Seraphine and Hina in the hallway.
Hiiiii, Elior said, are we going together?
Of course, Hina replied without thinking twice.
Seraphine, on the other hand, did not even look at Elior, and he did not notice it.
Umm… I do not think so, Seraphine replied. I am going somewhere else. I am meeting a friend.
Hina's words kept echoing in Seraphine's mind, and she knew Elior would not accept those feelings.
Oh… alright, Elior said. Well, I hope you have fun, Sera.
Hina watched the situation in silence. She knew Seraphine was not going anywhere; she herself had told her. But apparently, Sera was still a little upset about what had happened earlier.
Then I will see you later, Hina said, breaking the awkward silence.
Sure, Seraphine replied with a smile, walking away without saying goodbye to Elior.
It was at that moment that Elior noticed something felt strange in the air.
Is Sera feeling okay? he asked Hina.
Yes, yes, she replied immediately, taking Elior by the arm as they started walking. She must just be stressed about finals.
Mmm… yeah, maybe, Elior replied. But she was doing well in class, right? She should not be that worried.
Well, some of us worry too much, Elior. That is how we are, Hina said in a teasing tone. Not all of us have that brain of yours.
Alright, alright, Elior replied with a smile as he walked beside her.
As they headed toward Hina's house, she spoke again.
By the way, Elior… what is going on with Emily, your classmate? she asked, lightly nudging his arm.
With Emily? Elior repeated. Absolutely nothing. Why do you ask?
Ah… it is just that everyone saw you together during break, laughing, Hina said. Most people thought you were dating.
What? Are you telling me people jump to conclusions just because they see two people laughing and walking together? Elior replied. Well, apparently they need more psychological help than I do.
Hina laughed, but then she grew serious.
But seriously… do you not feel anything for her? Or for anyone? Most of us, at least, feel some kind of attraction toward someone. Hormones go crazy.
Mmm… I do not know, honestly, Elior said, frowning as he thought. I know I do not like anyone. I mean… Emily is very beautiful, I cannot deny that. But beyond that, feeling something… no.
And what about Seraphine? Hina asked quickly.
Sera…? Elior repeated.
Suddenly, his mind filled with small moments they had shared. Moments when he could not fully control himself. He sighed and answered quickly to get out of the situation.
He gave a faint smile.
Sera is somewhat special. I like being with her, and she is beautiful… but I do not know her that well. And it is not like I feel anything for her. Although I feel like she is always hiding something.
A slight discomfort settled in his chest.
Mmm… I see, Hina said. But I will tell you this from the heart, Elior. I know this kind of thing is hard for you, but do not close yourself off from understanding those feelings more.
Mayb…
I do not know, Hina, Elior interrupted. I have a thousand more important things to worry about than sentimental stuff.
Hina sighed, resigned. She knew the answer, but she had wanted to try anyway. Still, she felt a bit of relief and curiosity when she noticed that, when mentioning Sera, Elior had said he did not know her well and that smile had given something away. That was enough for now.
Alright, I will not keep pushing the topic, Hina said.
No, no. Why would you change it? Elior replied. What about you?
That is private, Hina replied as she kept walking.
Hey, we both tell each other things, Elior insisted. Are you already seeing someone?
Eh! No, no! Not at all, Hina said, turning red as a tomato.
Before, when we were kids, you told me everything, Elior continued. Now you are going to leave some things out, huh?
What?! Hina replied.
Okay, better not. I do not want details about that, Elior said, laughing. But at least, and please, take care of yourself. In every sense… because I do not feel like becoming an uncle.
Idiot! Hina shouted as she hit him on the head.
Elior only laughed harder.
Who would have thought… you are moving pretty fast, whisper.
Elior, Hina whispered, shut up or I will hit you.
Alright, alright, he replied, still laughing.
But suddenly, Elior's mood changed.
As they walked, he could not help noticing a group of guys harassing some kids.
Come on, Hina, Elior said, taking her hand as they approached.
Maybe you should take off those ridiculous sneakers, brat, one of the bullies said. Or maybe you should cut your hair.
Laughter echoed around them.
The boy pulled his hand away from the bully who was mocking his little brother.
Come on, one of the thugs said. They are just five brats. Let us hang them from a tree.
Yeah, yeah, good idea, the other three said.
Just as they were about to grab the child, Elior abruptly grabbed the bully's hand.
The joke is over.
Let go of me, idiot! the bully shouted, realizing he could not move his arm.
Maybe I should break your hand so you and your friends learn not to mess with kids… or anyone.
Hina, Elior said without looking away, can you get the kids away from here, please?
For some reason, the other bullies were frozen. Their bodies would not move. Unconsciously, Elior had hooked their shadows to his own, preventing them from moving.
Alright, Hina said. Come on, kids, step back a little.
The boy could not stop staring at Elior, watching him defend them, standing in front of four thugs without any fear.
Elior tightened his grip. The bully groaned in pain.
AAHHG, BASTARD! the bully screamed.
What? Does your arm hurt?
Hina realized Elior was using too much strength.
Elior, that is enough, Hina intervened.
Elior came back to himself, released the guy and shoved him to the ground.
Tell me, is it funny to mock those who cannot defend themselves?
The man looked at him in terror. Something in his instincts screamed that Elior was dangerous. He began to back away, but Elior stepped forward.
The others, even with that instinctive fear, rushed toward him.
Elior blocked and dodged their weak punches easily, until he struck one in the stomach, leaving him breathless and unconscious.
One ran away. Another kept attacking.
Careful, weakling, Elior said while dodging. Do not get tired on me.
He smiled mockingly.
He got bored. He grabbed the guy's arm and struck his elbow, breaking the entire arm.
At that moment, the one who had fled returned with a thick metal bar and attacked from behind.
The blow was stopped by Hina, who tackled him and threw him to the ground.
Are you seriously attacking from behind? Hina said. How brave you are…
Hina would not stay out of it either. She did not like guys who abused their strength against the weak. As the man got up, Hina dodged his blows and delivered consecutive strikes to his body, quickly immobilizing him.
Elior glanced aside, impressed by how well Hina fought. He had only taught her the basics; apparently, she trained on her own.
Knowing he did not need to worry about her, Elior grabbed the other man by the neck, lifted him and dragged him.
Now you are going to apologize to the kids.
Hina threw the metal bar away. She had already finished with the other one.
Oh nooo! Hina shouted.
What is it? Elior asked.
I tore my uniform! she shouted. My mother will punish me!
She kicked the man in the stomach repeatedly.
It is all your fault, bastard!
Elior turned back to the other one.
Now you. Apologize.
Soo… sorry… the bully said.
The kids looked at him angrily. One of them stepped forward and punched him in the face.
Elior looked at him in surprise. The boy projected almost the same energy as Hina, which made him smile.
Elior grabbed the man by his clothes.
If I see you bothering someone again, I will not be gentle at all. Understood?
Yes, yes! Please, let me go!
Elior threw him to the ground.
Get lost.
Then he crouched in front of the kids.
You did very well. Never be afraid of those who are bigger. You did right defending each other. Now go… do not worry your parents and tell them what happened.
Thank you, sir, one of the kids said.
Elior's face turned pale.
Sir…? What do you mean sir? he said. I am not that old…
He sighed.
Elior! Hina shouted. Can you please sew my uniform skirt? I beg you!
Mmm… nope, Elior replied, turning around.
Elior, please! My mother will punish me. And it is all your fault! I got into the fight to help you.
Well, I did not ask for help, he replied. You should have let them hit me with the metal bar.
Clown! Hina shouted.
Then she changed tactics.
Okay, let us do this. If you fix my skirt, I will buy you burgers. No! Better yet, I will buy you that chicken… the one you like.
Elior stopped in his tracks.
The crispy chicken from the place near his house was his greatest weakness.
Mmm… deal, he said without thinking twice. Let us go to my house so you can change.
But I do not have clothes there…
You can wear something of mine. Like always.
Yesss! Hina shouted happily, walking beside him.
Everything was calm again.
Hina had already changed, and Elior had fixed her skirt, leaving it as good as new. She was already at her house, while Elior still had one last stop before he could be free to train.
He had promised not to miss his sessions.
So, even if he did not want to, he went.
There was something about the sessions with the psychologist that triggered in him an almost uncontrollable anxiety.
Elior knew she would not judge him for anything, but even so, he could not face the truth about what his world really was. Therefore, he felt the therapy was not effective for him.
On his way to the appointment, he could not help looking at the few families he passed by.
Children laughing with their parents.
It was a beautiful scene… to say the least.
But for Elior, it was an insult.
As if the world itself insisted on rubbing in his face everything he had lost. And even though he knew those children were not to blame, he could not help feeling jealous. Wishing to be in their place. To have something so simple and so unreachable for him.
Lost in his thoughts, he walked almost on autopilot to the office.
Dissociation was a big part of his daily life.
When he came back to himself, he was already sitting on the office couch, with the psychologist in front of him.
They were talking… but Elior did not know about what. He just answered. He did not understand the topic. He did not know when it had started or how he had gotten there.
Tell me, Elior, the psychologist asked in a gentle voice. How has your return to school been? You went back today, right?
Yes… I went back today, he replied. Everything has been fine. I mean, the same as always, so nothing special. I need to catch up on some assignments and exams I have pending… but that is all.
He answered calmly, but his hands betrayed him. He nervously played with his fingers.
Mmm… I understand, the psychologist said. And do those assignments and exams cause you any stress or anxiety? Do you feel prepared to handle them?
Honestly, yes, Elior replied. They are not a problem for me. Not at all. It is not complicated.
As he spoke, he reached out to adjust the tissue box for the eighth time.
Noticing the psychologist's gaze, he shifted in his seat.
Sorry…
Do not worry about that, Elior, she replied. Tell me… it has been a while since we last saw each other. Is there something specific, something you urgently need to talk about?
Elior needed to let out a thousand things.
But at the same time, he could not.
His mouth shut itself, refusing to utter even the slightest word about what he was living.
Honestly… no, he said. There is nothing I feel I cannot control.
I understand, the psychologist nodded. And what if we talk about the argument you had earlier with some guys that ended in a fight?
The question triggered an immediate reaction.
Panic.
Elior's fingers began moving more forcefully, pressing against each other. His left leg moved involuntarily, betraying his state.
They were the ones who started it, he replied quickly, almost justifying himself. They were bothering some kids.
The psychologist listened carefully.
I understand, Elior. Tell me… did you give them a chance to realize they were doing something wrong?
Elior looked away. He avoided answering.
I saw that fight, she continued. And from my point of view, although I could be wrong, you seemed to enjoy it. That is why I would rather ask you… how were you feeling at that moment? What do you remember? What feeling prevailed at that instant?
Elior looked at his hands.
He did not know what to answer.
I did not enjoy it… he finally said. I cannot enjoy hitting guys that weak. But I will not deny that I liked seeing them on the ground.
He took a deep breath.
What they did was wrong. I hate people who take advantage of others. Someone had to stop them, while it was still possible.
His voice began to rise.
People walked by… and just watched. Or recorded with their phones. Society makes me sick.
He clenched his fists.
They start believing any act is worth recording instead of helping those who need it. They wait for someone else to help…
He lifted his head.
It does not surprise me that others see us as the weak ones.
The psychologist looked at him, moved.
What exactly do you mean by that? she asked.
It was the first time she had seen such an angry version of Elior.
Elior raised his gaze and held it steady.
One day the world will truly know where we live. I just hope it is not too late.
There was silence.
One day I will let out everything I have inside, he continued. But it is not the time. And I truly appreciate that you want to help me… but I am cursed. I cannot… nor do I want to be saved.
He breathed with difficulty.
I only long for the day when I can meet my family again and finally rest. But everything will happen in its own time. I still have things to do.
So, please, do not misunderstand me, he added. I am not saying I will kill myself. I have reasons to keep going… and there are still things I need to heal from. I know that.
After listening to him, the psychologist spoke.
It is good that, for the first time in all these years, you have released part of the anger you carry inside, Elior. It is a big step forward.
Then she asked:
But tell me… what is that which the world will truly know? I did not understand that part.
Elior smiled faintly.
The foundations of the world as such are a farce, he said. I just hope the world never comes to know everything I know. They would be better off that way.
The psychologist took notes as he spoke.
I know that some time ago, in one of our sessions, we saw that emotions are not bad. That they must be accepted as they are. That they serve a purpose within us.
He paused.
But I cannot access others, no matter how much I try. I feel numb inside. And when I do manage to feel something… it is pure anger or sadness.
He closed his eyes.
But maybe that is what I was born for. Feeling that will make me grow… as I have until now.
The session ended after that conversation in a tense atmosphere.
Elior apologized if he had said anything out of line, but affirmed that this was the world around them. Nothing made sense.
He left.
Understanding that, if he wanted peace, he would have to fight to find it.
Fulfill his goals. Endure.
It would be difficult.
But it was clear.
He would fulfill the favor he owed to Death.