Chapter 52: Part 4 — The Collab from Hell & The Great Milk Meltdown
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Ten minutes after the Golden Spatula was hoisted, the stadium's celebratory cheers felt like a distant hum. Backstage, the atmosphere didn't just 'shift'—it curdled. We were all there: the usual Chaos Crew, plus a few guests who looked like they were attending a funeral for their own sanity.
"Seriously, where's the Charge-Bolt?" Mina asked, her pink skin sizzling with a few sparks of impatience. She poked a literal hole in the air, peering into a pocket dimension to see if Kaminari was hiding. "He missed the victory meal! That's like... against the laws of Shonen!"
"I found them," Tokoyami's voice drifted from the shadows of the equipment lockers, sounding like he'd just discovered a crime scene in a Poe poem. "But be warned... the vibe is grim. Darker than the abyss on a Tuesday."
We followed the bird-boy to a heavy steel door. From inside, a rhythmic [THWACK] echoed, followed by a series of whimpers so pathetic they could only be registered by a specialized 'Denki-Suffer-Meter.'
[CREEEAK—!]
The door swung open. Kyoka Jirou stood there. Her earphone jacks were whipping through the air like caffeinated cobras. Her face was half-buried in shadow, her eyes glowing with a cold, digital fury. She was holding a smartphone like a thermal detonator and a whip made of woven audio cables in the other.
Behind her, Kaminari was vibrating in a corner, his brain currently short-circuited into a 'Wheeee' state of pure terror.
"Oh. You're here," Jirou rasped, her voice dropping into a register usually reserved for vengeful ghosts. "Good. The jury needs to see Exhibit A. Especially the girls."
The "Chaos Girls"—Aqua, Ochaco, Himiko, Mina, Mei, Momo, Toru, and even Uncle Nokotan—huddled around the glowing screen. We boys (Me, Izuku, Bakugo, and Tokoyami) crowded around the trembling Denki.
"Kacchan, what did he do?" Izuku whispered, his notebook poised for a scandal.
"I don't know," Bakugo growled, sparks dancing on his knuckles, "but if it doesn't involve a felony, I'm going to be disappointed."
"Watch," Jirou hissed. She hit Play.
The Video: [COLLAB] COOKING WITH SANJI — "The Aesthetic Tasting"
[High-Octane Phonk Beat Starts: BASS BOOSTED]
The editing was aggressive. We're talking fast cuts, 120fps slow-motion, and colors so vibrant they'd give a rainbow a seizure.
[TEXT ON SCREEN: WELCOME TO THE ALL-BLUE KITCHEN]
The camera panned across a luxury kitchen that looked like it cost more than UA's budget. There stood Sanji, his blonde hair perfectly swooshed, a cigarette dangling from his lips as he adjusted his cufflinked sleeves. Beside him, leaning against the counter with a "Cool Guy" smirk that defied the laws of smugness, was ME.
In the background, Kaminari and Mineta were doing a synchronized 'Hype Man' dance.
"Today," Sanji's voice crooned, sounding like velvet poured over gravel, "we have a very special tasting. A delicate selection for the refined palate."
The camera zoomed in on six crystal glasses. They weren't filled with juice. They were filled with pristine, sparkling white milk. The labels appeared in a stylized, graffiti-font overlay:
[LABEL 1: NAMI-SWAN]
[LABEL 2: ROBIN-CHWAN]
[LABEL 3: CREATION-MOMO]
[LABEL 4: PUNK-ROCK JIROU]
In the video, Kaminari stepped forward with a manic, 'KingChris' glint in his eyes. He grabbed the JIROU glass. [WHOOSH!] The background turned into a neon-purple concert hall.
"The resonance," Video-Denki said, taking a slow-mo sip. A 'Milk Mustache' appeared and sparkled [PING!]. "It's got a rebellious, high-frequency finish. 10/10. Absolute banger."
Then, Video-Sunny (that's me, looking way too cool for a cartoon) reached out. My white-gloved hand blurred as I grabbed the MOMO glass. I took a methodical sip. The camera did a 360-degree 'Matrix' spin around my face.
"Elegant," Video-Sunny murmured, his voice echoed with a deep reverb. "Sophisticated. It tastes like high-class Earl Grey and tactical genius. Truly a vintage selection for a more... intellectual era."
Mineta, looking like he'd ascended to a higher plane of existence, grabbed the ROBIN glass and began chugging it while weeping tears of pure, unadulterated joy. Sanji, meanwhile, was delicately sipping the NAMI glass, surrounded by floating, pulsating cartoon hearts.
But then, the beat dropped. [THUD-THUD-BASS]
Two secret glasses sat at the end. Their labels were redacted with black bars. Mineta, driven by a primal, perverted instinct, snatched both and sprinted for the exit.
"HEY!" Sanji yelled, his leg bursting into blue flames [FWOOSH!]. "THOSE ARE FOR THE PROS, YOU GRAPE RAT!"
But Video-Sunny stepped in front of him, putting a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Let him go, Sanji-kun. He just stole the 'Zoro' and the 'Kaido' samples. The narrative will handle the rest."
The video cut to Mineta in the distance. He took a massive gulp from the ZORO glass. Suddenly, his hair turned moss-green, he grew two extra arms, and he collapsed under the weight of "Pure, Unfiltered Masculinity." [CRITICAL HIT!]
The camera panned back. Sanji winked at the lens. "I have more stock, Sunny-kun. For the fans."
He pulled out a fresh row: [LABELS: AQUA, MINA, TORU, HIMIKO]
[VIDEO ENDS WITH A LOUD "DING!" AND A SHOT OF SUNNY GIVING THE THUMBS UP.]
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
The silence in the backstage room was so heavy it was actually beginning to bend the floorboards.
I stood there, still holding my glass of 'normal' milk from the judging table. My white-glove began to sweat—which shouldn't be physically possible for a cartoon. I looked at the girls. I looked at Momo, whose face had transitioned from 'Shock' to 'Crimson' to a color usually reserved for the core of a dying star.
"Wait," I said, my voice cracking like a dry reed. "That was... that was just a collab! A narrative skit! High production value! Think of the views, ladies!"
"SUNNY. MIDORIYA."
The girls of the Chaos Crew formed a semi-circle. It wasn't just anger. This was a Global Threat Level: Toon-Slaying event.
Aqua was shaking, her blue hair glowing with a holy, watery wrath that threatened to flood the stadium. "You... you took my divine essence... and put it in a glass... NEXT TO A PINK ALIEN?!"
Mina had literal acid-steam pouring off her horns. "Sunny-kun... did you say I had a 'zesty' finish? Because I'm about to give you a zesty finish to your life!"
Momo was already mid-construction. A giant, heavy-duty wooden paddle—reinforced with titanium—was sliding out of her shoulder. Her eyes were burning with the fire of a thousand betrayed honor students. "Sunny-san... the 'Momo Milk'? You drank it... with Sanji?"
Himiko was twirling a knife, but she wasn't blushing. "Sunny-kun... if you wanted my 'milk,' you should have just asked. Now... I think I need to see if you're strawberry-filled on the inside."
Toru was invisible, but the air around her was vibrating so hard it was causing a localized earthquake. "I'm going to punch you so hard you'll become visible and I'll become a memory!"
Even Nokotan looked at me with a look of pure, unadulterated disappointment. "Haiyaa, Sunny-kun. Why you drink girl milk? Why not Deer Milk? Deer Milk have more calcium! Uncle Nokotan give you 0 out of 10 for loyalty! Fuiyoh! You have no soul!"
"LADIES! COMPADRES! FELLOW FRANCHISE LEADERS!" I yelled, backing toward the door. My legs were already turning into a blur of 'Running-In-Place' smoke. "It was a KingChris edit! It was for the fans! It was—"
[THWACK—!]
Jirou's earphone jack plugged into the main power grid. The speakers in the room exploded with a 200-decibel frequency of pure "DEATH TO THE GAG-BOY."
"Izuku! Kacchan! Help a brother out!" I screamed.
I looked at the boys.
Izuku was currently busy trying to phase through the solid concrete floor, his hands over his ears. "I wasn't in the video! I don't know this man! I'm an only child! I've always been an only child!"
Tokoyami had retreated into a corner, wrapped in Dark Shadow like a gothic burrito. "The abyss does not offer sanctuary to those who partake in the Dairy of Betrayal."
And Bakugo? Bakugo was on the floor. He wasn't fighting. He was wheezing. He was laughing so hard his face was turning purple.
"YOU... YOU MADE THE GRAPE-PERV DRINK THE ZORO MILK!" Bakugo roared, pounding the floor with a fist. "THAT'S PEAK! THAT'S THE HIGHEST FORM OF ART! DIE, YOU GAG-SKELETON! DIE WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE!"
I turned back. The girls were inches away.
"Nemuri-chan!" I yelled, spotting Midnight in the doorway. "Save your favorite student! Save our date!"
Midnight slowly folded her newspaper into a dense, heavy-duty baton. She looked at the video. She looked at me. A dark, predatory smile spread across her face.
"Sunny," she purred, "I think our 'first date' just got moved to the ICU. And I'm the head nurse."
"Wait! No! I have a sequel! A TEA TASTING WITH TRAFALGAR LAW—!"
[CRASH! BASH! ZAP! BOING! HONK!]
The screen went black as a giant, cartoonish dust cloud filled the hallway. Out of the chaos, we could hear the sound of a rubber chicken being used as a blunt instrument and Aqua wailing about her royalties.
[CLACK!]
[AND CUT!]