Chapter 24: The First Grade Godfather
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Listen here, see?
First Grade ain't just a grade—it's a racket. It's a jungle of juice boxes and nap mats where the strong survive and the weak get their crackers stolen at recess. And my little sister, the newest Midoriya on the block, was walkin' into the lion's den.
I was currently floatin' three inches off the kitchen floor, wearin' a double-breasted suit that screamed "Professional Menace" and stirrin' a cup of coffee with a pencil that turned into a lollipop every time I blinked.
"Eri-chan," I said, talkin' out the side of my mouth while I adjusted her little red backpack. "You gotta remember the rules of the yard. If a kid tries to take your crayons, you tell 'em they gotta talk to the Boss. You give 'em the 'Brooklyn Stare.' You show 'em that a Midoriya don't fold for no nobody, capiche?"
Eri looked at me, her eyes big and bright, her hair tied in two messy buns that Toga had spent forty minutes perfecting. She looked like a million bucks—if a million bucks was made of sparkles and candied apples.
"Capiche, Sunny-nii," she chirped, tryin' to imitate my scowl. It was so cute that a literal 'Heart' icon popped out of the toaster and hit the ceiling with a [DING].
"That's my girl," I grinned.
[The Escort Detail]
The walk to Aldera Elementary wasn't a walk. It was a tactical deployment.
I'd organized the Chaos Crew into a perimeter that would make a Secret Service agent weep with jealousy.
At the front, Izuku was leadin' the way, carryin' a map of the school he'd annotated with every possible "Fun Zone" and "Hazardous Swing Set."
On the left flank, Bakugo was stompin' along, hands in his pockets, lookin' at every passin' civilian like they were plottin' a heist. "If any of these extras so much as breathes on the kid, I'm blowin' the school into the next zip code!" he barked.
"Quiet, Boom-Boom Boy!" Aqua yelled from the right, holdin' a bottle of 'Goddess-Blessed Sparkling Apple Juice.' "I have been awake for three hours purifying the sidewalk! Do you know how many germs are in a public school? It's a miracle humanity hasn't gone extinct!"
Mei Hatsume was hoverin' overhead on a pair of jet-boots that sounded like a blender full of glass. "Don't worry, Eri-chan! I've planted forty-seven 'Safety Babies' around the playground! If a bully approaches, the slide will automatically convert into a non-lethal catapult!"
"Mei, please don't launch the children," Izuku pleaded, though he was busy adjustin' Eri's "Anti-Gravity Sneakers" I'd built for her.
Toga was floatin' in a shadow right next to Eri, lookin' like a very fashionable ghost. "If anyone makes you cry, Eri-chan, just tell me. I have a very special 'Red Paint' I can use to decorate their lockers."
"No paint, Toga!" I barked, snappin' my fingers. [POP!] A giant sign appeared above us that said: STRICTLY WHOLESOME VIBES ONLY.
[The School Arrival]
We reached the gate, and the scene was a riot.
The teachers were already starin'. They'd heard the rumors. They'd seen the news. They knew that the "Natural Disaster" known as Sunny Midoriya had a sister now.
I stepped up to the front office, my Brooklyn accent dialed up to eleven.
"Listen here, Teach," I said to the principal, a man who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else on Earth. I leaned over his desk, my shadow stretchin' out until it covered the entire wall behind him. "This here is Eri. She's the light of my life, the star of the show, the big cheese. You treat her right, and the physics in this buildin' stay nice and predictable. You let a bully tease her? Well... let's just say I've always wondered what a school looks like when it's made of Jell-O."
The principal swallowed hard, his glasses slidin' down his nose. "W-we have a very strict anti-bullying policy, Mr. Midoriya..."
"Good," I chirped, snappin' back into my "Funny Sunny" shape with a loud [BOING!]. I pulled a giant bowl of gold-foil chocolates out of my pocket. "Here. Distribute these to the faculty. They're 'Patience Pills.' They taste like caramel and make you forget that the laws of gravity are currently optional."
[The Classroom Chaos]
We escorted Eri to her desk. The other kids were starin' at us like we were aliens.
"Eri-chan," Tokoyami muttered, Dark Shadow emergin' from his cloak to hand her a tiny, gothic-looking friendship bracelet. "May the darkness protect your nap time."
"And if you get bored," Denki added, givin' her a high-five that crackled with harmless gold sparks, "just imagine everyone is wearin' clown shoes. It makes the math go faster."
Jirou leaned down and handed Eri a pair of tiny, pink headphones. "For when it gets too loud, kid. Or when Sunny starts singin'. Trust me."
Eri sat at her desk, lookin' around at the colorful posters and the blocks. She looked... happy. Truly happy.
I felt a tug on my heartstrings—the real ones, not the cartoon ones.
"Alright, crew! We're blowin' this joint!" I announced, wavin' my white gloves. "Let the kid have her moment! We'll be watchin' from the satellite!" (I hadn't actually launched a satellite, but Mei was already workin' on the blueprints).
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
As we walked out, I saw a familiar black car parked across the street.
Aizawa was leanin' against it, lookin' at us through his goggles. Next to him, a group of plainclothes police officers were takin' notes.
"Havin' fun, Grumpy?" I yelled, walkin' over to him while my legs turned into a pair of giant, telescopic stilts so I could look him in the eye.
"Midoriya," Aizawa sighed, rubbin' his temples. "The Commission is havin' a fit. You can't just 'escort' a child to school with a squad of the most dangerous middle-schoolers in Japan. It looks like a mob hit."
"A mob hit? Pshaw!" I waved a hand, pullin' a giant red 'CENSORED' bar out of the air and placin' it over the police officers' notebooks. "It's a family outing, see? And tell the Big-Wigs to relax. Nezu's already signed off on the 'Sibling Protection Protocol.' If they got a problem, they can take it up with the Mouse."
Aizawa looked at the school, then at me. He saw Eri through the window, laughin' with a little girl who had pigtails.
"She looks better," he admitted, his voice softenin' for a fraction of a second.
"She's a Midoriya now, Aizawa," I said, my voice dropping the Brooklyn act for a moment of genuine weight. "She's under the protection of the Toon. And in this script... the kid always gets a happy ending."
I snapped my fingers, and a giant, inflatable "Mission Accomplished" banner appeared over the school.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," I chirped, turnin' into a literal blur of motion. "I have a date with a unicycle and a grocery store. We're havin' Tacos tonight, and I need to find a taco shell that doesn't crumble under the weight of destiny!"
I zoomed off, the Chaos Crew followin' in a trail of explosions, sparkles, and laughter.
Behind us, Eri waved from the window. The heroes were mad, the government was confused, but for one little girl, the world was finally colorful.