Chapter 4: The Kindergarten Catastrophe and the Goddess of Puddles
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
[A/N: A little bit of chaos, a little bit of serious, and a lot of fun. Hope you guys like this one!]
There is a specific kind of silence that only exists right before a cartoon anvil falls on someone's head. It's heavy, expectant, and smells slightly of gunpowder.
We were at the Bakugo household. Our mothers—Inko, Mitsuki, and Sato-san (Aqua's mom)—were sitting at a low table sipping green tea. They looked peaceful. They looked like they believed they were in control of their lives.
Poor, delusional women.
"I'm telling you, I'm not a... a sun-dair-ay!" Bakugo roared, his palms popping with enough sparks to light a small campfire. His face was a shade of red usually reserved for emergency flares.
I leaned back on a pile of cushions, except I wasn't sitting on them—I was hovering about two inches above them, hands behind my head. "Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan. The denial is the first sign. You've got the 'angry' part down. Now you just need to accidentally give Izuku a compliment while looking at your shoes and the transformation will be complete."
"I'LL BLAST YOUR GRIN INTO NEXT WEEK!"
"See?" Aqua chimed in. She was currently busy trying to turn her tea into a miniature whirlpool using her finger. She looked up, her blue eyes sparkling with pure, unadulterated mischief. "He's such a Tsundere Boom Boom Boy. Should we call you that from now on? Tsun-Tsun-Boom-Boy?"
"SHUT UP, YOU USELESS PUDDLE!"
"Kacchan, please!" Izuku jumped in, waving his hands frantically. He looked like he was trying to put out a forest fire with a water pistol. "Sunny's just joking! I mean, you're not that mean! You're actually really cool and you always lead us, so that's basically like being a nice person deep down, right?"
The silence that followed Izuku's "help" was deafening.
Bakugo's head didn't just turn red; it started to emit actual steam. A literal steam-whistle sound (PHREEEEEEEE!) echoed through the room.
"You... you think I'm NICE?!" Bakugo shook with the force of a tectonic plate.
"Oh, good job, Izu-chan," I whispered, pulling a tiny fire extinguisher out of my ear. "You just poured high-octane gasoline on a sun. We're officially at 'Critical Meltdown' levels."
"I'M NOT NICE! I'M THE STRONGEST! I'M A VILLAIN-CRUSHING KING!" Bakugo lunged for Izuku, but I simply reached out and elongated my arm—stretching it like a piece of chewed bubblegum—to pluck Izuku out of the way.
"Not today, King of Tantrums," I chuckled.
(Inko Midoriya POV)
I watched my sons. Izuku was currently being swung around in a circle by Sunny's noodle-like arm, giggling frantically, while Mitsuki's son was literally vibrating with rage. Next to them, Aqua was wailing because she had accidentally splashed tea on her dress and was demanding a "divine dry-cleaning."
I took a long, slow sip of tea. I didn't even flinch when a small explosion charred the edge of the rug.
"Mitsuki," I said, my voice eerily calm. "I think we need to face reality."
Mitsuki Bakugo rubbed her temples, a vein throbbing in her forehead. "I can't do it anymore, Inko. My house smells like nitroglycerin, and I found a giant wooden mallet in the dishwasher this morning. I don't even own a mallet."
"I found a school of goldfish in my bathtub," Sato-san added, looking exhausted. "Aqua told me they were her 'disciples.' I just wanted to take a shower."
We exchanged a look. It was a silent pact. A treaty of survival.
"Kindergarten," we said in unison.
"The UA-affiliated nursery?" Mitsuki suggested. "They have specialized teachers for high-power quirks."
"They have a reinforced playground," I noted.
"They have a bar for the parents down the street," Sato-san whispered.
"It's decided," Mitsuki slammed her hand on the table. "Tomorrow morning. We drop them off, we walk away, and we do not look back, even if we hear the sounds of a collapsing building."
The Next Day
The walk to kindergarten was a parade of madness.
The three of us moms walked in the front, talking about recipes and the latest news, pretending we didn't hear the chaos behind us.
"I'LL BE THE LEADER! I'M THE CAPTAIN!" Bakugo was shouting, marching with a military stride.
"Eh, captain is a bit mid-tier for me," I heard Sunny drawl. "I'm thinking more 'Creative Director' or 'Grand Overseer of Gags.'"
"I'M THE GODDESS!" Aqua shrieked. "I should be carried on a litter! Sunny, turn into a chair and carry me!"
"Request denied, Bluey. I'm currently a kite."
I sneaked a look back. Sunny was indeed a kite. He had flattened his body into a diamond shape and was floating ten feet in the air, his tail being held by a very confused Izuku.
"Should we stop him?" Sato-san asked.
"Is he hurting anyone?" I asked.
"No."
"Then he's a kite," Mitsuki sighed. "Just keep walking."
(Ms. Hina - Kindergarten Teacher POV)
I have been a teacher for fifteen years. I have handled kids who can breathe fire, kids who turn into giant boulders, and one memorable toddler who could swap people's souls with their lunchboxes. I thought I was prepared for anything.
I was wrong.
The gates opened, and three mothers appeared. They looked... relieved. Almost suspiciously happy.
"Good morning, Ms. Hina!" the green-haired one said, handing me a clipboard. "This is Izuku and Sunny. Izuku is very sweet. Sunny is... Sunny."
"And this is Katsuki," the blonde one said, shoving a spiky-haired boy toward me. "He's a lot. Just use the hose on him if he gets too hot."
"And Aqua," the third mother said. "She thinks she's a god. Just give her some juice and she'll be fine."
The mothers didn't wait for a response. They turned and bolted. I swear I saw the blonde one do a victory lap.
I looked down at the four children.
Izuku was staring at me with big, green eyes, clutching a notebook. "Hello, Miss! I want to be a hero!"
"That's lovely, Izuku," I smiled.
Bakugo sneered. "I'm the strongest. Remember that, teach."
Aqua was looking at the ceiling. "This palace is underwhelming. Where are my offerings?"
And then there was Sunny.
He wasn't standing on the floor. He was leaning against the air, wearing a tiny detective's trench coat and fedora, holding a magnifying glass to my shoe.
"Hmm," he muttered, his voice sounding like a 1940s noir narrator. "Dust on the laces. Slight scuff on the heel. You've had a long morning, doll. Don't worry, the 'Kid-tastrophe' crew is here to liven things up. HONK."
He poked my nose. It made a loud, rubbery sound.
I blinked. "Okay... children, let's go inside for circle time."
The chaos didn't start gradually. It was an explosion.
During circle time, I asked the children to introduce themselves and their quirks.
Bakugo stood up and let off a series of deafening pops. "I'm Katsuki Bakugo! My quirk is Explosion, and I'm gonna be Number One!"
"I'm Aqua!" the blue-haired girl stood up, tossing her hair. "I am the Goddess of Water! Watch as I perform a miracle!"
She pointed her hand at the class's pet hamster cage. SPLOSH. A gallon of water erupted from her palm, soaking the poor hamster and half the front row.
"Aqua! No!" I cried, grabbing a towel.
"It's a holy bath!" she wailed as I dragged her back to her seat. "He should be grateful!"
"My turn!" Sunny hopped up. He didn't walk to the center; he just stretched his torso across the room while his legs stayed in his seat. "I'm Sunny. My quirk is... well, the doctor says it's 'Elastic Mutation,' but between you and me? I'm just drawn this way."
He reached into his chest—literally into his ribcage—and pulled out a giant, glowing neon sign that read APPLAUSE.
The other kids started clapping. I felt a migraine forming.
"Now, class, it's time for arts and crafts," I said, trying to regain control. "We are going to use safety scissors to—"
SNIP-SNIP-SNIP-SNIP!
In the blink of an eye, the entire room was filled with paper snowflakes. Millions of them. They weren't just on the tables; they were hanging from the ceiling, stuck to the windows, and woven into my hair.
Sunny was standing in the middle of the room, holding twenty pairs of scissors between his fingers, his arms moving so fast they were a blur.
"Needs more glitter," he remarked, and suddenly a giant bucket of glitter appeared from the ceiling, dumping itself over the entire classroom.
"SUNNY!" I screamed.
"Relax, teach! It's biodegradable!"
By lunch, I was hiding in the supply closet, taking deep breaths. I could hear Bakugo yelling, Aqua crying because her juice wasn't 'divine' enough, and a series of loud BOINGS that suggested someone was using the tables as trampolines.
I stepped back out.
"Okay! Nap time!" I announced, my voice trembling. "Everyone on their mats!"
"I don't need a mat," Sunny said. He laid down on the floor, and with a sound like a deflating balloon (PFFFFT), he turned into a literal rug. "Izuku, you can sleep on me. I'm memory foam today."
Izuku, the only sane child in the room, curled up on his brother-rug.
"I'M NOT SLEEPING!" Bakugo roared. "KINGS DON'T NAP!"
"Oh, shut up, Tsundere-kun," Aqua snapped, laying on her own mat and tossing a handful of water at him. "You're making a scene."
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"
Bakugo lunged for her. I moved to intercept, but Sunny—still a rug—suddenly grew a giant, gloved hand from his center and caught Bakugo by the ankle.
"Safety first, Kacchan," the rug said.
Bakugo face-planted into the floor. But instead of a 'thud,' there was a SQUISH. Sunny had turned the floor beneath Bakugo into a giant marshmallow.
Bakugo struggled, his hands sinking into the fluffy white substance. "I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL EXPLODE THIS WHOLE SCHOOL!"
"Can't hear you over the sound of my snoring," Sunny remarked.
I sat at my desk and put my head in my hands. The room was half-covered in glitter, half-covered in marshmallow, and there was a goddess crying in the corner because she wanted a golden pillow.
(Sunny Midoriya POV)
The end of the day bell rang. It sounded like a choir of angels to Ms. Hina, who was currently staring at a wall and twitching.
I popped back into my normal shape, shaking the marshmallow off my shoes. "Well, that was a productive first day. We learned that Aqua is a fire hazard with water, Bakugo is a walking tantrum, and I'm the only one who knows how to decorate a room with paper."
We walked out to the gate where the moms were waiting.
"How was their first day?" Mom asked, smiling at Ms. Hina.
The teacher looked at my mom. She looked at Mitsuki. She looked at the glitter-covered, marshmallow-smeared, water-soaked children.
"They... they are unique," Ms. Hina whispered. "Please... please don't come back tomorrow."
"She's joking! She loves us!" I shouted, waving a four-fingered hand.
Aqua marched up to her mom, looking indignant. "Mother! The teacher did not bow once! I demand a different kingdom!"
Bakugo was being dragged away by Mitsuki, still screaming about 'Targeting the Rug-Boy.'
Izuku looked at me, his little face tired but happy. "That was fun, Sunny. But... how did you make the marshmallow floor?"
I winked at him, my eyes doing a literal 'sparkle' effect. "Magic of the cinema, Izu-chan. Magic of the cinema."
I looked back at the school. It was still standing. Barely.
"Tomorrow," I thought, "we should try to bring a live elephant. I think the teacher would appreciate the company."